Shown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by DaisyM on November 15, 2003, at 17:24:28
I'm feeling blue today and I think it is because I have real doubts (fears?) about where to go from here in therapy. I don't know. There doesn't seem to be anything new left to say and I'm sick of hearing myself say the same things. I feel better and then worse, depending on what I let myself think about. Maybe it is the Holidays closing in...
Therapy makes me lonely sometimes. It is so great to really tell someone about how bad you feel but then again, it makes you want to have the opportunty to be that honest more often. Is it the attention?
I don't know. I guess I'm just blue today.
Posted by justyourlaugh on November 15, 2003, at 17:54:56
In reply to Feeling Blue - rambling, posted by DaisyM on November 15, 2003, at 17:24:28
daisy..
good for you..
i really feel that the "impass" you are in is a good sign about trusting yourself..
you are intelligent enough to see what is beyond therapy..mabe you are ready to move forward and heal yourself...
or maybe your therapist is really dull?
either way you have great insight..
trust yourself
j
Posted by karen_kay on November 15, 2003, at 18:05:03
In reply to Feeling Blue - rambling, posted by DaisyM on November 15, 2003, at 17:24:28
I think that therapy makes me lonely a lot because I can be somewhat (wish I could be more!!) honest with him but not with my boyfriend. So, I am being honest with someone one hour a week. And then I leave the office and go back to feeling the same again. So, I just have this cycle of opening up and then shutting my feelings down for a while all over agian. I'm not sure if this is the case with you, but maybe you feel like you are missing this open and honest relaitionship from your personal life?
What are you letting yourself think about that is making you feel down? Is it helping you deal with things that you need to, or is it just bringing you down?
If you are unsure of where to go in therapy maybe you should discuss this with your therapist. Let him/her know that you feel that you are running in circles and not accomplishing anyhting. Also, that you are having self defeating thoughts that aren't helpful.
I'm sorry you are feeling blue. You have always been so very helpful to me sweetheart. I just know in my heart that you are such a great and wonderful person and I wish you weren't feeling blue ever again in your life. I wish I could take anything bad that has or ever will happen to you away and only bring good and joyfull things to your life. I know that sometimes in therapy we all feel that we are talking in circles but sometimes maybe we need to, to get things accomplished. Maybe it is needed to kind of make us realize our own patterns of actions. I wish you only the best hun. I hope you have a great day tommorrow, full of hugs and kisses from children and puppies. ((((DaisyM)))) hugs, Karen
Posted by DaisyM on November 15, 2003, at 21:52:05
In reply to Re: Feeling Blue - rambling, posted by karen_kay on November 15, 2003, at 18:05:03
I don't know if I feel intelligent enough to feel done...and my Therapist definately isn't dull. It's me...and I have told him I feel like a broken record. He says he doesn't hear me that way. But, he has to say that.
And yes, Karen, I feel exactly like you. Open up/close down...I don't feel I can really open up here at home because a lot of what I am dealing with is my husband's illness, or the side-effects (his anger) of it all. It is so depressing sometimes. Other times, I don't know exactly why I feel anxious or depressed. Nothing is new or worse. I just am a lot less giving, a lot less tolerant, especially here at home.
A friend gave me a book to read - something about mind over matter. I don't know, it doesn't seem that simple to me. I keep wishing I could handle it all -- it's just not happening. Last week I felt better, this week worse again. I hate these mood swings. And i hate that I can't make myself better. :(
Hopefully I will wake up tomorrow feeling better. Thanks for your wishes and thoughts. Now, wave your magic wand, please!
-D
Posted by karen_kay on November 16, 2003, at 7:10:20
In reply to Re: Feeling Blue - rambling, posted by DaisyM on November 15, 2003, at 21:52:05
>I wish I had that magic wand, I would use it one you first! A lot of what has helped me is opening up to my sister. Before therapy, we had a close relationship. Now, she knows everything, including hwat happened between my father and I. And something similar happened with her as well. This was known when I was a child. Is there someone in your life that you can open up to? It was very hard for me to do, because I felt that no one wants to know how I feel. After talking with her about it, she cried. She assured me that she wants to know everythign aobut me. And opening up to her has heped me to open up even more with my therapist. This might help you open new doors during therapy. I'll be thinking aobut you hun. Karen
Posted by Poet on November 16, 2003, at 13:21:57
In reply to Feeling Blue - rambling, posted by DaisyM on November 15, 2003, at 17:24:28
I'm sorry you're feeling so down. I can understand why in therapy you feel like a broken record. I sit there thinking that my therapist must be bored out of her skull hearing the same old boring stuff from me week after week. Though she's never said let's talk about something else, so maybe it's just that I am frustrated that I never seem to get better.
I agree with Karen, try talking to a friend. I have a friend who is a chronic therapy quitter, she told me that talking to me is the best therapy she's had. It helps me to talk to her, too, as she sometimes understands things that my therapist just can't get.
I hope your blues are gone today.
Poet
Posted by Speaker on November 16, 2003, at 20:20:20
In reply to Feeling Blue - rambling, posted by DaisyM on November 15, 2003, at 17:24:28
DaisyM,
It sounds to me like this might be grief...if you are living with a husband that has an illness. My husband had a stroke at a young age and my children were in junior high...lots of grief! He was still alive but the loss of who he had been was tremendous. I am a pull yourself up by the bootstraps kind of person. I didn't realize how much grief there was and he lived five more years. The ups and downs go with illness and the grief that comes from that. I would talk to the therapist and see if this could be some of it. Feeling like its the same thing over and over is usually because it is with chronic or terminal illness. It is over and over again and it doesn't get easier just because you have been there before. I trust you will see the sunshine a little better this week even though the cloud of illness is still present.
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