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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 1 to 7 of 7. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Mr. Scott on February 12, 2002, at 19:58:15
If you've read all this and post a response (if you can), I promise to do my diligence and 'Get You Back' when I can help.
I cannot relax unless I am TOTALLY depressed or exhausted. I cannot get to work on time to save my life (luckily I can come in late and work late). My office is always a mess (hundred of notes scratched on little pieces of paper I cannot throw away). I am usually lethargic, except when I have something to do. Then I am like a chicken with it's head cut off. I can multi-task on 5 important tasks at once, but If I know I have time I will forget about it until the deadline.
I cannot pace myself I either do everything at once or nothing at all. I find it hard to leave work until every last thing is done instead of looking at the week or the actual amount of time I have to complete a task. I never remember names of people I meet until I meete them several times. This I think pisses people off at times or I seem unfriendly, but truth is I can't remmber who these people are half the time.
Once I do decide to take something on I am very intense about it, so as to get it perfect and not mess up. I'm depressed on one hand and manic on the other. My father is clearly dysthymic and my mother is clearly hyperthymic and I have both of their qualities.
Every morning on the way to work I feel a sense of dread coming over me...Fear and anxiety build. And considering that that I will hit snooze for two hours before getting out of bed when I get into work, I am like a bull at a rodeo (unless it's a down time and then I'm lethargic). What's odd is that when I'm half asleep I could care less about getting up on time or anything else for that matter.
My mood cycles throughout the day. I Feel moments of mild euphoria and dysphoria. I am highly cynical and always gravitate towards the unruly crew rather than the dogooders, but people who know me think I'm very funny and intelligent.
Stimulants alone or with SSRI's turn me into a weirdo and generally don't help because they worsen my anxiety too much. Mood stabilizers make me dumb (although I'm currently retrying some). Benzo's are nice for the way I feel, but make me a total idiot. AD's are okay. i actually can kick the depressions with most of them and it's the side effects I can't tolerate or make me bounce from one to the other.
I am very impulsive, a super thinker, who not only dwells on the why of everything, but also literally can't stop thinking and if I'm not thinking, some intense tunes are blasting away in my head.
I guess my question is 'what he hell is wrong with me?' I am working with my doctor to figure this out, but the posts on this board have been immensely helpful. Also, sometimes I can't quite say to my doc what I manage to say here (can't remember what I was thinking or express it), and if I can discuss them here I seem to be better able to regurgitate my thoughts on the couch.
Sorry for the length, I know when I'm really down I can't even read the paper.
Scott
Posted by JohnX2 on February 12, 2002, at 21:15:54
In reply to ADDers and BPIIers and GADers please comment, posted by Mr. Scott on February 12, 2002, at 19:58:15
Hi Scott,I have A LOT of the symptoms that you have. I
understand your confusion and dismay. You
are not alone (all though some of my med responses
differ).I'll comment more when I have some time, but
I'm a bit fatigued at the moment.Hang in there.
Regards,
John
> If you've read all this and post a response (if you can), I promise to do my diligence and 'Get You Back' when I can help.
>
> I cannot relax unless I am TOTALLY depressed or exhausted. I cannot get to work on time to save my life (luckily I can come in late and work late). My office is always a mess (hundred of notes scratched on little pieces of paper I cannot throw away). I am usually lethargic, except when I have something to do. Then I am like a chicken with it's head cut off. I can multi-task on 5 important tasks at once, but If I know I have time I will forget about it until the deadline.
>
> I cannot pace myself I either do everything at once or nothing at all. I find it hard to leave work until every last thing is done instead of looking at the week or the actual amount of time I have to complete a task. I never remember names of people I meet until I meete them several times. This I think pisses people off at times or I seem unfriendly, but truth is I can't remmber who these people are half the time.
>
> Once I do decide to take something on I am very intense about it, so as to get it perfect and not mess up. I'm depressed on one hand and manic on the other. My father is clearly dysthymic and my mother is clearly hyperthymic and I have both of their qualities.
>
> Every morning on the way to work I feel a sense of dread coming over me...Fear and anxiety build. And considering that that I will hit snooze for two hours before getting out of bed when I get into work, I am like a bull at a rodeo (unless it's a down time and then I'm lethargic). What's odd is that when I'm half asleep I could care less about getting up on time or anything else for that matter.
>
> My mood cycles throughout the day. I Feel moments of mild euphoria and dysphoria. I am highly cynical and always gravitate towards the unruly crew rather than the dogooders, but people who know me think I'm very funny and intelligent.
>
> Stimulants alone or with SSRI's turn me into a weirdo and generally don't help because they worsen my anxiety too much. Mood stabilizers make me dumb (although I'm currently retrying some). Benzo's are nice for the way I feel, but make me a total idiot. AD's are okay. i actually can kick the depressions with most of them and it's the side effects I can't tolerate or make me bounce from one to the other.
>
> I am very impulsive, a super thinker, who not only dwells on the why of everything, but also literally can't stop thinking and if I'm not thinking, some intense tunes are blasting away in my head.
>
> I guess my question is 'what he hell is wrong with me?' I am working with my doctor to figure this out, but the posts on this board have been immensely helpful. Also, sometimes I can't quite say to my doc what I manage to say here (can't remember what I was thinking or express it), and if I can discuss them here I seem to be better able to regurgitate my thoughts on the couch.
>
> Sorry for the length, I know when I'm really down I can't even read the paper.
>
> Scott
Posted by Krazy Kat on February 12, 2002, at 21:28:15
In reply to ADDers and BPIIers and GADers please comment, posted by Mr. Scott on February 12, 2002, at 19:58:15
Scott:
I, actually, also have a lot of the same symptoms. Even though I'm a girl. :)
But I also have to think a little about a response.
Not sure about my family though - my Dad seems to suffer from major depressions, my brother from manic depressiveness.
- KK
Posted by Mr. Scott on February 12, 2002, at 22:57:25
In reply to ADDers and BPIIers and GADers please comment, posted by Mr. Scott on February 12, 2002, at 19:58:15
Hello,
Please don't feel obligated to respond to my post above...I was trying to be comical by "incentvising" responses.I know how difficult it is to answer the open ended questions I often pose. I always think maybe one day I'll describe something in a way that will catch someone just at the right time and place and they will say "Ahhaa! this drug worked for that problem!" But in the end I know full well that life is much more complex.
Going to bed
Scott
Posted by Ritch on February 13, 2002, at 0:26:10
In reply to ADDers and BPIIers and GADers please comment, posted by Mr. Scott on February 12, 2002, at 19:58:15
> If you've read all this and post a response (if you can), I promise to do my diligence and 'Get You Back' when I can help.
>
> I cannot relax unless I am TOTALLY depressed or exhausted. I cannot get to work on time to save my life (luckily I can come in late and work late). My office is always a mess (hundred of notes scratched on little pieces of paper I cannot throw away). I am usually lethargic, except when I have something to do. Then I am like a chicken with it's head cut off. I can multi-task on 5 important tasks at once, but If I know I have time I will forget about it until the deadline.
Ditto on the relaxation, but I *always* get to work on time (maybe OCD* stuff?). I tend to be very disorganized as well-until I *want* or *need* to be. I like multitasking. Stims make that *more* difficult, but they do MIRACLES for staying on one *fixed* task.> I cannot pace myself I either do everything at once or nothing at all. I find it hard to leave work until every last thing is done instead of looking at the week or the actual amount of time I have to complete a task. I never remember names of people I meet until I meete them several times. This I think pisses people off at times or I seem unfriendly, but truth is I can't remmber who these people are half the time.
I find it *difficult* to pace myself, too. But, when you experience all of the negative effects of workaholism, you learn on "the back side of time". It is easier to remember people's names when you aren't distracted.
>
> Once I do decide to take something on I am very intense about it, so as to get it perfect and not mess up. I'm depressed on one hand and manic on the other. My father is clearly dysthymic and my mother is clearly hyperthymic and I have both of their qualities.
Yes, definitely feel the perfectionistic drive. And if you mess up something it is tough to get over any criticism about the mistakes.
> Every morning on the way to work I feel a sense of dread coming over me...Fear and anxiety build. And considering that that I will hit snooze for two hours before getting out of bed when I get into work, I am like a bull at a rodeo (unless it's a down time and then I'm lethargic). What's odd is that when I'm half asleep I could care less about getting up on time or anything else for that matter.
I experience a lot of dread and anticipatory anxiety especially when there are meetings or audits involved on the day I am coming in to work.
>
> My mood cycles throughout the day. I Feel moments of mild euphoria and dysphoria. I am highly cynical and always gravitate towards the unruly crew rather than the dogooders, but people who know me think I'm very funny and intelligent.
I have got the cynicism and black humor, but I generally feel the same throughout the day. The "unruly crew" tends to have better ideas IMO.>
> Stimulants alone or with SSRI's turn me into a weirdo and generally don't help because they worsen my anxiety too much. Mood stabilizers make me dumb (although I'm currently retrying some). Benzo's are nice for the way I feel, but make me a total idiot. AD's are okay. i actually can kick the depressions with most of them and it's the side effects I can't tolerate or make me bounce from one to the other.
Stims tend to cause "freezing" with me amongst other people. However, if I am taking a serotonergic med with it-it reduces that. Interestingly, I took 150mg of lithium last nite for sleep and it worked better than Klonopin. I felt a little *dazed* today at work, but it seemed to be easier to work without being distracted.
>
> I am very impulsive, a super thinker, who not only dwells on the why of everything, but also literally can't stop thinking and if I'm not thinking, some intense tunes are blasting away in my head.The "tunes" with me are aggravated by antidepressants and today after taking that little dose of lithium last nite-was a LOT quieter.
>
> I guess my question is 'what he hell is wrong with me?' I am working with my doctor to figure this out, but the posts on this board have been immensely helpful. Also, sometimes I can't quite say to my doc what I manage to say here (can't remember what I was thinking or express it), and if I can discuss them here I seem to be better able to regurgitate my thoughts on the couch.
>
> Sorry for the length, I know when I'm really down I can't even read the paper.
>
> Scott
Hey, seriously, maybe do a Powerpoint presentation on your own time and then bring it in on a laptop to your pdoc and show it-and leave the .ppt file with them. Haven't tried that yet, but I am starting to seriously consider it. There is so little time to talk about so many things-and if your pdoc goes off on a tangent-you will waste the whole hour.Mitch
Posted by rxcuriousity on February 13, 2002, at 4:19:06
In reply to ADDers and BPIIers and GADers please comment, posted by Mr. Scott on February 12, 2002, at 19:58:15
I really appreciate your post. I wish I knew what the heck is wrong, as I am much the same way. What I've found most helpful, so far, is an adrenergically stimulating antidepressant regimen. I take 225mg of Effexor and 100mg of Wellbutrin. Since I have had limited success with meds alone (again, so far), I have begun expressive psychodynamic therapy. I'll keep you posted.
Posted by cmcdougall on February 13, 2002, at 9:33:23
In reply to Re: ADDers and BPIIers and GADers please comment, posted by rxcuriousity on February 13, 2002, at 4:19:06
Hey Scott,
Like many of the previous posters, your symptoms sound a lot like mine. I could win a gold medal for procrastination. Right now I am about 12 months behind in the bookkeeping for my business. I keep putting it off, because I know that once I start I won't be able to stop. I too find that I just can't pace myself. The whole process of straightening out my desk, organizing the bank statements, etc., etc., just overwhelms me so I put it off again. Every week I decide to start on the following Monday, and when Monday rolls around I find an excuse to stay home. Here it is Wednesday and I have been telling myself everyday that I will go to work today and get things done. Ha! We'll see....
My brain is full of thoughts all day, mostly unimportant trivia. I even wake up in the middle of the night, and my brain is still running 100 mph. To fall back to sleep, I have to come downstairs and watch CNN till I fall asleep on the couch. For some reason if I listen to the non-stop dialogue, my brain is distracted and I can relax.My favorite thing is to take a nap every day (while listening to CNN). This is also my downfall. I goof off on the computer all morning, take my nap, and when I wake up the day is gone w/ nothing accomplished.
I love my med cocktail - celexa, desipramine, adderal, and trazodone. I feel better physically, my migraines are reduced to 2 or 3 per month, I not only get up each day but I get dressed in real clothes (instead of sweats) and put on makeup. The next step is to take care of business. I guess that too will come...
Anyway, you are not alone. We are in pretty good company.
Blessings and luck to you,
Carly
This is the end of the thread.
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]
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