![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by rjlockhart37 on December 19, 2022, at 17:43:44
so, im going to post rogue, nothing to do with any other posts, but i've had to increase lithium to 600 mg again, and i've been having severe insomnia. I've gotten prayed for online many times, and it seems god works in mysterious ways. I've had to add 10mg zyrexa to 120mg latuda, with lithium before bed, and then add neruontin, its crazy and plus thesse meds, they don't seem to hit hard enough when i go into panic stages during the middle of the night. I've had to increase lithium to 900 mg daily, 300mg x 3 morning noon and night,. and its a hard ime going on. I'm soon going to get a brain scan done, to see what imbalances are going on. It's been hell, these past 4-5 weeks, it got to a point where i was going to have to be inpatient. But i prayed, and i prayed hard and got prayer online multiple times, it finally seemed to stop from going to inpatient at psych. I've never had such a bad imbalance. I pretend to be ok, but ... anyways, SPECT scan or a PET scan on the brain, at a institute or speciality doctor to determine the imbalance that started suddently 5 weeks ago. Don't know whats coming, prayer is very close to keep god near. Anyways, end of log
Posted by SLS on December 19, 2022, at 19:09:19
In reply to 5 weeks, posted by rjlockhart37 on December 19, 2022, at 17:43:44
Hi, RJ
> so, im going to post rogue
Rogue in what way?
> nothing to do with any other posts, but i've had to increase lithium to 600 mg again, and i've been having severe insomnia. I've gotten prayed for online many times, and it seems god works in mysterious ways.
He does. I just wish more people in the world could find healing with such mystery.
> I'm soon going to get a brain scan done, to see what imbalances are going on.
What kind of scan? What imbalances do you suspect that you have? I would be interested to know where you have the procedure done.
> It's been hell, these past 4-5 weeks,
How so? Worse than usual? What have you been experiencing?Is it an unfamiliar experience? If so, how do you account for it? Any changes in treatment?
I don't remember whether or not I prayed for you in the past I don't think so. I have for others.
I'll say one for you now. You've been brave for all of these years, and I admire your being able to struggle forward without a hint of pessimism. You better believe that this is an uncommon gift and a blessing.
Oops. Almost forgot to pray.
Done.
- Scott
Posted by rjlockhart37 on December 23, 2022, at 20:05:03
In reply to Re: 5 weeks » rjlockhart37, posted by SLS on December 19, 2022, at 19:09:19
things are not going so good with my doctor, its just she refuses to understand or listen to any thing i describe or tell her, and litterly she won't change any of my medcines, say go to therapy, i have been through hell for the past weeks, only relying on close prayer to god, and having others pray for me during this hellish time. I got prayer through prayer chain, intersessory prayer, i was finally able to sleep. The prayer worked, it took so long. but god's power finally healed me. But just the fact, being awake for 2-3 days and it not ne taken seriously. I've increased lithium to 600mg daily, and some days it's 900. The torment i went through for weeks, i try to forget he memory. I got on websites, and just....i prayed to jesus, i viewed pictures of him only, nightly, praying he would be with me. Prayer works, it may not work how you think, and the timing of prayer is diffrent than man's timing.
Devote prayer, at home, repent of sins, let go of unforgivenss, because jesus said you can't enter heavan with resentment in your heart, unforgivness, your heart has to be clean. And pray for your needs, during that time, go onto google and type prayer requests, you can submit prayers to churches, organizations, prayer groups. That's what i had to do. Being healed through the power of jesus, and through god's healing. I still have many things, that i need, but i finally was healed from hellish insomnnia that lasted for days. I was getting ready to check myself into psych hosoital because i thought i was losing it. I stayed in prayer, devoe, and submitted multiple, prayer requests to organizations. My doctor....the fact that was ignored, and viewed me as some kind of runt, that didnt need treatment. I'm a nice guy, i liek to be nice, and kind to people, but my doctor has treated me with me with shadey treatment, it has to go. There is something called a SPECT scan, it's a scan that reviews brain of abnormalities, and blood flow. I've heard good and bad reviews, the bad reviews is that it's not very accurate, and misdiapnoses cases. A PET scan is more reliable, its used in many study facialites and medical institutions. I'm just so sick of this, my medicdations are the following
Prozac 40mg
Gabapentin 600mg X 3 daily
Latuda 120mg nightly
Lithium 300mg X 3 daily - 900mg
Lamictal 400mg morningi'm misdiagnosed, if you remember my posts from 2005, 18 years ago, it was cognitive problems, ADHD, anxiety. I was a very much different person then. So, it's long story what happened. But lithium does stablize me, it gives a small antidepressant effect, stablization feeling. It's just being on the wrong medications, with a doctor who refuses to listen, discards any request, she lowered my prozac dose to 40, i was on 80. She got mean, and would not listen to me, that 80 helped me. So, anyways, back to what i was saying, yes get prayer, for your needs, pray at home, and get on google, and type prayer request and prayer wall, and write your needs to multiple churches and organizations and have faith. It doenst sometimes come as we ask, for it, but god works in mysterious ways, and ways we don't understand. Hopefully holding on to Jesus, and god, that he would save and provide you with your needs. Have faith, pray, let go of bitterness, resentment, unforgiveness, you can't have corruption in your heart when praying to god, let go of it. And
remember no one is you, and that is your power, you have mind and creativity of your own to accomplish what you want. You can grow with new persepctive, leave behind previous mindsets. Keep faith.
Posted by rjlockhart37 on December 24, 2022, at 3:50:33
In reply to Re: 5 weeks, posted by rjlockhart37 on December 23, 2022, at 20:05:03
When your alone, and less resources, the only thing - to do, and for hope, is pray. I've been praying these past weeks, going through hellish insomnia, and distubance in thoughts. I haven't posted here, in a long time because i was tormented, felt it wouldn't help posting. Keep praying, it will help you get through bad times. When you pray, let corruption out of your heart, when you pray. And google prayer request, and write your prayer intentions and needs. It doenst seem to be answered, and sometimes god's ways are not what we see, and expect. Just pray, and read about Jesus, he healed the sick and removed corruption out of people, and saved them. That's why there have been people healed in church revivals, being healed of illness through the power of god's goodness. Just pray, at home, devote, and have faith. That's all quick advice that i've learned from going through hellish times
Posted by rjlockhart37 on December 25, 2022, at 1:56:13
In reply to Re: 5 weeks, posted by rjlockhart37 on December 24, 2022, at 3:50:33
i wrote this post a bit manic, reading over excessive writing, and pressured speech
Posted by rjlockhart37 on December 25, 2022, at 14:33:41
In reply to Re: 5 weeks, posted by rjlockhart37 on December 25, 2022, at 1:56:13
scott i was hypomanic when i wrote his post, seems when dopamine levels are elevated, you change and do strange things. Pressured speech, with oddly writing format.
I was just trying to tell you, about prayer, that it is a hope that you can turn too. It doenst happen the way we ask, sometimes it doenst happen for a while. But it said in the bible, faith in god, and also belief in jesus christ who healed people. Just know that prayer can be a hope, to turn too.
Posted by SLS on January 6, 2023, at 16:59:59
In reply to Re: 5 weeks, posted by rjlockhart37 on December 25, 2022, at 14:33:41
> scott i was hypomanic when i wrote his post, seems when dopamine levels are elevated, you change and do strange things. Pressured speech, with oddly writing format.
>
> I was just trying to tell you, about prayer, that it is a hope that you can turn too. It doenst happen the way we ask, sometimes it doenst happen for a while. But it said in the bible, faith in god, and also belief in jesus christ who healed people. Just know that prayer can be a hope, to turn too.My praying behavior is a bit odd, I think. I can easily pray for others, but have a hard time praying for myself. As far as my Bipolar Depression is concerned, I stopped praying for a cure decades ago. I acted under the premise that He knew what I needed so desperately without my having to petition him for it. I don't get the impression that God is so narcissistic as to deny me my healing for the sake of His ego.
- Scott
Posted by undopaminergic on January 7, 2023, at 9:25:05
In reply to Re: 5 weeks » rjlockhart37, posted by SLS on January 6, 2023, at 16:59:59
>
> My praying behavior is a bit odd, I think. I can easily pray for others, but have a hard time praying for myself. As far as my Bipolar Depression is concerned, I stopped praying for a cure decades ago. I acted under the premise that He knew what I needed so desperately without my having to petition him for it. I don't get the impression that God is so narcissistic as to deny me my healing for the sake of His ego.
>
>
> - ScottIn my experience, God loves you when you're feeling good. When I'm up and active and positive, he participates in my life on an almost daily basis. When I'm down, he's nowhere to be noticed. Putting myself in his "shoes", I can understand why he likes people who are up and feeling good, and why he doesn't enjoy getting bogged down in the lives of people feeling bad. So how do you approach him when you're needy? A sense of humour probably helps, but that too can be difficult when you're down.
-undopaminergic
Posted by SLS on January 14, 2023, at 21:48:03
In reply to Re: 5 weeks » SLS, posted by undopaminergic on January 7, 2023, at 9:25:05
> >
> > My praying behavior is a bit odd, I think. I can easily pray for others, but have a hard time praying for myself. As far as my Bipolar Depression is concerned, I stopped praying for a cure decades ago. I acted under the premise that He knew what I needed so desperately without my having to petition him for it. I don't get the impression that God is so narcissistic as to deny me my healing for the sake of His ego.
> >
> >
> > - Scott
>
> In my experience, God loves you when you're feeling good. When I'm up and active and positive, he participates in my life on an almost daily basis. When I'm down, he's nowhere to be noticed. Putting myself in his "shoes", I can understand why he likes people who are up and feeling good, and why he doesn't enjoy getting bogged down in the lives of people feeling bad. So how do you approach him when you're needy? A sense of humour probably helps, but that too can be difficult when you're down.
>
> -undopaminergic
>I hope that what I'm about to say reframes things for you in a way that works better for you.
My ability to connect with my spirituality, as well as my visceral connection with God, is impaired and blocked by my depressive state. God hasn't disappeared. I have. Now that I have reappeared with the lifting of depression, I feel more connected than at any time in the past.
It's a Catch-22. When you are mentally healthy, you have the capacity to feel God, but have no need to pray for your mental health. When you are depressed is the time when you need Him most but feel Him least. God hasn't left you. Your ability to feel Him has.
For a 2-year period, I was an ultra-rapid cycler with a depressive phase lasting 8 days followed by a normothymic phase lasting 3 days. It never deviated. Not even by a day. Well, actually, it did skip the depressive phase once. I used to keep a social calendar around my cycle. Not even a day. The reason I mention this is because every 11 days, I had the opportunity to watch my spirituality come and go with the switch between mood states.
- Scott
Posted by undopaminergic on January 15, 2023, at 7:41:21
In reply to Re: 5 weeks » undopaminergic, posted by SLS on January 14, 2023, at 21:48:03
> > >
> > > My praying behavior is a bit odd, I think. I can easily pray for others, but have a hard time praying for myself. As far as my Bipolar Depression is concerned, I stopped praying for a cure decades ago. I acted under the premise that He knew what I needed so desperately without my having to petition him for it. I don't get the impression that God is so narcissistic as to deny me my healing for the sake of His ego.
> > >
> > >
> > > - Scott
> >
> > In my experience, God loves you when you're feeling good. When I'm up and active and positive, he participates in my life on an almost daily basis. When I'm down, he's nowhere to be noticed. Putting myself in his "shoes", I can understand why he likes people who are up and feeling good, and why he doesn't enjoy getting bogged down in the lives of people feeling bad. So how do you approach him when you're needy? A sense of humour probably helps, but that too can be difficult when you're down.
> >
> > -undopaminergic
> >
>
> I hope that what I'm about to say reframes things for you in a way that works better for you.
>
> My ability to connect with my spirituality, as well as my visceral connection with God, is impaired and blocked by my depressive state. God hasn't disappeared. I have. Now that I have reappeared with the lifting of depression, I feel more connected than at any time in the past.
>
> It's a Catch-22. When you are mentally healthy, you have the capacity to feel God, but have no need to pray for your mental health. When you are depressed is the time when you need Him most but feel Him least. God hasn't left you. Your ability to feel Him has.
>
> For a 2-year period, I was an ultra-rapid cycler with a depressive phase lasting 8 days followed by a normothymic phase lasting 3 days. It never deviated. Not even by a day. Well, actually, it did skip the depressive phase once. I used to keep a social calendar around my cycle. Not even a day. The reason I mention this is because every 11 days, I had the opportunity to watch my spirituality come and go with the switch between mood states.
>I see what you're saying. It is a reasonable hypothesis that God doesn't leave when you feel down, and that you just can't feel him. The question is why doesn't he speak to you in a way you're receptive to? Certainly he must have the ability. I think maybe the answer is time. God has a very different perspective on time than we do: eternity. A year of depression for us can be an instant for him, at most. Maybe he doesn't even notice we're gone for that instant -- even if he does, it wouldn't alarm him.
-undopaminergic
Posted by SLS on January 15, 2023, at 14:26:31
In reply to Re: 5 weeks » SLS, posted by undopaminergic on January 15, 2023, at 7:41:21
> > > >
> > > > My praying behavior is a bit odd, I think. I can easily pray for others, but have a hard time praying for myself. As far as my Bipolar Depression is concerned, I stopped praying for a cure decades ago. I acted under the premise that He knew what I needed so desperately without my having to petition him for it. I don't get the impression that God is so narcissistic as to deny me my healing for the sake of His ego.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > - Scott
> > >
> > > In my experience, God loves you when you're feeling good. When I'm up and active and positive, he participates in my life on an almost daily basis. When I'm down, he's nowhere to be noticed. Putting myself in his "shoes", I can understand why he likes people who are up and feeling good, and why he doesn't enjoy getting bogged down in the lives of people feeling bad. So how do you approach him when you're needy? A sense of humour probably helps, but that too can be difficult when you're down.
> > >
> > > -undopaminergic
> > >
> >
> > I hope that what I'm about to say reframes things for you in a way that works better for you.
> >
> > My ability to connect with my spirituality, as well as my visceral connection with God, is impaired and blocked by my depressive state. God hasn't disappeared. I have. Now that I have reappeared with the lifting of depression, I feel more connected than at any time in the past.
> >
> > It's a Catch-22. When you are mentally healthy, you have the capacity to feel God, but have no need to pray for your mental health. When you are depressed is the time when you need Him most but feel Him least. God hasn't left you. Your ability to feel Him has.
> >
> > For a 2-year period, I was an ultra-rapid cycler with a depressive phase lasting 8 days followed by a normothymic phase lasting 3 days. It never deviated. Not even by a day. Well, actually, it did skip the depressive phase once. I used to keep a social calendar around my cycle. Not even a day. The reason I mention this is because every 11 days, I had the opportunity to watch my spirituality come and go with the switch between mood states.
> >
>
> I see what you're saying. It is a reasonable hypothesis that God doesn't leave when you feel down, and that you just can't feel him. The question is why doesn't he speak to you in a way you're receptive to?I love your questions. Unfortunately, I can't provide answers to them. My (cop-out?) position is that I can't possibly know the Mind of God, and it is likely that no one ever has - not even Moses.
People who are well-adjusted or self-actualized are comfortable with uncertainty. I don't know where that leaves me, but I can deal with not being able to call God on my cell phone whenever I want answers from Him.
I know that our conversation here would seem out of place on Psycho-Babble, but it really isn't.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/?term=spirituality+depression&sort=relevance
> Certainly he must have the ability.I have the ability to give you all of my money, but I choose not to. You will never know why. At the very beginning of our relationship, my fiance told me that we hold God within us. I was hooked. Speaking for myself only, I actually do feel God within me. I can't define how it happens, but I do know how it feels. It is very visceral. I have learned to use "good" visceral feelings to help me distinguish between what's right for me and what's wrong for me. That includes the pondering of the mystery of existence.
As a result of my handful of drug-induced manias, I now give people a very simple instruction for how to recognize a manic state with me. If I talk to God, that does not by itself indicate mania. It's when God talks back to me that there is a problem.
> I think maybe the answer is time. God has a very different perspective on time than we do: eternity. A year of depression for us can be an instant for him, at most. Maybe he doesn't even notice we're gone for that instant -- even if he does, it wouldn't alarm him.
>
> -undopaminergic
You are big time deep. This conversation is a welcomed surprise. I suggest that God wouldn't be a true god if he has lapses in omniscience.I get the impression that you might be in the midst of an existential crisis. I understand how serious you are. I hope you find your healing in treatment with whatever works. I can all but guarantee that it will be much easier for you to come up with your own, unique answers.
Remember, you have the rest of your life to toy with ideas without having to be certain about any of them. As far as a methodology is concerned, I began with - If it feels right, it probably is. If it feels wrong, it probably is. If you feel nothing, consider giving more time to deliberate your conclusions and decisions. You may have to rely upon your skills of critical thinking. We all do.
Good luck.
- Scott
Posted by undopaminergic on January 17, 2023, at 10:57:05
In reply to Re: 5 weeks » undopaminergic, posted by SLS on January 15, 2023, at 14:26:31
> >
> > I see what you're saying. It is a reasonable hypothesis that God doesn't leave when you feel down, and that you just can't feel him. The question is why doesn't he speak to you in a way you're receptive to?
>
> I love your questions. Unfortunately, I can't provide answers to them. My (cop-out?) position is that I can't possibly know the Mind of God, and it is likely that no one ever has - not even Moses.
>I'm sure you're right about that. I don't even have a full understanding of my *own* mind.
> People who are well-adjusted or self-actualized are comfortable with uncertainty. I don't know where that leaves me, but I can deal with not being able to call God on my cell phone whenever I want answers from Him.
>I'd say I deal all right with uncertainty. I'm very curious, perhaps even pathologically so, and have an immense lust for knowledge, but not knowing does not tend to give me anxiety.
> I know that our conversation here would seem out of place on Psycho-Babble, but it really isn't.
>
> https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/?term=spirituality+depression&sort=relevance
>Well, it's not about Medication, which is the default topic. In his heyday, Dr. Bob might well have moved this to another subforum.
> > Certainly he must have the ability.
>
> I have the ability to give you all of my money, but I choose not to. You will never know why. At the very beginning of our relationship, my fiance told me that we hold God within us. I was hooked. Speaking for myself only, I actually do feel God within me. I can't define how it happens, but I do know how it feels. It is very visceral. I have learned to use "good" visceral feelings to help me distinguish between what's right for me and what's wrong for me. That includes the pondering of the mystery of existence.
>I don't really have a God-gut-feeling. Most often, I feel him when I see or experience things that I connect with him. Sometimes, it's just a thought in my mind, but it can also be a word or number that appears somewhere outside of me "just at the right time".
> As a result of my handful of drug-induced manias, I now give people a very simple instruction for how to recognize a manic state with me. If I talk to God, that does not by itself indicate mania. It's when God talks back to me that there is a problem.
>It's not necessarily a problem in itself. It's a problem when you do something stupid based on what (you think he's) telling you.
I have had many experiences where words came to me by inspiration. I didn't have to make anything up, or do anything at all really, but I do like to type them down in my diary. It can help me in times of need to revisit these passages.
That kind of experience happened a lot when I was using ethylphenidate.
> > I think maybe the answer is time. God has a very different perspective on time than we do: eternity. A year of depression for us can be an instant for him, at most. Maybe he doesn't even notice we're gone for that instant -- even if he does, it wouldn't alarm him.
> >
> > -undopaminergic
>
>
> You are big time deep. This conversation is a welcomed surprise. I suggest that God wouldn't be a true god if he has lapses in omniscience.
>The way I use (capital G) God is as a shorthand for some kind of ideal. This ideal tends to include omniscience. But sometimes there are ideals that contradict each other -- how can they all be true?
Because learning new things is so important to me, I actually felt sorry for God if indeed he knows everything and can never learn anything new. Also, assuming that was true, I admired him for not killing himself rather than having to live that way for an eternity. Maybe this period of sympathy touched him in some way, because my best experiences with him came afterwards (though not immediately). I did experience a great relief after coming to know (or believe) that he's a humorous and fun-loving sort of a guy, apparently always in a good mood.
> I get the impression that you might be in the midst of an existential crisis.
>Interesting impression. I wouldn't say I am.
> I understand how serious you are.
>I tend to take everything too seriously when I'm not at my best. I think the key is balance.
> I hope you find your healing in treatment with whatever works.
Thanks, I wish you luck in keeping that remission going!
> I can all but guarantee that it will be much easier for you to come up with your own, unique answers.
>As opposed to searching for some kind of "Guru" to give me the answers?
> Remember, you have the rest of your life to toy with ideas without having to be certain about any of them. As far as a methodology is concerned, I began with - If it feels right, it probably is. If it feels wrong, it probably is. If you feel nothing, consider giving more time to deliberate your conclusions and decisions. You may have to rely upon your skills of critical thinking. We all do.
>I sometimes followed the methodology of "if it works on rats, maybe it will work for me". I remember in particular the idea of using amantadine as augmentation for an antidepressant.
> Good luck.
>Thanks, and the same to you.
-undopaminergic
Posted by SLS on January 17, 2023, at 19:09:49
In reply to Re: 5 weeks » SLS, posted by undopaminergic on January 17, 2023, at 10:57:05
Hi, UD.
UD: > > > I see what you're saying. It is a reasonable hypothesis that God doesn't leave when you feel down, and that you just can't feel him. The question is why doesn't he speak to you in a way you're receptive to?
SLS: > > I love your questions. Unfortunately, I can't provide answers to them. My (cop-out?) position is that I can't possibly know the Mind of God, and it is likely that no one ever has - not even Moses.
UD: > I'm sure you're right about that. I don't even have a full understanding of my *own* mind.
Join the club.
> > People who are well-adjusted or self-actualized are comfortable with uncertainty. I don't know where that leaves me, but I can deal with not being able to call God on my cell phone whenever I want answers from Him.
> I'd say I deal all right with uncertainty. I'm very curious, perhaps even pathologically so, and have an immense lust for knowledge, but not knowing does not tend to give me anxiety.
Join the club.
> > I know that our conversation here would seem out of place on Psycho-Babble, but it really isn't.
> >
> > https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/?term=spirituality+depression&sort=relevance> Well, it's not about Medication, which is the default topic. In his heyday, Dr. Bob might well have moved this to another subforum.
He had quite a few different forums, including a Faith forum. They are still operation, I think. All of the forums had quite a bit of activity. There was a mass exodus of members because of one poster who Bob didn't block from posting. It was unhealthy and got very old, and the majority of posts became fights with this person. Not ejecting him was Dr. Bob's most destructive decision. That being said, he was actually a pioneer in using the Internet to provide a website that was replete with psychiatric information and active support.
Bob had archives that contained every post beginning in 2000. He had all of them posted at the top of the main page (this one). I don't know what happened, but this is all that is left:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faith/more.html#Archives
> > > Certainly he must have the ability.
> > I have the ability to give you all of my money, but I choose not to. You will never know why. At the very beginning of our relationship, my fiance told me that we hold God within us. I was hooked. Speaking for myself only, I actually do feel God within me. I can't define how it happens, but I do know how it feels. It is very visceral. I have learned to use "good" visceral feelings to help me distinguish between what's right for me and what's wrong for me. That includes the pondering of the mystery of existence.
> I don't really have a God-gut-feeling.
I won't suggest that everyone has this kind of experience - or that anyone should.
Most often, I feel him when I see or experience things that I connect with him. Sometimes, it's just a thought in my mind, but it can also be a word or number that appears somewhere outside of me "just at the right time".
>
> > As a result of my handful of drug-induced manias, I now give people a very simple instruction for how to recognize a manic state with me. If I talk to God, that does not by itself indicate mania. It's when God talks back to me that there is a problem.
> It's not necessarily a problem in itself. It's a problem when you do something stupid based on what (you think he's) telling you.I think I mentioned that very early in my relationship with my fiancee, she said that "We all hold God within us." This resonated very well with my what I believed. I never ask God the question, "Why?", even though this is what I most want to know. Why existence? Scientists make progress every day in figuring out the "how" beginning from before the Big Bang through the evolution of homo Sapiens. God has never answered any of my questions directly. However, I believe that I come to know His answers (for me) by listening to how I feel viscerally, and which answer resonates with me. It just feels "right" to me. I have faith that this is His way of communicating with me. This is why my what my fiancee saying to me that we hold God within us was so compelling to me. I never met anyone whose spiritual beliefs aligned so beautifully with my own. She captured me.
> I have had many experiences where words came to me by inspiration. I didn't have to make anything up, or do anything at all really, but I do like to type them down in my diary. It can help me in times of need to revisit these passages.I find you to be very much a "seeker". It is your nature to be curious. You absolutely lust for knowledge and understanding.
> > > I think maybe the answer is time. God has a very different perspective on time than we do: eternity. A year of depression for us can be an instant for him, at most. Maybe he doesn't even notice we're gone for that instant -- even if he does, it wouldn't alarm him.
> > You are big time deep. This conversation is a welcomed surprise. I suggest that God wouldn't be a true god if he has lapses in omniscience.
God doesn't go AWOL with you.
The way I use (capital G) God is as a shorthand for some kind of ideal. This ideal tends to include omniscience. But sometimes there are ideals that contradict each other -- how can they all be true?
I can't help but to believe that Truth *is*. There is only one. Truth is both immutable and unknowable. Uncertainty is therefore my best friend.
> Because learning new things is so important to me, I actually felt sorry for God if indeed he knows everything and can never learn anything new.
Boy, that really hit me. I need to think about this.
> Also, assuming that was true, I admired him for not killing himself rather than having to live that way for an eternity. Maybe this period of sympathy touched him in some way, because my best experiences with him came afterwards (though not immediately). I did experience a great relief after coming to know (or believe) that he's a humorous and fun-loving sort of a guy, apparently always in a good mood.
I think where I differ from Michelangelo di Lodovico Buonarroti Simoni (full name) is that I avoid the personification of God. God is not an entity. Entities have boundaries. Omnipresence does not allow for boundaries.
I am an absolute believer in a god that doesn't exist. I'll leave you with that paradox to think about on your own. I enjoy putting words together.
> > I get the impression that you might be in the midst of an existential crisis.
> Interesting impression. I wouldn't say I am.
You would know it if you were.
> > I understand how serious you are.
> I tend to take everything too seriously when I'm not at my best. I think the key is balance.
> > I hope you find your healing in treatment with whatever works.
> Thanks, I wish you luck in keeping that remission going!
Someone else in remission told me that they were always looking over their shoulder for the beast to return.
> > I can all but guarantee that it will be much easier for you to come up with your own, unique answers.
> As opposed to searching for some kind of "Guru" to give me the answers?
No guru can know you. They can only know themselves, no matter how much they may believe otherwise. Besides, it is the journey of the self that makes life so interesting. In my opinion, you have everything you need to make that journey without having someone else doing all of the driving.
> > Remember, you have the rest of your life to toy with ideas without having to be certain about any of them. As far as a methodology is concerned, I began with - If it feels right, it probably is. If it feels wrong, it probably is. If you feel nothing, consider giving more time to deliberate your conclusions and decisions. You may have to rely upon your skills of critical thinking. We all do.
> I sometimes followed the methodology of "if it works on rats, maybe it will work for me". I remember in particular the idea of using amantadine as augmentation for an antidepressant.
I didn't know that it was theory that drove the use of that drug.
> > Good luck.
> Thanks, and the same to you.
>
> -undopaminergic
- Scott
This is the end of the thread.
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