Shown: posts 1 to 10 of 10. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Dona on July 7, 2000, at 16:23:09
I have been on anti-depressants for 10 years and for a long time the prozac worked. But then it didn't and I tried celexa, effexor xr, buspar, paxil, xanax at various times. Now I am on 10mg of prozac, but still feel no energy, sad most of the time and very anxious. Complicating it all, my mom died in Feb. My sister has not talked to me since. I can't work because I need a knee replacement and I just sit at home and feel like a huge failure. I don"t think any pills will solve my negative thinking. It is so hard to keep trying when I just want to pull the covers up and shut out the world
Posted by Wallabee on July 7, 2000, at 20:35:50
In reply to I feel like giving up--will I ever be balanced?, posted by Dona on July 7, 2000, at 16:23:09
Hi Donna,
I feel a little scared answering because I often stick my food in my mouth when I try to be supportive. I am also bipolar, so have the dubious advantage of being able to assure myself that every down will have its up.
I hope you have good professional counselling support besides meds in dealing with what sound like substantial challenges beyond your depression. My experience is that meds can be great at moving me to a firmer, greener ground, but if I don't have support when I get there in working through my life challenges, a lot of the advantage gained from that shift is eventually lost.
It sounds like you have a pretty rational and realistic perspective on your situation, which for me is a most valuable thing to have (that's what I lose when I go flying). You are also able to ask for help, and clearly want to help yourself, all good things to congratulate yourself on, even if they don't make you feel any better.
I know it probably doesn't sound like much, but if you can hang on to that perspective, and continue to want help, look and ASK for it, you WILL find yourself to a better place.
David
> I have been on anti-depressants for 10 years and for a long time the prozac worked. But then it didn't and I tried celexa, effexor xr, buspar, paxil, xanax at various times. Now I am on 10mg of prozac, but still feel no energy, sad most of the time and very anxious. Complicating it all, my mom died in Feb. My sister has not talked to me since. I can't work because I need a knee replacement and I just sit at home and feel like a huge failure. I don"t think any pills will solve my negative thinking. It is so hard to keep trying when I just want to pull the covers up and shut out the world
Posted by Wallabee on July 7, 2000, at 20:43:10
In reply to I feel like giving up--will I ever be balanced?, posted by Dona on July 7, 2000, at 16:23:09
see, I stuck my foot in my mouth already . . .
by saying your perspective is reasonable and realistic, I wasn't suggesting that your situation was great, rather that, depression aside, you have some pretty substantial real challenges dealing with, and anyone would reasonably feel overwhelmed by what it sounds like you are facing in terms of physical health and family.
I donno if it helps you, but it does help me to avoid the downward spiral of free floating depression when I can acknowledge that its normal for me to feel down when life is not going well. Although you say you feel like giving up, it sounds like you're still fighting hard to get help and help yourself, which is great.
Posted by quilter on July 7, 2000, at 22:48:37
In reply to Re: I feel like giving up--will I ever be balanced?, posted by Wallabee on July 7, 2000, at 20:43:10
Dona,
There are many more medications that you haven't mentioned trying. Are you seeing a psychiatrist? An antidepressant from a different class, or a combination of medicines might help you feel more able to face the problems in your life right now. Please don't think that you have run out of options. Keep after your Dr. until you get the help you need.
Psychotherapy can also help, especially with the grieving process. I have also discovered that adequate pain relief is essential if I am to control my depression, so don't neglect that issue when you see your doctor. Quilter
Posted by shar on July 8, 2000, at 1:31:49
In reply to Re: I feel like giving up--will I ever be balanced?, posted by quilter on July 7, 2000, at 22:48:37
> D -
Balance is hard for all of us to achieve. Even people who don't have depression, etc. can become down and lose self-esteem, especially with the situational things you describe. I encourage you to hang on, and stick to it.I think even when we are on a "good" regimen, we still have ups and downs, they are just less radical, and more manageable.
Sitting in the house all day doesn't sound like much fun. Can you sit on the front porch? or in a park or with a friend who you could invite over? Or, have someone over for lunch or dinner?
I also agree with the posters who said counseling can be a real asset to gaining more balance. I find having a place once a week where I know I can be "real" is very important to me.
This board can also be a real help. It has gotten me through some rough times. Hope you will be ok! Keep posting.
Shar
Posted by Kath on July 8, 2000, at 19:03:14
In reply to I feel like giving up--will I ever be balanced?, posted by Dona on July 7, 2000, at 16:23:09
Hi Dona - I don't know if you're new here or have been here at Psycho-Babble before, but for me, this is a good place to get support, learn alot & be able to support others with similar situations. I am new to anti-depressant meds & am fortunate to be responding well with Celexa - helps my anxiety immensely. I'm sorry you're feeling so badly. Maybe the prozac will keep working this time.
You'll be in my thoughts. Please let us know how you are.
Kath
> I have been on anti-depressants for 10 years and for a long time the prozac worked. But then it didn't and I tried celexa, effexor xr, buspar, paxil, xanax at various times. Now I am on 10mg of prozac, but still feel no energy, sad most of the time and very anxious. Complicating it all, my mom died in Feb. My sister has not talked to me since. I can't work because I need a knee replacement and I just sit at home and feel like a huge failure. I don"t think any pills will solve my negative thinking. It is so hard to keep trying when I just want to pull the covers up and shut out the world
Posted by seado on July 10, 2000, at 16:39:13
In reply to Re: I feel like giving up--will I ever be balanced?, posted by quilter on July 7, 2000, at 22:48:37
>
>
> Dona,
> There are many more medications that you haven't mentioned trying. Are you seeing a psychiatrist? An antidepressant from a different class, or a combination of medicines might help you feel more able to face the problems in your life right now. Please don't think that you have run out of options. Keep after your Dr. until you get the help you need.
> Psychotherapy can also help, especially with the grieving process. I have also discovered that adequate pain relief is essential if I am to control my depression, so don't neglect that issue when you see your doctor. Quilter
I agree with Quilter on this. Strongly agree! I have spent many years working with people on antidepressants and I have taken them myself. There are so many different medications (and combinations of meds) available to you. There is also a wide "variety" of doctors able to prescribe them. I hope you are seeing someone who has a lot of experience with these meds. There are General Practitioners willing to and capable of prescribing them, and in many cases, this is a good thing, however, for some people, who don't respond completely to the more common meds and doses, a very experienced and patient psychiatrist is called for. I have worked with some very conservative M.D.'s and others more willing to work with the individual patient. In this day of Managed Care, the patient must be the one to say "I'm not well yet, let's try something new." This is a great board for familiarizing yourself with the vast array of treatments being used. I have spoken with patients who say "I tried antidepressants once and I really did'nt feel much better." Or, "They made me feel funny so I stopped taking them." Many could have gotten better with an alternate drug or change in dose. I'm not saying that meds alone will solve all of your problems. Each case is so different. But, if it is determined that you could benefit from an antidepressant, then you must find the right one. Psychiatric meds are a trial and error thing and the patients subjective report is what you've got to look at. If, say, you were diagnosed with high blood pressure, and a doctor started you on a diuretic, and your BP went from 220/160 down to 200/120, after ample time, you would certainly not consider this improvement enough. Another drug would have to be tried. No patient, taking an antidepressant should accept anything less. Feeling "slightly better" is not good enough. If you are saying "I feel like giving up", this would indicate a serious problem. As serious as a BP of 220/160 if not more so. That is no way to live. Learn to expect more for yourself and demand it. I suggest that you discuss with your M.D. his thinking on trying different meds. He should take the lead and talk to you about whats available. If he minimizes your situation, find a new doctor. Good luck. Now,sit down and make a plan. List every last detail of what you need to do for yourself . Visualize yourself getting the list done and gradually getting better. Take it one day at a time and keep that list by your side everywhere you go. Add to it, cross things off as you go. And there is no deadline. Take all the time you need and get yourself better!
Posted by Noa on July 12, 2000, at 15:18:57
In reply to Re: I feel like giving up--will I ever be balanced? » Dona, posted by Kath on July 8, 2000, at 19:03:14
I had a previous post that seems to have gotten lost.
Dona, you are dealing with so much at once. Major losses, and a major surgery to recuperate from.
I can pretty much date my total depressive paralysis to when I had knee surgery over 5 years ago. It was much less invasive than yours, just removal of a torn miniscus. But it immobilized me. I had already been somewhat immobilized by the injury and then 2 reinjuries, and hadn't really gotten over it. After the surgery, I became phobic about exercising because the last time I had reinjured it was during my first day back at exercising after recovering from the previous reinjury.
So, I became very sedentary, and this added to my depression. In addition, being sedentary caused me to put on weight. The additional weight contributed to my developing sleep apnea, which really exacerbated the depression because I was almost completely deprived of REM sleep, and also had oxygen desaturation. Meanwhile, I believe this is about the time my hypothyroid got worse,
All of these things seem to feed on each other and make things worse. I then became refractory to my AD treatment, and started the "quest" for the right med combos.
Anyway, since you have been under such extreme stress, I think this isn't the time to "evaluate" your total ten year battle with depression. Isn't it likely that right now, your view of how hopeful/hopeless is your prognosis would be highly colored by your current situation, which is so heavily laden with stress and loss?
What supports do you have in your life? Now is the time to access whatever support you can. This place is good, but you also need supports in person, too.
Are you satisfied with the rehab services you are getting for your knee replacement? Might they have any emotional support services for people rehabing from this kind of surgery?
Finally, I must mention the endocrine thing. If you have had a refractory depression, it isn't a bad idea to see a good endocrinologist and check into thryoid or other possible contributing factors. You can get recs for good endos at the following site:
http://thyroid.about.com/health/thyroid/library/weekly/bldoc1.htm
Good luck. And, keep in touch here. The support can be great.
Posted by Dona on July 12, 2000, at 16:45:04
In reply to Re: I feel like giving up--will I ever be balanced?, posted by Noa on July 12, 2000, at 15:18:57
I really appreciate everyone's support. I wish I could take your words to heart. But I just feel so useless since I can't work. And I am an RN so I will probably never be able to do hands on nursing again. I see a new psych. next week. Maybe different meds will help. But I know is is more about being at peace with myself and that is so damn hard.
Posted by Kath on July 13, 2000, at 8:40:30
In reply to Re: I feel like giving up--will I ever be balanced?, posted by Dona on July 12, 2000, at 16:45:04
Hi Dona - Thx for letting us know how it's going. Hopefully you'll like your psych & that will help you.
Thinking of you. Kath
> I really appreciate everyone's support. I wish I could take your words to heart. But I just feel so useless since I can't work. And I am an RN so I will probably never be able to do hands on nursing again. I see a new psych. next week. Maybe different meds will help. But I know is is more about being at peace with myself and that is so damn hard.
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