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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 1 to 17 of 17. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Abby on December 17, 1999, at 9:50:55
Noa,
I just wanted to check how the lithium was
treating you. I don't remember what day you're
on. What other drugs are in your cocktail?Take care,
Abby
Posted by Noa on December 17, 1999, at 10:48:12
In reply to Noa--How's the lithium going?, posted by Abby on December 17, 1999, at 9:50:55
Hey, Abby, thanks for asking.
I am on day 15, or perhaps I should say I am starting week 3. Just the past day or two I have noticed a significant improvement. I have started to have more energy and have started doing some work at work. It is hard, because I am still behind, way behind, and it is hard to get myself organized. Getting myself to do some tasks is a bit hard, and I avoid them, but bit by bit I am doing more. I am also staying focused on the essentials at work, rather than taking on anything new. This entails having to say no to colleagues looking for help with various things/projects. Usually it is par for the course to pitch in, but I am able to say that at the moment I need to stick to the basics. Luckily, so far, the colleagues who have asked have been those who are aware of my depression and they are presenting the requests with an option to say no, and are understanding when I do. I am proud of myself for maintaining this boundary. I know that I can loosen the boundary some as I feel better.
My mood is also better. I feel more optimistic, even if in a guarded way.
Last night I suddenly decided to pull together all this stuff I have that I don't need that I have been meaning to give away but haven't had the energy to do so. The impetus was that the radio station I listen to was holding a drive at a local firehouse to collect stuff for a family of 9 (2 parents, 7 children, one of whom died yesterday--not clear if from an unrelated illness or some combo of illness and reaction to fire) who were burned out of house and home. My decision was kind of impromptu and I ran around manically purging, pulling together all manner of household stuff that just takes up space and I don't need or use. The purge felt great. This morning I brought it over early, and it was extremely gratifying. Perhaps it is the pathos of the tragedy, lots of kids, etc. and right before Christmas to boot, but I really got into it. It made me feel good. I got out of my depressive rut temporarily.So far, today is going well. I am getting stuff done, and meeting with people whom I should have met with weeks ago to coordinate stuff.
We'll see how my mood fares over the weekend. A lot of times it is difficult for me because I hole up in the apartment, which is so messy it does not feel like home. I will try not to isolate myself, but sometimes it is hard for me to get my act together to see people.
The urination and thirst continue, a little less intensely than the first few days at 900 mg. But I find myself catching up on water at night, with an insatiable thirst, and I really should pace it more throughout the day. It is annoying sometimes to have to go so often, especially at night. I tell myself, if the lithium is good, then these adverse effects are tolerable for now, until a new and better treatment comes along.
My cocktail, or as I have started calling it, my "soup" consists of:
375 mg effexor xr in morning
20 mg methylphenidate sr in morning
25 mcg synthroid in morning
12.5 mcg cytomel in morning
300 mg lithium carbonate in morning
(likely to be increased to 600 next week)
20 mg methylphenidate sr at noon
150 mg serzone between 5 and 6 pm
600 mg lithium carbonate at bedtimeThanks for your post, Abby.
Posted by Noa on December 20, 1999, at 8:48:35
In reply to Re: Noa--How's the lithium going?, posted by Noa on December 17, 1999, at 10:48:12
"Down and Out at the Supermarket on a Saturday Night".
As expected, my weekend was hard. Couldn't motivate myself to get washed, dressed, and out. Late Saturday afternoon, I suddenly realized I was out of serzone and effexor. I had been carrying some prescriptions around since Wednesday, and had meant to fill them Thursday or Friday, but didn't get around to it. So I HAD to go out. The trip to the store was a total disaster. First, I just pulled on some dirty clothes. My hair was dirty. I covered up with a raincoat. Really looked the part. Second, I didn't have the energy to go to the store I usually go to, which has a 24 hour pharmacy and is on the way to work. So I went to the store near where I live, but one reason I don't like that pharmacy is that one of the clerks is a woman I sort of know, who knows people I know, etc. and she is kind of loud, talkative, etc. I think a lot of the customers actually like her because she is the kind of person who remembers your name and relates to each person personally. She is friendly, and I don't mind that but she is a bit abrasive, and mostly my difficulty with her is that I have difficulty feeling totally confident about her professionalism. After all, she knows an awful lot about me just from my meds.
Anyway, I decided to risk it, hoping she wouldn't be on duty, but of course she was. I managed to get a different clerk, dropped off the scrip and went to do some grocery shopping. I was a little peeved that the wait would be an hour or more, but I took my time shopping, and planned to load all the groceries first and then go back for the scrip.
After standing in a long line at the check out lane, my $56 worth of groceries turned out to be more that my bank card would manage. With a long line of shoppers behind me, I left the groceries at the register and went to the ATM machine, where I ascertained that I had $158 in my account, so I figured there must be some purchases still pending. Then I remembered I had about $500 in checks in my wallet that, like the scrips, I MEANT to deposit earlier in the week, but didn't get a round tuit. I stood in the produce section, paralyzed. I was way too embarrassed to go back to the cashier and start sorting through what I could afford and what I couldn't.
I also realized that if I was declined for a $56 bill, I would probably not be able to pay for my meds, because each brand name is $20 and each generic, $5.
So, I went and got 3 essential items, headed for the pharmacy again and asked them if I could just buy a small supply of serzone and effexor (I still had a few days' supply of the others left). That is when they told me my insurance card on file was no longer valid.
Yup, I did remember hearing that my insurance had contracted with a different company to handle the prescription benefits. And somewhere, under the blur of piles that is my unopened mail mixed with odd papers and such, is my new prescription card.
The tears started to flow. I spoke to the pharmacist about just selling me a small supply of serzone and effexor and she griped, "that would take me another 45 minutes".
As it became evident to me that I couldn't stop the tears, I walked away from the pharmacy. I just wanted to sit down in the middle of an aisle. I felt depleted. I managed to step into a corner in the back of the store, just to try to collect myself.
After a while, I went back to the pharmacy. The pharmacist did give me a few serzone and effexor pills, although because of a slight error in the way the doc wrote the scrip, she only gave me 4 effexor, when I take 5, so I had to go back again and clear that up. I would have to come back with my insurance card the next day.
The clerk I mentioned earlier now has more than my meds to associate with my name and face. Now she has my meltdown.
I was fortunate to be able to find the insurance card, and did go back, in a better mood, although still dressed in the same clothes, which I had slept in. (Gross, I know). Just to top off the whole experience, the insurance company wouldn't pay for the ritalin, which I had gotten a year's worth of prior approval for. (Something to grrrrrrrrrr about: no prior approval needed for patients under 19, but needed for those of us over 19).
Even with all of this miserable experience I couldn't help thinking how lucky I am to have prescription coverage. What would I do without it?
Posted by Phil on December 21, 1999, at 16:22:08
In reply to Re: Noa--How's the lithium going?, posted by Noa on December 20, 1999, at 8:48:35
What a F'ing nightmare...maybe we should send Steven King your post. Nevermind, I think he has a little recovery work to do.
Bless your heart, Noa
Posted by Noa on December 21, 1999, at 16:30:53
In reply to Re: Damn, Noa!, posted by Phil on December 21, 1999, at 16:22:08
Hey, Phil!
King? Maybe. Kind of reminds me of Neil Simon's The Honeymooners, with Jack Lemmon and Sandy Dennis. What's next?
Posted by Noa on December 21, 1999, at 16:32:57
In reply to Re: Damn, Noa!, posted by Noa on December 21, 1999, at 16:30:53
My friend pointed out how rough it is that when depressed you have to keep all your insurance papers straight, etc. I actually felt very relieved that I found the insurance card, because I literally go months without opening the mail, and then all the junk and important stuff gets mixed together and kicked around (literally) into a royal chaos. My apartment is not to be believed!
Posted by Phil on December 21, 1999, at 17:00:54
In reply to Re: Damn, Noa!, posted by Noa on December 21, 1999, at 16:30:53
Hey Noa,
You're right!! That is one of my favorite movies!!!!! Genius all the way around.
Posted by Phil on December 21, 1999, at 17:23:21
In reply to Re: Damn, Noa!, posted by Phil on December 21, 1999, at 17:00:54
> Hey Noa,
>
Uh, or was that the Out of Towners?
Posted by Noa on December 21, 1999, at 19:30:49
In reply to Re: Damn, Noa!, posted by Noa on December 21, 1999, at 16:30:53
Phil, LOL! uh DUH, of course it was the Out of Towners!! That is what I thought I wrote!!! I think this was an example of effexor-induced word retrieval problems.
Posted by Alice on December 21, 1999, at 19:44:44
In reply to Re: Noa--How's the lithium going?, posted by Noa on December 20, 1999, at 8:48:35
I have to say, most pharmacies today really blow! Ask them to go out of their way to do anything, and it's just too much trouble! And don't worry so much what other people think. There will always be people who are ignorant and have a stigma about people like us. I learned that back when I was 13 and I had my first hospitalization...the boy down the street found out about it, blabbed it to the whole grade. Then these people in my neighborhood who had previously asked me to babysit suddenly "had other plans". Coincidence? I learned then to not let people like that bother me. If they can't understand, then who needs them.
Posted by Phil on December 21, 1999, at 20:19:06
In reply to Re: Damn, Noa!, posted by Noa on December 21, 1999, at 19:30:49
> Phil, LOL! uh DUH, of course it was the Out of Towners!! That is what I thought I wrote!!! I think this was an example of effexor-induced word retrieval problems.
Noa, Hear what you're saying...know where you're coming from!
Posted by S. Suggs on December 22, 1999, at 5:08:22
In reply to Re: Noa--How's the lithium going?, posted by Alice on December 21, 1999, at 19:44:44
I agree! I have no problem with my depression in accepting it. Others (ie. ignorant pharmacist and others that are unknowingly trapped in their own rank stupidity) that draw false assumptions based on poor logic, deserve to be left out in the dark on what is really happening to us. Many thanks to Psycho-Babble and Babblers! Blessings,
S. Suggs
Posted by Alice on December 23, 1999, at 19:43:28
In reply to Re: Noa--How's the lithium going?, posted by S. Suggs on December 22, 1999, at 5:08:22
> I agree! I have no problem with my depression in accepting it. Others (ie. ignorant pharmacist and others that are unknowingly trapped in their own rank stupidity) that draw false assumptions based on poor logic, deserve to be left out in the dark on what is really happening to us. Many thanks to Psycho-Babble and Babblers! Blessings,
>
> S. SuggsYou are so right! Thanks for the reply...
--Alice
Posted by Bob on December 24, 1999, at 11:16:39
In reply to Re: thanks for reply, posted by Alice on December 23, 1999, at 19:43:28
Sounds like you need a holiday present. Send me your address if you're up to it, and I'll buy you one of these electronic watches with a timer. I'll set it for 60 minutes and so that it will automatically repeat, and every time you hear it you have to drink 12oz of water. Deal?
wrt: the Out-of-Towners: Sure -- anyone up to it, c'mon up to NYC and I'll show you the worst time of your life ... make you appreciate your home that much more!!! =^P ;^)
Noa, I'm glad to hear you're getting some qualitative change from the Li. I could never tolerate more than 300mg or so, 600 was definitely pushing it. I had thought it was doing nothing for me until I went off of it and crashed hard. Turns out the meds (yep, zoloft) it was supposed to be augmenting weren't doing their job in the first place ... the Li was giving me considerable, but subtle, support all along.
Bob
Posted by Noa on December 25, 1999, at 17:28:05
In reply to So, Noa, how's day 20 or so?, posted by Bob on December 24, 1999, at 11:16:39
I think the lithium is helping. Am now beginning my fourth week. Peeing very regulary. Drinking, too. this higher dose (1200/day) seems to put the sedation from the serzone over the top, so I am starting to take the serzone later (was taking it at 5-6 pm, so it would kick in in time for sleep). I might decide to lower the serzone if the sedation makes it hard to wake up in the am. But I will give it a few weeks, and then decide.
I am at my parents', which has been ok. The only "mom" comment yet has been to ask if the lithium is going to make me gain weight and to say I couldn't afford to gain any more. But I have learned not to react. I am also trying to be patient with some of the quirks that seem to be accompanying their old age, especially my Dad's, like the way he seems to come into a conversation and be about 5 minutes behind everyone else. I can't tell what causes this. It use to be his poor hearing, but now he has hearing aids. I dunno, maybe he turns em off. But it is not just hearing. It is the way he explains things to me that he should know that I already know, like when he was showing me some photos from his recent trip. I FEEl like saying something like, YEAH YEAH I KNOW THAT, but I am being such a good grown up daughter and just listening and letting him finish.
I am not ready for this.
But all in all, it is a pleasant visit. My brother and sister in law and my two nieces came over last night, and seeing them drove home the fact that YIKES it has been about a year and a half since I have been here. The change in these two, ages 6 and 9 was tremendous. The six year old even has completely different color hair (darkened from blond to brown). I had a great time with them, and my brother seemed happier than I had seen him in a long time (he has a very stable job for the first time in a while). The 9 year old, the one with the OCD issues, seemed to be in good shape--relaxed, playful, having a great time.
Tomorrow I get together with an old DC friend who moved up here a few years ago. Then, Monday I am off to Boston for a few days with some other friends, before coming back here again.
Posted by dove on December 26, 1999, at 9:04:49
In reply to Re: So, Noa, how's day 20 or so?, posted by Noa on December 25, 1999, at 17:28:05
Good morning Noa,
You sound like one brave soul, a lot braver than me :-) I hope the rest of your trip gives you pause to smile and I hope the serzone lets up on the drowsiness. I had quite a day with my parents on Christmas Eve, I refused to go to their house because I have more power on my own territory, but my Dad still drove me nuts. The little comments and innuendos drive me bonkers, he actually mentioned that my jeans were out of style and I should buy some really baggy ones. Hah! I looked at him like he was from the X-Files.
Anyway, back to you :-) I am glad you're surviving and even more than just surviving, you're enjoying yourself a little, hopefully? You are a strong person Noa, and I thank you for sharing and caring, you have such a big heart.
May you be blessed with a little of what you give out to all of us! You are in my thoughts.
dove
Posted by Noa on December 26, 1999, at 18:56:04
In reply to Re: So, Noa, how's day 20 or so?, posted by dove on December 26, 1999, at 9:04:49
Dove, Thank you so much for your kind words. it means a lot to me.
I was nervous before taking this trip, but it is working out well. I AM enjoying it. I guess that means my meds are working. It also means my family is in a good place right now.
I am also enjoying checking in with my "Babble" family. Be well.
This is the end of the thread.
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