Psycho-Babble Medication Thread 883132

Shown: posts 1 to 21 of 21. This is the beginning of the thread.

 

Gonna bug u all till ur exhausted w/ me ...

Posted by Fivefires on February 28, 2009, at 19:57:56

There's not much of me left guys. I've been in the dark for over a year now. I look back and think 'what happened?' in the Fall of 2008.

Even if I've had an incident of serotonin syndrome, this isn't supposed to cause permanent damage.

I can't find my way back to me 'P E R I O D'

Even family and friends and a sig-other avoid me.

I'm bed, bath, kitchen ridden; only leave the house for drs appts.

Do you remember me? I could be somewhat funny or have a good day, and then a bad streak, but I'd bounce back. I can't say anything good now. I'm beginning to be rude and angry and impatient and can be a nervous wreck if have no cigarettes, and I've no one here with me. Remember? Before I could say 'i'm emotionally ill w/ atypical depression or PTSD, and, use the word 'behavioral health' w/ confidence and w/o fear or embarrassment, but now, I must say a truth, this is nitty-gritty mental illness. I'm so damned scared.

I still wouldn't hurt anyone or me. Im not delusional or psychotic. I've become boring and where I used to like mixin up a look all my own, now I'll wear the same clothes for days.

No one but you all can help me.

Don't sugar-coat; an answer would be a relief, good or bad.

I wake ok till I realize my dreams, tho' persecuting, were preferable to whom I've become.

Wake and get soda to wash down morn' meds. Have a cig and check calendar. Since I 'sorta blew a small whistle' county case mgrs super sent eight police cars to visit little ole me!??? I opened the door and said 'jeez ... why are all you guys here?'. I dunno what they said as they cruised into my home, then suggested I sit down. Think one may have had a BP cuff. My BP was fine. So, like this was an episode of _____, I said 'do you have a search warrant?' I'd always wanted to say this; first funny thing I've done in a long time. The squad saw they had no reason to be here and left. I didn't care to listen to their words; this was insulting and scared me, not worth listening to. And, I live in a small (maybe 10max homes; 2-story condos, so my nayburrs ha must think worse of me.

Now Ive had the subject of 'maybe I need to get a POA' brought up. Do any of you have one? Who do you choose? I don't wanna give myself away unless its to someone like me. Suggestions???

I must pay bills, attend all drs. appts. Ya know, gotta' keep up the NADLs until I can be sure someone has my back if these hillbillies threaten me again. I know, big talk. My caregivers instantly became people to fear.

Here's me: If I don't take (I'm not sure which one it is for sure, as take them at around the same time each day.) a Xanax, or an oxycodone, when this (This= high agitation, gonna' jump outta skin, lock door, sit in a corner, yes rock sometimes, just tryin to stay in one place and light a cig ... but can't sit still, jump up, can't stay still. WTF? What's this??? What's happened??? Pdoc won't go back to Valium, and won't put klonopin beneath regular xanax, refuses to prescribe two diff' benzos.

Can't let anyone see me this way, esp. after the commitment posse looms in my mind.

Another new trait is IMPATIENCE. AND too now I am aware of the strife of OCD. I need a new bottle of liquid paper correction fluid every month! And then there's this 'zoning out' a person when they're speaking to me. It's truly not deliberate. Where am I? If I don't write it down, I won't remember it.

Remember me? I used to be able to have an uplifting discussion, and down ones too, but NOT LIKE THIS! NOT BEEN AWAY FROM YOU ALL FOR MONTHS LIKE THIS EVER.

Something is wrong; really wrong. My pdoc says he can't figure me out.

Reading about SERO SYND, I see migraine meds combined w/ SSRIs bad. I've been on Frova in the past five years or longer, just on and off; could have been alongside one of the SSRIs; don't recall.

Could have I suffered some serotonin syndrome, seizure, stroke, nms (can you survive this?), or what else? I mean, I'm a real STRONG PERSONALITY AND A STRONG PHYSICAL PERSON despite my body size.

Could I have some permanent damage? My benzo dosage is 6mg reg Xanax and 3mg XR Xanax. Docs, fam, want me off!(???O__O???). Ive a great fear a a repeat episode of a 'withholding of medication induced psychosis' which occurred after
a 'big long ugly cry, a following peaceful stillness, but then onset of whole bod' tremor & non-stop hyperventilation & physical disablement of moving w/o support, as if i'd aged 30yrs in a couple days' which landed me inpatient in 2005. Ive spoken of it here before.

(Hey all. I've edited to this point, but what follows is rough draft and hope not a lot of typos and makes sense. You see, I have to get up. I CAN'T STAND, CAN'T STAND, REALLY CAN'T STAND TO SIT HERE ANY LONGER..... I apologize. I'm so sorry. No worry. I feel too out of control to take my life and I pray someone will lead me out of this darkness. There are those I love immensely in this life who I will not harm by example. Love (I don't usually say this, but feelin' like I need you so.) to alllll.....

Hope following makes sense ...

Ive never been psychotic; just this time my med was withheld cuz pdoc erred in chart and my psychotic experience was paranoia. Dunno how long lasted; kept telling self .. your imagining this over and over until I stood up and walked over to a woman tech and said I wasn't feeling well, and, her reaction showed me yes I was imaginging it and really lessened this 'period of psychosis' (Could have been a minute. Could have been an hour.) encouraging me to keep telling myself I was imagining it. Kept knocking on the nurse station glass partitions. Was told to go to room. Room was down an empty hall out of view of anyone. As I turned to go into the room, I saw the floor begin to go out from under my feet, grabbed a railing, screamed for help, BP (mine runs low) wasn't WNL. They had to help me back to a chair near the station. As I sat there looking at the floor, feeling the top of my head was going to blow off and erupt like geyser, the staff began to take me serious. Valium gave me relief, big relief. What was happening? So there's this.

But in the Fall of 2008 was when I went to bed and kept on going back to bed, as I do still. I never smile anymore guys. Where'd I go?

All I can recall at that time was a trial of Nardil here, by myself, and I didn't pay much attn to the dietary restrictions as those restrictions didn't make me ill. Nothing bad happened when I drank soda or had chocolate. Or did it? Did it, and I didn't know it?

After this, been on Effexor-XR, my old stand-by. (Cannot take SSRIs for they cause me to get into back holes.) My hope was a non-monotherapy (what's that called again?) w/ it might help me.

After 9-10 mos of just Effexor-XR 75mg, pdoc just yesterday approved addding nortriptyline 10mg.

I got up to 450mg which induced a manic episode (my first and hope last!) I got a lot done but someone else had to tell me who did it the next day. Pdoc just said taper down, but didn't want me off. Still refusing to add anything to augment.

BTW, in the midst of this time period of approx 12-13yrs, I made my way inpatient once.

What a waste of $.

Pdoc zoned in on my anxiety. My hope was for a re-evaluation of my depression and its treatment.

The med I feared losing the most, becuz feared repeat incident of 'withholding medication induced psychosis', was taken.

The pdoc there cold-turkey'd all Xanax (2mg qid & Xanax-XR 1mg tid) for 1mg klonopin. I went there with the hope of receiving an evaluation of my anti-depressant. Signed out AMA b4 things got worse.

Here and back to bed, pill ... need something.

Thinking of all and hoping you're well. If you're doing better, then maybe you can help me? (Emotionally/Socially Selfish Empty, Lost)

I'm sorry; of course I don't want you better for me; I want for you.....

456 5f

Boy I hope this was the proper board.

 

Re: Gonna bug u all till ur exhausted w/ me ... » Fivefires

Posted by Phillipa on February 28, 2009, at 22:52:46

In reply to Gonna bug u all till ur exhausted w/ me ..., posted by Fivefires on February 28, 2009, at 19:57:56

FF think cocktail is the word looking for. If nardil did something others correct me if wrong think you would have Known not sure though. What's a POA? Love Phillipa

 

Re: Gonna bug u all till ur exhausted w/ me ... » Fivefires

Posted by JadeKelly on February 28, 2009, at 23:38:01

In reply to Gonna bug u all till ur exhausted w/ me ..., posted by Fivefires on February 28, 2009, at 19:57:56

Hi Fivefires,

Not sure which board you wanted but this is the med board. Which frankly, I think is where you should be. I'm sorry you are going thru such hel*. I've been thru some myself. It seems impossible sometimes and then some hope comes along. I don't know you but I'd be happy to share what I know. I just need some time to process your post. I'm still a little cognitively lost myself. So I will post you back probably tomorrow.

Hang in there, you'll get some answers soon, its late where I am so it may be tommorow. You okay till then??

Try to relax until then and i'm sure some people who know you will respond. I think I can relate some to what you are going thru. Things will get better. I found the right meds and plan to stay on them. I think that is the secret. They shouldn't have taken your meds!! Not like that. I agree with you.

Talk soon?

~Jade

 

Re: Gonna bug u all till ur exhausted w/ me ... » JadeKelly

Posted by JadeKelly on March 1, 2009, at 0:09:22

In reply to Re: Gonna bug u all till ur exhausted w/ me ... » Fivefires, posted by JadeKelly on February 28, 2009, at 23:38:01

I've seen your post name on social alot. Want to post it there too?

Again, I think this is a good board to start with.

~Jade

 

Re: Gonna bug u all till ur exhausted w/ me ...

Posted by polarbear206 on March 1, 2009, at 0:30:18

In reply to Gonna bug u all till ur exhausted w/ me ..., posted by Fivefires on February 28, 2009, at 19:57:56

Ff

Do you remember me? I think you really need a mood stablizer. What gives that your P-doc won't give you something to augment your AD? Have you tried Lamictal? I take it with effexor.

((((HUGS))))

 

Re: Gonna bug u all till ur exhausted w/ me ... » Fivefires

Posted by Ron Hill on March 1, 2009, at 15:53:20

In reply to Gonna bug u all till ur exhausted w/ me ..., posted by Fivefires on February 28, 2009, at 19:57:56

5F,

I remember you Five Fires! And, I care about you!!

I'm so sorry that you are in a bad place. I was in that bad place for several years.

Fortunately, I'm much better now because I did a ton of research and I worked with a great pdoc that trusted my med trial suggestions. I'm not completely well, but I'm a long long way from that bad place.

5F, don't worry, your brain is not permanently damaged. Your brain chemistry is just messed up.

So you are currently taking Effexor-XR 75mg and nortriptyline 10mg, right?

What is your diagnosis according to your p-doc? If I remember correctly, when I talked to you a long time ago I came to the conclusion that you are bipolar.

Have you tried Lamictal?

I agree with PolarBear's post above. I think you need to be on one or more moodstabilizer(s).

I'd like to see how you would do on a combo of Trileptal, Lamictal, and Parnate. You'd need to start by adding moodstabilizers and ramping them up to full dosages. If you choose Lamictal, ramp up very slowly to avoid skin rashes.

-- Ron

dx: Bipolar II, with ultra rapid cycling (15 days for one complete cycle), and mild OCPD

300 mg/day Trileptal
200 mg/day Lamictal
250 mg/day Keppra
60 mg/day Nardil

--------------------------

> There's not much of me left guys. I've been in the dark for over a year now. I look back and think 'what happened?' in the Fall of 2008.
>
> Even if I've had an incident of serotonin syndrome, this isn't supposed to cause permanent damage.
>
> I can't find my way back to me 'P E R I O D'
>
> Even family and friends and a sig-other avoid me.
>
> I'm bed, bath, kitchen ridden; only leave the house for drs appts.
>
> Do you remember me? I could be somewhat funny or have a good day, and then a bad streak, but I'd bounce back. I can't say anything good now. I'm beginning to be rude and angry and impatient and can be a nervous wreck if have no cigarettes, and I've no one here with me. Remember? Before I could say 'i'm emotionally ill w/ atypical depression or PTSD, and, use the word 'behavioral health' w/ confidence and w/o fear or embarrassment, but now, I must say a truth, this is nitty-gritty mental illness. I'm so damned scared.
>
> I still wouldn't hurt anyone or me. Im not delusional or psychotic. I've become boring and where I used to like mixin up a look all my own, now I'll wear the same clothes for days.
>
> No one but you all can help me.
>
> Don't sugar-coat; an answer would be a relief, good or bad.
>
> I wake ok till I realize my dreams, tho' persecuting, were preferable to whom I've become.
>
> Wake and get soda to wash down morn' meds. Have a cig and check calendar. Since I 'sorta blew a small whistle' county case mgrs super sent eight police cars to visit little ole me!??? I opened the door and said 'jeez ... why are all you guys here?'. I dunno what they said as they cruised into my home, then suggested I sit down. Think one may have had a BP cuff. My BP was fine. So, like this was an episode of _____, I said 'do you have a search warrant?' I'd always wanted to say this; first funny thing I've done in a long time. The squad saw they had no reason to be here and left. I didn't care to listen to their words; this was insulting and scared me, not worth listening to. And, I live in a small (maybe 10max homes; 2-story condos, so my nayburrs ha must think worse of me.
>
> Now Ive had the subject of 'maybe I need to get a POA' brought up. Do any of you have one? Who do you choose? I don't wanna give myself away unless its to someone like me. Suggestions???
>
> I must pay bills, attend all drs. appts. Ya know, gotta' keep up the NADLs until I can be sure someone has my back if these hillbillies threaten me again. I know, big talk. My caregivers instantly became people to fear.
>
> Here's me: If I don't take (I'm not sure which one it is for sure, as take them at around the same time each day.) a Xanax, or an oxycodone, when this (This= high agitation, gonna' jump outta skin, lock door, sit in a corner, yes rock sometimes, just tryin to stay in one place and light a cig ... but can't sit still, jump up, can't stay still. WTF? What's this??? What's happened??? Pdoc won't go back to Valium, and won't put klonopin beneath regular xanax, refuses to prescribe two diff' benzos.
>
> Can't let anyone see me this way, esp. after the commitment posse looms in my mind.
>
> Another new trait is IMPATIENCE. AND too now I am aware of the strife of OCD. I need a new bottle of liquid paper correction fluid every month! And then there's this 'zoning out' a person when they're speaking to me. It's truly not deliberate. Where am I? If I don't write it down, I won't remember it.
>
> Remember me? I used to be able to have an uplifting discussion, and down ones too, but NOT LIKE THIS! NOT BEEN AWAY FROM YOU ALL FOR MONTHS LIKE THIS EVER.
>
> Something is wrong; really wrong. My pdoc says he can't figure me out.
>
> Reading about SERO SYND, I see migraine meds combined w/ SSRIs bad. I've been on Frova in the past five years or longer, just on and off; could have been alongside one of the SSRIs; don't recall.
>
> Could have I suffered some serotonin syndrome, seizure, stroke, nms (can you survive this?), or what else? I mean, I'm a real STRONG PERSONALITY AND A STRONG PHYSICAL PERSON despite my body size.
>
> Could I have some permanent damage? My benzo dosage is 6mg reg Xanax and 3mg XR Xanax. Docs, fam, want me off!(???O__O???). Ive a great fear a a repeat episode of a 'withholding of medication induced psychosis' which occurred after
> a 'big long ugly cry, a following peaceful stillness, but then onset of whole bod' tremor & non-stop hyperventilation & physical disablement of moving w/o support, as if i'd aged 30yrs in a couple days' which landed me inpatient in 2005. Ive spoken of it here before.
>
> (Hey all. I've edited to this point, but what follows is rough draft and hope not a lot of typos and makes sense. You see, I have to get up. I CAN'T STAND, CAN'T STAND, REALLY CAN'T STAND TO SIT HERE ANY LONGER..... I apologize. I'm so sorry. No worry. I feel too out of control to take my life and I pray someone will lead me out of this darkness. There are those I love immensely in this life who I will not harm by example. Love (I don't usually say this, but feelin' like I need you so.) to alllll.....
>
> Hope following makes sense ...
>
> Ive never been psychotic; just this time my med was withheld cuz pdoc erred in chart and my psychotic experience was paranoia. Dunno how long lasted; kept telling self .. your imagining this over and over until I stood up and walked over to a woman tech and said I wasn't feeling well, and, her reaction showed me yes I was imaginging it and really lessened this 'period of psychosis' (Could have been a minute. Could have been an hour.) encouraging me to keep telling myself I was imagining it. Kept knocking on the nurse station glass partitions. Was told to go to room. Room was down an empty hall out of view of anyone. As I turned to go into the room, I saw the floor begin to go out from under my feet, grabbed a railing, screamed for help, BP (mine runs low) wasn't WNL. They had to help me back to a chair near the station. As I sat there looking at the floor, feeling the top of my head was going to blow off and erupt like geyser, the staff began to take me serious. Valium gave me relief, big relief. What was happening? So there's this.
>
> But in the Fall of 2008 was when I went to bed and kept on going back to bed, as I do still. I never smile anymore guys. Where'd I go?
>
> All I can recall at that time was a trial of Nardil here, by myself, and I didn't pay much attn to the dietary restrictions as those restrictions didn't make me ill. Nothing bad happened when I drank soda or had chocolate. Or did it? Did it, and I didn't know it?
>
> After this, been on Effexor-XR, my old stand-by. (Cannot take SSRIs for they cause me to get into back holes.) My hope was a non-monotherapy (what's that called again?) w/ it might help me.
>
> After 9-10 mos of just Effexor-XR 75mg, pdoc just yesterday approved addding nortriptyline 10mg.
>
> I got up to 450mg which induced a manic episode (my first and hope last!) I got a lot done but someone else had to tell me who did it the next day. Pdoc just said taper down, but didn't want me off. Still refusing to add anything to augment.
>
> BTW, in the midst of this time period of approx 12-13yrs, I made my way inpatient once.
>
> What a waste of $.
>
> Pdoc zoned in on my anxiety. My hope was for a re-evaluation of my depression and its treatment.
>
> The med I feared losing the most, becuz feared repeat incident of 'withholding medication induced psychosis', was taken.
>
> The pdoc there cold-turkey'd all Xanax (2mg qid & Xanax-XR 1mg tid) for 1mg klonopin. I went there with the hope of receiving an evaluation of my anti-depressant. Signed out AMA b4 things got worse.
>
> Here and back to bed, pill ... need something.
>
> Thinking of all and hoping you're well. If you're doing better, then maybe you can help me? (Emotionally/Socially Selfish Empty, Lost)
>
> I'm sorry; of course I don't want you better for me; I want for you.....
>
> 456 5f
>
> Boy I hope this was the proper board.

 

Re: Gonna bug u all till ur exhausted w/ me ...

Posted by bleauberry on March 1, 2009, at 17:15:12

In reply to Gonna bug u all till ur exhausted w/ me ..., posted by Fivefires on February 28, 2009, at 19:57:56

Most important...((((HUGS))))from me.

I've been there. Still always teetering on the edge, but not in that aweful place stuck in doom anymore. I am not at all suggesting this to you, only sharing my story that when I started to feel a bit of hope and recovery and see a little light was when I started a long 3 month journey of weaning off all my meds cautiously.

We never, or hardly ever, consider the obvious. That is, the very meds we are taking are making us worse. Face it, it happens. It happens a lot. Just because certain meds can be miracles for others doesn't mean they won't be disasters for others.

I am disappointed that when Nardil was given up they didn't switch you to Parnate.

Go up the page to a thread called "a GREAT article on MAOIs" posted by djmmm. In that doctor's summation is a boatload of hope intended for you.

At other forums people have found Parnate to be an excellent anti-anxiety as well, and that when it wasn't, 2mg or less of Klonopin was the magic.

All I can really say about meds in your case is that you are on the wrong ones. You are far worse than you were, and to me looking in from the outside, some of it can probably be blamed on the disease itself but a large portion of it is to blame on the doctor's choices of meds. They need to be carefully ditched and replaced with an entirely new med strategy. My opinion.

When someone deteriorates badly under the care of a doctor, logic also says you gotta get a second and third opinion and see different doctors. This doctor is killing you. I'm more blunt than most people, and I would have no problem looking him straight in the eyes and saying, "I was in a lot better shape before you put me on these meds. Your med choices have destroyed what little life and hope I had. I either need to see you turn on some expertise if you are holding back on it, or refer me to someone more talented."

This will sound way out in left field, but I'm serious. Get someone to give you a challenge trial of antibiotics, specifically tetracylcine. See what happens. If you get even worse than you are, your doctors are barking up the wrong tree. You've got Lyme, something Lyme-like, or some unknown chronic pathogenic infection. Those things have very serious psychiatric symptoms that respond very well to certain antibiotics, even though treatment is blind without diagnostic confirmation, and high dose psych drugs. For example, one lady responding to antibiotics for a suspected Bartonella infection needed 60mg Lexapro. A few weeks later the antibiotic had killed most of the psych-causing symptoms and she was maintained on just 5mg Lexapro, and she had returned to 90% of her complete mental health. This is an extremely overlooked area and in your case warrants a strong investigation and even warrants blind treatment.

One thing for sure. When we are "stuck", the only way to get out is to "move". In my case, similar to yours, I did the movements starting from a clean slate with new meds and changing doctors. Just doing something, anything, moving forward, is a good move. Don't let anyone keep you stuck any longer. Please.

(((HUGS)))

 

Re: Gonna bug u all till ur exhausted w/ me ...

Posted by Neal on March 1, 2009, at 22:44:24

In reply to Gonna bug u all till ur exhausted w/ me ..., posted by Fivefires on February 28, 2009, at 19:57:56

___________________________


Hey 5,

Sorry to hear about your recent problems. Klonopin is a much longer-acting benzo than Xanax. If the pdoc took you off the Xanax, it was probably for a reason, but you were on a relatively high dosage. You may be going through a withdrawal phase from the benzos, which will take a while to clear your system.

The best way to go through the phase might be to hunker down and chill as much as you can. I know - easier said than done. Sometimes the only thing you can do is turn on the TV and zone out on movies for awhile. Sounds dumb, but it got me through some hard times.

Make sure your pdoc knows your symptoms and how hard things are. It might possibly be helpful if you were on a more serotonergic medication along with the Effexor, Lamictal has been discussed here a lot.

Keep us posted. . . .

~neal

__________________________

 

Re: Gonna bug u all till ur exhausted w/ me ...

Posted by Phillipa on March 1, 2009, at 23:18:03

In reply to Re: Gonna bug u all till ur exhausted w/ me ..., posted by Neal on March 1, 2009, at 22:44:24

Five Fires I think some good advise on the thread are you there bed soon. Love Phillipa will write you too.

 

Re: Gonna bug u all till ur exhausted - correction

Posted by Neal on March 3, 2009, at 17:04:23

In reply to Re: Gonna bug u all till ur exhausted w/ me ..., posted by Neal on March 1, 2009, at 22:44:24

Lamictal is not a serotonin AD, or if it works on serotonin, it's only mildly.

Lamotrigine is an oral drug that is used for treating seizures. It is chemically unrelated to other anti-seizure drugs. The precise mechanism by which lamotrigine exerts its anti-seizure action is not known.

 

Re: Gonna bug u all till ur exhausted w/ me ...

Posted by Fivefires on March 3, 2009, at 22:59:37

In reply to Re: Gonna bug u all till ur exhausted w/ me ..., posted by Phillipa on March 1, 2009, at 23:18:03

I just got pc back. I had to notify one of you in particular. Not dead yet. No energy. Real bad. I'm nearing the end I'm afraid. I had to take half a Provigil to get out of bed and send this. I think I had SEROTONIN SYNDROME and didn't die. I wonder if it was when I took Nardil or when cold-turkey'd off large dose benzo. Because I'd seen 4to5 neuros b4 father passed, the neuro I was to see today called yest' and said would not see me. I found a psychologist. Or, MAYBE I'M JUST A FREAKIN' PRESCRIPTION JUNKIE like my family believes I am............cry........... Can you tell I'm AFU? Ur all 'the best' 'cuz I know you'll allow me to be imperfect for a while. Since just got pc back and up, I had to contact another, and am too tired write more. Have coverage for in-home health, not a lot, but a little, and PCP is taking no action. I'm having a physical problem that I think is common of one who is dying. I haven't googled CAN NORTRIPTYLINE CAUSE SS OR NMS yet. Will you, one of you, pls tell me.

night, 5f

 

Re: Gonna bug u all till ur exhausted w/ me ...

Posted by desolationrower on March 4, 2009, at 12:06:03

In reply to Re: Gonna bug u all till ur exhausted w/ me ..., posted by Fivefires on March 3, 2009, at 22:59:37

i would expect nortriptyline to block serotonin syndrome, actually. i don't it it causing NMS either as it doesn't affect d2 receptors. Hope you find something that helps you out.

-d/r

 

SHALL I DO IT TONIGHT???

Posted by Fivefires on March 4, 2009, at 15:49:14

In reply to Re: Gonna bug u all till ur exhausted w/ me ..., posted by desolationrower on March 4, 2009, at 12:06:03

Hi desolationrower. I don't know if we've met. I know a lot change names. Pls don't be offended if I say, DO All ABOVE AGREE? I've not taken one yet. I am very agitated by Provigil; forgot to tell you this. Butt, I can't get out of bed w/o it. All symptoms of death set in. And, then of course w/ the agitation, I really need the Xanax or I am so agitated I can't focus at all. I'm scared out of my wits! Scared they're gonna throw me a dungeon in a state hospital! No one here to protect me, no visitors. I'm losin' ground fast guys. I've not taken it, the nortriptyline. Shall I tonight?????? Take a vote? Is there someone out there that isn't telling me this is the natural progression to completely losing my mind? I know; the power of suggestion. Not much fire left. Need someone to hold me. Cold. Take a vote. I'll check back before bed. Best to all allways.

tks -d/r & all of the above

hey where ru, Sc, La, Pa?

5f

 

Re: Gonna bug u all till ur exhausted w/ me ...

Posted by polarbear206 on March 4, 2009, at 19:13:19

In reply to Re: Gonna bug u all till ur exhausted w/ me ..., posted by desolationrower on March 4, 2009, at 12:06:03

> i would expect nortriptyline to block serotonin syndrome, actually. i don't it it causing NMS either as it doesn't affect d2 receptors. Hope you find something that helps you out.
>
> -d/r

Call your doctor and discuss adding a mood stablizer to level you out!!!!

 

Re: SHALL I DO IT TONIGHT???

Posted by desolationrower on March 4, 2009, at 19:22:26

In reply to SHALL I DO IT TONIGHT???, posted by Fivefires on March 4, 2009, at 15:49:14

hi 5f. have you tried a mood stabilizer? you sound like you may be working through a mixed state. not sure what all you've tried or how its gone.

it sounds like meds can really affect you so i'm sure something will be a big help for you.

I'm in OH.

-d/r

 

Re: SHALL I DO IT TONIGHT??? » Fivefires

Posted by Phillipa on March 4, 2009, at 19:45:20

In reply to SHALL I DO IT TONIGHT???, posted by Fivefires on March 4, 2009, at 15:49:14

Five Fires did you call pdoc or take the med? Were you ever diagnosed as bipolar? Love Phillipa

 

TOO LATE - IT'S 1AM

Posted by Fivefires on March 5, 2009, at 2:36:10

In reply to Re: SHALL I DO IT TONIGHT??? » Fivefires, posted by Phillipa on March 4, 2009, at 19:45:20

> Five Fires did you call pdoc or take the med?<

Often call. Pdpc doesn't return calls. I fell asleep late afternoon and it's 1a. No pill tonight. I'm very frightened to take it as I'd always been so 'in control' in the past and my body more healthy, and I wish someone could spend the night w/ me when I take it.

> Were you ever diagnosed as bipolar?<

No, but can it be medication induced? It seems Provigil causes some OCD & ADHD. And, Effexor-XR at 450mg (I went down to 75mgs) induced mania, or at least what I'm sure mania is now!

Sorry; fell asleep 5p and its 1a.

I used to have worse symptoms in the spring, or, simply situational, but now, it is as if every day is black.

Preparing MPofA. Any1 who knows about these and could lookover, w/ anonymity of course, appreciate way and pls babblemail me. Followed a state revised statute w/ some added comments of own. Wondering if wrong to leave arrangements to those you love. There is a form to express your directives after death. Never imagined I'd be unable to afford an attorney at this time in my life or as things are going, ever, and wouldn't want what children wouldn't want. If your dust, where can they find you, cry w/ you, leave you flowers; idk. This is legal jargon; sorry.

You're here w/ me to live.

>Love Phillipa<

U2,5f

 

Re: TOO LATE - IT'S 1AM » Fivefires

Posted by bleauberry on March 5, 2009, at 18:47:05

In reply to TOO LATE - IT'S 1AM, posted by Fivefires on March 5, 2009, at 2:36:10

What's the chance of seeing another doctor? A second or third or tenth opinion may be the magic one. The current doctor doesn't seem to be showing much skill, management, or concern. Not cool. I mean, if you're stuck with him, fine, kick his *ss into gear.

I have little to go on other than your description in this thread and I don't remember from your previous visits what your history was. But with what I see in front of me, I cannot for the life of me figure out why you were not put on something fast and powerful for the entire spectrum of symptoms...like for example, Prozac+Zyprexa; Lexapro+Abilify; Lexapro+Risperdal; Prozac+Lithium; Effexor+any AP. Important note, I'm not talking APs in general, or ADs in general, I'm talking about the specific combinations listed above at normal medium doses.

Provigil just happens to go well with those too.

I'm not sure about the Nortriptyline thing. I mean, anything's possible, ya know? The best psychiatrist I ever had told me that. All I can say is that based on how fragile the situation is right now, it might be wise to approach it gently. That is, very low doses to start with a slow titration to higher doses. I do believe Nortriptyline will at first make things seem a little jumpier and a little more out of control for about 3 days, followed by rapid calming and control before the first week is over.

I would feel a whole lot more comfortable with this thing if a Zyprexa or Abilify were on board.

I hate it when untalented doctors bring us down a treacherous road of high dose benzos or max dose effexor where the treck back is like facing a hurricane naked.

Hey, I thought about you several times today. At work. In the car. At lunch. You aren't alone. I wish I could storm into your doctor's office and say, "Hey!".

Final note...if I understood your history correct, you came down from 450mg Effexor to 75mg? I don't know when that was though. I just wanted to comment that the after-effects of that, even after the withdrawals are gone, can last months. Some or much of what you are feeling could be post-high-dose-Effexor, in which case, again, I feel a Zyprexa or Abilify could really help smooth things out and raise the spirits.

 

Re: SHALL I DO IT TONIGHT???

Posted by Phillipa on March 5, 2009, at 19:18:30

In reply to Re: SHALL I DO IT TONIGHT??? » Fivefires, posted by Phillipa on March 4, 2009, at 19:45:20

Five Fires no post today? So what's going on did you call pdoc? Love Phillipa. ps better ear as low blood sugar won't help.

 

Re: SHALL I DO IT TONIGHT???

Posted by Fivefires on March 6, 2009, at 12:44:05

In reply to Re: SHALL I DO IT TONIGHT???, posted by Phillipa on March 5, 2009, at 19:18:30

I took one last night but woke to a phone call alerting me I was loved but this lover was leaving the earth. Idn how I feel. I don't even know how I should feel. I want to smile soooo bad.

I'm sorry I'm slow at keepin' up. No negative side effect w/ the nortriptyline 10mg that I can tap into I guess.

After above incident, think I'm reacting to my surroundings and happenings :(. Yeah; called back and yelled at me for screwing up his life.(?)

:( i only tried to help

5f

 

Re: SHALL I DO IT TONIGHT??? » Fivefires

Posted by Phillipa on March 6, 2009, at 20:40:27

In reply to Re: SHALL I DO IT TONIGHT???, posted by Fivefires on March 6, 2009, at 12:44:05

Glad the med worked!!!!! Love Phillipa ps forget IC.


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