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Posted by rainbowbrite on January 20, 2005, at 18:37:41
In reply to new update., posted by lonelygal2 on January 20, 2005, at 18:01:00
I am very pleased to here this. Let us know how it goes.
:)
Posted by Fallen4MyT on January 20, 2005, at 19:22:32
In reply to new update., posted by lonelygal2 on January 20, 2005, at 18:01:00
I will be praying this appointment goes well I am sooo happy they got you in fast...I am here for you and mega hugs
Posted by rainbowbrite on January 21, 2005, at 13:49:55
In reply to new update., posted by lonelygal2 on January 20, 2005, at 18:01:00
Posted by mair on January 21, 2005, at 17:49:40
In reply to how did it go? (nm), posted by rainbowbrite on January 21, 2005, at 13:49:55
Posted by Fallen4MyT on January 21, 2005, at 19:31:00
In reply to I want to know too. (nm), posted by mair on January 21, 2005, at 17:49:40
Posted by lonelygal2 on January 22, 2005, at 1:25:15
In reply to Caring Babblers want to know ???? (nm), posted by Fallen4MyT on January 21, 2005, at 19:31:00
hey everyone. i met with my new therapist tonight and things went pretty well. well, i was sort of worried about meeting beforehand b/c i just wasn't in a good mood, like i felt like i couldn't at all talk about emotions or feelings anymore b/c i felt nothing whatsoever...
but anyways, i met with her and i told her surprisingly a whole lot. like she kept asking me a whole lot of questions about how i've been feeling and then we sort of got into my family and i was just telling her that i didn't really care about anything and so when she would ask me questions i would just answer without fighting b/c i didn't care at all. so in a way, my not caring was helpful b/c i told her a whole lot more than i would have normally. and she sort of explained to me that this week i had probably had had enough with so many different emotions that my mind had probably just sort of shut down. and that makes a whole lot of sense to me.
i went out with an old friend tonight to see a movie and have drinks and it has been a surprisingly alright, maybe even good? day. i am a little tipsie right now so probably i am not amking as much sense as i would like to, but i wanted to let all of you know how my appt. went now that i got home.
i have another appt. wed. i guess i am sort of happy that this therapist seems to be really probing and knows how to deal with all my resistance. b/c i felt going in that she would for sure be annoyed with me b/c of my attitude today. but i don't think she really was. so umm, i'm happy. maybe she cares some and maybe i won't be so alone in all my thoughts. oh and i even told her some of what all i had been thinking about. she made me sign a no-harm contract and told me more numbers to call. hmm, that's all. i'm sleepy. good night.
Posted by rainbowbrite on January 23, 2005, at 17:50:03
In reply to Re: Caring Babblers want to know ????, posted by lonelygal2 on January 22, 2005, at 1:25:15
Lonleygal
I must have missed this yesterday, I am so glad it worked out better than expected and that you had a nice evening out :). it is great you have an appoint to see her agian soon, and hopefully it will go even better. I am really happy for youtake care
rain
Posted by mair on January 23, 2005, at 21:16:01
In reply to Re: Caring Babblers want to know ????, posted by lonelygal2 on January 22, 2005, at 1:25:15
Gee, I meant to respond to this yesterday. Your post made me feel that you're probably in good hands. I'm really happy you had a positive reaction to her and that you're going back soon. It sounds like she wants to stay on top of things. Please keep letting us know how things are going for you.
mair
Posted by lonelygal2 on January 24, 2005, at 7:23:21
In reply to Re: Caring Babblers want to know ???? » lonelygal2, posted by mair on January 23, 2005, at 21:16:01
hi all,
my t actually called on sat to check-in and asked if i would come in today b/c she got the name of some pdocs so that i would start meds again and hopefully see someone soon.
i am so nervous right now about going again. it was better friday when i just plain didn't care and didn't worry.
i am sort of freaking out. i don't want to trust her and then get hurt somehow. also, i'm worried that by seeign her today i'll have to wait a whole long long time before i see her next week- if its like my next appt would be hte next wed. and i don't want to ask to see her sooner b/c then umm i feel dumb. :(
i surrounded myself with people this weekend, like wasn't alone for more than a couple of hours so that i would be forced to not be able to do anything or think about doing anything. but i can't do this for forever.
i am also pissed that i signed that no-harm contract b/c i think it's stupid. what does it matter what i choose to do?
grrr.
i'm scared about today.
Posted by mair on January 24, 2005, at 8:22:28
In reply to Re: Caring Babblers want to know ????, posted by lonelygal2 on January 24, 2005, at 7:23:21
Tell her everything you've said here. I think it's important that you tell her how afraid you are of getting attached to someone who isn't going to be there for the long haul, and I think it's important to tell her how fragile you are now, although the fact that she called you indicates that she knows this.
The push-pull is tough. You need contact with her to keep yourself safe, and you don't want to get attached to her because of perceived future pain. I'd always err on the side of safety. Once you're feeling alot better and over this awful hump, you can deal alot more calmly and systematically with what happens when you have to leave the area.
And I certainly wouldn't be afraid to tell her that 10 days is too long to wait between appointments.
Post us a note after you've seen her.
Mair
Posted by shrinking violet on January 24, 2005, at 10:17:39
In reply to Re: Caring Babblers want to know ????, posted by lonelygal2 on January 24, 2005, at 7:23:21
LG,
I cant type much now as my kitten has settled himself in the crook of my left arm but i wanted to wish you luck and strength today. let us know how it turns out.
sv
Posted by lonelygal2 on January 24, 2005, at 10:48:24
In reply to Re: Caring Babblers want to know ???? » lonelygal2, posted by shrinking violet on January 24, 2005, at 10:17:39
thanks you guys... i can't believe i'm so nervous. i feel like physically sick and i'm at work and i can't concentrate and things aren't goign well, and i want to go home, but jeez i dont want to get people mad at me. and i'm scared of her, but i want her help, but i don't want to want her help, and yuck.
Posted by mair on January 24, 2005, at 10:52:09
In reply to Re: Caring Babblers want to know ????, posted by lonelygal2 on January 24, 2005, at 10:48:24
Just keep thinking of how well you did the other day.
You could also pretend that we're right there next to you - sort of a sidelines group of exhorting fans. (this kind of metaphor must be what comes of watching 2 football games yesterday - a rarity)
Mair
Posted by lonelygal2 on January 24, 2005, at 12:00:21
In reply to Re: Caring Babblers want to know ???? » lonelygal2, posted by mair on January 24, 2005, at 10:52:09
hehehe.
:)
Posted by lonelygal2 on January 24, 2005, at 16:20:19
In reply to Re: Caring Babblers want to know ???? » mair, posted by lonelygal2 on January 24, 2005, at 12:00:21
the subject line pretty much sums it up. apparently i'm too severe and she wants to pass me along. yeah, that's all. bye.
Posted by gardenergirl on January 24, 2005, at 16:24:02
In reply to MY THERAPIST DUMPED ME, posted by lonelygal2 on January 24, 2005, at 16:20:19
Oh dear. I'm sorry that happened. Did she give you names for referral? Will she see you until you do find someone else?
I can't imagine all the feelings I would be feelign if I were you. Immediately I'm thinking anger, sadness, worry, etc. Please take a deep breath and know that she likely is not the T for you anyway. Better to be spared the pain of discovering that down the road?
Please take care and good luck on your search. A good T is out there somewhere for you.
gg
Posted by lonelygal2 on January 24, 2005, at 16:41:37
In reply to Re: MY THERAPIST DUMPED ME » lonelygal2, posted by gardenergirl on January 24, 2005, at 16:24:02
she gave me a name, whatever. i am so FURIOUS WITH MYSELF that i trusted her or even told her anything. she asked me if i would walk with her to the hospital, i was like no way. then she was asking me to call and make an appt with this new pdoc or this new t she wanted me to see. i'm not sure, i sort of was lost in space. but i was like no, i don't know, i dont 'want to see anyone else. and i don't.
i kept trying ot leave. she added to the stupid no self-harm contract that she would call me at a certain time every day and if i didn't answer or call back within 15 minutes she would call the police. i kept not wanting to sign b/c i dont' want ot talk to her anymore at all, but i think i was just making things worse and all i wanted to do was get out of there, and hten she was saying well then write something saying i refused to sign, but then i wasn't sure if that gave her the right to call the police or whatever, so i gave in and signed. so apparently i will be getting a phone call from her tomorrow. lovely.> Oh dear. I'm sorry that happened. Did she give you names for referral? Will she see you until you do find someone else?
>
> I can't imagine all the feelings I would be feelign if I were you. Immediately I'm thinking anger, sadness, worry, etc. Please take a deep breath and know that she likely is not the T for you anyway. Better to be spared the pain of discovering that down the road?
>
> Please take care and good luck on your search. A good T is out there somewhere for you.
>
> gg
Posted by mair on January 24, 2005, at 17:38:23
In reply to Re: MY THERAPIST DUMPED ME, posted by lonelygal2 on January 24, 2005, at 16:41:37
I'm so sorry - I just had so much hope that this was going to work out for you.
It sounds as if this woman may just not have felt herself up to working with someone whose needs are as immediate. Please don't take this to mean anything other than this woman wasn't up to it.
I wish I could give you my ex-T. I decided after awhile that I wasn't really going to make real progress with him, but he was greatest when I was at my worst. I think he actually loved dealing with people in really bad shape - he could be the white knight or something. I know there are Ts like him out there. People who understand emergencies and who know that they can make a tremendous difference to someone in need.
What's happening with the rest of your life? You mentioned that work wasn't going well, but I also got a sense that you're maybe in grad school. Aren't you whereever you are on somewhat of a temporary basis?
Please stay connected here.
Mair
Posted by Fallen4MyT on January 24, 2005, at 17:54:22
In reply to Re: MY THERAPIST DUMPED ME, posted by lonelygal2 on January 24, 2005, at 16:41:37
You know LG I do not know what words to say to you I would feel so sad, mad and jeeze bullistic if I was in a spot like yours. I just wanted to say how very sorry I am and that I hope in spite of this you will in time seek out a T and that relationship will be the RIGHT one with no pain :(
HUGS AND SORRY
> she gave me a name, whatever. i am so FURIOUS WITH MYSELF that i trusted her or even told her anything. she asked me if i would walk with her to the hospital, i was like no way. then she was asking me to call and make an appt with this new pdoc or this new t she wanted me to see. i'm not sure, i sort of was lost in space. but i was like no, i don't know, i dont 'want to see anyone else. and i don't.
> i kept trying ot leave. she added to the stupid no self-harm contract that she would call me at a certain time every day and if i didn't answer or call back within 15 minutes she would call the police. i kept not wanting to sign b/c i dont' want ot talk to her anymore at all, but i think i was just making things worse and all i wanted to do was get out of there, and hten she was saying well then write something saying i refused to sign, but then i wasn't sure if that gave her the right to call the police or whatever, so i gave in and signed. so apparently i will be getting a phone call from her tomorrow. lovely.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
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> > Oh dear. I'm sorry that happened. Did she give you names for referral? Will she see you until you do find someone else?
> >
> > I can't imagine all the feelings I would be feelign if I were you. Immediately I'm thinking anger, sadness, worry, etc. Please take a deep breath and know that she likely is not the T for you anyway. Better to be spared the pain of discovering that down the road?
> >
> > Please take care and good luck on your search. A good T is out there somewhere for you.
> >
> > gg
>
>
Posted by Dinah on January 24, 2005, at 18:03:05
In reply to MY THERAPIST DUMPED ME, posted by lonelygal2 on January 24, 2005, at 16:20:19
But sometimes they're right when they say they aren't a good enough therapist to help us. It's better to know that up front than somewhere down the line.
Did she tell you anything about the therapist she recommended? Is it someone with more experience and skill than she has? I suppose I'd be reluctant to take a recommendation under the circumstances but I guess there's some benefit to getting the name of someone she thinks would be better than she is.
I'm really sorry. It stinks. (A pdoc passed on me once during my Wellbutrin induced agitated hypomania. His loss.)
Posted by rainbowbrite on January 24, 2005, at 18:57:43
In reply to I'm sorry » lonelygal2, posted by Dinah on January 24, 2005, at 18:03:05
Oh Lonelygal I am sooo sorry! that must be awful. I must agree with Dinah though. It is better to find out earlier than later that she isn't qulified. This probably isn't helping much Im sorry, but I think this must happen alot to patients. I feel for you i really do.
((lonelygal))
Posted by shrinking violet on January 24, 2005, at 19:28:38
In reply to So sorry Lonely gal, posted by rainbowbrite on January 24, 2005, at 18:57:43
oh {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{LG}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} I'm so so sorry. Part of me is so upset for you, because I know how much you're struggling with the whole T thing itself, not to mention the other stuff, and I hate that this T added to your pain. But as some of the others said, maybe it's best that she can admit that she might not be the right T for you rather than trying to help and end up making things worse later on. I do hope you find the strength to meet with her referral once. Sometimes things happen for a reason....maybe the referral will be the T you've been searching for all along. PLEASE stay safe. Email me if you need. I'm thinking of you.
SV
Posted by lonelygal2 on January 24, 2005, at 21:45:45
In reply to Re: So sorry Lonely gal, posted by shrinking violet on January 24, 2005, at 19:28:38
just wanted to say thanks for the posts.
i am still at work trying to focus all my energy on a project that i CAN CONTROL, b/c everything still seems so out of control. when i stop to think about something other than this dumb project, it just hurts so much. like right now.
oh and she called tonight, i wasn't very nice, just said i didn't want to meet with her tomorrow morning and that i had nothing to say and that i was fine and to leave me alone. she reminded me about the contract that she can call tomorrow morning and i need to answer. i was just like fine whatever.
i just want her to leave me alone.
Posted by mair on January 24, 2005, at 21:59:54
In reply to Re: So sorry Lonely gal, posted by lonelygal2 on January 24, 2005, at 21:45:45
I understand the anger. Just make sure it stays directed at her and not at yourself. You are blameless here and are entitled to whatever help you need. Keep trying to find it and don't be afraid to ask.
Mair
Posted by lonelygal2 on January 24, 2005, at 22:44:44
In reply to Re: So sorry Lonely gal » lonelygal2, posted by mair on January 24, 2005, at 21:59:54
i came home.
i feel like i'm not blameless, that i am very much to blame, and that i should be fine and take care of myself and now that i said too much i've gotten in trouble.
i just wish i could take everyhting back and just let everything be and try to deal myself.
> I understand the anger. Just make sure it stays directed at her and not at yourself. You are blameless here and are entitled to whatever help you need. Keep trying to find it and don't be afraid to ask.
>
> Mair
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