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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 1 to 5 of 5. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by mellow on November 2, 2011, at 23:26:28
So I think I may be in remission or at least close to it. I haven't thought about killing myself in at least 3 weeks so I think that is a sign that I am healing. I don't know what the hell happened to me this summer but it was the second year in a row that I just fell apart after my spring time mania.
My current cocktail is as follows:
3mg risperdal
150mg lamictal
50mg Topamax
1000mg D3
High Energy Multi VitI need to buy some more fish oil but at this point I will just get the cheap stuff and use it for cardiovascular health because I never saw much improvement of my depression with the really expensive high EPA stuff.
I have really been focusing on doing less. I found that I was spending a lot of time doing stuff I didn't necessarily want to do because it was socially expected. Now that I've lowered my expectations of what I want to achieve each day I'm feeling a lot better. Something as simple as going the dentist can be all I need to get done. Some days I just do a little school work and spend the rest of the day goofing off. If I sleep in on my day off work I don't flip out. I just get up and use what's left of the day to have fun.
It seems as though I got in a huge hurry this last year and put way too much pressure on myself. I was obsessed with productivity and refused to accept that I might just need to chill out and smell the roses. I'm considering quitting my job in August and going to school full time if the cards fall right.
I am a little worried that I'm taking 3mg of risperdal when I'm not actively psychotic but if that's a trade off to sleep as well as I do and function this well then I'm willing to take the risk associated with taking AP's. My pdoc says tardive type disorders would be odd at a 3mg dose although not impossible. I'm looking out for the signs vigilantly.
Many of you helped me immensely through these last months with your comments and I am so grateful this forum is here. I actually had to take a brief babble break and stop checking the site everyday for awhile just so I could get out of the obsessive mentality I had about my meds. I've decided I am not going to tweak my meds anymore for a long while. I'm done tapering and trying to find the magic cocktail. I accept the fact that I will take meds the rest of my life...whether or not I am organically ill or have just altered my brain chemistry and incapable of tapering them is a moot point now. I give up.
It seems odd but each time I get really sick the next phase is a little better. I learn something spiritually from each down cycle and it just feels incredible to smile today.
peace...mellow
Posted by floatingbridge on November 2, 2011, at 23:59:13
In reply to Feeling Better, posted by mellow on November 2, 2011, at 23:26:28
It's so good to hear from you and to hear you are feeling better!
Yes to peace :-)
Posted by gadchik on November 3, 2011, at 6:44:58
In reply to Re: Feeling Better » mellow, posted by floatingbridge on November 2, 2011, at 23:59:13
I love the way you are looking at life,and just to smile is the greatest! Im sending happy thoughts your way.
Posted by Phillipa on November 3, 2011, at 10:42:58
In reply to Re: Feeling Better, posted by gadchik on November 3, 2011, at 6:44:58
Congrats you have accepted yourself and your life as it is. Phillipa
Posted by Laney on November 3, 2011, at 20:19:58
In reply to Re: Feeling Better, posted by Phillipa on November 3, 2011, at 10:42:58
Awesome to hear! Thanks for sharing and best to you!
Laney
This is the end of the thread.
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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