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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by aerobar on January 5, 2004, at 23:36:22
I am a 41 yr old female and am having to come accept that something is different about me. I was diagnosed as unipolar about 8 years ago and have been on various AD - now 40 mg Celexa. I've had 2 major depression episodes (never hospitalized).
Recently I was fired from my job (again). I 've been fired or quit jobs most of my life. After working at a job for a while, I begin to think I know more than my boss and take on more than I am assigned. I work late, and work hard. It really pisses off my bosses especially if I find solutions to problems they couldn't resolve, or better them up. I usually get fired for working outside my job duties.
I have changed careers numerous times, have numerous college degrees, and now that I am unemployed again, I am thinking of going back to school for another degree and another new career.
This time I am in real trouble because I have accumulated over $20,000 in credit card debt, bought a new truck on a whim with payments I can't afford, and am going to have to sell my house.
I have always abused charge cards and somehow managed to keep a good credit rating, but now I am slipping. My family is having to help me financially and they are not happy about it.
Furthermore, I have had an awful time sleeping for almost a year, and have often had to take sleeping pills to get some zzzzzz's.
Also, I have been using alcohol quite a bit lately. When I have a few drinks, I feel like a princess. I feel creative, sexy, smart, etc. I find that I look forward to these times. My friends and family have insisted I stop, so I am doing my best to attend AA. I get a few weeks sobriety, then suddenly have a couple glasses of wine and fall off the wagon.
Sometimes I hate myself and feel worthless and do not want to do anything. Other times I love life and am making creative plans for new adventures and projects. My toy box is full of new adventures - golf clubs, mountain bikes, skiis, camping gear, climbing gear, etc. Most of them I use, but some of the the purchases I am embarrassed about.
Since I lost my job over a month ago, I really can't sleep, am having serious memory problems, difficulty concentrating, and cannot stand noise (even the TV gets on my nerves)
Relationships? I had more than I care to admit. I get into really screwy relationships and can't seem to get out of them until the other person leaves. Then I feel abandoned, alone, and quickly go out and get into another or sleep around to build my self esteem.
Well, that is all for now. If anyone has any suggestions I would appreciate it. Thanks for letting me vent.
Posted by polarbear206 on January 6, 2004, at 7:40:35
In reply to Could I be bipolar or just insane?, posted by aerobar on January 5, 2004, at 23:36:22
> I am a 41 yr old female and am having to come accept that something is different about me. I was diagnosed as unipolar about 8 years ago and have been on various AD - now 40 mg Celexa. I've had 2 major depression episodes (never hospitalized).
>
> Recently I was fired from my job (again). I 've been fired or quit jobs most of my life. After working at a job for a while, I begin to think I know more than my boss and take on more than I am assigned. I work late, and work hard. It really pisses off my bosses especially if I find solutions to problems they couldn't resolve, or better them up. I usually get fired for working outside my job duties.
>
> I have changed careers numerous times, have numerous college degrees, and now that I am unemployed again, I am thinking of going back to school for another degree and another new career.
>
> This time I am in real trouble because I have accumulated over $20,000 in credit card debt, bought a new truck on a whim with payments I can't afford, and am going to have to sell my house.
>
> I have always abused charge cards and somehow managed to keep a good credit rating, but now I am slipping. My family is having to help me financially and they are not happy about it.
>
> Furthermore, I have had an awful time sleeping for almost a year, and have often had to take sleeping pills to get some zzzzzz's.
>
> Also, I have been using alcohol quite a bit lately. When I have a few drinks, I feel like a princess. I feel creative, sexy, smart, etc. I find that I look forward to these times. My friends and family have insisted I stop, so I am doing my best to attend AA. I get a few weeks sobriety, then suddenly have a couple glasses of wine and fall off the wagon.
>
> Sometimes I hate myself and feel worthless and do not want to do anything. Other times I love life and am making creative plans for new adventures and projects. My toy box is full of new adventures - golf clubs, mountain bikes, skiis, camping gear, climbing gear, etc. Most of them I use, but some of the the purchases I am embarrassed about.
>
> Since I lost my job over a month ago, I really can't sleep, am having serious memory problems, difficulty concentrating, and cannot stand noise (even the TV gets on my nerves)
>
> Relationships? I had more than I care to admit. I get into really screwy relationships and can't seem to get out of them until the other person leaves. Then I feel abandoned, alone, and quickly go out and get into another or sleep around to build my self esteem.
>
> Well, that is all for now. If anyone has any suggestions I would appreciate it. Thanks for letting me vent.
>
>
Hi
What you have described above is classic behaviors
of bipolar depression. There is a broad spectrum to bipoar disorders. Using only an antidepressant will exacerbate your mood cycling. This can worsen over time if not properly diagnosed and treated. I would suggest you get some blood work done by your family doctor to rule out other disorders that can
mimmick bipolar. Educate yourself. You have come to the right place for support. Very well educated people here! A good book to read is "Why Your Depression Isn't Getting Better" by Michael R. Bartos MD.Good sites to check out
Pycheducation.org and Dr. Goldberg's site Depression Central
Posted by brussell on January 6, 2004, at 8:00:15
In reply to Re: Could I be bipolar or just insane?, posted by polarbear206 on January 6, 2004, at 7:40:35
You're definitely not insane! You're way too high functioning for that.
I agree that your behavior sounds like Bipolar disorder. Your problems at work sound like the result of mania or hypomania. AD's alone will not help you--and can make your symptoms worse.
You need to see a psychiatrist who has experience with bipolar conditions. In my opinion, you need some sort of mood stabilizer. That might include lithium or Depakote, or maybe one of the new drugs like Lamictal.
It is normal for persons with untreated Bipolar disorder to feel "crazy," since their moods and behavior are so impossible to predict.
The good news is that Bipolar disorder is very treatable. With an accurate diagnosis and correct treatment, I think you may feel better and more effective personally and professionally than you have in many years.
Good Luck!
Posted by leopard on January 6, 2004, at 11:04:41
In reply to Could I be bipolar or just insane?, posted by aerobar on January 5, 2004, at 23:36:22
You're not insane, just BP. The question for you is whether or not you are BPI or BPII. The meds to treat I and II are markedly different, but there are a few overlapping meds too.
Good luck in your journey to mental wellness...keep posting and don't give up...it took me 10 long years (much of my past could substitute for yours) to finally get the correct diagnosis, BPII.
Regardless of your diagnosis, take your fish oil...I recommend Carlson's fish oil. You can buy it at www.mercola.com. It's good for your brain regardless of your diagnosis. Also, take your vitamins, try to limit caffeine, and go for a walk once a day...I swear by this formula.
BTW, the med that worked for me is Geodon.
~Shannon
Posted by aerobar on January 6, 2004, at 13:03:32
In reply to Re: Could I be bipolar or just insane?, posted by polarbear206 on January 6, 2004, at 7:40:35
If AD's alone can actually exacerbate my condition, then perhaps I should taper my celexa?
My fear is I will crash and put myself into a critical major depression.
It can be difficult trying to self-medicate or diagnose. Unfortunately psychiatric care is too costly without insurance. When I called our local social health services they told me that I needed to be suicidal to get assistance.
Any suggestions?
Posted by KathrynLex on January 6, 2004, at 13:36:23
In reply to Re: Could I be bipolar or just insane? » aerobar, posted by leopard on January 6, 2004, at 11:04:41
I would encourage you to seek treatment. A good pdoc along with the right medication can really do wonders. Best of luck!
Posted by polarbear206 on January 6, 2004, at 14:53:18
In reply to Re: Could I be bipolar or just insane?, posted by aerobar on January 6, 2004, at 13:03:32
> If AD's alone can actually exacerbate my condition, then perhaps I should taper my celexa?
>
> My fear is I will crash and put myself into a critical major depression.
>
> It can be difficult trying to self-medicate or diagnose. Unfortunately psychiatric care is too costly without insurance. When I called our local social health services they told me that I needed to be suicidal to get assistance.
>
> Any suggestions?
>
>
>The most important thing to do is to get started on a mood stabilizer asap. Your doctor will gradually taper you down on the Celexa when your moods even out. I'm bipolar and need an AD in addition to my Lamictal
(mood stabilizer). I have a "soft" bipolar 2. I mood cycle when the seasons change and have some cycle with my periods. Many people with bipolar 2 need an AD in addition to a mood stabilizer.
Posted by Karen_kay on January 6, 2004, at 16:36:06
In reply to Re: Could I be bipolar or just insane?, posted by aerobar on January 6, 2004, at 13:03:32
When I called our local social health services they told me that I needed to be suicidal to get assistance.
*Is there a community mental health service there? Or one that operates based on income? Can you talk to your doctor and find out about assistance for your medication? I'd start with your MD and ask questions. Also, search the internet for free meds. There are sites for that too. But, I think the first place to start is with your MD. That's who first dx me as Bipolar. And I tried every AD. I can't believe my last doctor didn't catch it....
Anyway, sorry :) Start with your current MD and ask questions. S/he should be able to help...
Posted by sarita0001 on January 6, 2004, at 17:59:59
In reply to Could I be bipolar or just insane?, posted by aerobar on January 5, 2004, at 23:36:22
Hi,
I have a different opinion than all the previous ones and maybe totally off the mark. I was dx bipolar at 17 after a manic episode but always had a history of anxiety since childhood and was later diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder also.
It sounds like you're kind of a perfectionist and that you always need to stay busy. Those sound like symptoms of OCD. Needing to stay constantly busy usually subconsciouly prevents a person from thinking about whatever is making them anxious.
I always had trouble sleeping and thought it was because of the BP but really it was because I was so anxious thinking about things. You might drink when around others if you feel self-conscious or anxious around other people.So you might be bipolar or OCD or both. The spending is a trait of BP but it can be compulsive behavior due to anxiety. Anxiety often accompanies BP. My dad was OCD and his debt was awful at one point.
That's just what I think but of course it would be best to ask a doctor.Best of luck to you.
Sara
Posted by T_R_D on January 7, 2004, at 11:43:44
In reply to Could I be bipolar or just insane?, posted by aerobar on January 5, 2004, at 23:36:22
Wow. You and I should meet! A lot of what you describe sounds exactly like me at various points in my life.
I too was diagnosed as unipolar for several years and now am "officially" bipolar (trumpets, please...)! There's a lot to be said for the Bipolar Spectrum as well...room for all of us, it seems. It's frustrating as we've always been shown a model of bipolar (aka manic depression in the good ol' days) as someone who swings from the rafters and acts, well, as you said yourself "insane." One of the most useful phrases I've ever read is this: Mania is not the opposite of depression. At times I've even been in "mixed states" where depression and mania have coexisted in one LOVELY package. Now that should the definition of insane! LOL
I am currently taking Tegretol with Wellbutrin. I was on Celexa too but it was giving me some hypomania problems and I went down the self-medication highway far too many times whole on it only for a couple of months. I'm feeling quite stable now...fingers crossed!
Do you have a regular physician? A pdoc? Too bad to hear that your local resources haven't been too helpful.
I would suggest you tell all the stuff you've mentioned here to your med. professional ASAP. Keep me/us posted!
Good luck,
Karen
This is the end of the thread.
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