Shown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Carolyn on March 1, 2000, at 8:23:35
I am currently on short-term disability. My company wants to know when I might return to work. I started a new med a week and a half ago with no effects yet. I have no idea how to answer this question...and I doubt that my doctor does either. Who knows if this med will work, or how long it will take if it does! I am also wondering how to know when it is time to go back to work. I know it's not now...but is there any guideline? In the past I have always wanted to work when I felt good. Should I wait for that...try sooner?
Anybody with any ideas?
Posted by Noa on March 1, 2000, at 8:51:25
In reply to When to go back to work, posted by Carolyn on March 1, 2000, at 8:23:35
Carolyn, those are good questions. I don't know how I would decide, either.
I am not on disability, have a job, but have had a bad attendance and punctuality record. I'm home today, just couldn't get going, even tho I was up and out of bed early enough. Today, I am having fantasies of taking a leave of absence. But I don't think I am covered by disabilite ins. yet--too new on the job. And a leave of absence with no income would be a major problem, as I have no savings. But I feel my employer must be getting to the end of their patience with me. I have been doing a shoddy job, and am very behind in my work, partly due to absences and arriving late, but also because I am not very productive. My organizational skills have never been great, but they have gone totally to pot. I just get overwhelmed so easily. I feel like I want to tell my boss if she is thinking of firing me, it would be ok, because I deserve it, doing such a shoddy job.
The thing is, I dont know what being out of work would do for me. I don't think it would be good. Maybe I need to do a part time job with no tasks that are challenging to my organizational skills. I still don't think that would be good. I don't know.
Obviously I am in a terrible mood right now. Maybe my thoughts won't seem so bleak later.
Posted by Carolyn on March 1, 2000, at 9:06:42
In reply to Re: When to go back to work, posted by Noa on March 1, 2000, at 8:51:25
Noa:
I was much in the same boat as you seem to be when I went on disability. I was able to cover up my lack of productivity pretty well by pushing things off onto my assistant, who, bless her, knows about my depression and was willing to go the extra mile. But I was just downright nasty to people, couldn't concentrate, and then started having crying spells at work. Fortunately I have been at my present job for ten years and have a very understanding boss as well.
As for you...maybe if you explained your problem to your supervisor and outlined what you are doing to help yourself feel better and improve your performance, they would be willing to work with you. What have you got to lose if the alternatives seem to be quitting or getting fired?
People can be a lot more understanding than we think sometimes. I am pretty open about my illness, because I am "normal" for lengthy periods of time, and I think that helps to eliminate the stigma. I have never had anyone totally reject me because they knew I had depression...or even those who knew I had been hospitalized. Anyway, I wouldn't recommend sharing your whole life story, but just enough to let them know you can do better and you will when you are feeling better. Good luck and keep in touch!
Posted by Janice on March 1, 2000, at 10:58:17
In reply to When to go back to work, posted by Carolyn on March 1, 2000, at 8:23:35
I'd go by your past experience of work and your depression. That when you feel okay, you actually want to work.
My only fear for you (I am projecting myself in your situation) would be that not working could make you more depressed.
By the sounds of it though, you sound happy with your time off, and that you have a good relationship with your employer and employees.
I fall apart like cheap luggage when I don't work - and that includes the weekends.
I hope your meds kick in very soon, Janice.
Posted by Janice on March 1, 2000, at 11:07:42
In reply to Re: When to go back to work/Noa, posted by Carolyn on March 1, 2000, at 9:06:42
You're in pretty bad shape. I would have never known this by your other postings.
I like Carolyn's idea of a frank talk with your employers, and maybe assuming part-time duties or hours.
Do you usually do well when you don't work Noa? Maybe you need a break.
You're always so helpful and understanding with everyone else.
Janice
Posted by Carolyn on March 1, 2000, at 12:18:31
In reply to Noa...When to go back to work, posted by Janice on March 1, 2000, at 11:07:42
Janice: Thanks for the advice. I do try to keep busy at home...and since it takes me about two hours just to get out of bed and take a shower, you can imagine how long other tasks take! So there is always work to be done. I also try to take a walk every day, and I watch movies or dumb TV shows or read...anything so as not to just sit around feeling sorry for myself. Of course there are times when I do that too. I also hope the meds kick in soon!
Carolyn
Posted by Noa on March 1, 2000, at 15:35:37
In reply to Re: ..When to go back to work/Janice, posted by Carolyn on March 1, 2000, at 12:18:31
Janice,
Usually, I am like you, needing to work, and being happier at work than at home. What is happening this year is new. I think not working wouldn't be good for me, though.
I have been open with my employer. In November when I really fell apart big time, I talked to my supervisor. I worked part time for a few weeks, and other people covered what I couldn't do. But then when I was doing better, they all seemed so relieved, as everyone works so hard. Now, as I am slipping again, it seems to be hard for my supervisor. She seems less patient about it, also because I think she is becoming aware of some of the things I have not done well, things that should have been completed long ago, etc.
BTW, I slept for about four hours just now and feel a bit better than when I wrote that last post.
The frustration about the depression is still with me, though.
Posted by kelly on March 1, 2000, at 17:33:03
In reply to When to go back to work, posted by Carolyn on March 1, 2000, at 8:23:35
> I am currently on short-term disability. My company wants to know when I might return to work. I started a new med a week and a half ago with no effects yet. I have no idea how to answer this question...and I doubt that my doctor does either. Who knows if this med will work, or how long it will take if it does! I am also wondering how to know when it is time to go back to work. I know it's not now...but is there any guideline? In the past I have always wanted to work when I felt good. Should I wait for that...try sooner?
> Anybody with any ideas?I went p/t for 2mos. then thing got worries & i was out for 3mos. w/ no money coming in on my end,so that made it hard.when i started to feel more down i knew it was time to go back,& it helped me w/ my depression I need to keep busy.
When I'm home i get real down,but that's me.
BTW what kind of work do you do?
Posted by Carolyn on March 1, 2000, at 21:59:39
In reply to Re: When to go back to work/carolyn, posted by kelly on March 1, 2000, at 17:33:03
Hi Kelly...
I am a copywriter at a radio station. It is a very high-pressure job, especially at certain times of the year...March-May and Sept-Nov most
notably. I tried working part time before I went on disability and that didn't work out very well.
So when I go back, I want to be able to go back full time. I saw my pdoc today...he says lets give the Wellbutrin more time to work, and he'll call me next Wednesday and see if I seem ready to go back on the 13th. So I guess it's just a waiting game right now.
Posted by JohnL on March 2, 2000, at 3:23:17
In reply to When to go back to work, posted by Carolyn on March 1, 2000, at 8:23:35
> I am currently on short-term disability. My company wants to know when I might return to work. I started a new med a week and a half ago with no effects yet. I have no idea how to answer this question...and I doubt that my doctor does either. Who knows if this med will work, or how long it will take if it does! I am also wondering how to know when it is time to go back to work. I know it's not now...but is there any guideline? In the past I have always wanted to work when I felt good. Should I wait for that...try sooner?
> Anybody with any ideas?I can sure relate. Depression is a serious handicap for me. I have discovered though that going to work, no matter what, is healthier for me than any other choice. The hardest things I've ever done in my life are: getting ready for work, getting in the car, walking through the front door at work, and starting the day's work. Even when I'm relatively OK, the dread and proscrastination is smothering.
But for me work is healthy. Not therapeutic, but healthy. Waiting within the four walls of my home with little outside contact or responsibility only makes things even worse than work does.
I accept that I won't be as productive as I would like at work. But sometimes I am surprised to find I do better than expected once I get started. For me work is a form of escape. I try to focus on each task one at a time, dive in, and in a way it is kind of a temporary distraction or escape from my depression. It allows my mind to at least temporarily be occupied with other thoughts than just how bad I feel. There is no perfect world, and we're all different, but for me forcing myself to go to work is healthier than staying home. I find it's not as bad as I expected once I actually get started. It is a forced distraction from the misery of stubborn depression.
Posted by Carolyn on March 2, 2000, at 8:28:41
In reply to Re: When to go back to work, posted by JohnL on March 2, 2000, at 3:23:17
I agree with everything you are saying...I know it would be good for me to be with the people at work...the problem is that I am a copywriter for a radio station, and I can not concentrate right now well enough to do my job, which often has immediate deadlines. If I could just do repetitive physical labor of some sort it would be fine...but I know I CAN NOT do my regular job.
Hopefully the new med will work, and work soon!In previous depressive periods I have been able to go to work, though feeling the same as you do. I admire your courage and willpower, because I know how hard it can be.
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