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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 1 to 8 of 8. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by LadyBug on April 19, 2005, at 21:53:30
I've been around here for about 2 weeks. I've made a few replies but this will be my first start of a thread.
I have read so much here and I have learned a lot!!! I think this site is awesome! I have learned that I'm not alone with the madness of therapy!! I feel better for knowing that, as I need all the help I can get to understand it all.
I've been seeing my T. for over 8 years. I love her very much and she has been very good for me. She is wonderful! We've had our in's and out's but we have managed to work through things.
I won't bore you with everything about me right now. I'm sure in time you will get to know me better. I am obsessed with therapy! And obsessed with my T. And I bought the book In Session a few years ago when it first came out. I got a copy for my T. also. It really helped me see things that I had felt even though it focused on female/male relationships mostly. Oh well, some of the feelings are similar. I loved that book and still read from it as I have it right by my bed.
I go in once a week for the most part. I've done 3 times a week in the past if it was needed but once a week for now is good. For this week she needed to change my schedule (for a family obligation) and make it one hour later than usual. That was nice of her to do but it conflicts with my other obligations so I can't go unless I make my daughters come second to my T. and I won't do that to them. So I told her I did't think I should come in this week. I have't talked to her about it cuz I sent a note in the mail to tell her. I had to mail a check so I just sent it with the check. I know her well enough to know that she will be feeling bad about asking me to adjust to *her* schedule because it reminds me of what I've always had to do in life. I'm understanding that she is human and she has needs come up and they can't be helped. She offered me a different appointment, but I declined.
NOW I miss her!! I had one of my major *I QUIT< I'M OUTTA HERE* episodes a few months ago and we are just recovering from it and things are going good. I was doing well and feeling a really good connection with her and now I've screwed that up by making it 2 weeks between appointments. It is too hard for me to go any other time because of my job and her schedule. So I decided tonight that I'd come here to BABBLE to vent my sadness and longing to see her. I'm trying real hard not to depend on her and not withdraw from her either. I don't want to call and bother her with my feelings. But I don't want to go 2 weeks without talking to her either. She doesn't allow e-mail which I have accepted. Snail mail has only been allowed if I am sending journal entries. I can call, but I don't want to bother her.
So I'll get my support from you guys for a few days until I can see her again.
It's crazy, I know, there's nothing quite like the real thing!!!! But then again, this place seems pretty amazing to me!
I love what you all have to say here. I've learned a lot and I hope I can contribute some good stuff too.
Thanks for reading this. I know it's long. But I need to break the ice here and what a way to do it!!
I hope to get to know all of you better as we try to help each other along our journey.LadyBug
Posted by Dinah on April 19, 2005, at 22:16:11
In reply to My first Babble Post :), posted by LadyBug on April 19, 2005, at 21:53:30
Ugh. Two weeks!
Well, we'll do our best. :)
Do you have anything with her voice on it? I have a tape my therapist made for relaxation. One of those guided relaxation breathing ones. I also have a compilation of his best answering machine taped messages. I almost never listen to either. Mostly when I want to touch base I call his answering machine and hope he doesn't pick up. It seems more personal somehow. And I've got some photos of him and his old office on my computer as well. The photos of him don't help much because he doesn't look anything like how I see him, but the office photos are very reassuring.
Do you have any transitional objects like that to use to maintain the connection between sessions?
I love to read about therapy too. I collect therapy stories in books, and also in movies and on TV. My poor husband thinks I'm nuts.
Posted by Tamar on April 20, 2005, at 4:10:12
In reply to My first Babble Post :), posted by LadyBug on April 19, 2005, at 21:53:30
Oh dear - two weeks can seem like such a long time. I remmember the first time that happened to me; my T went on holiday for two weeks. I thought I would fall apart. Oddly, though, it was easier than I expected, but I was pretty desperate to see him when the time came!
Is there any possibility you can reschedule for a completely different time that suits both of you? It might be worth phoning her to ask. You might find you don't have to wait quite as long as two weeks. Or maybe if it's not possible to meet at a different time you could schedule a phone call sometime during the two weeks just to check in?
Tamar
Posted by alexandra_k on April 20, 2005, at 4:17:52
In reply to Re: My first Babble Post :) » LadyBug, posted by Tamar on April 20, 2005, at 4:10:12
Hello.
Good on you for making the leap and telling us about yourself. Changes in regular appoitment times can be hard. Yuk yuk yuk. Two weeks is a long time when you aren't used to it...Still, we will do our best to keep you amused :-)
There is a writing board here too.
Some people like to vent over there as well. Especially when they are feeling mad or sad or alone or whatever. Make use of that too if you like to write.Do you have a tape with her voice? Sometimes that can be helpful. But sometimes it used to just make me cry and miss my t all the more. I got her to make me a relaxation tape which was nice.
Hang in there.
You will make it.
And you aren't alone.
:-)
Posted by annierose on April 20, 2005, at 6:59:22
In reply to Re: My first Babble Post :) » Tamar, posted by alexandra_k on April 20, 2005, at 4:17:52
Welcome to babble!
The therapy relationship is a fragile one. I have helped my T out a few times with switching appointment times. But unlike in your situaion, she was willing to keep our scheduled time, but really preferred a different one. I am forunate with a somewhat flexible job schedule (within reason) so I could help her out. And I liked that feeling of helping her out. She was most appreciative.
Since it doesn't sound like this is a chronic problem, next time something like this comes up, let her know you really want to make an appointment time that can work for the both of you. You mentioned the time with your daughter interfered. Not knowing her age, but a short 50 (?) minute therapy session may not have bothered her as much as you think. A happy mom = a happy child.
Posted by LadyBug on April 20, 2005, at 9:25:48
In reply to Re: My first Babble Post :), posted by annierose on April 20, 2005, at 6:59:22
Thanks to all for your replys.
My daughters are teenagers and the appointment time would mean I can't pick up the younger one from school and we live tooooo far for her to walk. If I tell her to go home with a friend and why she'll kill me! They hate my T. even if they don't understand.
I do have pictures of my T. I will make it through. I hope she calls and tells me she got my note. If she doesn't I'll call her! I like good communication!
This too shall pass!!!!!LadyBug
Posted by B2chica on April 20, 2005, at 11:03:45
In reply to My first Babble Post :), posted by LadyBug on April 19, 2005, at 21:53:30
two weeks can seem like forever...right now i see my T 3xweek and sometimes that seems forever.
but keep posting here at babble and time will flow quite well.
in the mean time, keep journaling...
maybe view this time as a mini vacation for you from all the gunk built up inside.please take care of yourself and try to do something you enjoy (something just for you) at least 3x a week. if its' watching a movie, or taking a bubble bath...
it would be great if you have something of your T's like one of the other posters mentioned. and i think another one mentioned a 'check in' phone call. i think that's a great idea.
best wishes (and glad your here).
B2c.
Posted by antigua on April 20, 2005, at 12:08:29
In reply to My first Babble Post :), posted by LadyBug on April 19, 2005, at 21:53:30
I just wanted to say welcome. You caught my eye because I just love ladybugs--they are my favorite.
The long time between sessions can be tough. Sometimes I wonder how I made it in the earlier years. I usually go once a week, but lately it's been 2 or 3. I've learned it's better to see or talk to her than it is to try and hold it in for a whole week.
good luck. Also, let your daughter complain! She's a teenager and will find out soon enough that life doesn't always go her way! (Yes, I have teenagers too)
antigua
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