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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 15 to 39 of 44. Go back in thread:
Posted by Aphrodite on March 1, 2005, at 18:25:42
In reply to One step forward, posted by Speaker on March 1, 2005, at 18:01:33
That's more like it! I'll be interested to know how he responds. (And good luck with whatever is stressing you.)
Posted by Shortelise on March 1, 2005, at 18:29:46
In reply to One step forward, posted by Speaker on March 1, 2005, at 18:01:33
So he is hearing you, is he?
ShortE
Posted by Dinah on March 1, 2005, at 19:59:59
In reply to One step forward, posted by Speaker on March 1, 2005, at 18:01:33
Hey! Maybe's he's trainable after all!
Good luck with him. I think those fixer uppers have a special charm.
Posted by gardenergirl on March 1, 2005, at 22:29:30
In reply to Re: One step forward, posted by Dinah on March 1, 2005, at 19:59:59
Glad things are going a bit better. Take care of yourself. And do call if you need him.
gg
Posted by daisym on March 2, 2005, at 0:51:17
In reply to One step forward, posted by Speaker on March 1, 2005, at 18:01:33
I'm glad to hear it! I hope whatever it is, it isn't too stressful.
Hey...maybe he reads Babble?!
Posted by Speaker on March 2, 2005, at 9:04:23
In reply to Re: One step forward, posted by daisym on March 2, 2005, at 0:51:17
Now that's a STRESSFUL thought...but it did enter my mind :).!!!
Marie
Posted by Shortelise on March 2, 2005, at 12:13:20
In reply to Re: One step forward » daisym, posted by Speaker on March 2, 2005, at 9:04:23
Is there anyone among us who HASN"T wondered if his/her T reads us here?
I figure mine wouldn't have the time - he's a busy guy.
:-)
ShortE
Posted by pinkeye on March 2, 2005, at 13:42:48
In reply to peeping T's, posted by Shortelise on March 2, 2005, at 12:13:20
the title was so very funny :-) I think mine wouldn't - just for the same reason I try not to go to discussion boards related to my work. Already I spend 8 hours with my work, so why spend more time with the same thing, I like going to other kind of discussion boards because it takes my mind away from my regular work. I know my ex T used to go to discussion boards completely unrelated to psychiatry/therapy - I think he wanted a change.
Posted by annierose on March 2, 2005, at 18:09:34
In reply to Re: peeping T's » Shortelise, posted by pinkeye on March 2, 2005, at 13:42:48
Wouldn't it be interesting if there was a similar psych board for therapists to ask questions about their clients? and for mutual support? Sure would be interesting to read what they say about us? ... although scary too ... especially if we see ourselves.
Posted by Susan47 on March 2, 2005, at 19:49:29
In reply to peeping T's, posted by Shortelise on March 2, 2005, at 12:13:20
I suspect many don't have the time; most, actually, I'll bet. I think if a therapist wants to be effective, though, and he knows his client is on something like this, he or she would be curious anyway. But finding the time and energy to go beyond curious is a huge stretch, really.
Posted by daisym on March 2, 2005, at 21:07:05
In reply to Re: peeping T's, posted by Susan47 on March 2, 2005, at 19:49:29
Are you guys kidding?!!!
I have three kids, a sick husband, a fulltime job running a business, I consult, teach and train on the side, travel for my job and go to therapy 3 or 4 times per week. I'm on two state level advocacy comittees and three local ones. And I have time to be here.
And yes, my house is reasonably clean, I grocery shop and do laundry each week, cook dinner every night (almost) and bake typically once per week.
And yes, I do sleep. Some.
So...I doubt "too busy" would be a reason to not visit.
Sorry, the too busy made me giggle.
Posted by Dinah on March 2, 2005, at 21:26:53
In reply to Re: peeping T's/being busy, posted by daisym on March 2, 2005, at 21:07:05
Posted by pinkeye on March 2, 2005, at 22:21:14
In reply to Re: peeping T's/being busy, posted by daisym on March 2, 2005, at 21:07:05
My God Daisy.. Are you some sort of a Super Woman? :-)
Posted by daisym on March 2, 2005, at 23:28:34
In reply to Re: peeping T's/being busy » daisym, posted by pinkeye on March 2, 2005, at 22:21:14
I hope that didn't sound like I was bragging. I've been told I'm "hyper" (by a pdoc) and I've been told I'm intense.
Actually I think I'm a prototype for a new cartoon character: Anxiety-Woman! Motivated to clean whole kitchens in the middle of the night...able to bake three types of muffins in a single sitting...anything, anything, anything to keep moving so it doesn't catch up with me.
I don't recommend it.
Posted by Susan47 on March 3, 2005, at 0:29:44
In reply to Re: peeping T's/being busy, posted by daisym on March 2, 2005, at 21:07:05
You have so much energy!
Posted by Susan47 on March 3, 2005, at 0:32:14
In reply to Re: peeping T's/being busy, posted by Susan47 on March 3, 2005, at 0:29:44
I'm exhausted, too, just reading all that. I really do not know how you do it. People like you have always amazed me and made me realize how far I could go if I picked myself up and dusted myself off... there goes the old boot-strap method talking again.
Posted by pinkeye on March 3, 2005, at 13:42:59
In reply to Re: peeping T's/being busy, posted by daisym on March 2, 2005, at 23:28:34
you were not bragging. why don't you stop some of the stuff that you are doing and take more time to relax?
Posted by littleone on March 3, 2005, at 14:39:26
In reply to Re: peeping T's/being busy » daisym, posted by pinkeye on March 3, 2005, at 13:42:59
> you were not bragging. why don't you stop some of the stuff that you are doing and take more time to relax?
Obviously I can't comment on Daisy's behalf, but I know from my own experience that often it isn't simply a case of taking time to relax pinkeye. It's more like you are driven relentlessly. I guess like a form of denial. Taking time to stop and relax would mean that the garbage in your head/past/whatever would catch up with you and that is simply not an option.
If it really was as simple as taking time to relax, don't you think she would have already tried that instead of forking out big $'s on her T.
Sorry, obviously this is an sore spot for me. I don't like feeling like my problems are minimised.
Posted by pinkeye on March 3, 2005, at 14:45:54
In reply to Re: peeping T's/being busy » pinkeye, posted by littleone on March 3, 2005, at 14:39:26
I see. I was not aware of it. lately I seem not to be able to understand people. maybe I have never been able to.
I thought she was doing it because she had to take care of several stuff - kids, business etc. So I was suggesting trading something off for some relaxing time.
>
> Obviously I can't comment on Daisy's behalf, but I know from my own experience that often it isn't simply a case of taking time to relax pinkeye. It's more like you are driven relentlessly. I guess like a form of denial. Taking time to stop and relax would mean that the garbage in your head/past/whatever would catch up with you and that is simply not an option.
>
> If it really was as simple as taking time to relax, don't you think she would have already tried that instead of forking out big $'s on her T.
>
> Sorry, obviously this is an sore spot for me. I don't like feeling like my problems are minimised.
Posted by littleone on March 3, 2005, at 20:05:02
In reply to Re: peeping T's/being busy » littleone, posted by pinkeye on March 3, 2005, at 14:45:54
I really sorry I jumped down your throat. It was really horrid and uncalled for on my part. I guess it's apparent that's one of my buttons and I didn't think before posting. My mistake.
Posted by daisym on March 4, 2005, at 0:20:03
In reply to Re: peeping T's/being busy » pinkeye, posted by littleone on March 3, 2005, at 20:05:02
This is a common response that I get from "the world" so to speak. It is easy to look at someone and suggest that they would be happier or less stressed if they were doing less. By the same token, I freely admit that I have no idea how to relax. I can hide from stuff or myself, but I don't remember how to have fun anymore.
I actually entered therapy to try to figure out how to get my joy back and relax more. I remember saying "if one more person tells me to take a bath, I'll scream!"
Don't feel bad pinkeye, and littleone, thank you for defending me. It was sweet.
Posted by pinkeye on March 4, 2005, at 13:04:45
In reply to Peace Please, posted by daisym on March 4, 2005, at 0:20:03
No I didn't feel bad. Just that I am not able to understand what people are going through more. It feels so very sad.
Posted by antigua on March 4, 2005, at 13:29:03
In reply to Session - Stuck?, posted by Speaker on February 26, 2005, at 13:34:04
I was "stuck" for almost six months. What a pain. Just going around and around again, feeling like I wasn't making any progress. Turned out it WAS my relationship w/my T. I tested her, pulled back, thought I was smarter than her and knew better, blamed her for just doing her "job", she didn't care about me, etc. etc. Bottom line: didn't trust her anymore and very seriously considered ending or switchings Ts.
Turned out it was all me and really had nothing to do w/her IRL; it was my mother and childhood issues relating to csa. I can't even remember how it was resolved, but we talked the issue to death and as much as I never, ever wanted to, I do trust her again.
Not explaining it very well. But if you keep working at it w/your T maybe it will become clearer. for me, it worked.
antigua
Posted by Dinah on March 4, 2005, at 14:50:45
In reply to Re: Peace Please » daisym, posted by pinkeye on March 4, 2005, at 13:04:45
(((Pinkeye)))
I think it's hard to see other people in pain, and if you see something that might help them be in less pain, you want to share that with them. That's perfectly normal.
But as you know from your feelings about your ex-therapist, feelings don't respond all that well to logic. And as much as there is an impulse to problem solve, sometimes the best we can do is sit down next to someone, put an arm around their shoulders, and tell them that we hear what they're saying and we're sorry they hurt.
Since my therapist currently thinks I have every reason to be depressed, that's pretty much all he's doing. Except nagging me to work. And it's astonishing how much hearing that it's ok to feel rotten makes me feel better. And the nagging doesn't work at all. But knowing that I can please him by working harder works sometimes.
It never hurts to point out other ways of looking at things, but it helps a lot to first acknowledge the way that person looks at things right now.
Which sounds horribly preachy, I know. But I don't think you really have any more trouble understanding what people are going through than anyone else. In the end, it's impossible to really fully understand what someone else is going through. I think it's just hard for you to see people in pain without wanting to help. That's no sin. And it's not sad, it's lovely. It might be a bit sad to realize that there's a big limit to what we can do to help.
Posted by pinkeye on March 4, 2005, at 16:09:58
In reply to Re: Peace Please » pinkeye, posted by Dinah on March 4, 2005, at 14:50:45
You had put that very well.
Yeah, sometimes we say something trying to help and in the end it confuses the person or hurts the person even more. That is the hardest And sometimes, I just don't know how to help. It is impossible to come up with some nice words which will alleviate the pain.
And the limits of helping is true.. I really admire therapists so much now. They really do the work of God. But it is just impossible for any one person to give so much of themselves to others, be emotionally available, not be afraid of the dependancy, and keep the optimism alive till the end both for them and for the patient. And I think they feel bad too when they have to let go... they have got ohters to take care of. After staring to help out here, I am able to appreciate so much more what my ex therapist must have gone through. Both with me and with others. And somehow I think I will never ever be able to repay him for what he did. And I think many of us feel that way.
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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