Shown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by NightStar72 on March 31, 2005, at 8:16:26
Hello my name is Pammila, I am bi-polar / borderline personality.. with OCD and PTSD.
I am on medication right now:
Abilify 10mg
Zoloft 100mgBeen on this medication for a few weeks, just learned in the last week I am Borderline, and I am unable to cry on the medication, but I am still torn up over feelings of rejection by my ex who is living here with me. We are trying to fix our marriage, least I hope so... I am paranoid that is don't really love me, that he avoids me when ever I need and want personal attention.
I have been informed of a support group a few towns over, but not got to finding them yet, and I have been informed of a Skills Traning manual but have not traveled to a book store out of town to purchase it yet.
I need some hint on couping skills, how to not be so upset like I am.. please if anyone can help me.
Posted by sunny10 on March 31, 2005, at 9:17:05
In reply to Help staff off loneliness, posted by NightStar72 on March 31, 2005, at 8:16:26
you are both hurting right now. We women mostly want to lighten the load by sharing our pain with others (and we do it because it helps!). But men tend to be stoic and communicate LESS when they are in pain.
I really feel that this is the distancing/loneliness that you are experiencing right now.
Give yourself permission to buy that manual online. There is no need to procrastinate a trip into town. It is ok that you don't feel up to the emotional trip of walking into that bookstore, locating the book, waiting in line, and paying for it. I have often put off things that may help me just because of logistics... then I learned to do what I needed on the internet when I wasn't ready to "face the world".
I hope you'll continue to post here and let us know how you are doing.
-sunny10
Posted by B2chica on March 31, 2005, at 9:59:26
In reply to Re: Help staff off loneliness, posted by sunny10 on March 31, 2005, at 9:17:05
Hello NightStar72
welcome to babble (i haven't seen your name here before- Beautiful btw!)
sunny10 gave great words of advice. i'm only going to add that journaling has been Great for me. you may want to give it a try. my dx is similar to yours Bp2, dysthymia, BPD-depressive type, anxiety, little ED, OCD and possibly PTSD. (boy that was a long list!)anyway- journaling, exersizing and a hobby may help. i like journaling cuz sometimes i start to free write (doensn't need to make sense just start writing sentences and tell yourself you can't stop the flow for say 5 min or such, it's interesting what comes out). i like exercizing when i feel things getting out of control or if anxiety is getting high, and my hobby is painting/sketching. it's something i can do in my own home, or outdoors. and my hubby knows not to 'disturb' me while i'm doing this...it's my 'get away' time.
keep posting, and HTH.
B2c.> you are both hurting right now. We women mostly want to lighten the load by sharing our pain with others (and we do it because it helps!). But men tend to be stoic and communicate LESS when they are in pain.
>
> I really feel that this is the distancing/loneliness that you are experiencing right now.
>
> Give yourself permission to buy that manual online. There is no need to procrastinate a trip into town. It is ok that you don't feel up to the emotional trip of walking into that bookstore, locating the book, waiting in line, and paying for it. I have often put off things that may help me just because of logistics... then I learned to do what I needed on the internet when I wasn't ready to "face the world".
>
> I hope you'll continue to post here and let us know how you are doing.
>
> -sunny10
Posted by sunny10 on March 31, 2005, at 11:40:11
In reply to Re: Help staff off loneliness, posted by B2chica on March 31, 2005, at 9:59:26
Yes, I completely forgot to mention journalling... and B2C is the one who got me to try it without even knowing it!!!
The other night I couldn't sleep. You know how it is; a million an one thoughts racing through your brain- can't shut them off??!!?? I got up out of bed, went downstairs and just put all of those thoughts down on paper until I had exhausted them (in literal time, took about a half hour).
I was then able to go back up to bed and fall asleep. If my boss knew what a sleepless night I would have had without B2C's helpful idea, he would have called and thanked her personally !!!
(((NightStar72 & B2Chica))))))))))))))))
-sunny10
Posted by NightStar72 on March 31, 2005, at 12:30:07
I do in fact write a jounal, have always written what I feel, that is my only company most of the time.
I am stuck in my own world, and don't have much outside activities, hate the outdoors, I burn real easy in the heat.
Could not find the support group counselor told me about, and I am down on my finances... I can't use credit card or checks to purchase book online so I have to make the trip to the cities to get it.
I do have a hobby I teach people about credit, how ironic after loosing my job, going through divorce, and soon foreclosure... my credit got scrapped. :-(
But I am very knowledgeable on a many areas concerning credit and write articles, and trying to write a book too. I frequent message boards helping people with credit questions. It is one of my obsessions.
I also like playing games, at pogo.com I like hearts, spades, backgammon, canasta.. stuff like that.
I also love music, of just about any sort.. my counselor is trying to help me build my self esteem, and get me to socialize more, I am not sure how successful that will be, I am strange that way, feel akward talking to people often.
Posted by B2chica on March 31, 2005, at 13:35:14
In reply to Re: quick note about B2C's post, posted by sunny10 on March 31, 2005, at 11:40:11
Posted by B2chica on March 31, 2005, at 13:37:08
In reply to Help staff off loneliness, posted by NightStar72 on March 31, 2005, at 12:30:07
have you thought about getting involved in a charitable organization?
(if you do be sure not to rush yourself or expect too much of yourself as this can become easily overwhelming and then guilt for not doing enough and depression spiral can begin)
b2c.
Posted by sunny10 on March 31, 2005, at 15:05:13
In reply to Help staff off loneliness, posted by NightStar72 on March 31, 2005, at 12:30:07
keep helping people with their credit, that will help you "get out more", so to speak...
Posted by fallsfall on March 31, 2005, at 16:02:26
In reply to Help staff off loneliness, posted by NightStar72 on March 31, 2005, at 12:30:07
Check for the book at your local library (I made sure mine bought it). If they don't have it, they can get it for you through interlibrary loan. That particular book (I assume you are talking about "Skills Training Manual for Treating Borderline Personality Disorder") is worth owning, but the library is free in the meantime!
Posted by NightStar72 on March 31, 2005, at 16:07:24
In reply to Re: Help staff off loneliness » NightStar72, posted by fallsfall on March 31, 2005, at 16:02:26
Thanks, I went to cities today and put in order for the book, I was going to check with Library here tomorrow when I have to take some other books back.
Today has been a bad day couping, plus being tired is not helping my moodswings.
I have a friend here that led me to this site, that has offered to help me once I get the book to go through it. Yes, I am talking about the same book.
Thanks,
Posted by NightStar72 on April 1, 2005, at 5:37:12
In reply to Re: Help staff off loneliness, posted by NightStar72 on March 31, 2005, at 16:07:24
Well I find that I can still cry, it has been upsetting that I can't seem to get on same page with ex, I just feel like he is avoiding me, it is so hard waiting on her terms to get affection.
I know in my mind that he does care about me, it just don't feel like it though.
I guess that is the main problem with being borderline personality is fixing that mind set.
I have thought from time to time that I just should not be living any longer, though I have come close find that I can't finish the job, I was so upset the last time, I opted to cut my hair instead. Just so flustrating to be understood, or fixed from the continual pain.
Posted by NightStar72 on April 2, 2005, at 6:19:35
Hello, Well I have my book ordered, tried finding local support group but so far no luck. I did go to library in meantime and ask that they order the books in so I can read them.
I am just purchasing the skills manual one.. and renting the cognitive therapy one.
Was exteemely upset other day, but I am back to just numb feeling, I still can't shake the fog that I feel I am in though, don't know if that is the medication doing that. Zoloft 100mg and Abilify 10mg.. I was hoping in the next 2 weeks that the doctor will increase the dose or add something to it, to help my depression.
Concentration and memory are shot at this time to, but I started taking multi-vitimins and minerals.
Posted by sunny10 on April 2, 2005, at 11:39:47
In reply to Help staff off loneliness, posted by NightStar72 on April 2, 2005, at 6:19:35
I'm glad that you were able to get things done!!!
The rest will fall into place, too.
Keep your chin up,dear, and keep us informed!
Posted by NightStar72 on April 2, 2005, at 13:48:19
In reply to Re: Help staff off loneliness, posted by sunny10 on April 2, 2005, at 11:39:47
Been in a hurry to get started, been kind of down lately, worry alot and paranoid. I have a friend that is a member here I try to look for but have not seen him yet, not sure what name he is using here - but I know him as Verne - anyone know him?
My counselor don't seem to be interested in treating my BPD she is more interested in fixing my bi-polar issues with self esteem, I start next week on a new work book.
I rather work on my BPD cause getting my marriage back is most important to me, my husband divorced me, I talked him into coming back, but I am paranoid all the time that he is just going to up and leave me, and I don't want to keep pushing him away, I would like some hint on what I should do in the meantime to change how clingy I get to feeling towards him, a different thinking or something.
I am really lonely, I keep tagging various message boards, and have let my primary love go to the side, and that was helping people on credit message boards with credit problems. I hit these sites more now then them sites. I feel bad cause that was my first love helping people, and like to get back productive again and contribute better then I have been the last few months.
I don't know, any ideas appriciated.
Thanks, Pammila
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