![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Enigma on October 10, 2010, at 16:13:51
Looking for anything to improve my mood, no matter how little.
Sick of taking MAOI's, and they all pretty much stopped working anyway.
I'm pretty much bedridden most days, and my idiot doctors (the last 3) pretty much told me (well, that's exactly what they told me), that they can't help me (that I've tried everything they would have suggested). Therapists too. They don't even want to try older meds I've tried, just for the hell of it.I'm in suicidal hell every day, but resist the urge because I'm the sole income for my family, and more importantly, I don't want to devastate my family, especially my kids (my wife and I are separated and she'll get over it more easily than my kids will).
Is there anything new out there? SSRI's usually have no effect on me, and tricyclics usually make me psychotic (violently psychotic). I've tried just about every thing already, and atypical anti-psychotics too (which I either gain horrible weight from and get diskinesia? from, which can turn permanent, and then I can't sleep, not like I can now, so no thanks to those..).
There's gotta be something new I haven't tried yet. I'm fairly desperate.
Depression has stolen ALL my interests, and I can't watch tv, movies, play video games, enjoy spending time with my kids, go outside, basically, anything. I don't have any friends (anymore - they were all selfish assholes anyway, and of course, no love interest). It's hard to sleep, or even nap. Immune to Klonopin now (max dose), again, which used to help a little (for sleep).
Now I'm hypo-manic and depressed at the same time (which is new for me), so it's sorta like lying down, and being given a slideshow (at 100 miles an hour) of every depressing thing that's every happened in my life (and there's TONS of material to work with), and I can't stop it from happening. It's like a nightmare that won't end. I try to think positive thoughts, but they are immediately wiped out by negative ones.
I refuse to go to the hospital. Been there twice, and couldn't wait to get back out. I have my reasons. Long story short, it's makes me WORSE being there, not better.. they've never HELPED me one bit being there. It's more like prison than anything else.
I need to hold on at least until I see if I get accepted to this DBS study I have applied for. I am at the stage where I am signing waivers to get my medical records released to them, but that could take weeks, and getting through just one day to the next is an almost impossible battle. I used to have good days here and there, but not any more. They are all bad.
I'm in agony all day. I wish I could be put into an medically induced coma, to be perfectly honest. The mental anguish is unbearable. It's never been this bad in 10 years of severe depression. I was always able to at least enjoy something, until just the last few months when Nardil quit on me, and even Selegeline failed to provide any positive effect. Parnate never worked, and I don't know if I ever tried Marplan? (is that the name)?
No idea what do it. It breaks my hear to leave my children in poverty and by killing myself, but I can't endure the pain anymore. My chronic stomach pains mostly have gone away (if you saw my other posts), but my headaches have only lost 1/2 their strength. At least without the MAOI's I can try sinus meds to see if that's what's causing them. I get sinus infections about once a year, but for some reason, i don't think that's what's going on. I think it's the stress of constantly worrying about dying.
Before anyone mentions the obvious, like taking a walk, exercise, and so on.. I can barely get the energy to eat, let alone do anything like that. I can't even mow my lawn. I don't even want to go outside. I'm still to emotional to try to meet people, and I've been down that road many times before, all resulting in failure. People don't care. I met 1 person who does in 5 years and she lives 4 hours away. I can't even go over her house and see her in person, plus, she's got her own issues and doesn't need to deal with mine. My best friend from childhood is the only one left and he lives 1000 miles away. That doesn't help. I'm done trying to make friends. I always end up getting hurt and let down. And women? Forget that. Dating sites for a year and nothing to show for it besides pain. Mind numbing pain and rejection. Never found more vain and shallow women in my life, no matter what site, pay or free, and I'm in great shape, 41, and actually above average looking. Doesn't matter to them.
Ok, too much information..
Posted by linkadge on October 10, 2010, at 18:36:53
In reply to Are there any new AD's out?, posted by Enigma on October 10, 2010, at 16:13:51
no, there are no new antidepressants.
I hear your situation. Doctors *should* be open to trying new treatments, even if it just gives the illusion of hope.
Just a side question...which TCAs did you try? You are able to take MAOI's with not psychotic reaction? Hmm.
I would recomend a medication washout. I know, its probably the last thing on your mind, but I find when nothing works, "nothing" often works better.
If you're not working, perhaps a course of sleep deprivation?...followed with lithium?
Linkadge
Posted by Maxime on October 10, 2010, at 18:40:32
In reply to Are there any new AD's out?, posted by Enigma on October 10, 2010, at 16:13:51
There are probably no new meds for you to try but maybe there are combos that you haven't tried. Like taking the Nardil with something to augment it like Ablify or some other med.
Wow, DBS. I wanted to have that done. I applied to be part of a trial here in Canada and I didn't get selected. Will you try ECT if you don't get the DBS?
I am sorry you are in so much pain. I hope something helps soon.
Posted by stargazer2 on October 10, 2010, at 18:56:16
In reply to Are there any new AD's out?, posted by Enigma on October 10, 2010, at 16:13:51
Have you tried Abilify in combination with another AD, like Nardil. What are you currently taking med wise?
You have similar issues as I do with the not wanting to leave the house etc. My TRD has been on a pretty dismal course for the past 20 years with an occasional break through every now and then.
I just started on Seroquel XR 150 mg with Lithium 600 mg as a new combination and it seems to be doing something. I was suicidal for a few weeks on Nardil so I had to come off it and went to a combo that worked a few years ago, Celexa, Wellbutrin and adderall, but failed this time.
My doc says there are always things I can try even though I think I have exhausted most meds that I am familar with. I am extremely disappointed with my lack of progress too.
Have you given any thought to transcranial magentic therapy. That is something I would try if I was at the end of the med roller coaster.
Is your doctor working with you to get you out of the place you are at...if not , perhaps another more skilled psychiatrist can be consulted. Just a thought...
Stargazer
Posted by Phillipa on October 10, 2010, at 21:11:05
In reply to Are there any new AD's out?, posted by Enigma on October 10, 2010, at 16:13:51
Have you tried agomelatonin, Valdoxan spellings may be wrong in combo with another med. Phillipa
Posted by Enigma on October 11, 2010, at 10:28:17
In reply to Re: Are there any new AD's out?, posted by linkadge on October 10, 2010, at 18:36:53
> no, there are no new antidepressants.
>
> I hear your situation. Doctors *should* be open to trying new treatments, even if it just gives the illusion of hope.
>
> Just a side question...which TCAs did you try? You are able to take MAOI's with not psychotic reaction? Hmm.I think I tried 2, and I'd have to dig out my drug list (it's on my xp partition, and I'm on Windows 7 now (and for some reason I when I open it with W7, it opens up as a garbage file).
>
> I would recomend a medication washout. I know, its probably the last thing on your mind, but I find when nothing works, "nothing" often works better.Can you tell me what that is.. a medication washout? I'm not familiar with the term or what that is.
>
> If you're not working, perhaps a course of sleep deprivation?...followed with lithium?Lithium turns me into a zombie, and usually makes my depression even worse. :(
>
> Linkadge
>
>Thanks for the help.
Posted by Enigma on October 11, 2010, at 10:31:47
In reply to Re: Are there any new AD's out? » Enigma, posted by Maxime on October 10, 2010, at 18:40:32
> There are probably no new meds for you to try but maybe there are combos that you haven't tried. Like taking the Nardil with something to augment it like Ablify or some other med.
>
> Wow, DBS. I wanted to have that done. I applied to be part of a trial here in Canada and I didn't get selected. Will you try ECT if you don't get the DBS?
>
> I am sorry you are in so much pain. I hope something helps soon.I could still get denied, so I'm not putting too much faith in it, and the procedure, wearing that "pacemaker"-type device sticking out of your upper chest doesn't sit well with me either, but it's better than feeling like this, (if it even is effective), and better than being dead.
I tried ECT twice, meaning, 2 different hospitals, bilateral, 10 sessions - each hospital, all it did was give me severe headaches and wipe out a bunch of short and possibly long term memories. I wish I never did it.
take care
Posted by Enigma on October 11, 2010, at 10:50:49
In reply to Re: Are there any new AD's out?, posted by stargazer2 on October 10, 2010, at 18:56:16
> Have you tried Abilify in combination with another AD, like Nardil. What are you currently taking med wise?
I took almost every single atypical antipsycotic, abilify too, and almost all of them gave me dyskinesia. I didn't want it to turn into tardive dyskinesia, so I had to quit taking them. Only 1 or 2 made me feel better. One made me gain 15-20 pounds in a week that I was only able to lose once I quit Nardil. I couldn't lose a single pound on Nardil, only gain... it didn't matter what I did.. diet, workout (which was impossible with the overheating/sweating), etc. One I quit, I lost the weight just by dieting. Not I look like my thin self again, but miserable, and lonely, so... I had other side-effects too, but I forgot what they were. It took a month or two, or even longer for the dyskinesia to finally go away. I twitches so bad, mostly neck, head, etc, it was almost impossible to sleep.
>
> You have similar issues as I do with the not wanting to leave the house etc. My TRD has been on a pretty dismal course for the past 20 years with an occasional break through every now and then.TRD is what again?
>
> I just started on Seroquel XR 150 mg with Lithium 600 mg as a new combination and it seems to be doing something. I was suicidal for a few weeks on Nardil so I had to come off it and went to a combo that worked a few years ago, Celexa, Wellbutrin and adderall, but failed this time.Seroquel made me gain mad weight. I'll never touch that stuff again. Same with Celexa if I'm not mistaken. Took Wellbutrin ages ago for energy, but it never had an AD effect. Tried adderall too.. don't recall anything about that one.
>
> My doc says there are always things I can try even though I think I have exhausted most meds that I am familar with. I am extremely disappointed with my lack of progress too.I hear that. I knew my last visit was going to be a waste of time, but I didn't think he was going to be THAT negative.. I think I'm going to try to see someone else again, but I'm pretty much out of doctors in my area. I've either been to them already, or them don't take my insurance.
>
> Have you given any thought to transcranial magentic therapy. That is something I would try if I was at the end of the med roller coaster.The hospital that I had ECT at (one of them) called me and said they were offering it. But, after talking to them about it, they said that most people that fail completely with ECT don't respond too well to this treatment either, and I'd have to take out a loan and do all this paperwork, and pray I get re-imbursed by this company that works with your insurance carrier (medicare) and so on, so I said, no thanks. I knew one person that tried it and it did nothing for them.. that doesn't mean it wouldn't work for me, but like I said, ECT had no effect on me whatsoever, sooo.. I'm not shelling out any money for this treatment.
>
> Is your doctor working with you to get you out of the place you are at...if not , perhaps another more skilled psychiatrist can be consulted. Just a thought...
>
> StargazerThis doctor was a complete waste of time. I'm come to expect very little from doctors, as I've had terrible experiences with most of them, not just psychiatrists. All they do is point me somewhere else, not help me at all, not solve my problems, cannot provide me with ANY answers, etc... it's pathetic. I waited a month and a 1/2 for this appt., just to have him ask me why I even made the appt. Yes, he actually asked me that. I was in shock. There's another doctor there, at the same office, but when he left his original practice, forcing me to find the last idiot I saw for a year, he was out of ideas too, I may still try to see him anyway, if he's accepting new patients.
I tried going to Boston, Mass General, and the waiting lists are insane. No one I tried was taking new patients. They couldn't even spend five minutes on the phone with me to recommend someone who is. They just wanted to hang up on me. There's only so much of this doctor-chasing BS one can handle. I made 10-15 calls. Most I had to call 3 times, and still never got a response.
The system is BROKEN.
Posted by Enigma on October 11, 2010, at 10:52:05
In reply to Re: Are there any new AD's out? » Enigma, posted by Phillipa on October 10, 2010, at 21:11:05
> Have you tried agomelatonin, Valdoxan spellings may be wrong in combo with another med. Phillipa
Never heard of them. Could you try to find the correct spellings?
Posted by europerep on October 11, 2010, at 11:48:45
In reply to Re: Are there any new AD's out?, posted by Enigma on October 11, 2010, at 10:52:05
> > Have you tried agomelatonin, Valdoxan spellings may be wrong in combo with another med. Phillipa
>
> Never heard of them. Could you try to find the correct spellings?valdoxan is correct, though the agent is called agomelatine. it's not available in the US, but in your place, I wouldn't worry about this, I'd pay you $1000 cash if you (or any severe treatment-resistant depression (TRD) patient) responded to it. it's just not what it is made for. in a paper by the Irish psychiatrists association (dunno if that's their name but you know what I mean) it was actually said that this was not something to consider as an alternative for TRD patients, but rather for certain kinds of "regular" depression, which are associated with circadian rhythm disturbance (no idea how that's diagnosed though)..
have you had parnate (or another maoi) + adderall? you could consider applying for an IV ketamine study, though any benefits would only be temporary.. but that way, you would know whether there is *something* that can help you...
Posted by Phillipa on October 11, 2010, at 20:53:43
In reply to Re: Are there any new AD's out?, posted by europerep on October 11, 2010, at 11:48:45
Thanks for helping with info and spellings. Phillipa
Posted by benzo85 on October 12, 2010, at 11:19:09
In reply to Are there any new AD's out?, posted by Enigma on October 10, 2010, at 16:13:51
What was your Nardil and Parnate dosage? And yeah, ever combine either with amphetamine?
Posted by Dr. Bob on October 12, 2010, at 14:11:15
In reply to Are there any new AD's out?, posted by Enigma on October 10, 2010, at 16:13:51
> they were all selfish [*]ssholes anyway
Please don't use language that could offend others.
But please don't take this personally, either, this doesn't mean I don't like you or think you're a bad person, and I'm sorry if this hurts you.
More information about posting policies is in the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#enforceIf you turn off automatic asterisking, you have more freedom to express yourself, but you're also responsible for your language.
Follow-ups regarding these issues should be redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration. They, as well as replies to the above post, should of course themselves be civil.
Thanks,
Bob
Posted by Enigma on October 13, 2010, at 10:56:55
In reply to Re: Are there any new AD's out?, posted by benzo85 on October 12, 2010, at 11:19:09
> What was your Nardil and Parnate dosage? And yeah, ever combine either with amphetamine?
I forget what the Parnate dosage was. I started low and couldn't tolerate the side-effects. For Nardil, I was at 90mg or something, whatever the highest dose was, then has to back down to 75 because of high blood pressure problems.
Never mixed them with amphetamine.
Doesn't matter.. will never try Parnate again.. tried it twice to be sure, both times, side-effects were brutal and no AD effect at all, and I'm DONE with Nardil, for good. It pooped out on me anyway, and I'll do anything to lose this overheating side-effect which I believe in what some others have said, that it may unfortunately be permanent, but I will try to stay off the drug for as long as humanly possible to see if it ever goes away.
It did take me 7 months to lose some withdrawal side-effects of Effexor, so, anything is possible. I soaked up 2 shirts again last night. Headache for the entire night, and barely slept. It was hell.
I'm in such a bad mood today, it's hard to imagine I could feel any worse than I already have been. I just want someone to put me out of my misery so I don't have to be the one responsible for my own death, and more importantly, have my children pay the consequences. I actually pray to be held up by a gunman so I can tell them to just shoot me and no one will ever find out. That way, no one can blame me for suicide.
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Medication | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.