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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by john26 on October 7, 2003, at 3:34:53
i feel like my wife is dipping into an old pattern again. we've come through 3 years of therapy and meds that seem to have worked through her PTSD. we even moved back to canada for a year to deal with this. she got off her medication was doing well, even severed ties to her parents (they emotionally abused and controlled her all her life. well now we've back to a city we love (yes, she wanted to be here badly) and she's falling apart before my eyes again.
the dr's put her on serroquel 50 mg, topomax 75 mg and lexapro 10mg. does anyone know about this combination how long till i get my wife gets her hope back?
has anyone gone through this before? i talked to a psychologist that listed disassociative disorder and general anxiety as 2 keys. she had her take a 175 multiple question test. does anyone know about this test?
needing a ray of hope, ben
Posted by deirdrehbrt on October 8, 2003, at 0:51:04
In reply to feeling lost, posted by john26 on October 7, 2003, at 3:34:53
Hi John,
I'm sorry that I can't tell you how long it will take you to get her back. Meds do not have a specific amount of time for them to work; it is different for each person, and in a single person the result may vary depending on the situation.
There are a number of tests which are used to determine dissociation. One is the DES, but it contains only 28 questions; there are more, but I am not thinking well enough to remember them. I just took evening meds which have lots of seroquel, and it's getting hard to see.
I'm sorry I couldn't help more.
Dee.
Posted by Dr. Bob on October 8, 2003, at 16:59:22
In reply to feeling lost, posted by john26 on October 7, 2003, at 3:34:53
> the dr's put her on serroquel 50 mg, topomax 75 mg and lexapro 10mg. does anyone know about this combination how long till i get my wife gets her hope back? ...
Sorry if it's confusing, but there are a number of different message boards here, and (plain old) Psycho-Babble is the one that focuses on medication-related issues. Here's a link:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20031004/msgs/266860.html
Best wishes,
Bob
Posted by john26 on October 8, 2003, at 17:33:07
In reply to Re: feeling lost, posted by deirdrehbrt on October 8, 2003, at 0:51:04
thank you dee. for getting back to me. i'm trying to get her into a therapist but she has no hope and has given up. i know this has a lot to do with her mother. there was a lot of emotional abuse.
john
Posted by EscherDementian on October 11, 2003, at 0:11:45
In reply to Re: feeling lost, posted by john26 on October 8, 2003, at 17:33:07
> thank you for sharing it does indeed help. especially your story. if i read it right you had to go back on meds after severing the ties?
>
Yes, after successful therapy and SSRI assistance, i was 3 years w/out meds. My Post Traumatic Stress Disorder regarding my family was triggered by the death of my father. My mother's manipulation patterns and unchecked abusive targeting re-entered my life and cumulatively caused me serious harm in my vulnerable state.
I have had to re-sever ties and deal with the PTSD with a new PHdoc and medical assistance.
> i ask because my wife was off everything for about a month. then we moved and at the same time severed ties to her parents. it appears that her previous therapy focused more on childhood traumas from other people. but her parents abuse has really come to forefront now. of course the stress of moving to another country doesn't help.
>
I know this may sound strange, but with a childhood full of trauma, sometimes being in crisis can be a more familiar territory than dealing with changes. It can happen unintentionally as a remnant of old defences that kept us "safe" then (but are no longer appropriate for _now_).
For me, it's been VERY important to be able to stay connected with supportive involvements through changes.
> the meds started a week ago and tonight we had a great 2 hour talk about high school experiences. but every other moment is about how she gives up. that this pain is her lot in life and that i should leave her for my own good.
>
My heart really tugs when i read this. I know this reality SOooo closely. I've even said the same, and at one low point, bought my own life insurance for my husband and friends to benefit when i was gone "for the burden my life's pain has been for them". i couldn't have raised my hand against myself in a suicide, but i had so given up that i would've welcomed a freak accident or to somehow waste away as 'dissipating worthlessness'. If she is in a state similar to mine, 'feelings' are undistinguishable from 'realities' or 'personal life assessments', and alternative perceptions are impossibly unrecognizeable.
> i'm trying to get her to a new therapist here for the first time. right now she says she won't leave the house.
> it doesn't help though that she also pain in all her joints that weakens her. it seems like her mom's voice prays on the pain and tells her that the US is bad for her and makes her sick. i think she gives up hope to quiet the inner battle.GOT to get her out to a Pdoc. The first time i went, i was ungroomed and burst out crying as soon as i opened my mouth. Let them see the worst. That's why they make the big bucks$, no?
> how long did it take for your meds to help. how do you know when they're starting?
>
It took the correct SSRI about 3 weeks->a month to allow me to retain any 'positive' feeling long enough to incorporate it into my life. Or, to be able to distinguish between 'feelings' and 'perceptions'. Unfortunately, my MHNP and i had difficulty finding an effective anti-anxiety or mood elevating medicine. But in retrospect, focusing on and fighting those side effects, even disagreeing with my doc, was a kind of reaffirming commitment to my right for my life to have wellbeing. That distraction (and ragging on and on here on PsychoBabble*) bought me some time until the right fit Pdoc and meds were found. I'll confess, the whole process took months. Our fragile selves are even more unique than when we are well.
I knew they were working when i could make choices again. About anything. i didn't necessarily 'feel good', but i could work on it.
> have you been resolving the issues with your family? was it new issues that caused the relapse or another stress?
>
Unfortunately, resolving issues in a traditional sense will be improbable for me. This has to do with another event that caused compounded PTSsyndrome.
A good 'emotional skills' approach in therapy has been teaching me how to resolve issues and self-devastating perceptions.<-(My Pdoc called some of them 'brainwashing')
> i know for her she feels like every time she tries to do what she wants it won't happen.(her mother never allowed her to do what she wanted but she had to enjoy what the mother wanted)My mother would hurt me and then become angry at me for being hurt. Then manipulate the 'story' to put me at fault. My father put the responsibility for protecting myself from her alcoholic unreasonableness and aggressive rages on my own ability to "not make waves". (i was a child and she was often violent). My younger siblings agreed with anything to keep out of her line of fire, and were smug that it was me and not them. Honest, these traumatic soul-woundings CAN be unwound. Our own intent for our own lives is more powerful than anyone elses influence or force. Perhaps more than your wife can imagine right now.
If it happens for her like it did for me, starting with small stuff, she'll be able to see that some small thing she wants to make happen is happening. And be encouraged by that. Or even just laugh at the silliness of the obvious. It's gradual empowerment.I've found that there ARE Pdocs or Therapists who can help immensely. If you are paying without insurance, I'd look for someone who can perscribe AND is interactively strong in teaching emotional skills & strategies, not just listening. i found that only re-telling or re-living it all for understanding was not productively healthy. Guidance in transcending traumas with now/present skills is key for me. The chem/meds have also been crucial in the beginning. And -believe it- keeping up with nutritional health with suppliments and a walk(at least) outdoors as often as i can. Yes, it really really does make a huge difference. Buddy up with her if she hasn't the will to do it herself. i didn't. And Humor is HUGE medicine.
Please forgive me for advising something personal? Keep your love for her steady-state, Ben. Sounds like you love her very much. Can you minimize any conflict that comes up between you for now? Until i had a grip, conflict demolished me. If you can, use non competetive methods if you two are at odds about anything.
i'm still struggling but it's happening. i don't feel like "a one legged reject in an ass kicking contest" anymore ;-)
> thank you so much,
> benHope it helps,
My thoughts are With you~*In an unexpected way, insomniac sessions of being able to 'lurk' and exchange here, in my need-of-a-wash PJs and tangled hair was a bit of life raft...
Posted by john26 on October 11, 2003, at 2:24:56
In reply to Re: feeling lost(a little about therapy?), posted by EscherDementian on October 11, 2003, at 0:11:45
thank you EscherDementian for your post. it helped a lot. i did back away from talking hope when she's dark. it's tough but i thought about the conflict part.
she did see her therapist - in our car. she wouldn't leave but i was happy the therapist did it.
she got something for pain. now she talks about leaving but also about decorating and trips. she also talks about getting her life back and removing memories.
personally i'd like to kick the crap out of her mom. she's was an emotional tyrant that put everything on her and controlled everything including who and when she dated. the father blamed her if the mom was mad at him. so it sounds much like your story.
did you feel like you had completely disconnected from your parents before his death or were always worried that you were strong but they were still haunting you. i guess i'm asking if the relapse isn't a relapse but a continuation of your healing and self discovery of your inner child that you hadn't finished yet? what do you think?
i feel that my wife was stronger before but that this is in a way necessary for her true self.
my heart is with you and yours,
ben
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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