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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by rjlockhart04-08 on September 24, 2011, at 19:29:41
Prozac 60mg
Wellbutrin 300mg
Zyprexa 20mg
Clonodine .1mg X 3 dailyand all of these medications do not have any effect at all. They all pooped out. I don't understand why I am so resistant to many meds. I was hoping they would help and im having no effect from them at all. This is so frustrating because I called my doctor and told her they where not working and left her a message about Parnate and the Daytrana patch which is basically Rililin that you patch it on to your skin. It still can be abused but it has less abuse potential than the pill form.
See all the advice I get here I'm so appricative of it but It's like I read it and then don't listen to it after im done and people have taken their own time to help me and I just avoid doing anything. That's why im so miserable because im such a passive agressive but mostly passive person. I resist things that require work. I want a pill to do it for me because it seems easy and that's a horrible mental state. I am pretty dependant on people and substances to do things for me. That's why I have been asking people to rescue me and help me get out of the misery I am but you know I don't know if I can really even help myself. I try and then give up. I get frustrated too much and then I have anxiety from my errors. I want to sleep and I can't because I want to avoid this reality I'm in and go to the dream world and live there where when your in the dream world you can make it any way you want it to. Lucid dreaming. Its fun!! but its an escape for me. I always want my dreams to get me out of the reality I live in where I am trapped at home screaming for someone to come rescue me and get me on the road to success. I depend on people too much to do it for me. I'm like a baby. I'm limited because I don't feel i have the potnetial to get where I wnat to go which is to work for Merrill Lynch and be a investment banker. That's my dream but I am so disorganized. I lose things frequently. I forget various important dates and people scold me alot for my errors. People its not easy being me I'm very limited to somethings and one of them is living life like a normal person.
I just hope someday people will understand. But they can't do anything because I have to save myself. I don't want to be sad person anymore.
Posted by zonked on September 24, 2011, at 22:04:00
In reply to I'm pretty devestated, posted by rjlockhart04-08 on September 24, 2011, at 19:29:41
Objectively, could you ask a friend how you were on stimulants before you abused them, or did you abuse them most of the time you were on them?
Were you happier, were you able to achieve some goals? How were your relationships with other people? If you work or went to school then, how did you do?
How was this doctor chosen?
If you live with your Mom, does she take you to your appointments? If that's the case, and she cares about you, would she be willing to take the paper prescription directly from the doctor and make an agreement with the doctor, initially, to give you any controlled meds for you?
I can't figure out the solution to your problems, Matt.
What I can tell you is that my life, objectively (I know this because of what other people say, not just how I feel) is 1000% better than before I started feeling better *this time* (my depression is recurrent), and that wouldn't have been possible without some chemical assistance. Not in my case.
You know, I know, we all know that, in Affective Disorders treated with medication, medication is often the biggest piece of the puzzle but does not alone make for a fulfilling life; it just corrects errant biology. I think you know no med alone is going to make life complete, you said it yourself in different words.
Are you still taking 20mg Zyprexa? As Christ_Empowered said, that is a LOT of Zyprexa. It could be blocking the other meds from working. Are you depressed; do you know what depression IS?
What is it that you're expecting the meds to do for you? I understand about losing things, I have ADD-inattentive myself and (currently) am not taking meds for it, but my ADD improves when the depression goes away and may not be as severe as yours, if that's what you have.
I think for babble to be of any help, we would need to know a little bit more of your history:
1. When were you first put on psychiatric medication and for what?
2. Was it you, or a parent or teacher that initiated the contact with a doctor?
3. Do you remember feeling like you needed medicine at the time or did you start taking meds because your parents thought it was a good idea?
4. What are your moods like throughout a typical day, week, month?
5. If getting on meds was your parents' choice, what was it they thought that you had? If it was yours, what brought you into the doctor's office? Did you feel sad a lot for no reason? Were you anxious? Had you tried ADD drugs illicitly and they resolved some symptoms or made you feel better?
6. Do you have any close friends - ones you can trust to tell you the truth, not just tell you what you want to hear - and think carefully - and if so, what is their opinion on your predicament?
Here's where I get stuck ethically. I think you need some strong guidance and good, professional advice; maybe a little bit more help than some people on Babble might. Don't take that personally. I am not a professional. It's easy for me to weigh in quickly when I feel as though someone has the basics of their symptoms and disorder down, but we just know fragmented bits and pieces and your history is complicated by substance abuse.
What did your Mom say, what does your doctor say; if you've posed the idea about having her take the paper script and doling out your pills/patch whatever, for a trial of a stimulant?
Severe unmedicated ADD can be a nightmare that can cause secondary depression that can also be a nightmare.
Here's what might help us help you, and it's easy. When you go into the doctor next time, whether you believe her or not (and this is your RIGHT as an adult), ask her what your diagnoses are.
Write this down or print it:
1. What diagnoses are noted (if applicable) on Axis I?
2. What diagnoses are noted (if applicable) on Axis II?
3. Is there anything noted on Axis III?
4. Is there anything noted on Axis IV?
5. What is your "GAF" score on Axis V? What is the highest the past year?
Axis I includes notes clinical disorders like depression, bipolar disorder, ADHD; and sometimes their severity of the state the disorder is in, as well as its chronicity.
Axis II includes personality disorders (basically, problems with one's personality that impede usual functioning in which the person often fails to acknowledge there is anything wrong with themselves; resistance to change and iron-cast ways of thinking.)
It also includes things like Autism and mental retardation.
Axis III includes general medical health conditions that may be contributing to a mental health problem; like Parkinson's or stroke, cancer, Lyme disease and many other things.
Axis IV includes any psychosocial/situational problems that might be contributing to the mental health problem - like homelessness, family problems, money problems, divorce, job problems
Axis V is a sort of how you're doing overall scale, where 0 is the worst and 100 is the best (nobody gets 100. Not even people with no history of mental illness.) This isn't something you can take to another doctor and say: "See she gave me a 50, I must be doing awful!" I think this is mostly useful so a doctor can keep track of your history with a scale that makes sense to him or her.
For example:
If you ask how I'm doing on a scale of 0 to 100, I might say 75; my doctor might say 80; and my best friend might say 90. This isn't too important except to see how this number has changed, with the same doctor, over time.
What these numbers are could help us help you. "Low processing speed" isn't a diagnosis and your doctor knows this.
And anyone else around, do you think I'm helping Matt? I feel really bad for you dude.
-z
> Prozac 60mg
> Wellbutrin 300mg
> Zyprexa 20mg
> Clonodine .1mg X 3 daily
>
> and all of these medications do not have any effect at all. They all pooped out. I don't understand why I am so resistant to many meds. I was hoping they would help and im having no effect from them at all. This is so frustrating because I called my doctor and told her they where not working and left her a message about Parnate and the Daytrana patch which is basically Rililin that you patch it on to your skin. It still can be abused but it has less abuse potential than the pill form.
>
> See all the advice I get here I'm so appricative of it but It's like I read it and then don't listen to it after im done and people have taken their own time to help me and I just avoid doing anything. That's why im so miserable because im such a passive agressive but mostly passive person. I resist things that require work. I want a pill to do it for me because it seems easy and that's a horrible mental state. I am pretty dependant on people and substances to do things for me. That's why I have been asking people to rescue me and help me get out of the misery I am but you know I don't know if I can really even help myself. I try and then give up. I get frustrated too much and then I have anxiety from my errors. I want to sleep and I can't because I want to avoid this reality I'm in and go to the dream world and live there where when your in the dream world you can make it any way you want it to. Lucid dreaming. Its fun!! but its an escape for me. I always want my dreams to get me out of the reality I live in where I am trapped at home screaming for someone to come rescue me and get me on the road to success. I depend on people too much to do it for me. I'm like a baby. I'm limited because I don't feel i have the potnetial to get where I wnat to go which is to work for Merrill Lynch and be a investment banker. That's my dream but I am so disorganized. I lose things frequently. I forget various important dates and people scold me alot for my errors. People its not easy being me I'm very limited to somethings and one of them is living life like a normal person.
>
> I just hope someday people will understand. But they can't do anything because I have to save myself. I don't want to be sad person anymore.
Posted by Phillipa on September 25, 2011, at 0:01:37
In reply to Re: I'm pretty devestated » rjlockhart04-08, posted by zonked on September 24, 2011, at 22:04:00
What a great set of questions. Phillipa
Posted by rjlockhart04-08 on September 25, 2011, at 0:09:25
In reply to Re: I'm pretty devestated » rjlockhart04-08, posted by zonked on September 24, 2011, at 22:04:00
Oh my...this is very long note!!! well let me get started. I'm going to list your question with <<<blah>>> and then I will respond to them with a response sign
- like this....
Let's get started.
<<<Were you happier, were you able to achieve some goals? How were your relationships with other people? If you work or went to school then, how did you do?>>>
-When I was taking stimulants?? I took stimulants for many years and at the end is when I abused them for the self confident euphoric effect they gave me. I did pretty good. Exept at the end of high school i broke down even thought I was taking adderall...still i cried myself to sleep. I hate school. Now when the early years like middle school and early high I did very well with my grades and progressed with sports [cross country and track] but that was before my true addiction manifested. Addiction brings you to very low points of life. I still suffer everyday with addiction in my thoughts. Now stimulnats do increase my concentration but if abused they lower the quality of life to where the only thing you look forward to is the next buzz of self confidence and euphoria. Before this, I didnt have problems at all with taking my medcaiton correctly.
______________________________________________<<<Were you happier, were you able to achieve some goals?>>>
Yes. I had many goals. Top school. Top of the class. I had everything going for me until the idiot got in the way. People think im blaming my mother but she contributed and I want to get even with this situation. I've thought of everything to get even like reading voodoo spells to inflict sickness. I don't want to lower my self that low to do something like that. I just want to get even. I want revenge and the only way I can get it is if im successful in my life and rise above my problems and people that are in the way blocking success.____________________________________________
<<<How were your relationships with other people>>>
It went very well. I had many friends. I usally made the jokes and did annoying things to piss people off like making noises and comments that where just dumb...i ment to be dumb to piss people off. Some people loved me and other hated me. I didnt care I just was who I was. I enjoy being who I was until addiction came into my life._________________________________________________
<<<If you work or went to school then, how did you do?>>>
I did very well until the 11th grade. I was a highly motivated person who dedicated himself to work. I made great grades I just lost that passion when I went off stimulnats. That's when addiction came into my life when I was 17. I started to abuse and abuse people that lived around me. If I knew this horrible day I'm living was going to happen. I would of changed my actions very quickly. BUT consequences catch up with people and they got me for what I did and forced me to tell people what my addiction had done to me.
___________________________________
<<<How was this doctor chosen?>>>
I met her at the rehab I went to. Sundown Ranch is the name of the rehab. here she is:
http://www.santecenter.com/about/staff/index.html?staff_id=2
My previous doctors that prescibed me stimulants where thought insurance connections.
__________________________________________
<<<If you live with your Mom, does she take you to your appointments?>>>
Yes. She comes in every time. And I don't know why I let her in but she's the one who admisters my medication. This is also the idiot that destroyed my life. Put an "I" on your forehead and know what it stands for: my mother. I am so fed up with her I could just punch her but then I would have deal with assault charges and I don't want to go through the legal system of Jail.__________________________________________
<<<If that's the case, and she cares about you, would she be willing to take the paper prescription directly from the doctor and make an agreement with the doctor, initially, to give you any controlled meds for you?>>>
- MY mother??? no way the only thing she's here for is to make sure im miserable and cause heartache in my life. I hate her and I want to get even but I don't wnat to do something violent because that won't get my anywhere and telling people will not help. I want to get AWAY FROM this. Because most of my dependance disorders came from her influence. She always yells. Ungrateful. I hate her. I hate talking about her. She's bad news.
____________________________________________<<<Are you still taking 20mg Zyprexa? As Christ_Empowered said, that is a LOT of Zyprexa. It could be blocking the other meds from working. Are you depressed; do you know what depression IS?>>>
Zyprexa stopped having any effect on me a couple months ago along with all meds I take. It is alot of zyprexa and i have gaind alot of weight from it. My doctor wants me try latunda. I am depressed sometimes when I think of my life and what I havent done with it. Depression is lack of intrest in things that used to be interesting and overall low qality of life from low mood. Low motivation. Social withdrawl and self pity.
____________________________________________
<<<What is it that you're expecting the meds to do for you?>>>
-For them to work and improve my mood in the fist place. They do nothing their sugar pills that have no effect on them. I keep telling people this and ... their like "ok" and then ask the same question over again. It's very frustrating.
___________________________________________1. When were you first put on psychiatric medication and for what?
-Ritilin. ADHD 19972. Was it you, or a parent or teacher that initiated the contact with a doctor?
-my bible teacher 6th grade class. Was concerned that their was verbal abuse going on at home and refered me to a counslor and eventally back to a doctor.3. Do you remember feeling like you needed medicine at the time or did you start taking meds because your parents thought it was a good idea?
-I started taking because my mother said it would help. It took about 5 years until it turned into the addiction nightmare.
4. What are your moods like throughout a typical day, week, month?
-low and frustrated. I was always in a frustated mood when I was a kid because i didnt measure up to people's expectations and lost stuff quite frequnetly. I eventaully got used to all this chaos because it appears to still be apart of my life today.
5. If getting on meds was your parents' choice, what was it they thought that you had? If it was yours, what brought you into the doctor's office? Did you feel sad a lot for no reason? Were you anxious? Had you tried ADD drugs illicitly and they resolved some symptoms or made you feel better?
-Meds where my parents choice. My mother went with me into the doctors office and told them of what was happening. She had no problem with adderall back then but after I abused it she always said no ever since I got off it.
6. Do you have any close friends - ones you can trust to tell you the truth, not just tell you what you want to hear - and think carefully - and if so, what is their opinion on your predicament?
-i have few friends. I don't like to tell people whats going on. Expect when I'm here on the boards.There you go. I hope you know me a bit better now.
Keep up in contacted zonk
Matt
Posted by morgan miller on September 25, 2011, at 12:40:57
In reply to Re: I'm pretty devestated » rjlockhart04-08, posted by zonked on September 24, 2011, at 22:04:00
Hey, sorry you're not doing well.
I think your regimen might benefit from some adjustments. Like Zonk said, 20m Zyprexa may be too high.
What is your diagnosis again?
What other antidepressants have you tried?
When you are feeling better, are you cleaning up your diet, exercising, socializing, and working? These can all play a role in recovery and staying better. If we are not active in these areas, we may more easily fall back into the hole.
Ever tried a 300 or 600 mg dose of lithium? How about extended release Lithium, Lithobid?
Morgan
Posted by jono_in_adelaide on September 25, 2011, at 22:43:03
In reply to I'm pretty devestated, posted by rjlockhart04-08 on September 24, 2011, at 19:29:41
RJ
what exactly is your diagnosis?
Posted by jono_in_adelaide on September 25, 2011, at 22:48:31
In reply to Re: awnser to all questions, posted by rjlockhart04-08 on September 25, 2011, at 0:09:25
The rason I ask is because depression due to persionality disorder is in general less responsive to antidepressant drugs than endrogenous (I know I spelled that wrong) depression
Posted by Zyprexa on September 26, 2011, at 0:07:25
In reply to Re: awnser to all questions, posted by rjlockhart04-08 on September 25, 2011, at 0:09:25
Have you tried seeing a therapist about your problems with your mom? That might help with the what to do also. You would have to go to the appt. without your mom in the room. Do you currently go to therapy? Maybe the threpist would support some kind of meds, like adderall. Which ADHD meds did you abuse? Was it Ritilin, Adderal, Vyvanse, all of them, or just some of them. If you could find one that you do not abuse, maybe that would help. Which ones did you take and when did the abuse start, what were you taking?
Posted by jane d on September 26, 2011, at 0:17:20
In reply to Re: awnser to all questions, posted by jono_in_adelaide on September 25, 2011, at 22:48:31
> The rason I ask is because depression due to persionality disorder is in general less responsive to antidepressant drugs than endrogenous (I know I spelled that wrong) depression
And how do you know it's due to a personality disorder? Oh, because it doesn't respond to antidepressants. Hmm. There seems to be a problem in there somewhere.
Posted by 10derheart on September 26, 2011, at 1:32:33
In reply to Re: awnser to all questions » jono_in_adelaide, posted by jane d on September 26, 2011, at 0:17:20
Hi Jane,
The way I read this is that jono does **not** know it's a PD. S/he does not know what Matt's diagnoses are and is wondering IF something he's been dx'd with might be a PD.
Jono might be wondering since lately Matt has repeatedly stressed that none of his meds (including ADs) work at all. I have definitely long heard that if a PD is involved, therapy (which best I can tell from past posts is not happening) is even more critical to tx.
Or maybe I am making no sense. It happens.
Posted by jono_in_adelaide on September 26, 2011, at 2:38:34
In reply to Re: awnser to all questions » jane d, posted by 10derheart on September 26, 2011, at 1:32:33
Thats what i was getting at, some types of depression respond better to drug therapy than others, and I was wondering what RJ's diagnosis was, as I've never seen him mention it.
This is the end of the thread.
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