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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Valley Girl on May 19, 2000, at 14:03:06
I have not posted lately. Celexa was the reason for my posting at all the last time I was here. I had just started it and was having terrible side-effects.
My psyc nurse practioner told me to stop after 5 weeks on 20mgs. She then gave me a sample of Effexor. I still have it, that was what, 5 weeks ago. After reading posts here, I was terrified of taking it. In the past Paxil didn't help, anitriptyline(spelling)?, hospitalization. I was depressed not crazy!Everyone here is different and unique and quite empathetic and bright. You all have your reasons for doing the meds and whatever else you need to heal your ailments. Believe me, I know what depression is. I have been there my whole 42 year old life. The hole keeps getting deeper and deeper and then someone fills it in with dirt, the problem, your still in the damn thing!
When posting, at first my anger was there, on the surface, people here tried to comfort with words of "God" or "get over it". It really made me mad. For you see I am still an athiest. Always will be. Prove it to me. Anyway, being this athiest, I have had a truely good experience, I am not depressed anymore! This is the absolute first time I have not been depressed! Angry, sad,lonely, but not depressed. Expressing these emotions instead of supressing them has made the difference. The only word I knew for how I felt was depression. Does this make sense to anyone?
My therapist said that I actually looked physically different, beautiful. The psyc nurse practioner, said exactly the same thing. She said I glowed with inner beauty. Like a I had a spirutual awakening. Well, maybe, all I know is I feel like someone else. A better someone else that can face the world with all the crap in it and say this is me. Maybe the depression was a gift for me. It made me realize that I was strong enough to take it. Fight it, survive it.
Depression is inherited in my family, like red hair, small hands and psyhic ability. It's the Irish, Druid influence......
I have been told by my therapist and others that I probably will never go back to my deep depression. That is the dramatic change they see in me. Oh, I will get depressed but it will be the same as anyone, I will get out of it.Take care. I don't need meds. I don't think I ever did. I just needed self realization. I hope everyone here can get well.
Valley Girl
Posted by Cynthia M on May 19, 2000, at 15:48:37
In reply to Self Realization, posted by Valley Girl on May 19, 2000, at 14:03:06
Valley Girl- Congratulations on your self realization... I have come to similar terms regarding the issue of self injury. No one can help me but me! I am a firm believer in meds where they are indicated ( for example regarding my Bipolar Disorder) but I have come to believe that these people ( the psychs) foster a sense of dependence and then when you really feel that you need them , you are"just trying to get attention". I am through with being a pawn in this game. I will go as often is neccesary to continue my meds, No more than once a month, but , I will no longer be a "professional Mental Patient" No more lables! Liberation! It does change not only your outlook but your physical look as well. Congrats again-Cyndy
Posted by tina on May 19, 2000, at 15:50:07
In reply to Self Realization, posted by Valley Girl on May 19, 2000, at 14:03:06
Can you elaborate on your "spiritual awakening" What did you do to make the difference, I'd love to know.
> I have not posted lately. Celexa was the reason for my posting at all the last time I was here. I had just started it and was having terrible side-effects.
> My psyc nurse practioner told me to stop after 5 weeks on 20mgs. She then gave me a sample of Effexor. I still have it, that was what, 5 weeks ago. After reading posts here, I was terrified of taking it. In the past Paxil didn't help, anitriptyline(spelling)?, hospitalization. I was depressed not crazy!
>
> Everyone here is different and unique and quite empathetic and bright. You all have your reasons for doing the meds and whatever else you need to heal your ailments. Believe me, I know what depression is. I have been there my whole 42 year old life. The hole keeps getting deeper and deeper and then someone fills it in with dirt, the problem, your still in the damn thing!
>
> When posting, at first my anger was there, on the surface, people here tried to comfort with words of "God" or "get over it". It really made me mad. For you see I am still an athiest. Always will be. Prove it to me. Anyway, being this athiest, I have had a truely good experience, I am not depressed anymore! This is the absolute first time I have not been depressed! Angry, sad,lonely, but not depressed. Expressing these emotions instead of supressing them has made the difference. The only word I knew for how I felt was depression. Does this make sense to anyone?
>
> My therapist said that I actually looked physically different, beautiful. The psyc nurse practioner, said exactly the same thing. She said I glowed with inner beauty. Like a I had a spirutual awakening. Well, maybe, all I know is I feel like someone else. A better someone else that can face the world with all the crap in it and say this is me. Maybe the depression was a gift for me. It made me realize that I was strong enough to take it. Fight it, survive it.
> Depression is inherited in my family, like red hair, small hands and psyhic ability. It's the Irish, Druid influence......
>
>
> I have been told by my therapist and others that I probably will never go back to my deep depression. That is the dramatic change they see in me. Oh, I will get depressed but it will be the same as anyone, I will get out of it.
>
> Take care. I don't need meds. I don't think I ever did. I just needed self realization. I hope everyone here can get well.
>
> Valley Girl
Posted by SLS on May 19, 2000, at 23:12:33
In reply to Self Realization, posted by Valley Girl on May 19, 2000, at 14:03:06
Yay.
> I have been told by my therapist and others that I probably will never go back to my deep depression.Believe it. I've been told by a very reliable source that it is important to avoid chronic stress and perfectionism, as this will help to prevent relapse. It sounds like you've got all the tools necessary.
Good luck.
> I hope everyone here can get well.
>
> Valley Girl
Yay.
Take care,
Scott
Posted by allisonm on May 21, 2000, at 12:02:29
In reply to Re: Self Realization, posted by SLS on May 19, 2000, at 23:12:33
>> it is important to avoid chronic stress and perfectionism, as this will help to prevent relapse.<<
Gosh, is THAT all? I have about as much chance of that as a ___(fill in with your favorite cliche...)___
Posted by Tom on May 22, 2000, at 12:57:33
In reply to Self Realization, posted by Valley Girl on May 19, 2000, at 14:03:06
Can you say specifically what triggered your catharsis?
> I have not posted lately. Celexa was the reason for my posting at all the last time I was here. I had just started it and was having terrible side-effects.
> My psyc nurse practioner told me to stop after 5 weeks on 20mgs. She then gave me a sample of Effexor. I still have it, that was what, 5 weeks ago. After reading posts here, I was terrified of taking it. In the past Paxil didn't help, anitriptyline(spelling)?, hospitalization. I was depressed not crazy!
>
> Everyone here is different and unique and quite empathetic and bright. You all have your reasons for doing the meds and whatever else you need to heal your ailments. Believe me, I know what depression is. I have been there my whole 42 year old life. The hole keeps getting deeper and deeper and then someone fills it in with dirt, the problem, your still in the damn thing!
>
> When posting, at first my anger was there, on the surface, people here tried to comfort with words of "God" or "get over it". It really made me mad. For you see I am still an athiest. Always will be. Prove it to me. Anyway, being this athiest, I have had a truely good experience, I am not depressed anymore! This is the absolute first time I have not been depressed! Angry, sad,lonely, but not depressed. Expressing these emotions instead of supressing them has made the difference. The only word I knew for how I felt was depression. Does this make sense to anyone?
>
> My therapist said that I actually looked physically different, beautiful. The psyc nurse practioner, said exactly the same thing. She said I glowed with inner beauty. Like a I had a spirutual awakening. Well, maybe, all I know is I feel like someone else. A better someone else that can face the world with all the crap in it and say this is me. Maybe the depression was a gift for me. It made me realize that I was strong enough to take it. Fight it, survive it.
> Depression is inherited in my family, like red hair, small hands and psyhic ability. It's the Irish, Druid influence......
>
>
> I have been told by my therapist and others that I probably will never go back to my deep depression. That is the dramatic change they see in me. Oh, I will get depressed but it will be the same as anyone, I will get out of it.
>
> Take care. I don't need meds. I don't think I ever did. I just needed self realization. I hope everyone here can get well.
>
> Valley Girl
Posted by Valley Girl on May 22, 2000, at 14:34:47
In reply to Re: Self Realization - How did it happen?, posted by Tom on May 22, 2000, at 12:57:33
> Can you say specifically what triggered your catharsis?
>I wish I could, I would bottle it and sell it!
It seems I had enough. It was time for me to just let go of all of the stuff that was keeping me depressed, whatever that was. People look outside themselves for strength, for god, for emotional support, stability, we need to look inside ourselves for all of those things. It is the scariest thing to do. Sometimes it is just black, the depression, the hole.
For me, it was seeing my brother after 20 years. I visited him in prison and cried my eyes out. I hadn't cried in about 10 years. I was an emotional cripple. I work two jobs. I live alone. I was running from emotions, and hiding in depression. My spiritual awakening happened when I realized that I was the only one that could change me. I was in control. No one, nothing, no higher power pulling the strings, just me.
I am psyhic and empathic. I hear voices, all the time. They aren't for me! I am a psyhic sponge and I feel everyones' emotions and I was a basketcase because of it. Now I know that these feelings weren't mine, they were other people's. Does this make sense? I was picking up on other people's vibes when they lived 2 miles down the street! I still do, I just know it isn't me, it is them. This is very hard to describe. I hope I don't sound crazy. For years, I thought I truely
was. When I finally told this therapist about my voices, she looked at me with no suprise and no judgement, "Well, you know they aren't for you". Wow! Anyone else would have locked me up for being schizo!
My psyc. nurse practioner said exactly the same thing and showed me some techniques for shutting them out. So, before I go to sleep, I hit the off button.I made a vow not to be judgemental. The saddness I feel in some of you is like quicksand. For me seeing the reactions that some of you write about medications, and taking something to fall asleep, to wake up, to stop anger, ect. Maybe we just weren't made for this kind of society. I think it is a sad commentary on life when we teach our children that money and things are the most important, instead of reaching our unique, untapped spirituality, and being kind and considerate of each other. When we drive our kids to excel at college, jobs, do the best you can, what kind of stress are we handing them. We should teach meditation, reiki, empathy, from day one, then maybe all of us would be able to handle what we are handed.
Valley Girl
> > I have not posted lately. Celexa was the reason for my posting at all the last time I was here. I had just started it and was having terrible side-effects.
> > My psyc nurse practioner told me to stop after 5 weeks on 20mgs. She then gave me a sample of Effexor. I still have it, that was what, 5 weeks ago. After reading posts here, I was terrified of taking it. In the past Paxil didn't help, anitriptyline(spelling)?, hospitalization. I was depressed not crazy!
> >
> > Everyone here is different and unique and quite empathetic and bright. You all have your reasons for doing the meds and whatever else you need to heal your ailments. Believe me, I know what depression is. I have been there my whole 42 year old life. The hole keeps getting deeper and deeper and then someone fills it in with dirt, the problem, your still in the damn thing!
> >
> > When posting, at first my anger was there, on the surface, people here tried to comfort with words of "God" or "get over it". It really made me mad. For you see I am still an athiest. Always will be. Prove it to me. Anyway, being this athiest, I have had a truely good experience, I am not depressed anymore! This is the absolute first time I have not been depressed! Angry, sad,lonely, but not depressed. Expressing these emotions instead of supressing them has made the difference. The only word I knew for how I felt was depression. Does this make sense to anyone?
> >
> > My therapist said that I actually looked physically different, beautiful. The psyc nurse practioner, said exactly the same thing. She said I glowed with inner beauty. Like a I had a spirutual awakening. Well, maybe, all I know is I feel like someone else. A better someone else that can face the world with all the crap in it and say this is me. Maybe the depression was a gift for me. It made me realize that I was strong enough to take it. Fight it, survive it.
> > Depression is inherited in my family, like red hair, small hands and psyhic ability. It's the Irish, Druid influence......
> >
> >
> > I have been told by my therapist and others that I probably will never go back to my deep depression. That is the dramatic change they see in me. Oh, I will get depressed but it will be the same as anyone, I will get out of it.
> >
> > Take care. I don't need meds. I don't think I ever did. I just needed self realization. I hope everyone here can get well.
> >
> > Valley Girl
Posted by Noa on May 22, 2000, at 18:29:12
In reply to Re: Self Realization - How did it happen?, posted by Valley Girl on May 22, 2000, at 14:34:47
Valley Girl,
Your story reminds me of my own "disillusionment" in my mid twenties. I needed to hit a bottom and then I came to the realization that only I could help myself, and that is the point when I started getting better. For me, the improvement lasted a few years, but my depression returned in my early thirties, unfortunately. I think my recovery at this point involves a different process than it did when I was younger, both because of my age/stage but also because this time around there are many more physical aspects to it, and it is more severe.
Posted by SLS on May 23, 2000, at 6:44:49
In reply to Re: Self Realization - How did it happen?, posted by Noa on May 22, 2000, at 18:29:12
Self-Actualization. (Try it. It's a lot of fun)
My changes began at the beginning. Self-awareness. A sense of self. For me, I was able to begin the development of inner strength once I began to establish my autonomy as a human self.
There's more, but this is where I started.
- Scott
Posted by harry b. on May 23, 2000, at 11:06:53
In reply to Re: Self Realization - How did it happen?, posted by SLS on May 23, 2000, at 6:44:49
I think the concept or attainment of self realization
is the goal behind defining one's belief system,
which I mentioned here a while back.I'm still struggling with it. It's akin to cleaning
out the attic. So much bs to discard (and it's
hard to throw some of those cherished things, ideas,
thoughts, conceptions and misconceptions away). It
can be even more difficult to accept and embrace
what remains.
Posted by Valley Girl on May 23, 2000, at 13:29:47
In reply to Re: Self Realization - How did it happen?, posted by harry b. on May 23, 2000, at 11:06:53
>
> I think the concept or attainment of self realization
> is the goal behind defining one's belief system,
> which I mentioned here a while back.
>
> I'm still struggling with it. It's akin to cleaning
> out the attic. So much bs to discard (and it's
> hard to throw some of those cherished things, ideas,
> thoughts, conceptions and misconceptions away). It
> can be even more difficult to accept and embrace
> what remains.
>You are so right on with that statement!
Sometimes the only thing under the rock is the slimey, yucky stuff. You just have to see the rich soil, the micro organisms, even the slippery mud worms as a beautiful thing. Hard to do, I know!!!
Good luck!
This is the end of the thread.
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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