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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 1 to 15 of 15. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by waterlily on November 24, 2002, at 19:33:36
"How Psychotherapy Really Works, How it Works When it Works and Why Sometimes it Doesn't" by Willard Gaylin, M.D. is a book that was mentioned on this forum a long time ago. I wrote the title and author down but just recently bought it. I always wondered why my therapist never told me what she wanted me to talk about, what she was thinking, and how this therapy was supposed to work. Since my husband wondered aloud if she was much of a therapist since she didn't appear to have a direction in mind for my therapy, I always doubted her too. This book answered all of my questions and now I have a much better idea of what really is happening in there and why. Furthermore, I know that my therapist is doing exactly what she's supposed to. Ahhh... what a relief.
Posted by ShelliR on November 24, 2002, at 21:37:15
In reply to How Psychotherapy Really Works - good reading!, posted by waterlily on November 24, 2002, at 19:33:36
> "How Psychotherapy Really Works, How it Works When it Works and Why Sometimes it Doesn't" by Willard Gaylin, M.D. is a book that was mentioned on this forum a long time ago. I wrote the title and author down but just recently bought it. I always wondered why my therapist never told me what she wanted me to talk about, what she was thinking, and how this therapy was supposed to work. Since my husband wondered aloud if she was much of a therapist since she didn't appear to have a direction in mind for my therapy, I always doubted her too. This book answered all of my questions and now I have a much better idea of what really is happening in there and why. Furthermore, I know that my therapist is doing exactly what she's supposed to. Ahhh... what a relief.
Hi Waterlily,
I haven't read the book you're talking about, but what you've written seems very strange to me. Maybe it's just a semantic thing.
I think there are so many types of therapy and so many different ways of doing therapy, that the notion that a therapist is "doing exactly what she's supposed to be doing" feels very suspect to me.
A couple of years ago I changed therapists because I felt that the therapist I had been working with, didn't structure the therapy enough for me, didn't give me enough imput/opinion into how she viewed the issues I was bringing up and how I handled them. Actually, I felt that she just didn't overall talk enough for me.
I liked her a lot as a person, but I work best with a lot of structure, and with therapists who communicate how they see things, even if I disagree with them. I also want to be pushed to talk about things I am avoiding, or at least reminded that I have kept something on the back burner, so that maybe I can learn what about it is scary to me. So I switched to a much more active therapist. I feel that I'm strong enough to hear a therapist's opinons, (within reason and with respect, of course), ponder them, and accept or reject them fully or in part.
It was somewhat scarier to work with a very direct therapist, but I felt that I progressed much more quickly in meeting my goals. More and more I have come to see a therapist as a coach: someone to support you, root you on, and point out things that may not be working for you or getting in your way.
Maybe I needed to have read the book to really understand your post. I feel that different personalities and methods of therapy work differently with different people, AND the same therapist might work in a different manner with two clients who are very different and have very different needs.
Shelli
Posted by JenR on November 24, 2002, at 22:46:36
In reply to How Psychotherapy Really Works - good reading!, posted by waterlily on November 24, 2002, at 19:33:36
My first therapist always waited for me to start, take it where I want, and almost never gave opinions. Although I wondered why he wasn't "doing therapy" with me since it was so self-directed, it actually was very deep and intense. It ended terribly because he "forgot" to tell me the dates of his vacation....long story. Anyway, the current one always starts by saying "how are you?" or asks how a particular thing went, which now, because I am used to the other style, bugs me. I want to jump right in with what's on my mind, not answer her opening question. And she does give opinions, but I do like the input. This time is more superficial, but that's also because there is so much more going on now, that there isn't the luxury of time to get in more depth. I guess there is no right way. If I could I would combine the best of both of them.
Posted by waterlily on November 25, 2002, at 15:45:51
In reply to Re: How Psychotherapy Really Works - good reading! » waterlily, posted by ShelliR on November 24, 2002, at 21:37:15
I'm sorry my post sounded strange to you. It's impossible for me to really get into how my therapy meshes with what the author describes. It's too long and involved for a format like this. Suffice it to say, what he described agreed with what I've experienced with my therapist. There's room for differences between therapists and patients, but the basic methods and reasons behind them would be the same. My therapist is non-directive, but will frequently offer her interpretations of things, ask me questions, and challenge me to do things that I may feel uncomfortable with.
Posted by Dinah on November 25, 2002, at 19:05:56
In reply to How Psychotherapy Really Works - good reading!, posted by waterlily on November 24, 2002, at 19:33:36
Thanks for the book recommend. It looks interesting and I put it in my Amazon basket for my next order.
When I started therapy, I became a voracious reader about therapy. I just couldn't stand taking part in something I didn't understand. I'm quite embarassed by my collection. My husband teases me that I'm getting ready for my doctoral thesis. I think, in fact that I read a bit too much for an optimal therapeutic experience. :)
Posted by ShelliR on November 25, 2002, at 20:29:44
In reply to Re: How Psychotherapy Really Works - good reading! » waterlily, posted by Dinah on November 25, 2002, at 19:05:56
> Thanks for the book recommend. It looks interesting and I put it in my Amazon basket for my next order.
>
Okay, so Bob has been lobbying strongly for us to order from Amazon to help support this site.So now , is it going to become protocol for babblers to also "advertise" that we did indeed order from Amazon.com? Letting Dr. Bob know what good little babblers we are?
Perhaps what I just said was the furthest thing from your mind when you mentioned Amazon, Dinah, but it left me with a claustrophobic feeling.
Considering the thread which included some strong feelings about keeping bookstores in business (when possible), is it really necessary to revisit this everytime we decide to buy a book, to mention if we bought it from amazon? I hope not.
Shelli
Posted by Dinah on November 25, 2002, at 20:55:55
In reply to Re: How Psychotherapy Really Works - good reading! » Dinah, posted by ShelliR on November 25, 2002, at 20:29:44
Geez, Shelli.
As it happens, I (hang head in shame) didn't order it through Babble, and in fact always buy psych books from Amazon. First of all, they have the widest selection, and second, I don't run the risk of running in to anyone I know with an armful of psych books.
Is there something going on that I don't know about? Why the comments on my mentioning my buying habits? Have I offended in some way?
I'm not trying to suck up to Dr. Bob, I'm not trying to be a good little Babbler, and I'm not following protocol. I merely thanked someone for their suggestion and remarked that I had acted on it.
Posted by ShelliR on November 25, 2002, at 21:26:59
In reply to Re: How Psychotherapy Really Works - good reading! » ShelliR, posted by Dinah on November 25, 2002, at 20:55:55
Dinah,
Okay. Misinterpretation on my part. (My mind obviously never completely left the thread I referred to.)
Sorry,
Shelli
Posted by Dinah on November 25, 2002, at 21:40:17
In reply to Re: How Psychotherapy Really Works - good reading! » Dinah, posted by ShelliR on November 25, 2002, at 21:26:59
Apology accepted, Shelli. No harm done.
(By the way, none of my local bookshops are independent.)
Posted by Tabitha on November 26, 2002, at 2:13:22
In reply to Re: How Psychotherapy Really Works - good reading!, posted by waterlily on November 25, 2002, at 15:45:51
I really like the non-directive approach too. Sometimes it frustrates me that my therapist doesn't lay out her therapeutic theories, but honestly I think that's better for me. If I knew where it was supposed to be going, I'd start trying to be a good student.
I've gotten so used to being allowed to talk about whatever is on my mind that now I get really annoyed with people who make conversation by asking questions. I just want that freedom to let myself talk about whatever I need to talk about, without any agenda.
Posted by Dr. Bob on November 26, 2002, at 3:18:51
In reply to How Psychotherapy Really Works - good reading!, posted by waterlily on November 24, 2002, at 19:33:36
> "How Psychotherapy Really Works, How it Works When it Works and Why Sometimes it Doesn't" by Willard Gaylin, M.D. is a book that was mentioned on this forum a long time ago.
I'd just like to plug the new double double quotes feature:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#amazon
But I don't mean to be pushy. Did you deliberately not use it to link to Amazon? If so, I'd be interested in why, over at PBA:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20020918/msgs/7717.html
Thanks!
Bob
Posted by ShelliR on November 26, 2002, at 4:37:16
In reply to Re: double double quotes » waterlily, posted by Dr. Bob on November 26, 2002, at 3:18:51
> But I don't mean to be pushy. Did you deliberately not use it to link to Amazon? If so, I'd be interested in why, over at PBA:
>Dr. Bob,
You must know by now that many of us think that you are being *very* pushy by continuously asking for an explanation when a book recommendation is not linked to Amazon. So why do you (1) keep asking and (2) keep repeating that you do not mean to be pushy? If any group members badgered the posters like this, they were get a warning from you. I don't understand this double standard, and I don't understand
Posted by Dr. Bob on November 27, 2002, at 0:08:48
In reply to Re: double double quotes, posted by ShelliR on November 26, 2002, at 4:37:16
> why do you (1) keep asking and (2) keep repeating that you do not mean to be pushy?
Because I keep wondering and keep not meaning to be?
> If any group members badgered the posters like this, they were get a warning from you.
I don't keep "badgering" the same posters, you know... Further discussion of this should probably go to PBA, thanks.
Bob
Posted by Dinah on December 16, 2002, at 21:46:37
In reply to How Psychotherapy Really Works - good reading!, posted by waterlily on November 24, 2002, at 19:33:36
Thanks for the recommendation. It's a good book.
Posted by waterlily on December 23, 2002, at 16:40:38
In reply to I'm almost through reading it. » waterlily, posted by Dinah on December 16, 2002, at 21:46:37
I'm glad you're enjoying it. Hope it sheds some light on things for you.
> Thanks for the recommendation. It's a good book.
This is the end of the thread.
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