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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Diane on February 23, 2000, at 15:34:59
My fiance has been severely depressed for a long time
(years and years) and has not respondend to meds. He
has tried more than I can list here, but is currently
taking (sorry I don't know all the doses): Prozac
(80 mil), Effexor, Ritalin, Respiridone (small dose),
and Synthroid (though his thyroid tests fine). The
pdoc is now recommending ECT. She does not see any point
in continuing to mess with the meds. He is very reluctant,
mostly because he would have to tell his work about the
problems (though he is on the verge of loosing his job, so
I doubt they would be too surprised), take a leave, and because of the
memory loss potential. My question to the group is:
shall I push him to do this or let him alone to make
his own decision? He is very, very, very indecisive and
will probably not do anything if I don't push. I do know
him well enough to feel that if I push, he'll do what
I ask (mostly because he doesn't trust his own judgement)
I feel very hesitant to interfere in this way, but I
also hate to see him suffering so much.
Thanks for any advice.
Posted by Noa on February 23, 2000, at 16:11:51
In reply to how to help?, posted by Diane on February 23, 2000, at 15:34:59
I don't think I would be comfortable pushing him to decide for the ECT, but that is me. What you can do, is help him structure his decision making process, help him map it out verbally and visually. Good luck, this is tough.
Posted by Noa on February 23, 2000, at 16:13:56
In reply to how to help?, posted by Diane on February 23, 2000, at 15:34:59
Another thing you can do is think clearly about your own limits--what can or can't you tolerate? Then, communicate to him that if he can make it work with another strategy, you will support him, but here are what my limits are , here is what I need in order to make a life with you.
Posted by Diane on February 24, 2000, at 16:10:27
In reply to Re: how to help?-2nd thought, posted by Noa on February 23, 2000, at 16:13:56
Thanks Noa.
Although this might not change my behavior any, it does help me to frame it in terms of structured decision making and limit setting.
I know that I am at a point where I need him to do something and ECT is the only thing the docs. are offering. If he or I could think of another strategy, that would be great.
Sadly, I have been trying and not come up with anything and he really is not in any shape to think creatively about his problems.
Posted by mme_l on March 1, 2000, at 12:08:17
In reply to Re: how to help?-thanks, posted by Diane on February 24, 2000, at 16:10:27
> Hi Diane,
I think the best thing you could do is to do as much research as you can on the subject. Have your boyfriend join you. Talk out everything you can find! Perhaps the most frightening thing is not knowing. Your boyfriend may feel better about making a decision if he is well informed, and you, too! Perhaps there's somone that has been through the procedure that would be willing to share their experience?
Apologies if you feel as if you've done as much of an info search as you can already... Good luck to you both!
Laurie
Posted by Ruth on March 1, 2000, at 18:21:35
In reply to how to help?, posted by Diane on February 23, 2000, at 15:34:59
You're in a very difficult situation. Clearly you need for him to try something else to address his treatment resistant depression. I would just caution that he has to accept responsibility for the decision so you don't end up blamed if he tries it and it doesn't work, or if he problems with residual memory loss. I agree with Noa, that you can help him think through pros and cons and cionsider alternatives. He also needs to know if your relationship is contingent upon his depression getting better.
> My fiance has been severely depressed for a long time
> (years and years) and has not respondend to meds. He
> has tried more than I can list here, but is currently
> taking (sorry I don't know all the doses): Prozac
> (80 mil), Effexor, Ritalin, Respiridone (small dose),
> and Synthroid (though his thyroid tests fine). The
> pdoc is now recommending ECT. She does not see any point
> in continuing to mess with the meds. He is very reluctant,
> mostly because he would have to tell his work about the
> problems (though he is on the verge of loosing his job, so
> I doubt they would be too surprised), take a leave, and because of the
> memory loss potential. My question to the group is:
> shall I push him to do this or let him alone to make
> his own decision? He is very, very, very indecisive and
> will probably not do anything if I don't push. I do know
> him well enough to feel that if I push, he'll do what
> I ask (mostly because he doesn't trust his own judgement)
> I feel very hesitant to interfere in this way, but I
> also hate to see him suffering so much.
> Thanks for any advice.
This is the end of the thread.
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