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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 1 to 25 of 27. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by rjlockhart98 on June 28, 2005, at 21:28:14
I went to Methodist Treatment Center, it looked like a very sophistacted facitlity, but when i walked there was people sitting with there arms crooked with a squiry smile at me..... i just grined and tried to get out of sight. I belive they where a little out of reality.
I was psychiatricly evaluatuted by a State Certified Counseler of Texas, i was very relived that she told me 4 times that i was not insane, i have NONE symptoms.... of Schizophrenia. But symptoms of severe anxiety.... i hate that awnser. It is more than anxiety.
My mom butted in, and threatend me if i didnt let her in the room. I consented to her. The first things she did was, Well this is WHAT IS GOING..... she flat out told her hush, this is not your evaluation, my mom gritted her teeth.... and said 'bitch' under her breath very lightly. She just ignored her....
i got to really let out my symtoms, i told her do i have symptoms of Schizophrenia, she told me. She did say that i have symptoms of hypo-mania, and she referred me to another psychiatrist.
It was a good visit, i thought they where going to lock me up. My mom really has a personality disorder i do not know of, she was told to be quiet during the session, because she would roll her eyes and say i was 'exaggerating', the evaluater rolled her eyes numerous times and told her this is not your evaluation. she boldy replied 'miss get to the point, i have to go and your wasting time'. She was asked to leave and sit in the lobby. Anger Problems....severe
Anyway. I dont think im Bi poler, just extreme at times.
I just am glad i am not insane. and was not going to have to be a 'inpatient' person, with real crazy people, lord they scared me.
See you later guys.
matt
Posted by Maxime on June 28, 2005, at 21:46:08
In reply to My Visit to Mental Ward...., posted by rjlockhart98 on June 28, 2005, at 21:28:14
Hi Matt. I am glad you finally went. Hopefully the new pdoc can help.
You know there is a lot of stigma around mental illness. People get called all sorts of names. I was a little surprised when you wrote at the end the of your post "real crazy people". I guess we all are. I mean some people have more severe symptoms than others. But I have gone psychotic before and it would hurt to know that someone called me a real crazy person. Because in the end we are humans. That is our connection. And we need to show compassion at all times. And if EVERYONE here at PB works together to break the stigma of mental illness, then we will have made one tiny step towards better treatment etc. You know what I mean?
When will you see the new pdoc? I am glad your mom was put in her place. Good for you for going! That was a brave move on your part.
Maxime
> I went to Methodist Treatment Center, it looked like a very sophistacted facitlity, but when i walked there was people sitting with there arms crooked with a squiry smile at me..... i just grined and tried to get out of sight. I belive they where a little out of reality.
>
> I was psychiatricly evaluatuted by a State Certified Counseler of Texas, i was very relived that she told me 4 times that i was not insane, i have NONE symptoms.... of Schizophrenia. But symptoms of severe anxiety.... i hate that awnser. It is more than anxiety.
>
> My mom butted in, and threatend me if i didnt let her in the room. I consented to her. The first things she did was, Well this is WHAT IS GOING..... she flat out told her hush, this is not your evaluation, my mom gritted her teeth.... and said 'bitch' under her breath very lightly. She just ignored her....
>
> i got to really let out my symtoms, i told her do i have symptoms of Schizophrenia, she told me. She did say that i have symptoms of hypo-mania, and she referred me to another psychiatrist.
>
> It was a good visit, i thought they where going to lock me up. My mom really has a personality disorder i do not know of, she was told to be quiet during the session, because she would roll her eyes and say i was 'exaggerating', the evaluater rolled her eyes numerous times and told her this is not your evaluation. she boldy replied 'miss get to the point, i have to go and your wasting time'. She was asked to leave and sit in the lobby. Anger Problems....severe
>
> Anyway. I dont think im Bi poler, just extreme at times.
>
> I just am glad i am not insane. and was not going to have to be a 'inpatient' person, with real crazy people, lord they scared me.
>
> See you later guys.
>
> matt
Posted by sleepygirl on June 28, 2005, at 21:52:14
In reply to Re: My Visit to Mental Ward...., posted by Maxime on June 28, 2005, at 21:46:08
Geez! Your mom really needs to BUTT OUT! Glad you made some progress though. Good luck setting some serious boundaries with her. It sounds like it wasn't easy for the evaluator and she doesn't have to live with your mom. Just because you're not psychotic (i'm glad you're not because that is always tragic) doesn't mean you don't have serious problems that you need addressed and taken seriously. There's nothing "wrong" with you because of that. Good luck and take good care of yourself.
-sleepy
Posted by Phillipa on June 28, 2005, at 22:11:54
In reply to Re: My Visit to Mental Ward...., posted by sleepygirl on June 28, 2005, at 21:52:14
Maybe I do need to drive to Texas to pick you up. But you did the right thing. I'm glad they kicked your mother out. It is you who has the symptoms not her at least not the same ones. Sounds like she's really controlling. Remember I'm always here for you. Babble anytime. I'll give you my E-mail. I think I did once before. Love Phillipa X
Posted by Jakeman on June 28, 2005, at 22:26:10
In reply to My Visit to Mental Ward...., posted by rjlockhart98 on June 28, 2005, at 21:28:14
reading what you say makes me think you've got a lot of innate sanity.
~jake
Posted by linkadge on June 29, 2005, at 6:24:23
In reply to My Visit to Mental Ward...., posted by rjlockhart98 on June 28, 2005, at 21:28:14
Hold onto your rights, and what you deserve. Know the numbers of people who you might need to contact.
She may think that she is doing best by keeping you away from the necessary treatment, but in the long run, it may prolong your suffering, and make things.
Good step.Linkadge
Posted by SLS on June 29, 2005, at 6:39:11
In reply to My Visit to Mental Ward...., posted by rjlockhart98 on June 28, 2005, at 21:28:14
Even insane people are sane - just in their own way.
Recently, somebody said to me that mentally ill people are not playing with a full deck. I quickly corrected him. I told him that they are indeed playing with full decks, although perhaps shuffled a little differently.
- Scott
Posted by SLS on June 29, 2005, at 6:53:32
In reply to Re: My Visit to Mental Ward...., posted by SLS on June 29, 2005, at 6:39:11
I have had great success describing my illness as being a neurological disorder. I describe how it creates chronic fatigue and affects my ability to read, learn, and remember. I sometimes add that it affects mood as well, but not always. When they ask what the name of the disorder is, I respond that it is affective disorder. If I feel that the person I am speaking to has understood what I was saying, and I feel they are not too judgmental, I make it a point to reveal that affective disorders include depression and bipolar disorder. My goal all along is to convert one more person. It is my attempt to abolish the stigma of mental illness. I've been doing this for over 20 years. My batting average is well over 500.
- Scott
Posted by Jazzed on June 29, 2005, at 7:29:06
In reply to Re: My Visit to Mental Ward...., posted by SLS on June 29, 2005, at 6:39:11
>
> Recently, somebody said to me that mentally ill people are not playing with a full deck. I quickly corrected him. I told him that they are indeed playing with full decks, although perhaps shuffled a little differently.Gosh Scott, now THERE you go again! I love that.... shuffled differently. You are just so wise!
Jazzy
Posted by Jazzed on June 29, 2005, at 7:34:53
In reply to Re: My Visit to Mental Ward...., posted by SLS on June 29, 2005, at 6:53:32
Hi Matt,
I'm so glad you got evaluated. I'm sorry that your mom was there, and that they even let her in for a short while. You NEED to get away from her, she is poison! I do hope the new p-doc can help you though, and I hope someone will do something about your mom. Maybe have her evaluated, maybe some time in that hosp. is what she needs - seriously, it sounds like she has some real problems, and like she needs some meds to calm her down and get her off your back.
Anyway, I'm glad you went. You know better than I do, because it's you who feels it, but I do think that SEVERE anxiety, esp. when combined with living with someone like your mom, can make you feel much more ill than you might otherwise be in more ideal circumstances. I'm sure you feel like you have no control, and you feel very threatened by your mom. If you weren't in that environment, and if you didn't have your mom constantly in your head, I"m sure you'd feel healthier than you do now.
Good luck!
Jazzy
Posted by SLS on June 29, 2005, at 8:22:08
In reply to My Visit to Mental Ward...., posted by rjlockhart98 on June 28, 2005, at 21:28:14
Hi.
It is unfortunate that your mom is more of a hindrance than an asset to you in your efforts to recover and heal. I am fortunate that my parents always wanted to be positive. They didn't always understand or know what to do, but except for some moments of extreme frustrations, they have always supported me. It is possible that your mom knows no other way to be supportive. I'm sure she cares and wants to see you well, otherwise she would not have taken the time to visit you. She just doesn't know any other way to be. She is what she is.
Some people are sources of positive energy and can be of great help to aid others to move in a positive direction. Other people are toxic. They are sources of negative energy and drain others of positive energy. They hinder others from moving in a positive direction and often push them in a negative direction and promote disorder. Your mom is toxic.
So, what do you do?
You have already done it. You have done what is necessary to protect yourself. You are taking care of yourself.
I have no words of wisdom regarding the future of your relationship with your mother. It might help for you to sit down and write a letter to her. Include the fact that you love her. Tell her why you can't have her be around right now. Explain to her what hurts. Explain to her what would help. Be honest. Tell her everything. After you complete your letter, don't send it. Wait a few days. Then write another letter. Send that one if you feel comfortable with it and feel it would be helpful and not counterproductive.
- Scott
Posted by MidnightBlue on June 29, 2005, at 11:07:10
In reply to My Visit to Mental Ward...., posted by rjlockhart98 on June 28, 2005, at 21:28:14
Glad you went Matt. Actually it is a very good thing your Mom went with you. That way the evaluator saw first hand what she is really like!
If you had just told them about your Mom they might not have belived you, or thought you were exaggerating. Now they know you are telling the truth.
From reading some of your writings I had wondered if you might be bipolar. Anxiety can be a type of hypomania sometimes. It is definitely something to explore, and it is highly treatable with the right meds. Maybe that is why you haven't gotten any better. You weren't on the right meds.
There is an interesting book called "The Bipolar Child," I believe that's right. I know you aren't a kid anymore, but you could read it and see if you think the illustrations sound like you growing up. ADHD and bipolar can look a lot alike.
As far as seeing "real crazy" people. I think we all fear what we don't understand. If you haven't been there yourself be thankful.
Good luck,
MB
Posted by rjlockhart98 on June 29, 2005, at 11:17:32
In reply to My Visit to Mental Ward...., posted by rjlockhart98 on June 28, 2005, at 21:28:14
My mom IS poisen. You know what she does, instead of getting her own self evaluated, she locks up my meds and takes them.....Ativan she would only give me 'when needed', becuase that is what the doctor said, i know she took the rest.
You know, i tell her if you have a problem go and talk to a doctor. She directly shoots back and says...... I HAVE TOOO MUCH STRESS!! AND STOP TRYING TO BE A DANM DOCTOR! and walks off. It is IMPOSSIBLE to compromise with her, no doctor, she defiently gave this State Evaluator the facial look 'shut up'.
I have to stay with my parents becuase i dont have any money to move. Collage is starting.. i have to just tune her out.
Some 'inpatient' 'little out of reality' people started messing with her in the lobby.. ha.. she went to the bathroom and stayed there.
Well anyways, it wasnt a very worn down asylum, but the receptionists would say 'here he comes' of some man that was walking 'long strokes' and would change facial expressions every 7 seconds.. then whorrled into a couch beside me. I just grined and picked up a magazine..... he copied me, he was funny... you staying here with us? i should of said no, my mom will be...
But said no just for an evaulation... thats it. He said 'ahhhhh', finally some woman came to escort him back. He told me his name was finster, i said im matt. THen thrusted to the huge doors.
I really am glad that i am that i saw the differences, i am not insane. I am just nuerotic.
Good Visit.
Posted by ed_uk on June 29, 2005, at 11:32:39
In reply to Re: My Visit to Mental Ward...., posted by rjlockhart98 on June 29, 2005, at 11:17:32
Hi Matt :-)
Your mom sounds like a nightmare!
>i am not insane. I am just nuerotic.
Me too.
~Ed
PS. Some psych patients look unusual because they've got severe tardive dyskinesia from taking anti-psychotics. Don't be put off by people's involuntary movements.
Posted by Maxime on June 29, 2005, at 17:32:44
In reply to Re: My Visit to Mental Ward...., posted by SLS on June 29, 2005, at 6:39:11
Scott that is beautiful! :)
Maxime
> Even insane people are sane - just in their own way.
>
> Recently, somebody said to me that mentally ill people are not playing with a full deck. I quickly corrected him. I told him that they are indeed playing with full decks, although perhaps shuffled a little differently.
>
>
> - Scott
Posted by Phillipa on June 29, 2005, at 18:02:42
In reply to Re: My Visit to Mental Ward.... » SLS, posted by Maxime on June 29, 2005, at 17:32:44
Not only is it beautiful but you are blessed to have your family and significant other so supportive of you. My children on the other hand tend to use me and live their own lives. My ex-husband once said[he is alchoholic and probably bi-polar] that I would be a lonely old woman. I think he was right. My son once said when I'm really old and I asked directions he would guide me to a pier so I'd fall into the water. He wasn't kidding. I wanted my kids to be independant because my mother was sick my whole life and noone was ever there for me or to teach me anything. I swore I'd be different. No yelling, make own beds, wash own clothes, etc. I wanted them to be able to take care of themselves. I think I went overboard. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by Maxime on June 29, 2005, at 20:49:03
In reply to Re: My Visit to Mental Ward....SLS, posted by Phillipa on June 29, 2005, at 18:02:42
I think Scott would have the same wisdom and outlook and no matter. It's just who he is.
Phillipa I know you have been hurt, and so have I. But now I CHOOOSE not to let those things bother me anymore. We have to. We are responsible for how we react to what others say to us. Every once in a while I get upset or have a pity fest over something that was said to me, but for the most part I choose not to. I use my energy for more important things. Don't dwell on that crap, move forward. I'll try to continue to do the same.
Maxime
> Not only is it beautiful but you are blessed to have your family and significant other so supportive of you. My children on the other hand tend to use me and live their own lives. My ex-husband once said[he is alchoholic and probably bi-polar] that I would be a lonely old woman. I think he was right. My son once said when I'm really old and I asked directions he would guide me to a pier so I'd fall into the water. He wasn't kidding. I wanted my kids to be independant because my mother was sick my whole life and noone was ever there for me or to teach me anything. I swore I'd be different. No yelling, make own beds, wash own clothes, etc. I wanted them to be able to take care of themselves. I think I went overboard. Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by SLS on June 29, 2005, at 21:58:47
In reply to Re: My Visit to Mental Ward....SLS » Phillipa, posted by Maxime on June 29, 2005, at 20:49:03
> I think Scott would have the same wisdom and outlook and no matter. It's just who he is.
Thanks, Maxime. That means a lot to me. You are no slouch in the wisdom department either.
> I use my energy for more important things. Don't dwell on that crap, move forward. I'll try to continue to do the same.
Good.
Never give up, even when you must give in.
I would not tolerate well a world without you, Maxime. Man, would I be pissed. You had us all worried there for a little while. (Please don't place any blame on yourself for creating worry. That's what caring friends are for). I am so happy that you took care of yourself and reached out to us and used your support systems. I hope I have the wisdom and fortitude to do the same should I reach such a low point again. It is so easy to just isolate. I feel very fortunate that this website exists. At times, it was my best source of support.
I was going to say something else, but I forget what. Oh yeah, I like you. Stick around.
- Scott
Posted by Maxime on June 29, 2005, at 22:44:35
In reply to Re: My Visit to Mental Ward....SLS » Maxime, posted by SLS on June 29, 2005, at 21:58:47
Thank Scott. Same here. Sometimes I have to live second by second to stick around, but so far I have managed. I came close to leaving, but for some reason I am still here.
I like you too. We can be mental health stigma busters!!!! Come everyone, join us!
It's a revolution .....
Maxime ;)
>
> Never give up, even when you must give in.
>
> I would not tolerate well a world without you, Maxime. Man, would I be pissed. You had us all worried there for a little while. (Please don't place any blame on yourself for creating worry. That's what caring friends are for). I am so happy that you took care of yourself and reached out to us and used your support systems. I hope I have the wisdom and fortitude to do the same should I reach such a low point again. It is so easy to just isolate. I feel very fortunate that this website exists. At times, it was my best source of support.
>
> I was going to say something else, but I forget what. Oh yeah, I like you. Stick around.
>
>
> - Scott
Posted by Phillipa on June 29, 2005, at 22:52:55
In reply to Re: My Visit to Mental Ward....SLS, posted by Maxime on June 29, 2005, at 22:44:35
Hey! We could be the new Era of Hippies. Let's march on Washington! Fondly, Phillipa
Posted by Mr.Scott on June 30, 2005, at 0:10:43
In reply to My Visit to Mental Ward...., posted by rjlockhart98 on June 28, 2005, at 21:28:14
I'm not sure if insane means not knowing right from wrong or knowing the difference and still doing whats wrong. I personally think the latter is more important and detrimental.
I know how frustrating it can be to not get support where you might want it to come from the most (perhaps your mother in this case), but if you have faith and determination and a willingness to get better no matter what.. then I think you should have every reason to believe that you will get better.
Good Luck!
Scott
Posted by ed_uk on June 30, 2005, at 10:28:15
In reply to Re: My Visit to Mental Ward....SLS, posted by Maxime on June 29, 2005, at 22:44:35
Hi Maxie!
>We can be mental health stigma busters!!!!
I'm joining the movement! :-)
Ed xxx
Posted by Camille Dumont on July 1, 2005, at 15:08:40
In reply to My Visit to Mental Ward...., posted by rjlockhart98 on June 28, 2005, at 21:28:14
I know how it feels, the first time you have to set foot in a psychiatric ward. I remember when I had to go to an evaluation (it was that or be put on a 72h hold), just telling the cab driver to go to hospital x was horrible because everybody knows its the psychiatric hospital.
And then the forms where you consent to be treated and so on, feels like you're signing your life away ... and the doors, the fricking doors everywhere, even the offices have two doors with the doctor sitting with its back to a door and you comming in through the other. I could not help but think that this was his "escape route" in case I lost it.
During the whole interview my heartrate must have been through the roof I was so nervous. I was sooooo glad to get out ... but even on the way out, I remember a person got into my face and started to talk to me in some gibberish language I could not understand. It felt so ackward and out of this world.
Though I don't think there is such a thing as "real crazy" and "not crazy" people. I think they are people, just like us and if you take the time to try and understand them you find that they are just the same as you with needs, wants, interest and so on. I felt the same way about street kids and beggars and stuff but I got to spend a day with my sister helping at a place where they go to get a good night sleep and food and you know what, these kids were among the most intelligent and interesting people I have met.
But its probably a good thing that the doctor referred you to another one and they can treat whatever you have appropriately.
Sorry about your mom, I find that people get really strange then mental health comes in the picture. Some with deny it, minimize it or outright say that you lie. I think perhaps they think that if their kid has some mental illness then it must be something that they have done wrong. Thus any mental condition is like an threat to their parental adequacy.
Stay strong and take care.
> I went to Methodist Treatment Center, it looked like a very sophistacted facitlity, but when i walked there was people sitting with there arms crooked with a squiry smile at me..... i just grined and tried to get out of sight. I belive they where a little out of reality.
>
> I was psychiatricly evaluatuted by a State Certified Counseler of Texas, i was very relived that she told me 4 times that i was not insane, i have NONE symptoms.... of Schizophrenia. But symptoms of severe anxiety.... i hate that awnser. It is more than anxiety.
>
> My mom butted in, and threatend me if i didnt let her in the room. I consented to her. The first things she did was, Well this is WHAT IS GOING..... she flat out told her hush, this is not your evaluation, my mom gritted her teeth.... and said 'bitch' under her breath very lightly. She just ignored her....
>
> i got to really let out my symtoms, i told her do i have symptoms of Schizophrenia, she told me. She did say that i have symptoms of hypo-mania, and she referred me to another psychiatrist.
>
> It was a good visit, i thought they where going to lock me up. My mom really has a personality disorder i do not know of, she was told to be quiet during the session, because she would roll her eyes and say i was 'exaggerating', the evaluater rolled her eyes numerous times and told her this is not your evaluation. she boldy replied 'miss get to the point, i have to go and your wasting time'. She was asked to leave and sit in the lobby. Anger Problems....severe
>
> Anyway. I dont think im Bi poler, just extreme at times.
>
> I just am glad i am not insane. and was not going to have to be a 'inpatient' person, with real crazy people, lord they scared me.
>
> See you later guys.
>
> matt
Posted by cockeyed on July 4, 2005, at 1:55:03
In reply to My Visit to Mental Ward...., posted by rjlockhart98 on June 28, 2005, at 21:28:14
Oh, god, this is really scary. I got drunk and really flipped out on my wife. She sems to understand me quite a bit better when I'm not rational. I was enraged. I don't want the cops escorting me to some happy place.
I spent 12 hrs with "crazy" people. The scariest were the staff. Mean bastards. But the poor sick...oh, hell, some of the women were really nuts and I couldn't stand it. I was trying to satisfy my family that I would be a good boy. That is babysit.
I went home against medical advice AMA the pdoc who saw me called it. I hope I never see him again because I have a foul mouth and there are times when I use it. But the damn place scared me good. Trouble is, I've overdone the good boy trip and now it's being assumed that I'm going to "perform' I'm disabled and on tons of meds or so it seems. But not enuff anti depressants or tranks. I've got to calm down. Booze in moderation works...my idea of moderation is still having an inch in the bottle I've hidden. I'm an alcoholic and shouldn't drink. Lord does that infuriate me. Worse, I know AA will help...but for some reason I've developed a bad attitude. So it's therapy and drugs for me. And please dear god my wife has to learn no to pull her high and mighty sh*t with me. I think I mean she's go to realize I'm not on a leash. I've got that used-up, sucked dry feeling. I exist to take care of her biological progeny. That's a really cold way to put it...but she's way out in the cold now. Now to get numb and sleep. sorry for the rant, but I'm really in a dangerous mood and I don't want to do anything other than to be obnoxious but comfortably numb.Oh well, I made the choice. So now I've got to ignore that insistent voice in my head.I want to bust things up, smash and bash and thrash. Oh, can't swim because of surgery. Have to find another way. But not the mental ward. That is hell. cockeyed
Posted by crazy teresa on July 6, 2005, at 1:48:17
In reply to Re: My Visit to Mental Ward...., posted by cockeyed on July 4, 2005, at 1:55:03
Hope you're feeling better tonight! Something that could be helpful (maybe even fun!) for you--this Sat. go garage saling and get stuff you can take out in the back yard and bust up when you feel like you need to let off some steam. Won't cost much, so who cares if you're tearing the sh*t out of it? Kick it, throw it, bash it with a ballbat, run over it with your car, then light it on fire.
I've always wanted to stand in my kitchen and throw glass drinking glasses up against the wall when pissed. Never have because I'd just have to clean it up. However, the sound of splintering wood from cheaply made furniture is VERY satisfying....
crazy t
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Script revised: February 4, 2008
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