![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 1 to 14 of 14. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by fuzzymind on December 9, 2002, at 2:27:35
I read that 22 percent of people with social anxiety disorder are on welfare. I am panicking and planning suicide because my parents told me they can no longer support me. I am afraid to die, but living is more fearful. I never had a job and couldn't graduate from college 12 years ago. See my past history I posted in 2 message yesterday. For 5 years, I have known this day would come. Time is up
Posted by Joshua on December 9, 2002, at 2:56:36
In reply to Anyone here with severe social anxiety employed?, posted by fuzzymind on December 9, 2002, at 2:27:35
> I read that 22 percent of people with social anxiety disorder are on welfare. I am panicking and planning suicide because my parents told me they can no longer support me. I am afraid to die, but living is more fearful. I never had a job and couldn't graduate from college 12 years ago. See my past history I posted in 2 message yesterday. For 5 years, I have known this day would come. Time is up
----------------------------Hey fuzzymind.... are you still on line. If you are please respond. I'd love to talk with you. No need to do anything drastic right now. Even if you would rather not respond to me, perhaps a good night of sleep would give you a different perspective on things. At least give yourself that opportunity and tomorrow you can call someone and talk with them about your situation.
Joshua
Posted by bluedog on December 9, 2002, at 3:38:27
In reply to Anyone here with severe social anxiety employed?, posted by fuzzymind on December 9, 2002, at 2:27:35
> I read that 22 percent of people with social anxiety disorder are on welfare. I am panicking and planning suicide because my parents told me they can no longer support me. I am afraid to die, but living is more fearful. I never had a job and couldn't graduate from college 12 years ago. See my past history I posted in 2 message yesterday. For 5 years, I have known this day would come. Time is up
YES,YES, YES!!!!!!! I have social anxiety and I AM employed. PLEASE, PLEASE don't say that time is up!!!!!! THERE IS HOPE FOR YOU. Not so long ago I was also suicidal and even had a plan for how I was going to kill myself. However having this plan somehow helped me and gave me a sense of relief that that option was always available to me, but I knew deep down in my heart that it was a FINAL option only and made me see that I had not actually tried every other option to help me heal myself.I see from your posts that you have tried many things but there is no way that you could have tried EVERYTHING to help you. From your previous posts I can see that you are very intelligent and academically talented. Because of this very fact I KNOW that you will be able to get a job and hold it down. I also know that because of your intelligence (I know your emotions are not so clear) that you ARE smart enough to know that while there is life that there is hope.
NO matter how miserable I felt, I always knew on a rational and logical level that the above statement is the TRUTH. Please repeat to yourself ten times "WHILE THERE IS LIFE THERE IS HOPE".
I will tell you a little about myself. I am also 33 years of age. I am male. I am a university graduate despite my crippling social anxiety. I had to defer semesters and exams many times because of the severe depression that my social anxiety produced. I have also quit a very good job because I couldn't deal with certain situations that exacerbated my social anxiety and depression!!
I will tell you another thing, High School and University (I think you call university college in the US) are the absolute worse places for social phobics. A large proportion high school and university/college students are some of the most insensitive, arrogant, selfish and pompous people around. BUT they only represent a very small cross section of society. My High School and University days coincided with with the absolute HIGH POINT (or should I say low point) of my social anxiety and depression. I used to hide myself in the quietest corner of the library to avoid dealing with my fears and I used to go home and cry myself to sleep because I would see all the "normal students" out there partying and having a good time. I felt so lonely and depressed and this was the time when my suicidal thoughts were at ther peak and when I hatched my plan as to how I was going to kill myself>
BUT THERE IS HOPE. When you get out in the "real" work world you will find that on the whole people are really nice, supportive and understanding. The superficial, selfish and preening behaviour you find at school and college is no where near as bad in the work world where you get a much broader cross section of society, many with problems and worries of there own (Don't get me wrong, there are still idiots out there but it's much much less and more tolerable).
MY advice to you is to work VERY VERY VERY intensively with your therapists and your doctors to get you through the interview process. THis is absolutely the WORST part of the job for a social phobic (Believe me). Even if you have to swallow dozens of valium tablets (I don't mean overdose- do this in consultation with your doctor) to calm you down for the interviews then do it. There are counselling services available where you can have mock interviews before you go for the real thing!! Once your in a job you will settle into a routine that after a while will become much more comfortable for you.
When I graduated I actually got interviews with every top law firm in town (I am a law graduate). But the recruiting process was a complete nightmare for a social phobic and I failed to get a job offer from any of these firms and I hated all these bastards for that (Sorry Dr Bob but that was the best adjective I could find for these people). AND YES this precipitated another one of my major depressive episodes. However, when I finally came out the other end I had learnt a lot more about myself and was able to reassess my priorities and find a job (with lots of support from the counselling services I mentioned above) that was suited to my temperament. It turns out that I merely wanted to work at the top law firms because of the prestige involved, and not because it was really in my heart what I wanted to do!!!
Sorry about this long post but my advice stands and I would say look at your temperament and then look into your heart as to what you would personally find fulfilling in a job and you will then succeed despite your social anxiety problems. In other words you can't fit a square peg into a round hole!!!!
warm regards
bluedog
Posted by Phyl on December 9, 2002, at 7:51:17
In reply to Anyone here with severe social anxiety employed?, posted by fuzzymind on December 9, 2002, at 2:27:35
I don't have social anxiety disorder, so can't comment on that. But if 22% of the people with it are on welfare, that means 78% are not! You can be in that group.
I do know about suicide. My father committed suicide, then one brother and later, a second brother. In each case, if they had received help for their depression, they would have lived long productive lives. But that was kind of the "dark ages" -- medicine has come a very long way since then. It was a triple tragedy, one that survivors never get over.
Fight like a lion to get the help you need. This board is wonderful for the support it gives, and from people who are going through what you are going through.
Good luck to you!
> I read that 22 percent of people with social anxiety disorder are on welfare. I am panicking and planning suicide because my parents told me they can no longer support me. I am afraid to die, but living is more fearful. I never had a job and couldn't graduate from college 12 years ago. See my past history I posted in 2 message yesterday. For 5 years, I have known this day would come. Time is up
Posted by Michael D on December 9, 2002, at 8:56:37
In reply to Anyone here with severe social anxiety employed?, posted by fuzzymind on December 9, 2002, at 2:27:35
Fuzzymind,
I'm going through the same struggles as you are. I was fired from my last job because of me 'mental problems', after only three weeks.
It's very difficult to deal with parents. I'm always under the threat of being cut-off.
I've tried many medications. Lots of SSRIs, serveral benzodiazipams, an anti-psychotic, and a few sleep medications.
The only thing that helped was the benzodiazipams (like Attivan, Valium), but they pooped out after a few weeks, and then I had withdrawl for a few weeks. My symptoms were worse than before I went on the medication.
What you have is PTSD - even your earlier symptoms are PTSD, and may be classified as Social Anxiety, too.
I have also heard good things about E.M.D.R.
Just recently, I was doing research on this site, and I've decided to try Gabitril. Gabitril works with GABA-A, the same as the Benzodiazipams, only it works differently. I'll talk to my psych about it the next time I see him.
I know that I don't need much to get to the point where I could 'function' in society - despite the delibitating state that I have been in for the last week.
Please realize that it's far from the end of the world. You're close to getting to where you need to go.
You may also want to read Alice Miller's "The Drama of the Gifted Child" - though it's not immediately important.
I made the BIG mistake of living with my parents for a while after I graduated. BAD IDEA. If you have too, then do it until you get your medication under control. But, as you've noticed, having to face the possibility of living with your parents forever more, is the strongest force for sucidal thoughs.
I'm also trying to get my hands on some marijuana. I've never tried it, like you. I'm hoping that the occational dose of marijuana may reduce my anxiety enough to function in the 'real world'.
Where do you live, by the way?
I'm in Southern, Ontario, Canada, and that's why I ask.
Michael Dewolf
p.s. After you've read Alice Miller's "The Drama ...",
you may want to look in to something called "Primal Therapy".
Posted by Eddie Sylvano on December 9, 2002, at 9:44:00
In reply to Anyone here with severe social anxiety employed?, posted by fuzzymind on December 9, 2002, at 2:27:35
> I read that 22 percent of people with social anxiety disorder are on welfare. I am panicking and planning suicide because my parents told me they can no longer support me.
------------------------------It doesn't have to be the end of the world. There are plenty of jobs available that don't require a lot of social interaction. If I stay in my office programming, for example, I can go all day without ever talking to anyone. As other posters have mentioned, too, the co-workers you'll meet in the real world aren't all that bad. I've been diagnosed social phobic, and I'd agree that university and high school were the absolute worst. A lot of this is simply due to the peers that you're exposed to being both young, and very similar. There's a lot more pressure to conform in those situations than there is in an office with a 60 year old asian woman, two guys in their early 30's, and whatnot. Also, you're doing a service to the company, and are not merely a student. If you're capable at your position, you'll eventually be afforded plenty of space and concessions.
I was surprised to find last year that a new coworker next door to me was even more phobic than I am. Painfully phobic. She had been turned down by dozens of other companies because she was so intensely shy during the interview. It took her several months, but even she eventually became more talkative (I've found that shy people have a lot to say when they finally feel comfortable) and was always very productive. Everyone was sad to see her go when she eventually left for another job.
Anyway, believe me, this isn't the end of the world. Don't give in to defeat until you explore the possibliities.
Posted by fuzzymind on December 9, 2002, at 10:05:59
In reply to Re: Anyone here with severe social anxiety employed?, posted by Michael D on December 9, 2002, at 8:56:37
>>
> Where do you live, by the way?
>
> I'm in Southern, Ontario, Canada, and that's why I ask.
>
> Michael Dewolf
>
> p.s. After you've read Alice Miller's "The Drama ...",
> you may want to look in to something called "Primal Therapy".
>I live in NY. I am actually angry at my father for practicing medicine for 46 years and not having anything to show for it. I should have been able to live on tio I died naturally, but now I feel I will have to end it soon. This time it will be final because my previous attempts were more cries for help...slashing wrists, taking as much sleeping medication as possible, and my first attempt in 7th grade....taking about 20 aspirins. 20 aspirins just gave me a really awful feeling; no risk of death, but I really wanted to die because I couldn't fit in with the popular kids nor anyone else. At that age, I literally had no contact with classmates after school. How strange.
Posted by Michael D on December 9, 2002, at 10:57:40
In reply to Re: Anyone here with severe social anxiety employed?, posted by fuzzymind on December 9, 2002, at 10:05:59
> I am actually angry at my father for practicing medicine for 46 years and not having anything to show for it.
He had/has his own problems. Probably the same origins as the ones you have (poor parenting, genetics, etc.)
If you really think your dad should be able to climb out of his problems, then why can't you think that you should be able to climb out of your problems? (I'm not saying you should.)
Parents have their own baggage. They'll be who they are. It's up to you to make your life a better life. And it's not just a matter of deciding whether or not you want ...
I blamed myself way too much for the past many years.
Consider why you don't want to live with your parents tomorrow, and then reflect on what you went through when you were young.
You've probably got a lot of baggage to carry. It's O.K. to be who you are, and where you are in your life.
> This time it will be final because my previous attempts were more cries for help...
It'll be the same, only this time the hope for success (help, less pressure from parents, fewer problems, etc.) will be buried, but not non-existant.
Michael
Posted by utopizen on December 10, 2002, at 20:43:38
In reply to Anyone here with severe social anxiety employed?, posted by fuzzymind on December 9, 2002, at 2:27:35
When benzos first came out, no one screamed and shouted "bye bye, benzos." It took decades for docs to get used to -not- prescribing benzos.
And I think this is a good thing- UNLESS the benzos don't work for you. If you don't work because of anxiety, for heaven's sakes, take Equanil or a barb!!!
Posted by Alara on December 11, 2002, at 0:18:06
In reply to Re: Anyone here with severe social anxiety employed?, posted by Michael D on December 9, 2002, at 8:56:37
> >
> I'm also trying to get my hands on some marijuana. I've never tried it, like you. I'm hoping that the occational dose of marijuana may reduce my anxiety enough to function in the 'real world'.
>
>
Hi Michael D,I'm sorry to hear that you're having such a tough time but it sounds as though you have enough hope and inner peace to know that you will be OK. That quality of hope will make all the difference in your recovery. It did with me.
I just wanted to warn you that marijuana will probably exacerbate your social anxiety symptoms. I smoke it occasionally with my boyfriend and, when I do it, I need to be absolutely certain that I don't have to interact with anyone else. If you're inclined to worry about what other's think of you, you will be even worse under the influence of pot! It makes me utterly paranoid (and I consider myself a recovered social phobic) and this is the very reason why I do it so infrequently. Of course, you may be different, but I suspect that your experience will be similar.
You might like to try Effexor. It really took the edge off my social anxiety as I went through therapy. It was a nightmare to come off but, in hindsight, the journey was worthwhile. These days I take St Johns Wort and the occasional Xanax tablet. That's all.
As I have learned to accept myself and my social eccentricity, I no longer need to mask my symptoms with alcohol or prescription drugs. (Of course, the prescription drugs had their place but at the end of the day I had to come face to face with myself.) The inner peace will come to you if you stick at it. Be prepared to work hard at therapy. CBT is particularly good. Face everything about yourself whether you love it or hate it. If you do this, you have a very good chance of living a happy and normal life.
Good luck,Alara
Posted by Alara on December 11, 2002, at 0:24:05
In reply to Anyone here with severe social anxiety employed?, posted by fuzzymind on December 9, 2002, at 2:27:35
I have just accepted a full-time position and start on Friday. I am both excited and nervous about this as this is the first time that I have been free of medication in the full-time work force in over 4 years. Of course, I may need to take the occasional half-Xanax tablet if I get very stressed but I am feeling optimistic about the outcome. I will take each day as it comes.
:-)BTW: I had to go through extensive psychometric testing in order to secure the position. I am ecstatic that I got through this as I was completely honest on the personality test. Maybe I'm not so crazy after all! :-) :-)
Posted by vickisnowwhite on December 11, 2002, at 12:45:03
In reply to Anyone here with severe social anxiety employed?, posted by fuzzymind on December 9, 2002, at 2:27:35
I am a recovered social phobic, 44(f), the worst years were definately college, where i was so isolated, and would hide and cry in my private room and only venture out eyes cast down to class. it was terrible.(I abused alcohol for over 20 years to self medicate myself) Thanks to the meds i'm on (perphenazine, prozac, welbutrin, buspar) i no longer fear being in the public, and can even speak out in groups now!!!!
however because of a severe depression last year, i become disabled and on social security disability. That is also an option you could look into. Take care
Posted by vickisnowwhite on December 11, 2002, at 12:51:36
In reply to Re: sleeping my life away, posted by vickisnowwhite on December 11, 2002, at 12:45:03
social anxiety thread: sorry I posted under the wrong title. this was supposed to be titled Social anxiety, employed" but it read sleeping my life away which is another story, and concerns sleeping too much with the current meds that i am on. vicky
Posted by PrincessWorkstooMuch on November 23, 2003, at 12:21:44
In reply to Anyone here with severe social anxiety employed?, posted by fuzzymind on December 9, 2002, at 2:27:35
I have been working full time for the past four years. I sleep the entire weekend away just to complete another work week. Xanax is a MUST! Its funny how people seem to pick up on your insecurites and how cruel they can be. People are so so mean and immature. Suicide is always in the back of my mind as a means to an end. I have gained at least sixty pounds working there. (thrown out the scale) I tell myself the good things that have come out of it such as purchasing a home by myself, a new car, and sending my son to a good college.....but it gets worse each day. The house I purchased has been sitting empty for seven months now. I can't get up the energy to move in. I wish I knew the answers. I am 41 and all I ever wanted to do is stay home and cook and clean. Born in the wrong time I soppose?
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Medication | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.