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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 1 to 12 of 12. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by LittleGirlLost on October 12, 2004, at 15:21:58
I have a rather odd question that I am hoping someone can help me with.
Recently I have begun taking my favorite childhood doll with me to therapy. We've also discovered a younger part of me that likes to email T. (I don't think this part ever spoke in T's presence though.)
My question is: (gosh this sounds silly!) Sometimes when T and I are talking, she'll ask me, "what does "dolly" think?"
Sometimes I make up an answer, but sometimes I'm just stumped! I mean, what does she mean, "what does "dolly" think?" Should I use my imagination to answer (what would my doll think of this, if she could think?)? Or is it how my inner child would answer? Or does my doll have superhuman powers? <g>Any input/experience?
Thanks!
LGL
Posted by daisym on October 12, 2004, at 16:16:22
In reply to My Doll (Question), posted by LittleGirlLost on October 12, 2004, at 15:21:58
It is hard to answer this when I'm not sure who she is talking to. So I would clarify that.
But, if she is trying to access your younger side, you should let an answer float up naturally. It is a little like free associating in your head. We've named my younger self because I was tired of the she-her-me struggle. But when my therapist asks what "little daisy" thinks of something, it is still startling. But invariably she answers him now. Or at least I hear her in my head, even if I don't let her talk. I think she wants to talk to "our" therapist as much as I do.
And, it is a way to access feelings that I might not even realize are just below the surface. But still, it does take some getting use to.
Posted by Dinah on October 12, 2004, at 16:23:22
In reply to My Doll (Question), posted by LittleGirlLost on October 12, 2004, at 15:21:58
Well, this is just me. But in similar circumstances, I've been honest. If I'm hearing you right, she's slightly missing the mark and it makes you feel a bit uncomfortable or pressured to answer as you think she wants you to.
I think I'd just explain that, and add whatever bringing the doll does do for therapy for you. Like, for me, I used the doll to help open access to my more vulnerable side. Which didn't mean the doll had anything to say in session. :)
Maybe you could get her to ask what the doll's mommy thinks instead.
Posted by tabitha on October 13, 2004, at 0:11:59
In reply to My Doll (Question), posted by LittleGirlLost on October 12, 2004, at 15:21:58
My T used to ask my how my "little girl" felt about things I would talk about in therapy. At first I really drew a blank. She tried to get me to sense the child, critical parent, and adult parts of myself. It took me a long time for it to mean anything. For a while I'd do what you described, where I'd imagine what my "little girl" might think, if I actually had one. I think that was a helpful start. Eventually I started to really feel a sense of connection with my childlike core, and now I can usually come up with a response that feels genuine.
I guess your T is assuming your doll is sort of a stand-in for your "little girl"?
Personally my favorite doll is a sock monkey. :-)
Posted by shortelise on October 13, 2004, at 10:02:02
In reply to My Doll (Question), posted by LittleGirlLost on October 12, 2004, at 15:21:58
I took a stuffed animal with me to therapy for a while for comfort. Maybe because I was dealing with feelings from a time in childhood when I found comfort from a stuffed animal.
Maybe it would help if you and your T looked at why you are bringing her, what she means to you right now. I never did that with my T. WIsh I had.
Or maybe she is SuperDoll. Faster than a speeding neurosis, with X-ray emotion. Leaps tall therapist in a single bound. Could be.
ShortE
Posted by LittleGirlLost on October 13, 2004, at 14:19:45
In reply to Re: My Doll (Question), posted by daisym on October 12, 2004, at 16:16:22
>But, if she is trying to access your younger side, you should let an answer float up naturally. It is a little like free associating in your head.
I think that is basically what I was doing; just saying whatever response came to my mind. The only time it caused a problem for me (internally) was when I began to think about it too much.... then I began wondering how "should" I be answering, and am I doing it right.
I just shouldn't overthink it then. We'll try again this week. :)LGL
Posted by LittleGirlLost on October 13, 2004, at 14:26:27
In reply to Re: My Doll (Question) » LittleGirlLost, posted by Dinah on October 12, 2004, at 16:23:22
> I think I'd just explain that, and add whatever bringing the doll does do for therapy for you. Like, for me, I used the doll to help open access to my more vulnerable side. Which didn't mean the doll had anything to say in session. :)
>
> Maybe you could get her to ask what the doll's mommy thinks instead.Like I said in a previous post; I think I am just overthinking at times. It was fine when I said the first thing that came to mind, but it gets confusing when I start wondering "who" she's really asking: me, the younger part, or the doll. We all might have a different response. :)
She does ask me first; but if I don't have an answer, or my answer is "wrong", then she'll ask the doll.As for what the doll does in therapy. Well, I don't remember how or why I first started bringing her, but I've been doing it for a few weeks now and even when I don't bring her, T asks where she is. (I like that.) As a child, the doll was always a source of comfort; and actually that is still her role. So in therapy, I think she's just there for comfort(?) Although now that you mention it, maybe it is to help access my younger self(?). Hmmmmm....
LGL
Posted by LittleGirlLost on October 13, 2004, at 14:34:11
In reply to Re: My Doll (Question) » LittleGirlLost, posted by tabitha on October 13, 2004, at 0:11:59
> I guess your T is assuming your doll is sort of a stand-in for your "little girl"?
I'm not sure.... :( And the more I think about it, it's making me feel stupid and childish. But I don't think it's a stand-in. My doll and my "little girl" part are both very different, and that's why they wouldn't respond the same way. My doll never got hurt like I did. She was always happy. She always comforted me and still does. We think differently. But now that's the problem.... When I think about this intellectually, she doesn't think! I'm confusing myself now. When I feel young and playful, sure I think she thinks, and that's why I know how she would respond to T, but when I don't feel that way, then I don't know how to respond because I don't know who to answer for.Oh, as confusing as that was, I think I just figured it all out. :)
LGL
Posted by tabitha on October 13, 2004, at 14:43:03
In reply to Re: My Doll (Question) » tabitha, posted by LittleGirlLost on October 13, 2004, at 14:34:11
OK, I get it, I think. The doll is like the part of you that feels safe no matter what happens and knows how to comfort you. Your T is trying to get you to tap into that part?
Posted by antigua on October 13, 2004, at 15:12:21
In reply to My Doll (Question), posted by LittleGirlLost on October 12, 2004, at 15:21:58
but maybe your doll represents your core, happy self before anything bad happened to you.
I only say this because I have two hurt little girls inside (one emotionally bereft and the other outrageously angry) and I recently discovered a calm, centered part that I believe is the core me before all this happened. She is pure innocence--and I'm very happy to have found her.
Of course, I'm just probably projecting...
antigua
Posted by LittleGirlLost on October 14, 2004, at 14:59:40
In reply to Re: My Doll (Question) » LittleGirlLost, posted by tabitha on October 13, 2004, at 14:43:03
> OK, I get it, I think. The doll is like the part of you that feels safe no matter what happens and knows how to comfort you. Your T is trying to get you to tap into that part?
>Ohhhhh interesting! I never thought of that.
Posted by LittleGirlLost on October 14, 2004, at 15:24:10
In reply to Not to confuse things...., posted by antigua on October 13, 2004, at 15:12:21
> but maybe your doll represents your core, happy self before anything bad happened to you.
That is a very intersting point. My doll is always happy and that is why when T asks "her" a question, it's usually different from mine. (Her answers are usually positive and happy!)
Ya know what's weird though. My child part emailed T last week after the session and said that I was sad and "dolly" was too. (My T wrote back that she was sorry to hear that.) I love how T speaks to and relates to my doll. :) I even let her hold her one time for most of the session; although she didn't know why I wanted her to and neither did I, but now that you are mentioning the doll representing my core, maybe it's making sense(?) T holding my doll would be the closest thing to her holding me?
I'm confused and I'm getting a headache.
>She is pure innocence--and I'm very happy to have found her.
I'm glad you did too. :)
In fact, as I am having trouble understanding and accepting this "part" of myself, my T last week made me promise not to kill her off, and that children are such a delight. :)I have therapy tonight and it's raining; I don't like to bring my doll out in the rain. Not sure what I'll do yet.
LGL
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