![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 1 to 25 of 28. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by silmarilone on April 19, 2004, at 9:42:42
Is this the right forum to be able to talk about suidice? I want to make sure before I do, don't want to break any rules or anything.
thanks
SilmarilOne
Posted by Sad Panda on April 19, 2004, at 13:54:58
In reply to Can I talk of suicide here?, posted by silmarilone on April 19, 2004, at 9:42:42
> Is this the right forum to be able to talk about suidice? I want to make sure before I do, don't want to break any rules or anything.
>
> thanks
>
> SilmarilOne
>
>I think so :) What troubles you?
Cheers,
Panda.
Posted by pegasus on April 19, 2004, at 14:11:53
In reply to Can I talk of suicide here?, posted by silmarilone on April 19, 2004, at 9:42:42
I'd like to get Dinah's take on this one.
In the meantime, though, here is my understanding:
This particular part of psycho babble is about psychology and psychological treatments. So if you want to discuss suicide from that perspective (the psychology of suicidal thoughts, or therapy, or something like that) then this is your place. Otherwise you'd probably want to post in Psycho Babble Social, which is meant for general support and anything not covered by the other specific Psycho Babble boards. Please put a trigger warning in your subject line wherever you post about suicide. Those types of feelings can spread, and we like to have opportunities to avoid things that might trigger us.Thanks for checking first. That was sweet.
pegasus
Posted by shadows721 on April 19, 2004, at 14:43:58
In reply to Can I talk of suicide here?, posted by silmarilone on April 19, 2004, at 9:42:42
I think we are on the right board now. Dr. Bob likes keep us posters organized on the board on the topic, so it gets more responses.
S. One, I think this is a very important topic to discuss. Don't feel you are alone about this topic. I have delt with urges of suicide, since I was in the 2nd grade.
Say what you need to help you. I am here for you.
Posted by Dinah on April 19, 2004, at 17:12:41
In reply to Dinah, can you help?, posted by pegasus on April 19, 2004, at 14:11:53
I'm afraid I'm not sure. My understanding is about the same as yours.
Posted by Dinah on April 19, 2004, at 17:14:17
In reply to Can I talk of suicide here?, posted by silmarilone on April 19, 2004, at 9:42:42
Whether here or on Psycho-Social Babble. Are you having problems right now?
Posted by silmarilone on April 19, 2004, at 17:17:27
In reply to Re: Please feel free to talk. » silmarilone, posted by Dinah on April 19, 2004, at 17:14:17
yeah..i'm kind of in that limbo of feeling good enough to just do it. my age and lack of accopmlishment compared to the rest of my family, and many more things i cant write here...i dunno. i'm lonely and my friends don't have time for me, neither does my family really. anyway im just rambling the 14mg klono and alcohol did nothing but make me sleep for 2 days.
Posted by Dinah on April 19, 2004, at 17:29:21
In reply to Re: Please feel free to talk., posted by silmarilone on April 19, 2004, at 17:17:27
Well, I for one am glad to hear that.
I don't read the medication board all that often and haven't gotten to know you well. Can you tell me more about yourself?
I'm fortytwo and married with one child. I can't work full time, and I am definitely not living up to my potential. But I'm trying not to let that define me.
What sort of things do you like to do?
Do you have a therapist or psychiatrist to talk to in real life? If you're feeling that bad, an internet bulletin board probably isn't enough support for you right now, as wonderful as we undeniably are. I have a terrific therapist who helps me out a lot when I'm not feeling safe to be with myself.
Posted by Dinah on April 19, 2004, at 18:00:47
In reply to Re: Please feel free to talk. » silmarilone, posted by Dinah on April 19, 2004, at 17:29:21
Hmmmm... Just in case it wasn't clear, what I was glad to hear was that you had no more serious effects from combining Klonopin and alchohol than two days sleep.
Not that you are feeling miserable.
Posted by shadows721 on April 19, 2004, at 21:57:31
In reply to Re: Please feel free to talk., posted by silmarilone on April 19, 2004, at 17:17:27
Have you thought about making a list about reasons to live? If you die, then you never get to do the following again -
feel your heart beating
feel the sun and the wind on your face
feel an embrace
pet a loving animal
enjoy a delicious meal
enjoy a good movie
read a good novel
feel all emotions
tour a new place
feel your breath go in and out
feel the midst and power of the ocean
give yourself a second chance
learn something new
love someone
go into a forest and feel the healing part of
nature
discover new things about yourself
help someone else
touch another life
feel rain
feel a kiss on your cheek
feel the water run down your body in a shower
tell people about yourselfSuicide steals hope. It steals our body. It steals feelings. It creates a fantasy of a no more problem world. It takes away the body in which our spirit is housed. This is your body. This is your heart. This is your brain. These are your thoughts. Look at each part of your physical self and look at all the details. Start from your bottom of your body and go all the way up. This is yours and only yours. You are beautifully unique.
The spirit is there too. There is a spirit deep within your eyes. It's the part of you that isn't physical. It's there. It's your energy force that surrounds your body and runs through every cell of your being. It's that force that you can take to touch someone else without physically touching another. It's like a candle flame. It's light is lit at all times deep within you. It is the part of self called you. There is no other, nor will there ever be anyone like you. You have the power to change things.
Perhaps, this is what you really fear is your power. It is like that of being in the bubble, before turning into a butterfly. Maybe, you haven't given yourself a chance to test your power to receive all that you can from your life.
You have a life and only you can tell it. No one will know you if you murder yourself. You have a voice to use. Embrace it and get the help you deserve as the beautiful being you uniquely are.
You are seeing only the darkness and not the beautiful flame that is housed in your being.
Don't give up and never give into the urges. Tomorrows will never come. Chances are never given. Don't give in to the NEVER and give into the spirit to live despite the odds. Stand up and say deep within your being, "I deserve to live."This post was written just for you from my spirit to yours.
Shadows721
Posted by EmmyS on April 20, 2004, at 5:51:17
In reply to Suicide is a thief, posted by shadows721 on April 19, 2004, at 21:57:31
You mde me cry happy tears. I absolutely love you. Emmy
Posted by Sad Panda on April 20, 2004, at 12:25:56
In reply to Re: Please feel free to talk., posted by silmarilone on April 19, 2004, at 17:17:27
> yeah..i'm kind of in that limbo of feeling good enough to just do it. my age and lack of accopmlishment compared to the rest of my family, and many more things i cant write here...i dunno. i'm lonely and my friends don't have time for me, neither does my family really. anyway im just rambling the 14mg klono and alcohol did nothing but make me sleep for 2 days.
>
>Hang in there, once you get on to the right AD's for you your suicidal thoughts will leave you. :) What does your doctor diagnose you with? Did you tell him you are suicidal?
Cheers,
Panda.
Posted by silmarilone on April 20, 2004, at 12:28:55
In reply to Re: Please feel free to talk. » silmarilone, posted by Sad Panda on April 20, 2004, at 12:25:56
thank you everyone for your words. I'm kinda between pdocs right now--i keep missing the one with my "new" doc, the "evaluation" meeting thing. it's an hour away and i keep waking up a half hour before the appointment. then he doesn' t have another one for a month.
::sigh::
oh yeah-i'm bipolar with some ptsd thrown in for good measure
Posted by MrSandman on April 20, 2004, at 17:55:42
In reply to Re: Please feel free to talk., posted by silmarilone on April 20, 2004, at 12:28:55
I am glad that you have reached out to people through this board. Although I'm new here I'm sure I speak for all when I say that you are welcome to come here whenever you want, and to say whatever you want. However,
THIS IS AN EMERGENCY. You have spoken of your "imminent suicide." You have made one potentially lethal suicide attempt. You have not renounced the intention of killing yourself. Therefore I must assume that you are in the gravest danger.
Don't wait until your next appointment. Please reach out for emergency help NOW, regardless of the time of day. Either:GO TO AN EMERGENCY ROOM or
CALL EMERGENCY MEDICAL SERVICES (911 in USA)or
CALL a SUICIDE HOTLINE (1-800-SUICIDE in USA)
Posted by fallsfall on April 20, 2004, at 19:22:34
In reply to Re: Please feel free to talk., posted by silmarilone on April 20, 2004, at 12:28:55
It can be scary to see a new pdoc. But it is important to get there. Particularly since you aren't feeling very well these days.
Are you currently on medication? What do you take? When did you see your old pdoc last?
You could call the new pdoc and tell him that you do need to get in to see him. Maybe he could put you in if he has a cancellation.
The next time you have an appointment with him, ask a friend or relative or neighbor to help you. Ask them to call you 1 1/2 hours before your appointment so that you are sure to make it (or they could even go with you - that might even be better).
Do you have a therapist?
If you are feeling badly enough that you are afraid that you might do something that would hurt you, please do go to the nearest emergency room. Babble is great, but we aren't a substitute for real, live help. Do you think that you could to to an emergency room before you did something that might hurt you?
I know that when I'm feeling particularly badly that it helps to have a friend I can call. That person will talk to me and help me decide how dangerous things are. Then, if I need a ride to the hospital, they can give me a ride. Do you have a friend who could do those things for you?
Let us know how you are feeling.
Posted by silmarilone on April 20, 2004, at 19:45:47
In reply to EMERGENCY! GET HELP NOW! » silmarilone, posted by MrSandman on April 20, 2004, at 17:55:42
thank you for your message. I"m sorry, I should have made it clear that I am no longer on the brink of suicide, I've stepped back a couple of paces.
sorry.
Posted by MrSandman on April 20, 2004, at 21:15:21
In reply to Re: EMERGENCY! GET HELP NOW!, posted by silmarilone on April 20, 2004, at 19:45:47
A couple of paces is still pretty close to the edge, man. The wind blows awfully hard and the footing's slippery up here. Take 10 or 15 more paces back toward life and THEN I'll begin to relax.
.
Thanks , but no need to apologize. I kinda deserve it, considering how many times I scared people that way.
But I found a way to close the door on that option and haven't been seriously tempted in several years.
Whatever you need to say whenever you need to say it, I'll be glad to listen and help however I can.
Posted by shadows721 on April 20, 2004, at 22:39:43
In reply to Re: EMERGENCY! GET HELP NOW!, posted by silmarilone on April 20, 2004, at 19:45:47
As for myself, I have been really worried about you. I am always glad to just see that you are posting back.
You can see from the responses a lot of people are caring about you and your safety.
I have to fight my urges almost daily, due to chronic pain and Ptsd. I sure don't want to see or hear anyone else get harmed by major depression. There is a lot of support here as a supplement to all the other necessary therapies such as, medication and therapists to handle living with major depression.
My pets and my husband help keep me going. I don't know if you own any, but they do help. I try to get out my thoughts and look at the moment. I try to just take in the essence of a given moment. I analyze my thoughts that get me into a sinking mode. Sometimes, it's hard to see what the original thought that started the downward slide. Other times, I just go ahead and have my big cry.
My hope is that I will learn how to live as functionally as possible with the depression. Each moment is a success to me now. My feelings do pass, but there are times where it does seem so unbearable. I keep reminding myself - feelings can't hurt me unless I act on them. Some feelings just need to be experienced and that's all. Other times, I just climb back in the bed and try to sleep them away:}
Posted by MrSandman on April 21, 2004, at 2:08:19
In reply to Glad to hear back, posted by shadows721 on April 20, 2004, at 22:39:43
You'll never see a more powerful anti-suicide thought than this from shadows721:
>"feelings can't hurt me unless I act on them."
I battled suicidal thoughts for years and didn't always win.
When it finally occurred to me that I have much greater control over my hands and feet than over my thoughts, I decided my energy would be better spent resisting suicidal actions.
I haven't been seriously tempted by suicide since.
Knowing that I won't act on suicidal ideas has made them irrelevant, uncompelling, and far less frequent.
Posted by silmarilone on April 21, 2004, at 10:29:10
In reply to Glad to hear back, posted by shadows721 on April 20, 2004, at 22:39:43
Well I got the new Indigo Girls CD and that is cheering me up a bit. Doing a clinical trial of Wellbutrin XL...not sure if I'm getting placebo tho, of course. Today they are raising the dose to 300 (If it's the real med)
I'm bipolar and should be on something else too I guess, but I'll wait till the end of the study
thanks all for the kind words, i really appreciate it
Posted by pegasus on April 21, 2004, at 10:48:41
In reply to Can I talk of suicide here?, posted by silmarilone on April 19, 2004, at 9:42:42
I'm so relieved to hear that you're not on the brink of suicide and that you're enjoying your new Indigo Girls album. I'm sorry that I wasn't more supportive in my first email. I guess I was just trying to answer your question, and didn't realize how close you might have been to actual suicide. I'm really glad that you're still with us, and that you're reaching out for help. A lot of us have been there too.
So, I'm curious about how long you've been on this drug trial? And how long it is supposed to continue. If you're feeling suicidal, then I'm worried about you potentially being on a placebo.
pegasus
Posted by deirdrehbrt on April 21, 2004, at 22:15:15
In reply to Re: Can I talk of suicide here?, posted by pegasus on April 21, 2004, at 10:48:41
Similarilone (Hope I spelled that right)
I wanted to let you know that you're not alone at all. I'm 43, divorced, have two kids and I'm in the hospital about 3-4 times per year. My kids live most of the time with my ex.
I have DID (formerly MPD), Bipolar 1, Borderline, and to top it off, Gender Identity Disorder. I am trying to find another place to live, but I'm currently living where some of my abuse took place.
Things are really, REALLY tough. The days that I don't at least think of suicide are very rare. I really try to get help before I get to the point that I try something. Honestly, I don't always succede. I can tell you this though, sometimes that road is extremely slippery. As someone told you, unless you are more than a few steps away, you should be talking to SOMEONE.
I don't know if anyone has ever explained to you what the usual requirements are to determine safety. Here are the requirements where I live.
1. Is the individual saying they are suicidal?
2. Does the individual have a plan?
3. Does the individual plan on acting on that plan?If you answer yes to all three, you need to get help right away.
If you get the help, you WILL feel better. Going to a hospital is NOT a sign of weakness. Even if you someday do make an attempt, if you're alive, if you can get yourself out of the situation and call, please DO SO. I've been there before too. Trust me, drinking charcoal is better than dying.
The most important thing about being alive is staying alive. I KNOW. I've been there. My depressions keep bringing me there. I've been very fortunate in not succeeding. I've come close, but something inside wants to live. I'm certain that that something is inside of you too.
If your next appointment with a therapist is still a month away, call your local community mental health center. They should be able to help you, and they usually work on a sliding fee scale.
If you still need it, Please PLEASE don't fight this fight alone. It's too hard, and the stakes are way too high.
If you think that people just don't care, I already care. I've read your posts here, and I care about you. I care because I've been there.
Dee.
Posted by Dr. Bob on April 22, 2004, at 3:25:46
In reply to Re: Please feel free to talk. » silmarilone, posted by Dinah on April 19, 2004, at 17:29:21
> I can't work full time, and I am definitely not living up to my potential.
Maybe your potential lies more online? :-)
Bob
Posted by Dr. Bob on April 22, 2004, at 3:37:51
In reply to Re: Can I talk of suicide here?, posted by deirdrehbrt on April 21, 2004, at 22:15:15
> I wanted to let you know that you're not alone at all...
I don't want to disrupt the support here, but I do think this is more support than discussion about psychology or psychotherapy, so I'd like to try to redirect this thread to Psycho-Social-Babble. Here's a link:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20040414/msgs/338680.html
Just click it to go to a copy of Dee's post at PSB and reply there instead of here? Thanks,
Bob
Posted by shadows721 on April 22, 2004, at 7:21:00
In reply to Re: Glad to hear back, posted by silmarilone on April 21, 2004, at 10:29:10
Silmarilone, I sure hope that you notified the people conducting the study of your suicidal feelings and the attempt on suicide. Someone else may not have survived an attempt on suicide. You may save others lives. Please communicate your feelings. Keeping it all in doesn't help you and potentially another. You have the power to impact your own life and someone else's too.
Go forward in thread:
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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