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Posted by pegasus on February 26, 2004, at 17:58:45
In reply to paranoid therapist is reading these...., posted by obSession on February 26, 2004, at 17:28:26
Yikes! Well, I suppose one could interpret babble as a bunch of internet freaks who need to say things on websites and can't identify with people in our daily lives. But it's not true. Therapy is an especially trick topic, and it's hard to talk about with people in your regular life. But the distance that the internet provides is perfect in this situation. I hope none of you feel pathetic for posting here. I think it's a fantastic forum, and very empowering.
And . . . well, yeah, I sometimes think, "what if my T ever read this!?" And I even gave him the URL once, because he was curious. So, maybe he does read, although I doubt it. Like you said, though, your T probably knows most of the stuff you post anyway. And if he doesn't, then it might be helpful for him. Maybe he'll learn something useful!
Try not to worry. The help I get here is worth so much - even a little embarrassment with my T. I hope the same is true for you.
- p
Posted by Karen_kay on February 26, 2004, at 18:02:55
In reply to paranoid therapist is reading these...., posted by obSession on February 26, 2004, at 17:28:26
Yes! I feel that way and stupid me uses my own name as a handle, nicknames him something that I'm so used to using I actually call him in real life (Several times I have referred to him as Bubba in real life), and TELLS EVERYTHING about my session...
Uh, YEAH!! I'm paranoid, especially when I talk smack. But, I figure if he does find this place he won't tell me. And he can use the way I perceive things to my advantage. He can "Set me straight" on the way I perceive him, if it's skewed. He can relate to me better, ect....
But, I doubt he's going to waste his time searching. And it won't come up without a search.
Trust me, if anyone would be busted "Telling our therapy secrets" it would be me. And it would have been a long time ago..... So, rest assured, your "secret" will be safe... Mine is. Or if it isn't he's not telling. And he's not helping to fix my patterns, so either he knows and doesn't care or he just plain doesn't know...Maybe if he did know, I'd be fixed by now????
I don't care if he finds it, as long as he doesn't mention finding it to me.... And if he thinks I'm a computer geek, well, I've been called worse I suppose...
Posted by justyourlaugh on February 26, 2004, at 18:24:55
In reply to Uh,,,,,Yeah!!!! » obSession, posted by Karen_kay on February 26, 2004, at 18:02:55
do we know you from a different sn?
i am highly paranoid...
a year or so i posted my real name aswell..
but,,i dont want to hide anymore about my"illness"
if my t does read this , thats ok, as long as he doesnt mention it to me...
i tried out many boards over the years and this one is far better than anyones i have seen..
i feel at home here..
i should not feel i am neglecting "real world",
because this has been the best help to me ,more than these little pills or weekly visits to the hospital...
there are so many wonderful people here under this babble roof than i have met in my intire life.
oh yah, sorry again t for my behavior the other day...
j
Posted by Elle2021 on February 26, 2004, at 20:39:24
In reply to paranoid therapist is reading these...., posted by obSession on February 26, 2004, at 17:28:26
I think that's a pretty normal feeling, at least I hope so. Sometimes I'm really specific or I quote my T on here word for word. I really hope that she doesn't come on here and read. But, I calm myself down by asking, what are the odds? Probably not too high. Plus, I know I'm not the only one with these specific problems... :)
Elle
Posted by All Done on February 26, 2004, at 23:57:19
In reply to paranoid therapist is reading these...., posted by obSession on February 26, 2004, at 17:28:26
Hi, ObSession. I've been thinking about this topic a lot lately and with the help of a friend, I've come to the conclusion if my therapist were to read my posts, the "worst" thing that would happen is we would have to discuss what I've written. And since I haven't written anything untruthful, I think it would actually be helpful for him to understand me a little better (so, hardly the "worst" situation, IMO). I'm even thinking about starting to print out some of my posts or threads and bringing them to my sessions to get discussions started when I feel stuck.
And don't worry about your therapist thinking of you as an "internet freak". If you hang around her a little bit longer, I think you'll see that this is a great group of intelligent and supportive people who just happen to have a common bond.
All Done
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on February 27, 2004, at 8:38:50
In reply to paranoid therapist is reading these...., posted by obSession on February 26, 2004, at 17:28:26
I worry all the time about this! Every once in awhile he'll use the term "psychobabbble" and I just KNOW that is his sly way of telling me he knows all about this palce and what I write. I would feel pretty embarassed actually because I have spent an inordinate amount of time discussing his fashion faux pas and complaining about some of his shortcomings (of which there are few). If he does read this, I hope he at least gets a sense of how much I love and appreciate him.
But I tend to think he is too busy to be surfing the web.
Posted by Karen_kay on February 27, 2004, at 8:59:34
In reply to obsession..., posted by justyourlaugh on February 26, 2004, at 18:24:55
Nope, you don't know me from a different sn. I often think about changing mine, but I figure if it's not broke, don't fix it. Besides, I don't have anything to hide. I don't care if he reads this, as long as he doesn't inform me of his knowledge. And as long as he doesn't become defensive about some of the things I've said.
There have been a few times where he's used certain phrases I've posted. But, I'm quick at catching my reactions and don't skip a beat. I think about it later and think about changing the way I talk about him, but what's the use? I'm being honest about how I feel, so I shouldn't be so scared.... Or should I?
Posted by shortelise on February 27, 2004, at 12:46:57
In reply to Re: obsession... » justyourlaugh, posted by Karen_kay on February 27, 2004, at 8:59:34
I offered my therapist this url and he refused. SOmething about respecting my privacy, I think.
ANd I think he has better things to do.
ShortE
Posted by obSession on February 27, 2004, at 18:48:19
In reply to Re: obsession..., posted by shortelise on February 27, 2004, at 12:46:57
HI this is great thanks you guys....put this on last nite...well you all gave me some great input ...and at least we all understand the topic....and have common ground. I was like what am I doing here putting on some topic ...but at least it helped me to realise that YOU ARE ALL RIGHT and if he knows im on this site soo what that is his problem because i need this support and i need to know there are people out there like me because i feel like im a total lost cause nut case !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
if they really are reading this we need to feel sorry for them because if they check up on every movie , website or place a client goes to they are probably really lacking in the "life department" so not gonna hold back and gonna be honest abt it all from now on ..........
thanks u ppl r great!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by tinydancer on February 28, 2004, at 3:00:16
In reply to Re: obsession..., posted by obSession on February 27, 2004, at 18:48:19
My T already knew about the existence of this discussion board, but I brought it up to him talking about how positive it was for me.
Right now we've got a game going to see if he can identify me here. I don't care at all, nothing to hide from him. But I understand the paranoia from other's point of view of course.
Posted by obSession on February 28, 2004, at 14:02:18
In reply to Re: obsession..., posted by tinydancer on February 28, 2004, at 3:00:16
hehe thats so cool ...u seriously have a game going? does he post here that is soooo cool that he is going to try and identify you if i understand correctly...
Posted by tinydancer on February 29, 2004, at 1:56:55
In reply to Re: obsession..., posted by obSession on February 28, 2004, at 14:02:18
Yes, that is right! I am eagerly awaiting to see if he can identify me....
I don't think he posts here though.
Posted by tinydancer on March 1, 2004, at 8:04:49
In reply to Re: obsession..., posted by tinydancer on February 28, 2004, at 3:00:16
He found me! He told me it took him about 5 minutes. Oh god I am so busted....
HAHAHA!!! And....%¤%&&%!¤!¤!!!!!
Posted by Medusa on March 1, 2004, at 13:18:32
In reply to paranoid therapist is reading these...., posted by obSession on February 26, 2004, at 17:28:26
LOL, I don't think my therapist would bother. I'd be pretty easy for her to identify if she came looking, but she has other things on her mind.
And the worst she'd find out about what I think about her (b/c seriously, shrinks are people too, and most people are primarily interested in themselves) is that I've noticed she's worn the same pants a few times and that I have zero transference with her and that I'm annoyed she tried to do personal chitchat the last time. (She mentioned that I was wearing a skirt, and then that I was wearing glasses. WIWT?) Oh, and I bet she'd be very surprised to read that I'm pretty confident I could design jewelry that would coordinate perfectly with the rest of what she wears.
> just dont want him therapist to think im one of those "internet freaks" and who need to say things on websites and who cant identify with people about issues like these in my "daily life"
>Oh, that's me for sure. Maybe I should let her know this about me in my next session, in case she hasn't figured it out on her own.
Posted by obSession on March 1, 2004, at 16:40:18
In reply to Re: obsession..., posted by obSession on February 28, 2004, at 14:02:18
well done to tiny dancers THERAPIST...he he :P
you rule tinydancer...you have a shrink who takes the time and energy to find u.......i wish my shrink played games wif me..........u lucky u lucky!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!the therapist must have thought "wow" like this site is a bit hectic everyone talking abt their therapists....................
sooooooooooooooooooo kewl!
u rule !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hope he didnt read my 10 reasons why not to sleep wif u therapist.....hehe
would be funny if he kept reading and then read u saying "im so busting" ah well im happy i made this wierd thread at least its sumwhere to vent your "IM SO BUSTED" -its hysterical!!!!!!
Posted by Fallen4myT on March 1, 2004, at 17:11:29
In reply to I am SO busted, posted by tinydancer on March 1, 2004, at 8:04:49
OMG NO WAY..TELL ALL...What did he say??? I would die if my T found this site.,.or me...and he would learn a think or two :D
Posted by Pfinstegg on March 1, 2004, at 22:20:37
In reply to Re: I am SO busted » tinydancer, posted by Fallen4myT on March 1, 2004, at 17:11:29
Am I the only one who prints out my posts, as well as other people's posts, for my T? They can be helpful in getting started on sticky topics, I find. Also, I kind of love educating him a bit about the possibilities of the Net! I feel sure he doesn't surf here though- it would really be a waste of his time to wade through a lot of anonymous posts, because all of our issues are not that different, and, after 30 years of experience, I'm sure he's heard it all, and then some!
Posted by Dinah on March 1, 2004, at 22:36:29
In reply to I bust myself.., posted by Pfinstegg on March 1, 2004, at 22:20:37
Nope. You're not alone. My therapist is intimately involved with the whole Dinah part of my life. He finds you guys incredibly insightful, fascinating, and funny at times.
Posted by Pfinstegg on March 1, 2004, at 23:02:41
In reply to Re: I bust myself.. » Pfinstegg, posted by Dinah on March 1, 2004, at 22:36:29
Mine, too. He's got several Dinah posts, and seemed delighted and fascinated with this extra source of information. At first, he was really struck by how honest and thoughtful the posts were- now, they just kind of weave their way into our interactions without my actually bringing in copies.
Because he had previously been on a board of the American Psychoanalytic Association which dealt with boundary violations, he was especially interested in how intuitively (and accurately) people communicated here about possible violations . He felt that PB functioned as a valuable "brake" on violations which might have been starting to occur in the heat of all the passions that get stirred up. I don't think he had any idea of how sound the general reactions to possible violations actually were here; now, he considers PB very valuable in this regard. Also, he really does like the amount of support which is available here for people who are feeling most depressed and alone. And it's been fun educating him!
Posted by tinydancer on March 2, 2004, at 0:52:39
In reply to Re: I am SO busted » tinydancer, posted by Fallen4myT on March 1, 2004, at 17:11:29
Yeah that's what I said!
He told me that nothing he read shocked or surprised him. Which is a good thing. I don't know how much he read,though...
I thought it was kind of fun. Maybe we can learn something new from this.
Posted by lonelygirl on March 23, 2004, at 23:57:30
In reply to I am SO busted, posted by tinydancer on March 1, 2004, at 8:04:49
Oh my goodness... So at this very moment, there could be a dozen of your therapists reading this stuff??? Woah. Well, I'm sure as hell not gonna tell mine. If he happened to come across this board, he would probably know it was me, but I don't see any reason for him to look.
I wonder if I should tell him about my LiveJournal. I wonder if he would read it if I did.
Posted by lonelygirl on March 24, 2004, at 0:04:01
In reply to I bust myself.., posted by Pfinstegg on March 1, 2004, at 22:20:37
Ok, I know my posts are usually really long and rambling and lame, but if you ever deign to print out one of mine and bring it in, could you let me know? I don't know why, but that would make me feel sooo cool to know that somebody else's therapist was reading what I wrote :)
Posted by obSession on March 24, 2004, at 18:58:17
In reply to Re: I am SO busted » tinydancer, posted by lonelygirl on March 23, 2004, at 23:57:30
hehe so heres any idea ...just a joke kinda thing....if u want u t to know something like the online journal talk about it alot and tell t about this site ....its an easy to tell a t something without actually having to tell them , but clearly hopefully we should all be at a very honest point with out T's :P
Posted by lonelygirl on March 24, 2004, at 21:55:47
In reply to Re: I am SO busted, posted by obSession on March 24, 2004, at 18:58:17
I definitely won't tell him about this site... but maybe about my LiveJournal. I won't give him my user name, but he would be able to find it if he looked hard enough (he could search by interest for my school, and my screen name has my first name plus middle and last initials). I kind of fantasize about HIM googling ME and looking for my LJ, etc. But I know he doesn't.
There are just two problems. First, I am not sure I want him to know that much about me. I think the more he finds out about me, the less he will like me.
Second, he views himself as my "outlet." He knows that he is the only one I talk to. If he knows that I have a LiveJournal, I think he will feel like I don't need him as much. I am not sure why, but I sort of like to have him think that he is my only connection to the world, and also that he knows me better than anyone else. I guess that makes me kind of manipulative :-(
Posted by obSession on March 25, 2004, at 15:31:12
In reply to Re: I am SO busted » obSession, posted by lonelygirl on March 24, 2004, at 21:55:47
no thats cool and totally understanable like with therapy and patients there usually is manipulation involved even if it is subconscious i mean therapists have sooooo many other patient and we just have one therapist, manipulation even subtle manipulation is sometimes the only way to go.
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