Psycho-Babble Psychology Thread 234827

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Clarity eludes me (rambling)

Posted by Tabitha on June 18, 2003, at 13:39:48

I've been discussing taking a career sabbatical for some time now. The original plan was to quit my job and take a year off before starting another one. I'm hoping that during that time I'd get clarity about what I want to do with the rest of my life (I'm 40 now) including a possible career change.

I've been balking about when to quit. I just don't have clarity. There were a couple things I needed to do, like re-finance my house, and catch up on medical checkups and dental work, that I've nearly finished. I thought I'd get total clarity about when to quit but I haven't. I discussed it in therapy, I gave myself an artificial deadline of August 1 to give my notice.

Nothing really feels right. My therapist said maybe it's too big a step for me, and we discussed some other options, but I just feel stuck. I think I just need to proceed without total clarity, and maybe it's a mistake to quit, but anything is better than staying stuck. I don't want to keep working there, and I don't want to start a new job right now. She asked could I do consulting during my time off, but even getting that set up would be practically like a job hunt.

I just want to quit, but I have lingering fear about losing my income for that time, about losing health insurance or having to pay a lot for it, probably having to cut down therapy or switch to group therapy. The fear is never going to go away completely and I just want to quit anyway even if it's a mistake, I want to do it then if it is a mistake I can fix it later by getting a new job. Right?

My work motivation is lower each day, and I don't want to stay so long that people forget what good work I did in the past, and possibly sabotage getting a good recommendation from them or even, as last chance backup, being able to return to work there.

 

Re: Clarity eludes me (rambling) - Tabitha

Posted by BekkaH on June 18, 2003, at 20:07:31

In reply to Clarity eludes me (rambling), posted by Tabitha on June 18, 2003, at 13:39:48

Hi Tabitha,

Instead of quitting work completely, how about working part-time? That way, you'd still have your medical benefits as well as structure and routine, but you'd have more time to reflect on and research what you want to do in the future. If you're prone to depression, quitting work completely is probably not a good idea. Structure and having a schedule are very important, especially for those of us who suffer from depression.

Bekka

 

Re: Clarity eludes me (rambling) » Tabitha

Posted by Dinah on June 19, 2003, at 16:23:51

In reply to Clarity eludes me (rambling), posted by Tabitha on June 18, 2003, at 13:39:48

It's hard to act against those fears. The misery we know has a certain comfort in comparison to facing the unknown.

Could you set aside a certain time to meditate upon the question, and listen hard for that still small voice inside? I often find that I vascillate like crazy but then get a sense of calm certainty about the right thing to do. Mine usually are bathtub revelations as the water runs over my hands.

Of course, the decisions I come to from that sense of calm certainty are often wrong, so you should probably ignore whatever I say. Or maybe do the opposite, to be on the safe side. :)

 

Re: Clarity eludes me (rambling) - Tabitha

Posted by waterlily on June 19, 2003, at 19:03:16

In reply to Re: Clarity eludes me (rambling) - Tabitha, posted by BekkaH on June 18, 2003, at 20:07:31

I was going to suggest the same thing. I've been working 24 hours per week ever since my oldest daughter was born 11 years ago and it has worked out well for me.


> Hi Tabitha,
>
> Instead of quitting work completely, how about working part-time? That way, you'd still have your medical benefits as well as structure and routine, but you'd have more time to reflect on and research what you want to do in the future. If you're prone to depression, quitting work completely is probably not a good idea. Structure and having a schedule are very important, especially for those of us who suffer from depression.
>
> Bekka


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