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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 1 to 3 of 3. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by LG04 on April 18, 2004, at 16:39:06
Hi DaisyM, I'm new to this board and have been reading threads. You mentioned above that you might be able to find a link to a great article on attachment that helped you to understand your need for a safe base. I'd love to read that article, if you find the link, can you please post it? Thanks!
Posted by DaisyM on April 18, 2004, at 18:45:16
In reply to To DaisyM, posted by LG04 on April 18, 2004, at 16:39:06
Here is the link:
http://www.trauma-pages.com/steele-2001.htmIt is REALLY long but interesting. If you see yourself, I would bring it up in therapy. It helped me in my work see the difference between the "younger" me and the "childish" me. I still struggle with understanding this neediness with my therapist. He doesn't have a problem with it, but I feel intrusive and am mortified by the intensity some times. When I acknowledge the attachment, it scares me to death. From what I've seen here on the board, some Therapist work to manage and minimize the attachment by limiting contact. Others (like mine) want to work with the attachment so they increase contact, adding sessions or being available by phone.
I've said it before, but my Therapist has often said that he wishes the word "dependency" didn't have such a pejorative meaning. We pretty much talk about my attachment to him now, instead of my dependent state. Makes me feel at least a tiny bit better about it all. :(
Let me know what you think.
Posted by LG04 on April 20, 2004, at 12:42:52
In reply to Article on Dependency, posted by DaisyM on April 18, 2004, at 18:45:16
Hi Daisy,
I will read it and tell you my thoughts.I also struggle with dependency/attachment on my therapist. She works with it, as you talked about it, rather than trying to minimize contact. I am also mortified sometimes by the intensity of my needs towards her and I also often feel intrusive, though she reassures me time and time again that I am not. I am beginning to understand where this feeling comes from, that I felt it from my mom. That's a lot of the reason why I feel so frustrated/embarassed when there is background noise from her kids when I call, because it's as if verifying that I am intruding.
To make matters worse, I am trying to decide whether to stay where I have been living for 3 years (in Jerusalem, Israel) or move back to the United States where I am from. My therapist is so amazing and I've only been with her for two years. I am so reluctant to leave her, sometimes even terrified. but I have a lot of reasons for wanting to move back home. I might start a new thread on this to get some feedback from others on this issue. Is dependency/attachment on a therapist enough of a reason to stay here? (it's not the only reason I'd stay, in fact I think sometimes it makes me feel like a reason NOT to stay, because it would prove how attached I am to her and I want to feel that I can leave if I want and be okay). It's confusing.
Anyway I'll read the article, thank you for finding it for me. Sounds like we have a lot in common. This is a great forum.
LG
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