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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by lepus on July 3, 2011, at 14:59:15
In reply to Re: Encouragement - Emsam » floatingbridge, posted by floatingbridge on July 3, 2011, at 12:10:43
Yes, my doctor is available by phone. She gave me her personal cell number.
The patch has landed...on my arm. It's about a fourth of a patch. Hard to divide it up evenly, especially when the sides are rounded. So, I have a rectangular shaped patch on my upper arm.
And I'm nervous as heck. I'm trying to work on some stuff for school to keep my mind off it but I know every twitch is going to send me into panic. This is so ridiculous. I long for the old me. I thought medications could be fun. They were also a shot at feeling so much better. I guess this one is too but too many times starting the medication has meant feeling even worse.
Thank you for all your help, FB. Let's hope this is a solution to this long nightmare.
I will keep remembering you thought it was gentle. I need gentle so desperately.
Posted by lepus on July 3, 2011, at 15:57:26
In reply to Re: Encouragement - Emsam, posted by lepus on July 3, 2011, at 14:59:15
Ugh. Had an anxiety bump about 50 minutes after putting the patch on. I am fighting through it. Probably psychological, right? I mean it is a 1/4th of a patch!
Posted by floatingbridge on July 3, 2011, at 16:34:46
In reply to Re: Encouragement - Emsam, posted by lepus on July 3, 2011, at 15:57:26
Well, like I said, I had to 911 some babblers here when I started up. So you can post to this thread at the very least or babblemail me if you want 24/7. I imagine others here don't mind, either. I got alot of support.
I think I really get the hyper vigilance piece and the onset of anxiety for any/no reason.
That all said, I don't know if this med will work for you, but in the general scheme of medicines and as a consumer :-) I think of emsam as gentle. That's why it doesn't really always rate around here as a good AD for some folks.
You're going to be o.k. I am very glad you have your doc's cell. I would think she wouldn't prescribe it if she thought it was a danger. She's probably knows how med sensitive you can be.
Do you have a panic med? Klonopin?
Anytime, Lepus. You're o.k.
:-)
fb
Posted by Lepus on July 3, 2011, at 17:07:54
In reply to Re: Encouragement - Emsam » lepus, posted by floatingbridge on July 3, 2011, at 16:34:46
I do have a panic med. I have both Klinopin and Ativan. I think I even have an old bottle of Xanax around ere somewhere. I think I have a med cabinet to knock out a horse. Luckily I'm not suicidal.
I'm undecided about babblemail. I feel it is good to have a record of the experience that might help others but then I might also need to talk to you more personally. Ugh. I just need my hand held through this.
Right now I'm a bit sleepy and irritable. Been doing accounting homework, so not sure if it is a side effect of the med or the homework!
Thank you, FB. Your kindness is very appreciated.
Posted by lepus on July 3, 2011, at 18:37:55
In reply to Re: Encouragement - Emsam, posted by Lepus on July 3, 2011, at 17:07:54
How does this patch work anyway? Does the medicine enter the bloodstream at a continuous rate, cross the blood brain barrier and then do its magic? I wonder if what I felt was the meds crossing the BBB?
It does make me feel a bit better knowing I could stop the drug just by ripping off the patch, but then I'm not sure that is how it works.
Posted by floatingbridge on July 3, 2011, at 18:57:57
In reply to Re: Encouragement - Emsam, posted by lepus on July 3, 2011, at 18:37:55
> How does this patch work anyway? Does the medicine enter the bloodstream at a continuous rate, cross the blood brain barrier and then do its magic? I wonder if what I felt was the meds crossing the BBB?
Well, it is supposed to enter continuously. The BBB is over my head. :-/
Exposure to hot water (a shower is o.k.), excessive heat from a heating pad *directly on the patch*, or a blazing hot prolonged exposure to sun (which sounds awful to me) can speed the delivery. I experienced this only after I went into a hot tub and heated pool like
a dodo bird. But again, the intensity remitted. The response in my own case was delayed, not immediate. So it took me a few minutes to think back and say, hmmm, it was the pool. Like 12-24 hours later. Everyone is different.Likewise, removing the patch. It will *slowly* tone it down. But I think that's good for me because I do best with slow ascent and descent. But let's say I felt like I could feel the descent begin within the hour, and that was enough to reassure me. Me and a xanax :-/
>
> It does make me feel a bit better knowing I could stop the drug just by ripping off the patch, but then I'm not sure that is how it works.
Posted by lepus on July 3, 2011, at 19:30:08
In reply to Re: Encouragement - Emsam » lepus, posted by floatingbridge on July 3, 2011, at 18:57:57
I think the psychological response to knowing the patch is off might be enough to calm frayed nerves. Well, at least for me. I really don't know anymore how much of my reactions are actually reactions or are me being a Nervous Nelly.
I do sunbathe since I have low Vit D levels. I hope that won't be a problem. I don't do it in excessive heat but I do get right in the light.
With most drugs you know their half life, how long they take to kick in, how long they'll be in your system, etc. I don't see any of that info for Emsam? Does anyone else? Scott?
Posted by lepus on July 3, 2011, at 19:37:52
In reply to Re: Encouragement - Emsam, posted by lepus on July 3, 2011, at 19:30:08
Found the half life. It is about 18 to 25 hours. Long...
Posted by Phillipa on July 3, 2011, at 20:49:40
In reply to Re: Encouragement - Emsam, posted by lepus on July 3, 2011, at 19:37:52
I feel as you that it's comforting to know you can see the actual patch gone and know that slowly the med is leaving your system. And that it does bypass gastrointestional system and hepatic first pass. Phillipa
Posted by lepus on July 3, 2011, at 22:51:40
In reply to Re: Encouragement - Emsam » lepus, posted by Phillipa on July 3, 2011, at 20:49:40
> I feel as you that it's comforting to know you can see the actual patch gone and know that slowly the med is leaving your system. And that it does bypass gastrointestional system and hepatic first pass. Phillipa
Right. Even though I know it isn't going to leave my system immediately should I have an issue, there is a certain psychological comfort in tearing off the patch and pitching it.
I have not ripped it off though. Today has gone fairly smoothly, but then I'm on a baby amount. I hope dosage increases go smoothly as well. :fingers crossed:
Posted by Phillipa on July 4, 2011, at 0:26:36
In reply to Re: Encouragement - Emsam, posted by lepus on July 3, 2011, at 22:51:40
I feel that means a lot as once was going to try it and that was so comforting. Have a scientific mind and have to see to believe. Don't forget toe crossing also!!!! Phillipa
Posted by Lepus on July 4, 2011, at 4:06:07
In reply to Re: Encouragement - Emsam » lepus, posted by Phillipa on July 4, 2011, at 0:26:36
Think I might need to cross a few more things in the hopes this will work. Woke up to a nocturnal panic attack tonight. Not sure if it is due to the EMSAM or not. I have been having more of them lately.
Not happy. I feel like I'm being tortured lately. I just want it to end. Please.
Posted by floatingbridge on July 4, 2011, at 7:26:06
In reply to Re: Encouragement - Emsam, posted by Lepus on July 4, 2011, at 4:06:07
Lepus,
The nocturnal attacks appeared before emsam?
Do you ever write stuff down? Like took what when and symptoms like panic episodes? You probably do. It's a good tool and frees up my mind.
> Think I might need to cross a few more things in the hopes this will work. Woke up to a nocturnal panic attack tonight. Not sure if it is due to the EMSAM or not. I have been having more of them lately.
>
> Not happy. I feel like I'm being tortured lately. I just want it to end. Please.
Posted by Lepus on July 4, 2011, at 7:26:32
In reply to Re: Encouragement - Emsam, posted by Lepus on July 4, 2011, at 4:06:07
Patch is off. I just woke up again to ridiculous anxiety.
I don't understand. I was only on 1/4th of a patch. But this has to be more than mere coincidence now, surely? I'm a nervous wreck!
Now what...
Posted by floatingbridge on July 4, 2011, at 7:40:37
In reply to Re: Encouragement - Emsam, posted by Lepus on July 4, 2011, at 7:26:32
> Patch is off. I just woke up again to ridiculous anxiety.
>
> I don't understand. I was only on 1/4th of a patch. But this has to be more than mere coincidence now, surely? I'm a nervous wreck!
>
> Now what...Lepus, I'm sorry. Did you ever look at any of my multiple emsam threads? My patch was off and on countless times
:- / I know I drove everyone nuts. I felt nuts starting up.I don't want to tell you what to do. That wouldn't be right. Keep me posted if you will. I'll be here no matter what you decide.
Myself, I still wake early from some intense dream, but my sleep time is lengthening a bit. Today was 4:30 am. That's good for me.
Hang in there whatever you decide.
Posted by Lepus on July 4, 2011, at 8:01:51
In reply to Re: Encouragement - Emsam » Lepus, posted by floatingbridge on July 4, 2011, at 7:40:37
I do recall several of your start up threads. I thought the anxiety was mostly your thyroid though?
I don't think I can handle waking up every night to that kind of anxiety. I woke up twice in a panic!
I don't understand. I feel doomed now. I don't know what is left for me to try.
Posted by Lepus on July 4, 2011, at 8:12:35
In reply to Re: Encouragement - Emsam » Lepus, posted by floatingbridge on July 4, 2011, at 7:26:06
The nocturnal panic attacks were there before the EMSAM. I had an incident on Thursday when I was in the hospital. This attack felt different though. More difficulty breathing.
I am not a journaler and I regret it, especially since all my previous doctors seem to have retired or they won't release my records no matter how many times I request them and fill out the necessary forms. Seems they just don't even have them anymore. I don't know.
> Lepus,
> Z
> The nocturnal attacks appeared before emsam?
>
> Do you ever write stuff down? Like took what when and symptoms like panic episodes? You probably do. It's a good tool and frees up my mind.
>
>
> > Think I might need to cross a few more things in the hopes this will work. Woke up to a nocturnal panic attack tonight. Not sure if it is due to the EMSAM or not. I have been having more of them lately.
> >
> > Not happy. I feel like I'm being tortured lately. I just want it to end. Please.
>
>
Posted by floatingbridge on July 4, 2011, at 8:14:37
In reply to Re: Encouragement - Emsam, posted by Lepus on July 4, 2011, at 8:01:51
What kind of panic (symptoms) you experiencing?
And I'm curious when you started emsam. Yesterday (Sat) or Friday?
I was told I could take my patch off about an hour before bed.
I hope you don't feel pushed here. I'm just trying to listen and be steady.
Posted by floatingbridge on July 4, 2011, at 8:28:52
In reply to Re: Encouragement - Emsam, posted by Lepus on July 4, 2011, at 8:12:35
If it might help, you could start with the hospital and go forward. Maybe not a journal; more like an outline. Very dry. Likes 7/3 removed 1/4 patch emsam. Anxiety episode nocturnal, then note qualities physical and cognitive (I thought________. ) I feel better myself having a written record, because when I panic, my thinking brain goes tilt. It shuts down. So I can't recall with reliability when I did what or took what :-/
I don't know. It helps when talking to a doctor, too. I had to go to the urgent care on Friday, and I wrote a very short list of dates down just in case he asked (he didn't ). When I look at the list, or even write stuff, I can sometimes feel more steady. It's as close to 'facts' as I can get.
Please try not to despair. Anxiety is awful. It is hell. But you sound lucid. That's big imo.
> The nocturnal panic attacks were there before the EMSAM. I had an incident on Thursday when I was in the hospital. This attack felt different though. More difficulty breathing.
>
> I am not a journaler and I regret it, especially since all my previous doctors seem to have retired or they won't release my records no matter how many times I request them and fill out the necessary forms. Seems they just don't even have them anymore. I don't know.
>
> > Lepus,
> > Z
> > The nocturnal attacks appeared before emsam?
> >
> > Do you ever write stuff down? Like took what when and symptoms like panic episodes? You probably do. It's a good tool and frees up my mind.
> >
> >
> > > Think I might need to cross a few more things in the hopes this will work. Woke up to a nocturnal panic attack tonight. Not sure if it is due to the EMSAM or not. I have been having more of them lately.
> > >
> > > Not happy. I feel like I'm being tortured lately. I just want it to end. Please.
> >
> >
>
>
Posted by Lepus on July 4, 2011, at 12:37:53
In reply to Re: Encouragement - Emsam » Lepus, posted by floatingbridge on July 4, 2011, at 8:14:37
I started EMSAM yesterday, which was Sunday. I started it around 3pm. The anxiety hit me about 3:30am I think? Maybe 2:30am. I can't quite remember. I had the typical panic attack. Heart was racing, trouble breathing, sweaty, feeling unreal, etc. For me it feels like I have an angry hornet's nest inside my chest after the initial attack leaves. That is how I feel now. I'm not necessarily panicking anymore but I am anxious.
But when I woke up to panic, I got some ice water and took a Klonopin, then waited it out. I got to sleep around 5am. Then I woke up again to panic and ripped the patch off. Then after I ripped the patch off I woke up again panicking. That time it felt like I woke up because I wasn't breathing. I really gasped when I awoke.
That's about it. I have no idea what is up. The Klonopin doesn't really seem to help very much. I have Ativan but frankly I think the Klonopin works better. Ativan seems to leave me tired and still panicky.
I'm so screwed.
Posted by Lepus on July 4, 2011, at 12:40:43
In reply to Re: Encouragement - Emsam » Lepus, posted by floatingbridge on July 4, 2011, at 8:28:52
I guess I've never been much of a journaler because I usually remember everything. So before major appointments or times when I might have to remember specifics under pressure, I make notes for myself.
Posted by floatingbridge on July 4, 2011, at 13:31:27
In reply to Re: Encouragement - Emsam, posted by Lepus on July 4, 2011, at 12:40:43
> I guess I've never been much of a journaler because I usually remember everything. So before major appointments or times when I might have to remember specifics under pressure, I make notes for myself.
Well that's great you can keep it all in your head :-)I had a very bad episode on Friday. I was already not doing well, and was forced to leave the house on an errand (w/o my child, so no worries there.) My fright was so extreme that I kept forgetting the address and place where I had been before. I live in a small town, like one main street, so, you can see how bad that was.
My husband gave me an emergency xanax the next day. I was then able to go to the urgent care and request a stop gap of xanax. In order to calm myself-
-you know, in the examine room where you wait after the waiting room--I forced myself to write a list of stop and start dates for meds. Holy cr*p. It felt like a month had gone by, but only two weeks since my last benzodiazapine (?). It had been Ativan, and my memory of Ativan was that it did not really hit that panic spot. The urgent care doctor gave me a little xanax. It was so bad though, I couldn't look at him. I was stuttering and petrified but much better than the non-stop Friday event. I found myself
covering my eyes while I was talking to him. I know I am just blabbing on here.
But I could barely talk or look at him or any stranger. I knew enough to apologize. The doc was like, that's o.k.
that's part of the anxiety.So, about your other post, ativan would not cut panic for me unless it was an astronomical (relative to me) amount.
Klonopin worked very deeply on anxiety for me as maintenance. But for an acute
episode, well, I would find it better than
nothing for myself.There just has to be ways to shush that panic button. It cannot be healthy to endure. That's something else *not* to panic about :-/
Does your doctor know the frequency
and quality of your episodes?
Posted by lepus on July 4, 2011, at 13:35:16
In reply to Re: Encouragement - Emsam » Lepus, posted by floatingbridge on July 4, 2011, at 7:40:37
Do you have any links to your Emsam threads? I don't see a lot of them when I search for Emsam.
Posted by floatingbridge on July 4, 2011, at 13:43:00
In reply to Re: Encouragement - Emsam, posted by lepus on July 4, 2011, at 13:35:16
Crumbs. No, not good on the computer.
What about searching my screen name, floatingbridge?
Wait, archives for this May and June?
Don't expect to much info, but if it helps to see how flipping desperate I was....
I'll try to hunt up some thread names.
Nothing comes up from searching emsam? Hmmmm.
Posted by Lepus on July 4, 2011, at 20:52:18
In reply to Re: Encouragement - Emsam » Lepus, posted by floatingbridge on July 4, 2011, at 13:31:27
I'm sorry to hear you're having such a hard time too and having to go to urgent care.
I think I have been on benzos too long. None of them really destroy the panic like they used to. Is that where you are now or are you having some dependency issues?
My doctor knows I'm suffering. Maybe she doesn't know quite how badly. I'm not sure how to get that across to anyone. The fact that I willingly checked myself into a hospital should be a decent clue. I didn't call her today. It is a holiday and what can she do anyway. I don't think there is anything left to do.
Honestly I'm starting to get suicidal but where do I go? Back to the hospital that victimized me? Forget it. I just can't believe this. I fight and fight and I'm getting nowhere.
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