Shown: posts 1 to 21 of 21. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by bluesfan on December 30, 2003, at 12:24:25
I just wanted to know about how long it took for your thoughts of death to get better? I realize you may still be going through this currently on your Lexapro, but I thought maybe you had an idea of how long it took for you to get better on the Celexa. This week has been as bad as before I was on the medicine, and I'm definitely looking for some encouragement. The Lexapro has really thrown me for a loop this week, and all I want to do is stay in bed!
Posted by nicky847 on December 30, 2003, at 13:32:18
In reply to Nicky847, posted by bluesfan on December 30, 2003, at 12:24:25
Hi bluesfan...
If I asked you not to think of a pink buffalo in a ballerina suit..and i would give you a million dollars to NOT think about a pink buffalo in a ballerina suit..you wouldnt be able to not think of it..thats what you are going through now with these thoughts..you are trying so hard not to think these thoughts that it is impossible NOT to think them..does that make sense?
Heres the thing with the thoughts..and how you will know you have won your battle with them...
you have won not when you stop having them..but when you stop being afraid of them ...when you know you are really really getting better..you may still have these thoughts from time to time...but you KNOW that all it is, is a thought, and that it will not hurt you..and that YOU will not hurt you..the thoughts are like a gory picture hanging on a wall in a museum and nothing more..you look at it..know it is only a picture..and move past it to the next picture..
then when you are able to disqualify these thoughts as the mental waste products of an overload of adrenaline, cortisol, and whatever nasty chemicals your body is currently producing, you will find you have them less and less often, until you stop having them all together..this process takes about 3 to 4 months..although right now at your stage in your med therapy you are at the absolute worst point..after this week and maybe the next 1 or 2 weeks you should notice an improvement...crazy as it sounds you GET USED TO IT..and when you do it goes away..an important thing to do is continue to live your life..dont try and do things in a feverish manner to take your mind off things..but do things you enjoy a little at a time..these thoughts cause discomfort and nothing more...you CAN function with them!
> I just wanted to know about how long it took for your thoughts of death to get better? I realize you may still be going through this currently on your Lexapro, but I thought maybe you had an idea of how long it took for you to get better on the Celexa. This week has been as bad as before I was on the medicine, and I'm definitely looking for some encouragement. The Lexapro has really thrown me for a loop this week, and all I want to do is stay in bed!
Posted by nicky847 on December 30, 2003, at 13:41:41
In reply to Re: Nicky847, posted by nicky847 on December 30, 2003, at 13:32:18
Bluesfan-
I also meant to ask you are you currently seeing a therapist? I think talk therapy could really help you through this rough time you are having...people like you who are honest about what they are experiencing can really benefit from seeing a therapist..I think it is very brave of you to be up front about the thoughts you are having...the first time I went thru this I was too scared to tell anyone about the thoughts I was having..then I read in a book "From Panic to Power" by Lucinda Bassett that these thoughts were a common symptom of anxiety disorder and that they did NOT mean that you were homicidal or suicidal...those words were a godsend for me..> Hi bluesfan...
>
> If I asked you not to think of a pink buffalo in a ballerina suit..and i would give you a million dollars to NOT think about a pink buffalo in a ballerina suit..you wouldnt be able to not think of it..thats what you are going through now with these thoughts..you are trying so hard not to think these thoughts that it is impossible NOT to think them..does that make sense?
>
> Heres the thing with the thoughts..and how you will know you have won your battle with them...
>
> you have won not when you stop having them..but when you stop being afraid of them ...when you know you are really really getting better..you may still have these thoughts from time to time...but you KNOW that all it is, is a thought, and that it will not hurt you..and that YOU will not hurt you..the thoughts are like a gory picture hanging on a wall in a museum and nothing more..you look at it..know it is only a picture..and move past it to the next picture..
>
>
> then when you are able to disqualify these thoughts as the mental waste products of an overload of adrenaline, cortisol, and whatever nasty chemicals your body is currently producing, you will find you have them less and less often, until you stop having them all together..this process takes about 3 to 4 months..although right now at your stage in your med therapy you are at the absolute worst point..after this week and maybe the next 1 or 2 weeks you should notice an improvement...crazy as it sounds you GET USED TO IT..and when you do it goes away..
>
> an important thing to do is continue to live your life..dont try and do things in a feverish manner to take your mind off things..but do things you enjoy a little at a time..these thoughts cause discomfort and nothing more...you CAN function with them!
>
>
>
> > I just wanted to know about how long it took for your thoughts of death to get better? I realize you may still be going through this currently on your Lexapro, but I thought maybe you had an idea of how long it took for you to get better on the Celexa. This week has been as bad as before I was on the medicine, and I'm definitely looking for some encouragement. The Lexapro has really thrown me for a loop this week, and all I want to do is stay in bed!
>
>
Posted by bluesfan on December 30, 2003, at 13:59:26
In reply to Re: Nicky847, posted by nicky847 on December 30, 2003, at 13:41:41
Thanks again for your words of encouragement. Today has definitely been the worst day for me.....can't seem to get things out of my mind. I wish I could think more of hurting myself than others at this point.....if that makes any sense. I'm afraid to be around my wife right now because I'm afraid I will hurt her......even though I would NEVER want to. I would have an easier time thinking of myself being dead than her......maybe that is why I'm thinking of her the most. I called to get an appointment with a therapist today, but the earliest I can get an appointment is January 26th......so talking to you on here is pretty much all I've got. I'm doing okay at work today......but my thoughts are now taking over, soon to lead to an anxiety attack I'm sure. I just want very badly for this to be over!
> Bluesfan-
> I also meant to ask you are you currently seeing a therapist? I think talk therapy could really help you through this rough time you are having...people like you who are honest about what they are experiencing can really benefit from seeing a therapist..I think it is very brave of you to be up front about the thoughts you are having...the first time I went thru this I was too scared to tell anyone about the thoughts I was having..then I read in a book "From Panic to Power" by Lucinda Bassett that these thoughts were a common symptom of anxiety disorder and that they did NOT mean that you were homicidal or suicidal...those words were a godsend for me..
>
> > Hi bluesfan...
> >
> > If I asked you not to think of a pink buffalo in a ballerina suit..and i would give you a million dollars to NOT think about a pink buffalo in a ballerina suit..you wouldnt be able to not think of it..thats what you are going through now with these thoughts..you are trying so hard not to think these thoughts that it is impossible NOT to think them..does that make sense?
> >
> > Heres the thing with the thoughts..and how you will know you have won your battle with them...
> >
> > you have won not when you stop having them..but when you stop being afraid of them ...when you know you are really really getting better..you may still have these thoughts from time to time...but you KNOW that all it is, is a thought, and that it will not hurt you..and that YOU will not hurt you..the thoughts are like a gory picture hanging on a wall in a museum and nothing more..you look at it..know it is only a picture..and move past it to the next picture..
> >
> >
> > then when you are able to disqualify these thoughts as the mental waste products of an overload of adrenaline, cortisol, and whatever nasty chemicals your body is currently producing, you will find you have them less and less often, until you stop having them all together..this process takes about 3 to 4 months..although right now at your stage in your med therapy you are at the absolute worst point..after this week and maybe the next 1 or 2 weeks you should notice an improvement...crazy as it sounds you GET USED TO IT..and when you do it goes away..
> >
> > an important thing to do is continue to live your life..dont try and do things in a feverish manner to take your mind off things..but do things you enjoy a little at a time..these thoughts cause discomfort and nothing more...you CAN function with them!
> >
> >
> >
> > > I just wanted to know about how long it took for your thoughts of death to get better? I realize you may still be going through this currently on your Lexapro, but I thought maybe you had an idea of how long it took for you to get better on the Celexa. This week has been as bad as before I was on the medicine, and I'm definitely looking for some encouragement. The Lexapro has really thrown me for a loop this week, and all I want to do is stay in bed!
> >
> >
>
>
Posted by nicky847 on December 30, 2003, at 14:16:40
In reply to Re: Nicky847, posted by bluesfan on December 30, 2003, at 13:59:26
Well just post away whenever you start to feel overwhelmed..I can lend my experience to you as can many others here..talking about how you feel helps so much..
One thing I can't stress enough is that right now you are in the thick of the woods...the 2nd week on Lex is very difficult...I venture to say you may feel worse now then before you started on the med..thats normal..and its normal to want to feel better NOW! have you tried keeping a journal? i feel that just writing down notes about how i feel on a given day helps me detach from my symptoms a little bit..and look at them as symptoms of an illness im recovering from rather than a part of who i am...
i wish i could tell you a magic thought that would help this time go by faster or eaiser..but unfortunately the panacea for this is time..you WILL recover...and when you do you will feel better than you ever have..recovering from this will change your life..and it will change it for the better..i know it sucks more than words can express right now...but 6 months from now when you look back on this time in your life, you will be thankful for the experience...
> Thanks again for your words of encouragement. Today has definitely been the worst day for me.....can't seem to get things out of my mind. I wish I could think more of hurting myself than others at this point.....if that makes any sense. I'm afraid to be around my wife right now because I'm afraid I will hurt her......even though I would NEVER want to. I would have an easier time thinking of myself being dead than her......maybe that is why I'm thinking of her the most. I called to get an appointment with a therapist today, but the earliest I can get an appointment is January 26th......so talking to you on here is pretty much all I've got. I'm doing okay at work today......but my thoughts are now taking over, soon to lead to an anxiety attack I'm sure. I just want very badly for this to be over!
>
> > Bluesfan-
> > I also meant to ask you are you currently seeing a therapist? I think talk therapy could really help you through this rough time you are having...people like you who are honest about what they are experiencing can really benefit from seeing a therapist..I think it is very brave of you to be up front about the thoughts you are having...the first time I went thru this I was too scared to tell anyone about the thoughts I was having..then I read in a book "From Panic to Power" by Lucinda Bassett that these thoughts were a common symptom of anxiety disorder and that they did NOT mean that you were homicidal or suicidal...those words were a godsend for me..
> >
> > > Hi bluesfan...
> > >
> > > If I asked you not to think of a pink buffalo in a ballerina suit..and i would give you a million dollars to NOT think about a pink buffalo in a ballerina suit..you wouldnt be able to not think of it..thats what you are going through now with these thoughts..you are trying so hard not to think these thoughts that it is impossible NOT to think them..does that make sense?
> > >
> > > Heres the thing with the thoughts..and how you will know you have won your battle with them...
> > >
> > > you have won not when you stop having them..but when you stop being afraid of them ...when you know you are really really getting better..you may still have these thoughts from time to time...but you KNOW that all it is, is a thought, and that it will not hurt you..and that YOU will not hurt you..the thoughts are like a gory picture hanging on a wall in a museum and nothing more..you look at it..know it is only a picture..and move past it to the next picture..
> > >
> > >
> > > then when you are able to disqualify these thoughts as the mental waste products of an overload of adrenaline, cortisol, and whatever nasty chemicals your body is currently producing, you will find you have them less and less often, until you stop having them all together..this process takes about 3 to 4 months..although right now at your stage in your med therapy you are at the absolute worst point..after this week and maybe the next 1 or 2 weeks you should notice an improvement...crazy as it sounds you GET USED TO IT..and when you do it goes away..
> > >
> > > an important thing to do is continue to live your life..dont try and do things in a feverish manner to take your mind off things..but do things you enjoy a little at a time..these thoughts cause discomfort and nothing more...you CAN function with them!
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > > > I just wanted to know about how long it took for your thoughts of death to get better? I realize you may still be going through this currently on your Lexapro, but I thought maybe you had an idea of how long it took for you to get better on the Celexa. This week has been as bad as before I was on the medicine, and I'm definitely looking for some encouragement. The Lexapro has really thrown me for a loop this week, and all I want to do is stay in bed!
> > >
> > >
> >
> >
>
>
Posted by bluesfan on December 30, 2003, at 14:24:45
In reply to Re: Nicky847, posted by nicky847 on December 30, 2003, at 14:16:40
I read a little bit of the book by Lucinda Bassett on Amazon.com and it looks great. Her panic attacks are EXACTLY what I've gone through for a few years now. Maybe I've had this problem coming on for longer than I've thought! I will probably try to run by the mall tonight and get a copy if I feel like it. I've also been reading a book called "How to win over depression". It is by a Christian writer and it has helped me as well to focus on God. I know that He will make me a better person from all of this.....it is just a matter of getting through it. Reading seems to help me....something I've always hated doing in the past! Can I ask what your age is? I'm just curious how long it took for you to realize you had these symptoms. I'm only 24.....but I may have been leading up to this much longer than I thought!
> Well just post away whenever you start to feel overwhelmed..I can lend my experience to you as can many others here..talking about how you feel helps so much..
>
> One thing I can't stress enough is that right now you are in the thick of the woods...the 2nd week on Lex is very difficult...I venture to say you may feel worse now then before you started on the med..thats normal..and its normal to want to feel better NOW! have you tried keeping a journal? i feel that just writing down notes about how i feel on a given day helps me detach from my symptoms a little bit..and look at them as symptoms of an illness im recovering from rather than a part of who i am...
>
> i wish i could tell you a magic thought that would help this time go by faster or eaiser..but unfortunately the panacea for this is time..you WILL recover...and when you do you will feel better than you ever have..recovering from this will change your life..and it will change it for the better..i know it sucks more than words can express right now...but 6 months from now when you look back on this time in your life, you will be thankful for the experience...
>
> > Thanks again for your words of encouragement. Today has definitely been the worst day for me.....can't seem to get things out of my mind. I wish I could think more of hurting myself than others at this point.....if that makes any sense. I'm afraid to be around my wife right now because I'm afraid I will hurt her......even though I would NEVER want to. I would have an easier time thinking of myself being dead than her......maybe that is why I'm thinking of her the most. I called to get an appointment with a therapist today, but the earliest I can get an appointment is January 26th......so talking to you on here is pretty much all I've got. I'm doing okay at work today......but my thoughts are now taking over, soon to lead to an anxiety attack I'm sure. I just want very badly for this to be over!
> >
> > > Bluesfan-
> > > I also meant to ask you are you currently seeing a therapist? I think talk therapy could really help you through this rough time you are having...people like you who are honest about what they are experiencing can really benefit from seeing a therapist..I think it is very brave of you to be up front about the thoughts you are having...the first time I went thru this I was too scared to tell anyone about the thoughts I was having..then I read in a book "From Panic to Power" by Lucinda Bassett that these thoughts were a common symptom of anxiety disorder and that they did NOT mean that you were homicidal or suicidal...those words were a godsend for me..
> > >
> > > > Hi bluesfan...
> > > >
> > > > If I asked you not to think of a pink buffalo in a ballerina suit..and i would give you a million dollars to NOT think about a pink buffalo in a ballerina suit..you wouldnt be able to not think of it..thats what you are going through now with these thoughts..you are trying so hard not to think these thoughts that it is impossible NOT to think them..does that make sense?
> > > >
> > > > Heres the thing with the thoughts..and how you will know you have won your battle with them...
> > > >
> > > > you have won not when you stop having them..but when you stop being afraid of them ...when you know you are really really getting better..you may still have these thoughts from time to time...but you KNOW that all it is, is a thought, and that it will not hurt you..and that YOU will not hurt you..the thoughts are like a gory picture hanging on a wall in a museum and nothing more..you look at it..know it is only a picture..and move past it to the next picture..
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > then when you are able to disqualify these thoughts as the mental waste products of an overload of adrenaline, cortisol, and whatever nasty chemicals your body is currently producing, you will find you have them less and less often, until you stop having them all together..this process takes about 3 to 4 months..although right now at your stage in your med therapy you are at the absolute worst point..after this week and maybe the next 1 or 2 weeks you should notice an improvement...crazy as it sounds you GET USED TO IT..and when you do it goes away..
> > > >
> > > > an important thing to do is continue to live your life..dont try and do things in a feverish manner to take your mind off things..but do things you enjoy a little at a time..these thoughts cause discomfort and nothing more...you CAN function with them!
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > > I just wanted to know about how long it took for your thoughts of death to get better? I realize you may still be going through this currently on your Lexapro, but I thought maybe you had an idea of how long it took for you to get better on the Celexa. This week has been as bad as before I was on the medicine, and I'm definitely looking for some encouragement. The Lexapro has really thrown me for a loop this week, and all I want to do is stay in bed!
> > > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> >
> >
>
>
Posted by Tootercat on December 30, 2003, at 14:51:17
In reply to Re: Nicky847, posted by bluesfan on December 30, 2003, at 14:24:45
Hello Nicky and bluesfan,
I am not on the same a/d as you guys; I'm on Zoloft and maybe changing to Prozac. However I have been going thru the same type of hell in the last week. I just started the meds 12/22 because I hit an emotional and physical bottom and this past weekend I had multiple panic attacks where all I wanted to do was die. I have the complete program that Lucinda Basset did called "Attacking Anxiety" which consists of 16 tapes covering all kinds of helpful information and a relaxation tape to combat these attacks. (I bought it 10 years ago when I was then battling depression)Thank GOD I still have it and found it on Sunday. I am going thru a divorce and am living on my own for the first time in my life and i'm 46. I had no idea that the transition would be so hard. I am also in a 12 step program which has given me so much wonderful support. Blues make sure you have a network of support if you can...it makes a huge difference. If I had to do this on my own I would probably not be here typing to you.
> I read a little bit of the book by Lucinda Bassett on Amazon.com and it looks great. Her panic attacks are EXACTLY what I've gone through for a few years now. Maybe I've had this problem coming on for longer than I've thought! I will probably try to run by the mall tonight and get a copy if I feel like it. I've also been reading a book called "How to win over depression". It is by a Christian writer and it has helped me as well to focus on God. I know that He will make me a better person from all of this.....it is just a matter of getting through it. Reading seems to help me....something I've always hated doing in the past! Can I ask what your age is? I'm just curious how long it took for you to realize you had these symptoms. I'm only 24.....but I may have been leading up to this much longer than I thought!
>
> > Well just post away whenever you start to feel overwhelmed..I can lend my experience to you as can many others here..talking about how you feel helps so much..
> >
> > One thing I can't stress enough is that right now you are in the thick of the woods...the 2nd week on Lex is very difficult...I venture to say you may feel worse now then before you started on the med..thats normal..and its normal to want to feel better NOW! have you tried keeping a journal? i feel that just writing down notes about how i feel on a given day helps me detach from my symptoms a little bit..and look at them as symptoms of an illness im recovering from rather than a part of who i am...
> >
> > i wish i could tell you a magic thought that would help this time go by faster or eaiser..but unfortunately the panacea for this is time..you WILL recover...and when you do you will feel better than you ever have..recovering from this will change your life..and it will change it for the better..i know it sucks more than words can express right now...but 6 months from now when you look back on this time in your life, you will be thankful for the experience...
> >
> > > Thanks again for your words of encouragement. Today has definitely been the worst day for me.....can't seem to get things out of my mind. I wish I could think more of hurting myself than others at this point.....if that makes any sense. I'm afraid to be around my wife right now because I'm afraid I will hurt her......even though I would NEVER want to. I would have an easier time thinking of myself being dead than her......maybe that is why I'm thinking of her the most. I called to get an appointment with a therapist today, but the earliest I can get an appointment is January 26th......so talking to you on here is pretty much all I've got. I'm doing okay at work today......but my thoughts are now taking over, soon to lead to an anxiety attack I'm sure. I just want very badly for this to be over!
> > >
> > > > Bluesfan-
> > > > I also meant to ask you are you currently seeing a therapist? I think talk therapy could really help you through this rough time you are having...people like you who are honest about what they are experiencing can really benefit from seeing a therapist..I think it is very brave of you to be up front about the thoughts you are having...the first time I went thru this I was too scared to tell anyone about the thoughts I was having..then I read in a book "From Panic to Power" by Lucinda Bassett that these thoughts were a common symptom of anxiety disorder and that they did NOT mean that you were homicidal or suicidal...those words were a godsend for me..
> > > >
> > > > > Hi bluesfan...
> > > > >
> > > > > If I asked you not to think of a pink buffalo in a ballerina suit..and i would give you a million dollars to NOT think about a pink buffalo in a ballerina suit..you wouldnt be able to not think of it..thats what you are going through now with these thoughts..you are trying so hard not to think these thoughts that it is impossible NOT to think them..does that make sense?
> > > > >
> > > > > Heres the thing with the thoughts..and how you will know you have won your battle with them...
> > > > >
> > > > > you have won not when you stop having them..but when you stop being afraid of them ...when you know you are really really getting better..you may still have these thoughts from time to time...but you KNOW that all it is, is a thought, and that it will not hurt you..and that YOU will not hurt you..the thoughts are like a gory picture hanging on a wall in a museum and nothing more..you look at it..know it is only a picture..and move past it to the next picture..
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > then when you are able to disqualify these thoughts as the mental waste products of an overload of adrenaline, cortisol, and whatever nasty chemicals your body is currently producing, you will find you have them less and less often, until you stop having them all together..this process takes about 3 to 4 months..although right now at your stage in your med therapy you are at the absolute worst point..after this week and maybe the next 1 or 2 weeks you should notice an improvement...crazy as it sounds you GET USED TO IT..and when you do it goes away..
> > > > >
> > > > > an important thing to do is continue to live your life..dont try and do things in a feverish manner to take your mind off things..but do things you enjoy a little at a time..these thoughts cause discomfort and nothing more...you CAN function with them!
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > > I just wanted to know about how long it took for your thoughts of death to get better? I realize you may still be going through this currently on your Lexapro, but I thought maybe you had an idea of how long it took for you to get better on the Celexa. This week has been as bad as before I was on the medicine, and I'm definitely looking for some encouragement. The Lexapro has really thrown me for a loop this week, and all I want to do is stay in bed!
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> >
> >
>
>
Posted by nicky847 on December 30, 2003, at 14:56:24
In reply to Re: Nicky847, posted by bluesfan on December 30, 2003, at 14:24:45
Great! You should get that Lucinda Bassett book..it was the single most helpful thing I have ever read..its a quick read too..
Didn't know if you were into Christian literature but since you are I also suggest picking up "The Purpose Driven Life"...it has been the #1 NY Times best seller for a while now and it has helped me get on top of the depression part of anxiety/depression this time around..
I'm 28 years old...I had my first panic attack when I was 25...I had always been a worrier but never to the point where I felt sick or had panic attacks..so right about the same age as you..mine were brought on by breaking up with my ex-fiancee whom i was living with..my mom had panic attacks too..and they started shortly after she had me and my brother..i believe she was about 26 years old when she started having them..have you been married long? sometimes a major life change brings on these symptoms..whether it is a positive change or a negative one really doesnt matter..for me this time it was changing jobs after i had been at my old one for 5 years..that and getting off of celexa...those two things independently i think i would have been ok with..but together at the same time was a bad coincidence..
> I read a little bit of the book by Lucinda Bassett on Amazon.com and it looks great. Her panic attacks are EXACTLY what I've gone through for a few years now. Maybe I've had this problem coming on for longer than I've thought! I will probably try to run by the mall tonight and get a copy if I feel like it. I've also been reading a book called "How to win over depression". It is by a Christian writer and it has helped me as well to focus on God. I know that He will make me a better person from all of this.....it is just a matter of getting through it. Reading seems to help me....something I've always hated doing in the past! Can I ask what your age is? I'm just curious how long it took for you to realize you had these symptoms. I'm only 24.....but I may have been leading up to this much longer than I thought!
>
> > Well just post away whenever you start to feel overwhelmed..I can lend my experience to you as can many others here..talking about how you feel helps so much..
> >
> > One thing I can't stress enough is that right now you are in the thick of the woods...the 2nd week on Lex is very difficult...I venture to say you may feel worse now then before you started on the med..thats normal..and its normal to want to feel better NOW! have you tried keeping a journal? i feel that just writing down notes about how i feel on a given day helps me detach from my symptoms a little bit..and look at them as symptoms of an illness im recovering from rather than a part of who i am...
> >
> > i wish i could tell you a magic thought that would help this time go by faster or eaiser..but unfortunately the panacea for this is time..you WILL recover...and when you do you will feel better than you ever have..recovering from this will change your life..and it will change it for the better..i know it sucks more than words can express right now...but 6 months from now when you look back on this time in your life, you will be thankful for the experience...
> >
> > > Thanks again for your words of encouragement. Today has definitely been the worst day for me.....can't seem to get things out of my mind. I wish I could think more of hurting myself than others at this point.....if that makes any sense. I'm afraid to be around my wife right now because I'm afraid I will hurt her......even though I would NEVER want to. I would have an easier time thinking of myself being dead than her......maybe that is why I'm thinking of her the most. I called to get an appointment with a therapist today, but the earliest I can get an appointment is January 26th......so talking to you on here is pretty much all I've got. I'm doing okay at work today......but my thoughts are now taking over, soon to lead to an anxiety attack I'm sure. I just want very badly for this to be over!
> > >
> > > > Bluesfan-
> > > > I also meant to ask you are you currently seeing a therapist? I think talk therapy could really help you through this rough time you are having...people like you who are honest about what they are experiencing can really benefit from seeing a therapist..I think it is very brave of you to be up front about the thoughts you are having...the first time I went thru this I was too scared to tell anyone about the thoughts I was having..then I read in a book "From Panic to Power" by Lucinda Bassett that these thoughts were a common symptom of anxiety disorder and that they did NOT mean that you were homicidal or suicidal...those words were a godsend for me..
> > > >
> > > > > Hi bluesfan...
> > > > >
> > > > > If I asked you not to think of a pink buffalo in a ballerina suit..and i would give you a million dollars to NOT think about a pink buffalo in a ballerina suit..you wouldnt be able to not think of it..thats what you are going through now with these thoughts..you are trying so hard not to think these thoughts that it is impossible NOT to think them..does that make sense?
> > > > >
> > > > > Heres the thing with the thoughts..and how you will know you have won your battle with them...
> > > > >
> > > > > you have won not when you stop having them..but when you stop being afraid of them ...when you know you are really really getting better..you may still have these thoughts from time to time...but you KNOW that all it is, is a thought, and that it will not hurt you..and that YOU will not hurt you..the thoughts are like a gory picture hanging on a wall in a museum and nothing more..you look at it..know it is only a picture..and move past it to the next picture..
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > then when you are able to disqualify these thoughts as the mental waste products of an overload of adrenaline, cortisol, and whatever nasty chemicals your body is currently producing, you will find you have them less and less often, until you stop having them all together..this process takes about 3 to 4 months..although right now at your stage in your med therapy you are at the absolute worst point..after this week and maybe the next 1 or 2 weeks you should notice an improvement...crazy as it sounds you GET USED TO IT..and when you do it goes away..
> > > > >
> > > > > an important thing to do is continue to live your life..dont try and do things in a feverish manner to take your mind off things..but do things you enjoy a little at a time..these thoughts cause discomfort and nothing more...you CAN function with them!
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > > I just wanted to know about how long it took for your thoughts of death to get better? I realize you may still be going through this currently on your Lexapro, but I thought maybe you had an idea of how long it took for you to get better on the Celexa. This week has been as bad as before I was on the medicine, and I'm definitely looking for some encouragement. The Lexapro has really thrown me for a loop this week, and all I want to do is stay in bed!
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> >
> >
>
>
Posted by Tootercat on December 30, 2003, at 15:07:55
In reply to Re: Nicky847, posted by nicky847 on December 30, 2003, at 14:56:24
I had the book too but think I don't anymore. I was with Jeff for 10 years, 7 married, and I am the one who initiated the split...doesn't make it easier it turns out. I am totally a worrier and wish that I had the faith to "Let go and Let God" with respect to the divorce proceedings and having faith about my future. I've tried but my need for control has been with me since childhood...been sober and clean almost 14 years (Thank God) and have been graced with not having the desire to escape that way. My relationship with God is still developing. I know that God must be with me or I would be giving in and not fighting for my life....I wish you strength in your own battle right now.....I'm so glad I found this site! Sending hugs....
Posted by bluesfan on December 30, 2003, at 15:13:59
In reply to Re: Nicky847, posted by nicky847 on December 30, 2003, at 14:56:24
I actually already have the book Purpose Driven Life. They were selling it at my church awhile back. I never did get through the whole book because I've ALWAYS had trouble holding my thoughts and focusing on reading. I've found it helps for me to read now (how ironic) and I'm able to focus better. Sounds like I've got enough reading to keep me busy well into when the drug is supposed to start working!
> Great! You should get that Lucinda Bassett book..it was the single most helpful thing I have ever read..its a quick read too..
>
> Didn't know if you were into Christian literature but since you are I also suggest picking up "The Purpose Driven Life"...it has been the #1 NY Times best seller for a while now and it has helped me get on top of the depression part of anxiety/depression this time around..
>
> I'm 28 years old...I had my first panic attack when I was 25...I had always been a worrier but never to the point where I felt sick or had panic attacks..so right about the same age as you..mine were brought on by breaking up with my ex-fiancee whom i was living with..my mom had panic attacks too..and they started shortly after she had me and my brother..i believe she was about 26 years old when she started having them..have you been married long? sometimes a major life change brings on these symptoms..whether it is a positive change or a negative one really doesnt matter..for me this time it was changing jobs after i had been at my old one for 5 years..that and getting off of celexa...those two things independently i think i would have been ok with..but together at the same time was a bad coincidence..
>
>
> > I read a little bit of the book by Lucinda Bassett on Amazon.com and it looks great. Her panic attacks are EXACTLY what I've gone through for a few years now. Maybe I've had this problem coming on for longer than I've thought! I will probably try to run by the mall tonight and get a copy if I feel like it. I've also been reading a book called "How to win over depression". It is by a Christian writer and it has helped me as well to focus on God. I know that He will make me a better person from all of this.....it is just a matter of getting through it. Reading seems to help me....something I've always hated doing in the past! Can I ask what your age is? I'm just curious how long it took for you to realize you had these symptoms. I'm only 24.....but I may have been leading up to this much longer than I thought!
> >
> > > Well just post away whenever you start to feel overwhelmed..I can lend my experience to you as can many others here..talking about how you feel helps so much..
> > >
> > > One thing I can't stress enough is that right now you are in the thick of the woods...the 2nd week on Lex is very difficult...I venture to say you may feel worse now then before you started on the med..thats normal..and its normal to want to feel better NOW! have you tried keeping a journal? i feel that just writing down notes about how i feel on a given day helps me detach from my symptoms a little bit..and look at them as symptoms of an illness im recovering from rather than a part of who i am...
> > >
> > > i wish i could tell you a magic thought that would help this time go by faster or eaiser..but unfortunately the panacea for this is time..you WILL recover...and when you do you will feel better than you ever have..recovering from this will change your life..and it will change it for the better..i know it sucks more than words can express right now...but 6 months from now when you look back on this time in your life, you will be thankful for the experience...
> > >
> > > > Thanks again for your words of encouragement. Today has definitely been the worst day for me.....can't seem to get things out of my mind. I wish I could think more of hurting myself than others at this point.....if that makes any sense. I'm afraid to be around my wife right now because I'm afraid I will hurt her......even though I would NEVER want to. I would have an easier time thinking of myself being dead than her......maybe that is why I'm thinking of her the most. I called to get an appointment with a therapist today, but the earliest I can get an appointment is January 26th......so talking to you on here is pretty much all I've got. I'm doing okay at work today......but my thoughts are now taking over, soon to lead to an anxiety attack I'm sure. I just want very badly for this to be over!
> > > >
> > > > > Bluesfan-
> > > > > I also meant to ask you are you currently seeing a therapist? I think talk therapy could really help you through this rough time you are having...people like you who are honest about what they are experiencing can really benefit from seeing a therapist..I think it is very brave of you to be up front about the thoughts you are having...the first time I went thru this I was too scared to tell anyone about the thoughts I was having..then I read in a book "From Panic to Power" by Lucinda Bassett that these thoughts were a common symptom of anxiety disorder and that they did NOT mean that you were homicidal or suicidal...those words were a godsend for me..
> > > > >
> > > > > > Hi bluesfan...
> > > > > >
> > > > > > If I asked you not to think of a pink buffalo in a ballerina suit..and i would give you a million dollars to NOT think about a pink buffalo in a ballerina suit..you wouldnt be able to not think of it..thats what you are going through now with these thoughts..you are trying so hard not to think these thoughts that it is impossible NOT to think them..does that make sense?
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Heres the thing with the thoughts..and how you will know you have won your battle with them...
> > > > > >
> > > > > > you have won not when you stop having them..but when you stop being afraid of them ...when you know you are really really getting better..you may still have these thoughts from time to time...but you KNOW that all it is, is a thought, and that it will not hurt you..and that YOU will not hurt you..the thoughts are like a gory picture hanging on a wall in a museum and nothing more..you look at it..know it is only a picture..and move past it to the next picture..
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > > then when you are able to disqualify these thoughts as the mental waste products of an overload of adrenaline, cortisol, and whatever nasty chemicals your body is currently producing, you will find you have them less and less often, until you stop having them all together..this process takes about 3 to 4 months..although right now at your stage in your med therapy you are at the absolute worst point..after this week and maybe the next 1 or 2 weeks you should notice an improvement...crazy as it sounds you GET USED TO IT..and when you do it goes away..
> > > > > >
> > > > > > an important thing to do is continue to live your life..dont try and do things in a feverish manner to take your mind off things..but do things you enjoy a little at a time..these thoughts cause discomfort and nothing more...you CAN function with them!
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > > > I just wanted to know about how long it took for your thoughts of death to get better? I realize you may still be going through this currently on your Lexapro, but I thought maybe you had an idea of how long it took for you to get better on the Celexa. This week has been as bad as before I was on the medicine, and I'm definitely looking for some encouragement. The Lexapro has really thrown me for a loop this week, and all I want to do is stay in bed!
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > >
> > >
> >
> >
>
>
Posted by bluesfan on December 30, 2003, at 15:15:56
In reply to Re: Nicky847, posted by Tootercat on December 30, 2003, at 15:07:55
Good luck to you! It helps me to know that other people are going through the same thing I am and that I'm not alone. I just have to keep telling myself that I will get through this, and I'm sure I will. Just keep the faith, and things will get much better I'm sure! Feel free to post here often......I'm on here a lot now that I've hit such a low point!
> I had the book too but think I don't anymore. I was with Jeff for 10 years, 7 married, and I am the one who initiated the split...doesn't make it easier it turns out. I am totally a worrier and wish that I had the faith to "Let go and Let God" with respect to the divorce proceedings and having faith about my future. I've tried but my need for control has been with me since childhood...been sober and clean almost 14 years (Thank God) and have been graced with not having the desire to escape that way. My relationship with God is still developing. I know that God must be with me or I would be giving in and not fighting for my life....I wish you strength in your own battle right now.....I'm so glad I found this site! Sending hugs....
Posted by Tootercat on December 30, 2003, at 16:40:30
In reply to Re: Nicky847 » Tootercat, posted by bluesfan on December 30, 2003, at 15:15:56
Just curious...what is Lexapro and why would it be chosen over something like Zoloft or Prozac or Paxil....? I tell myself that had I known what I would have to go thru in order to change/improve my life I still would have initiated the divorce, but I wonder if I would have had the courage. I pray for the strength to hold on to the dream that motivatd me to change my life. I have been told that I really need to make sure to get exercise, drink lots of water and to make myself eat even if I think I can't and that this will also help to keep the anxiety at bay....oh yeah...you posted something about coffe didn't you? The Lucinda Bassett program I mentioned says coffee is a definite no no because it acts like adreneline to a degree...be careful.
Posted by nicky847 on December 30, 2003, at 16:50:31
In reply to Re: Nicky847, posted by Tootercat on December 30, 2003, at 16:40:30
Lexapro is very similar to Zoloft/Prozac/Paxil in that they are all SSRI's and act in pretty much the same way...I guess what you are prescribed all depends on what doc you see as each doc probably favors a different med..Lexapro is 1/2 the molecular structure of an SSRI called Celexa..many doctors like this med b/c it has tested favorably as far as having less side effects than the others...having been on both Celexa and now Lexapro I can say that once the initial side effects (which can be pretty rough) pass that they are right..i didnt really experience any long term side effects on Celexa other than perhaps some slight weight gain..which was probably due to the fact that i was happier and thus eating more..
You are absolutely right that exercise, keeping hydrated, and eating well are very important..I make sure to do all those things..as for the coffee i am pretty careful not to overdo it..in the morning i will get a 1/2 decaf- 1/2 regular from caribou and that seems to improve my mood in the morning..as my symptoms tend to be at their highest in the morning..
> Just curious...what is Lexapro and why would it be chosen over something like Zoloft or Prozac or Paxil....? I tell myself that had I known what I would have to go thru in order to change/improve my life I still would have initiated the divorce, but I wonder if I would have had the courage. I pray for the strength to hold on to the dream that motivatd me to change my life. I have been told that I really need to make sure to get exercise, drink lots of water and to make myself eat even if I think I can't and that this will also help to keep the anxiety at bay....oh yeah...you posted something about coffe didn't you? The Lucinda Bassett program I mentioned says coffee is a definite no no because it acts like adreneline to a degree...be careful.
Posted by Dr. Bob on December 31, 2003, at 9:31:28
In reply to Re: Nicky847, posted by bluesfan on December 30, 2003, at 14:24:45
> I read in a book "From Panic to Power" by Lucinda Bassett that these thoughts were a common symptom of anxiety disorder and that they did NOT mean that you were homicidal or suicidal...
> I've also been reading a book called "How to win over depression".
I'd just like to plug the double double quotes feature at this site:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#amazon
The first time anyone refers to a book without using this option, I post this to try to make sure he or she at least knows about it. It's just an option, though, and doesn't *have* to be used. If people *choose* not to use it, I'd be interested why not, but I'd like that redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20020918/msgs/7717.html
Thanks!
Bob
Posted by bluesfan on December 31, 2003, at 9:44:53
In reply to Re: double double quotes » nicky847 » bluesfan, posted by Dr. Bob on December 31, 2003, at 9:31:28
Thanks for letting me know about this...it looks like a great tool!
> > I read in a book "From Panic to Power" by Lucinda Bassett that these thoughts were a common symptom of anxiety disorder and that they did NOT mean that you were homicidal or suicidal...
>
> > I've also been reading a book called "How to win over depression".
>
> I'd just like to plug the double double quotes feature at this site:
>
> http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#amazon
>
> The first time anyone refers to a book without using this option, I post this to try to make sure he or she at least knows about it. It's just an option, though, and doesn't *have* to be used. If people *choose* not to use it, I'd be interested why not, but I'd like that redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration:
>
> http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20020918/msgs/7717.html
>
> Thanks!
>
> Bob
Posted by nicky847 on December 31, 2003, at 10:17:28
In reply to Re: double double quotes » nicky847 » bluesfan, posted by Dr. Bob on December 31, 2003, at 9:31:28
Thanks Dr. Bob I didnt know about that feature I will use it from now on..
Nick
> > I read in a book "From Panic to Power" by Lucinda Bassett that these thoughts were a common symptom of anxiety disorder and that they did NOT mean that you were homicidal or suicidal...
>
> > I've also been reading a book called "How to win over depression".
>
> I'd just like to plug the double double quotes feature at this site:
>
> http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#amazon
>
> The first time anyone refers to a book without using this option, I post this to try to make sure he or she at least knows about it. It's just an option, though, and doesn't *have* to be used. If people *choose* not to use it, I'd be interested why not, but I'd like that redirected to Psycho-Babble Administration:
>
> http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20020918/msgs/7717.html
>
> Thanks!
>
> Bob
Posted by bluesfan on December 31, 2003, at 10:24:02
In reply to Re: double double quotes, posted by nicky847 on December 31, 2003, at 10:17:28
Hey Nick......I seem to be feeling a little better today mentally, but I feel like I have the flu. Did you have any physical side effects like this early on in the drug? I think I'm focusing more on how badly I feel physically now, so maybe that is helping me. I also tried to find the "From Panic to Power" book last night at our local Barnes and Noble, but they didn't have it. I might have to end up ordering it. Have a happy new year!
Posted by nicky847 on December 31, 2003, at 10:56:19
In reply to Re: double double quotes, posted by bluesfan on December 31, 2003, at 10:24:02
I'm glad you are feeling a little better today! thats great to hear..some people do get flu-like symptoms when starting the med although i never did..of course it could actually be the flu too..as that has been going around and its that time of year..as for the book try ordering it on Amazon its a great resource..pretty much your recovery textbook..you have a happy new year too!
> Hey Nick......I seem to be feeling a little better today mentally, but I feel like I have the flu. Did you have any physical side effects like this early on in the drug? I think I'm focusing more on how badly I feel physically now, so maybe that is helping me. I also tried to find the "From Panic to Power" book last night at our local Barnes and Noble, but they didn't have it. I might have to end up ordering it. Have a happy new year!
Posted by Steve3211 on December 31, 2003, at 17:51:59
In reply to Nicky847, posted by bluesfan on December 30, 2003, at 12:24:25
> I just wanted to know about how long it took for your thoughts of death to get better? I realize you may still be going through this currently on your Lexapro, but I thought maybe you had an idea of how long it took for you to get better on the Celexa. This week has been as bad as before I was on the medicine, and I'm definitely looking for some encouragement. The Lexapro has really thrown me for a loop this week, and all I want to do is stay in bed!
Hey Nick,
I too just started Lexapro eight days ago. Worst side effect seems to be the nausea. Did you experience this? I am optimistic though. Best to you and happy new year.
Steve
Posted by Dr. Bob on January 2, 2004, at 0:38:59
In reply to Re: double double quotes, posted by nicky847 on December 31, 2003, at 10:17:28
Posted by nicky847 on January 2, 2004, at 9:00:33
In reply to Re: Nicky847, posted by Steve3211 on December 31, 2003, at 17:51:59
Steve-
Yes I too experienced the nausea..esp. in the morning...it seems to be getting better though..just make sure you eat enough b/c thats important..ginger tea is supposed to help settle down the nausea..> > I just wanted to know about how long it took for your thoughts of death to get better? I realize you may still be going through this currently on your Lexapro, but I thought maybe you had an idea of how long it took for you to get better on the Celexa. This week has been as bad as before I was on the medicine, and I'm definitely looking for some encouragement. The Lexapro has really thrown me for a loop this week, and all I want to do is stay in bed!
>
> Hey Nick,
> I too just started Lexapro eight days ago. Worst side effect seems to be the nausea. Did you experience this? I am optimistic though. Best to you and happy new year.
> Steve
This is the end of the thread.
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