Shown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Basia on August 23, 2004, at 10:49:19
I feel so awful, I have been so depressed and getting worse and worse these past few weeks. I tried to switch to Abilify from Sulpiride and it was horrible - started getting really scarey hallucinations, insomnia and anxiety. I am back on my original dose of Sulpiride and have been for a week and a half and I feel so low, I am crying, felt such pain at work and feel as if I am really going mad again.
The 200mg of Lamictal really doesn't seem to be helping me or working anymore and it really saved my life from February onwards and enabled me to do a Masters.
Now I just feel it's all over. I am meant to go to a new country in Africa from the UK, in a month, and God knows how I'll cope.
It always comes back to this low or some hellish psychosis.
I feel so alone, i jsut cannot go on, i am so scared of more of this pain. I wish i had the courage to just kill myself as this merry go round of medication and pain has been going on for years, with some months brief respite.
I just hope it is a readjustment to the old medication and not a many months long hideous depression.
Please help.
Lyn
Posted by psychodad on August 23, 2004, at 11:13:12
In reply to Please help -feeling suicidal, posted by Basia on August 23, 2004, at 10:49:19
Basia,
I had to respond because my sisters name is also Basia, although reading your post was enough to want me to give you a hug. I really hope you stick through these tough times because you get appreciate the good times so much more if you do. I've gone through ups and downs in my med regime too, but am doing well now. Transitions can be hard.
It sounds like you have a lot to look forward to with your travels and adventures. It takes more courage to hold your head tall than to try suicide. Reach out to your friends for help. Talk even if you hate the world. It's suprising how sometimes when you most need it there is someone that says something our prompts you to "remember" or realize something that you forgot.
Remember what it is that keeps you going, makes you happy and satisfied and focus on that. The more positive you have in your life the less room there is to dwell in the negative.
Best wishes to you. One more thing, my sister was very suicidal as I was growing up, me being a bit older. Let ne tell you how rough it was for me, my family, and her friends. Don't forget about those who care for you.
Peace,
Jonathan
Posted by Sebastian on August 23, 2004, at 11:50:33
In reply to Please help -feeling suicidal, posted by Basia on August 23, 2004, at 10:49:19
I made a switch off zyprexa to abilify and back to zyprexa. It took me atleast 3 weeks to start feeling better. I actualy started feeling worse before feeling better, after stoping.
Posted by Basia on August 23, 2004, at 11:58:48
In reply to Re: Please help -feeling suicidal, posted by Sebastian on August 23, 2004, at 11:50:33
Thank you , Jonathan and Sebastian, for your comforting and helpful words. I feel slightly better now and .5 mg of Lorazepam has started to kick in.
I must get through this and hopefully it is all down to med changes.
I feel more determined to fight.
Thanks again,L
Posted by malthus on August 23, 2004, at 12:32:04
In reply to Re: Please help -feeling suicidal, posted by Basia on August 23, 2004, at 11:58:48
Oh dear Basia!
I had to write you. I'm glad the Xyprexa has kicked in for you. I started taking that 5 days ago and it is finally kicking in (I'm on a plethora of other meds but they just weren't touching the depression until the Xyprexa kicked in.). The summer I was 21 I was hospitalized for a suicide attempt. I was scheduled to go to Spain to study for a year. I DID NOT want to go but my mother was strongly for me going after the attempt and they didn't even put me on any meds. GOING ABROAD SAVED MY LIFE. I still felt depressed at the beginning but the change in culture was so distracting that I got better. The only "slip" I had one time was when I drank too much. (alcohol is the worst for depression for me.) I really hope you are still planning to go to South Africa because I truly believe it will help you. You are in my thoughts.
Be well,
malthus
Posted by alesta on August 23, 2004, at 13:28:14
In reply to Please help -feeling suicidal, posted by Basia on August 23, 2004, at 10:49:19
oh, lyn, sweetheart, i feel for you and am sorry you are in such pain. i can relate to your sadness..
i couldn't add much more to the previous responses, as they are wonderful advice. i just wanted to let you know that i feel for you, too, and wish you the best of luck in recovering. i know you will...:)
hang on...
hugs,
amy> I feel so awful, I have been so depressed and getting worse and worse these past few weeks. I tried to switch to Abilify from Sulpiride and it was horrible - started getting really scarey hallucinations, insomnia and anxiety. I am back on my original dose of Sulpiride and have been for a week and a half and I feel so low, I am crying, felt such pain at work and feel as if I am really going mad again.
> The 200mg of Lamictal really doesn't seem to be helping me or working anymore and it really saved my life from February onwards and enabled me to do a Masters.
> Now I just feel it's all over. I am meant to go to a new country in Africa from the UK, in a month, and God knows how I'll cope.
> It always comes back to this low or some hellish psychosis.
> I feel so alone, i jsut cannot go on, i am so scared of more of this pain. I wish i had the courage to just kill myself as this merry go round of medication and pain has been going on for years, with some months brief respite.
> I just hope it is a readjustment to the old medication and not a many months long hideous depression.
> Please help.
> Lyn
Posted by Basia on August 23, 2004, at 15:15:53
In reply to Re: Please help -feeling suicidal » Basia, posted by malthus on August 23, 2004, at 12:32:04
Thank you , Malthus!
that gives me hope...I often worry that i am going to suddenly go crazy in Sub Saharan Africa and there will be no one there to look after me or I'll get v depressed and have to come back...
But I have to go - i would regret it too much if i didn't.
I feel so much better and your kind words reminded me of all you warm wonderful people that care and have been through similar things, enabling you to help with such kind wisdom.
I am starting to realise that , no matter how bad it gets, talking, communicating, writing to others, exercise, some medical intervention like half a Valium (or more!) can only help matters and they have.No matter how depressing the past and present looks, we have to fight for a better future.
Thanks again,
take care,L
> Oh dear Basia!
>
> I had to write you. I'm glad the Xyprexa has kicked in for you. I started taking that 5 days ago and it is finally kicking in (I'm on a plethora of other meds but they just weren't touching the depression until the Xyprexa kicked in.). The summer I was 21 I was hospitalized for a suicide attempt. I was scheduled to go to Spain to study for a year. I DID NOT want to go but my mother was strongly for me going after the attempt and they didn't even put me on any meds. GOING ABROAD SAVED MY LIFE. I still felt depressed at the beginning but the change in culture was so distracting that I got better. The only "slip" I had one time was when I drank too much. (alcohol is the worst for depression for me.) I really hope you are still planning to go to South Africa because I truly believe it will help you. You are in my thoughts.
>
> Be well,
>
> malthus
Posted by iris2 on August 23, 2004, at 15:41:22
In reply to Please help -feeling suicidal, posted by Basia on August 23, 2004, at 10:49:19
> I feel so awful; I have been so depressed and getting worse and worse these past few weeks. I tried to switch to Abilify from Sulpiride and it was horrible - started getting really scarey hallucinations, insomnia and anxiety. I am back on my original dose of Sulpiride and have been for a week and a half and I feel so low, I am crying, felt such pain at work and feel as if I am really going mad again.
> The 200mg of Lamictal really doesn't seem to be helping me or working anymore and it really saved my life from February onwards and enabled me to do a Masters.
> Now I just feel it's all over. I am meant to go to a new country in Africa from the UK, in a month, and God knows how I'll cope.
> It always comes back to this low or some hellish psychosis.
> I feel so alone, i jsut cannot go on, i am so scared of more of this pain. I wish i had the courage to just kill myself as this merry go round of medication and pain has been going on for years, with some months brief respite.
> I just hope it is a readjustment to the old medication and not a many months long hideous depression.
> Please help.
> LynLyn,
I saw this post and had to respond. I am so glad the zyprexia is kicking in and helping.
It might be hard for you to believe but I was a little jealous of you. Having a masters and moving to Africa! I did attempt suicide recently. Since I am still here I had to try something else and I am beginning to feel better. Not a lot but glad to be around. I have been on this merry go round for thirty years. You know when you're not at the bottem it does seem worth it all!! You have so much to look forward to and a past with accomplishments. I hope you are feelings glad to be around and looking forward to such a great adventure.
irene
Posted by Jeroen on August 23, 2004, at 16:59:47
In reply to Re: Please help -feeling suicidal, posted by Sebastian on August 23, 2004, at 11:50:33
> I made a switch off zyprexa to abilify and back to zyprexa. It took me atleast 3 weeks to start feeling better. I actualy started feeling worse before feeling better, after stoping.
hey there buddy, the ABILIFY DID NOT WORK FOR ME
IM CURRENTLY ON GEODON BUT I EXPERIENCE EYE PROBLEMS LIKE THE ABILIFYIM now considering to change to ZYPREXA WITH AXID TO KILL THE HUNGER
have you ever tried this sebastian? it might cure the overeating! are you interested in a phone conversation with me? since you helped me a lot
thanks my email is [email protected] please contact me thanks
Posted by SAW on August 24, 2004, at 1:26:38
In reply to Re: Please help -feeling suicidal Malthus, posted by Basia on August 23, 2004, at 15:15:53
Dear Basia
I am moved by your post and understand what you are going through.
I am from South Africa and want to reassure you that we have strong support systems for depression sufferers. There will be someone to look after you, and there will always be someone who understands. I wish you the very best of luck with your travels and hope you find strength.
Regards
Sabrina
Posted by Basia on August 24, 2004, at 1:34:48
In reply to Re: Please help -feeling suicidal Malthus » Basia, posted by SAW on August 24, 2004, at 1:26:38
Dear Sabrina,
Thanks so much. Your post was touching and comforting. I am actually going to Kenya but it looks Nairobi is pretty well-equipped on the hospital/support system from the small research I have done on the internet.
I would love to visit South Africa though! It sounds so beautiful and interesting.
Thanks again,Lyn
> Dear Basia
>
> I am moved by your post and understand what you are going through.
>
> I am from South Africa and want to reassure you that we have strong support systems for depression sufferers. There will be someone to look after you, and there will always be someone who understands. I wish you the very best of luck with your travels and hope you find strength.
>
> Regards
> Sabrina
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