Shown: posts 1 to 16 of 16. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by SB on July 2, 1999, at 13:39:19
I am 31 years old and have been on 20 mg Paxil for about 5 months for mild depression and anxiety. My father is a physician and prescribed this for me. I was recently diagnosed with ADD by another physician who put me on Ritalin 30 mg/day. I knew better than to ask my father about treament for ADD, because he is no fool when it comes to me & drugs. I know the ritalin is helping, and so far I have not partied with the supply. I know this is all too possible, and I am trying to find the inner strength to stay on the prescribed doseage. I had never been a serious drug user over the years. Yeah, I have done just about everything but have never felt the sting of addiciton until I got in over my head with Hydrocodone. This went off and on for about 4 years after an automobile accident. I just loved the buzz more than any other buzz I had ever had. To make a long story short, it got to the point where I had basically an unlimited, but somewhat risky supply of the stuff. I was busted by my dad getting the stuff which was a blessing. I knew I needed long over-due counseling/treatment for my ADD. Can anyone out there relate? Offer advice? Thanks.
Posted by Cynthia on July 2, 1999, at 22:29:16
In reply to paxil, ritalin, add, & addiction, posted by SB on July 2, 1999, at 13:39:19
>I can definately relate. I'm on Dexedrine for ADD, and do I love that medication. I like it more for getting rid of my depression than for helping with my ADD. Whenever I begin a new medication I am super sensitive to it, and then I develop, very quickly, a tolerance for it. I started at 5 mg, and am now doing 15mg a day and not getting the same effect as the 5 mg had given me initially. I'm worried about what could happen in the future - becoming completely tolerant to it, taking too much of it, not being able to get any from a doctor, having troubles getting off of it. Right now if I don't take it while I'm in bed in the morning, I can't get out of bed. I'm also anorexic and dexedrine kills my appetite. Major bonus for that mental illness. To sum it up SB, I love Dexedrine and it scares the crap out of me. One psychiatrist said he wouldn't give it to me, so then I went to a family doctor to get some. Sometimes I have fantasies of going to like 5 family doctors just to stock up on it.
I have no plans to abuse it, but my 'love' of it and the severe anxiety I feel when I think about not getting any more scares me. I have to find a psychiatrist who I can tell this to and not feel afraid they are going to take it away. Maybe you need someone like this too. Let me know how you're doing.
Cynthia
Posted by Been there on July 3, 1999, at 13:31:48
In reply to Re: paxil, ritalin, add, & addiction, posted by Cynthia on July 2, 1999, at 22:29:16
...just to stock up on it.
>
> I have no plans to abuse it...
Since most ADDers do not require ever-increasing
dosages of stims, it may be that you are also
bipolar and need different medication. Don't build
your therapy on a house of cards because it will
fall. If you are begging for this med from GP's,
it wont be long before you exhaust all your sources.Tell
your original doc whats going on.If s/he is any good they will help you get better.
Don't be afraid!
Posted by SB on July 3, 1999, at 13:32:19
In reply to Re: paxil, ritalin, add, & addiction, posted by Cynthia on July 2, 1999, at 22:29:16
Thank you for your response and concern Cynthia. I am at a crucial stage in my life where I can take this ADD by the horns and deal with it with some support, or I can just continue to follow the same self-destructing patterns I always have. I truly think I have found a mentor in my psychiatrist and feel like I can tell him anything. We have only had two visits but I have given him a pretty good view into my mind. He was reluctant to prescribe Ritalin for me and we agreed to a random drug screening for other substances. You see, this Ritalin does help with impulsiveness but it is tricky. My problem with substances is I can never have enough. As a matter of fact, I am too far into this supply already and am turning it over to a friend to hold for me. When the days pass and I can resume scheduled doseage, she will bring my daily supply to work for me. I really believe in the future I will be able to deal with it alone, but for now I need all the support I can get. I live with my younger brother and he is just like me. He has ADD and a natural fascination with pharmacology and psychology. He also abuses his monthly supply of Ritalin. I know a tough road lies ahead and I will try and deal with it. Thanks again for responding and keep me informed of your situation. SB
> >I can definately relate. I'm on Dexedrine for ADD, and do I love that medication. I like it more for getting rid of my depression than for helping with my ADD. Whenever I begin a new medication I am super sensitive to it, and then I develop, very quickly, a tolerance for it. I started at 5 mg, and am now doing 15mg a day and not getting the same effect as the 5 mg had given me initially. I'm worried about what could happen in the future - becoming completely tolerant to it, taking too much of it, not being able to get any from a doctor, having troubles getting off of it. Right now if I don't take it while I'm in bed in the morning, I can't get out of bed. I'm also anorexic and dexedrine kills my appetite. Major bonus for that mental illness. To sum it up SB, I love Dexedrine and it scares the crap out of me. One psychiatrist said he wouldn't give it to me, so then I went to a family doctor to get some. Sometimes I have fantasies of going to like 5 family doctors just to stock up on it.
>
> I have no plans to abuse it, but my 'love' of it and the severe anxiety I feel when I think about not getting any more scares me. I have to find a psychiatrist who I can tell this to and not feel afraid they are going to take it away. Maybe you need someone like this too. Let me know how you're doing.
>
> Cynthia
Posted by Cynthia on July 4, 1999, at 21:50:43
In reply to Re: paxil, ritalin, add, & addiction, posted by SB on July 3, 1999, at 13:32:19
>Hi SB,
I'm glad you're relating well to your psychiatrist and being responsible with your medications. It sounds like you really want to change. The best thing is, or the most hopeful thing is that psychiatrists use their medications to get patients to a 'good average' (this is what my previous psychiatrist told me). So I'm thinking people who feel a nice stable 'good' don't feel the need to do recreational drugs. For me, after about 10 days on paxil, I simply didn't drink again (no effort required). Just keep the channels of communication open with your psychiatrist (maybe your dose of ritalin isn't high enough for you).
Me, I'm planning to make a doctor's appointment for the week of July 12 to find a new psychiatrist (I've moved cities). I've been putting this off for months because of one little tiny winy bad experience that filled me with incredible amounts of anxiety (not getting my dexedrine). Do you still party alot?
Take care
Cynthia
Posted by anna on July 10, 1999, at 11:32:04
In reply to Re: paxil, ritalin, add, & addiction, posted by Cynthia on July 4, 1999, at 21:50:43
> >hi sb and cynthia, it sounds like youare playing with fire but you both know it. I'm on paxil, pain medication and benzodiazipines. I'm always taking too much of the pain med and think i'm probably addicted to the benzos too. I justify it cos it makes me feel normal and able to cope with life. I dont feel drugged at all- just normal but i need increasing amounts so my tolerance is getting higher and higher. Do yourselves a favour and stop or cut down before it gets out of hand. you'll probably feel awful for a while but it'll be worth it in the long run. Does it sound like i'm talking myself into it? Perhaps i need amphetamines rather than benzos. God what a mess. I just want to be happy and motivated, and not dependant on any drugs or doctors and pharmicists. Good Luck and take care
anna
Posted by SB on July 10, 1999, at 11:59:25
In reply to Re: paxil, ritalin, add, & addiction, posted by Cynthia on July 4, 1999, at 21:50:43
Hi Anna. I can certainly say that I have been there with pain medication. That is what started it all for me as far as dependency is concerned. Why are you on pain killers? What are you taking? With me, it was Hydrocodone. (Lortab, Vicodin, Lorcet, etc.) Cough syrup too. (Codiclear DH, Protuss, etc.) It became a nasty habit that got so bad that I pretty much hit bottom. I have known for years that I have ADD, and I know that many people with ADD that do not recieve treatment, medicate themselves with substances. The pain killers actually helped me concentrate, like a stimulant. And they kept me awake, not drowsy. Anyway, I feel good about my treatment and my Ritalin medication which I have taken as prescribed. The Ritalin has helped with my cravings and, for the most part, eliminated my impulsiveness. I hope you find what you are looking for in terms of your happiness. You may need to continue to see doctors until you find what works for you. Good luck.
SB
> >Hi SB,
>
> I'm glad you're relating well to your psychiatrist and being responsible with your medications. It sounds like you really want to change. The best thing is, or the most hopeful thing is that psychiatrists use their medications to get patients to a 'good average' (this is what my previous psychiatrist told me). So I'm thinking people who feel a nice stable 'good' don't feel the need to do recreational drugs. For me, after about 10 days on paxil, I simply didn't drink again (no effort required). Just keep the channels of communication open with your psychiatrist (maybe your dose of ritalin isn't high enough for you).
>
> Me, I'm planning to make a doctor's appointment for the week of July 12 to find a new psychiatrist (I've moved cities). I've been putting this off for months because of one little tiny winy bad experience that filled me with incredible amounts of anxiety (not getting my dexedrine). Do you still party alot?
>
> Take care
> Cynthia
Posted by anna on July 10, 1999, at 12:51:57
In reply to Re: paxil, ritalin, add, & addiction, posted by SB on July 10, 1999, at 11:59:25
> Hi Anna. I can certainly say that I have been there with pain medication. That is what started it all for me as far as dependency is concerned. Why are you on pain killers? What are you taking? With me, it was Hydrocodone. (Lortab, Vicodin, Lorcet, etc.) Cough syrup too. (Codiclear DH, Protuss, etc.) It became a nasty habit that got so bad that I pretty much hit bottom. I have known for years that I have ADD, and I know that many people with ADD that do not recieve treatment, medicate themselves with substances. The pain killers actually helped me concentrate, like a stimulant. And they kept me awake, not drowsy. Anyway, I feel good about my treatment and my Ritalin medication which I have taken as prescribed. The Ritalin has helped with my cravings and, for the most part, eliminated my impulsiveness. I hope you find what you are looking for in terms of your happiness. You may need to continue to see doctors until you find what works for you. Good luck.
> SB
Hi SB, I.m on doloxene cos I have lyme disease, crohns disease and pancreatitis. Sounds like a lot but basically i just ache all the time and am too tired to do anything.The doloxene acts like a stimulant for me too. I was addicted to pethidine after a three month stay in hospital and when i came out they put me on physeptone(methadone) to help with the pain. Fortunately i got off that a year ago cos i do have a tendency to increase the dose to help with mood and energy.....The doloxene is a much less powerful narcotic.What do you mean the ritalin helps with your cravings?
bye, anna
Posted by SB on July 10, 1999, at 14:02:12
In reply to Re: paxil, ritalin, add, & addiction, posted by anna on July 10, 1999, at 12:51:57
I don't really know how to explain it from a medical standpoint, I just know that it sort of keeps me on an even flow. I guess it gives me a buzz, albeit a mild one, that satisfies me. It has really helped with my mood and productivity also.
SB
> > Hi Anna. I can certainly say that I have been there with pain medication. That is what started it all for me as far as dependency is concerned. Why are you on pain killers? What are you taking? With me, it was Hydrocodone. (Lortab, Vicodin, Lorcet, etc.) Cough syrup too. (Codiclear DH, Protuss, etc.) It became a nasty habit that got so bad that I pretty much hit bottom. I have known for years that I have ADD, and I know that many people with ADD that do not recieve treatment, medicate themselves with substances. The pain killers actually helped me concentrate, like a stimulant. And they kept me awake, not drowsy. Anyway, I feel good about my treatment and my Ritalin medication which I have taken as prescribed. The Ritalin has helped with my cravings and, for the most part, eliminated my impulsiveness. I hope you find what you are looking for in terms of your happiness. You may need to continue to see doctors until you find what works for you. Good luck.
> > SB
> Hi SB, I.m on doloxene cos I have lyme disease, crohns disease and pancreatitis. Sounds like a lot but basically i just ache all the time and am too tired to do anything.The doloxene acts like a stimulant for me too. I was addicted to pethidine after a three month stay in hospital and when i came out they put me on physeptone(methadone) to help with the pain. Fortunately i got off that a year ago cos i do have a tendency to increase the dose to help with mood and energy.....The doloxene is a much less powerful narcotic.What do you mean the ritalin helps with your cravings?
> bye, anna
Posted by MelindaJ on July 12, 1999, at 10:59:48
In reply to Re: paxil, ritalin, add, & addiction, posted by SB on July 10, 1999, at 14:02:12
Dear SB and all,I'm looking for some basic information concerning ADD and addictions to prescription drugs. I'm concerned about my ex; he's an adult with ADHD although he's never been formally diagnosed. As an RN, he was able to get access to a variety of drugs. It appears that he's primarily addicted to a combination of Xanax and Lortab. His dependence on these drugs increased when he was diagnosed with Hepatitis C. He recently was hospitalized following an "accidental" overdose with a myriad of stockpiled drugs. However, the medical community was very careful not to label him as "addicted" in any of his records. I'm interested in discussing what role (for those of you who feel you may be addicted) your doctors/medical community may have played in your addiction. I want to understand what my ex is going thru and how best to help him and improve the quality of his relationship with our daughter. Please e-mail me confidentially if you prefer.
Thanks.
Posted by Cynthia on July 13, 1999, at 22:40:23
In reply to Re: add, & addiction, posted by MelindaJ on July 12, 1999, at 10:59:48
>
> Dear SB and all,
>
> I'm looking for some basic information concerning ADD and addictions to prescription drugs. I'm concerned about my ex; he's an adult with ADHD although he's never been formally diagnosed. As an RN, he was able to get access to a variety of drugs. It appears that he's primarily addicted to a combination of Xanax and Lortab. His dependence on these drugs increased when he was diagnosed with Hepatitis C. He recently was hospitalized following an "accidental" overdose with a myriad of stockpiled drugs. However, the medical community was very careful not to label him as "addicted" in any of his records. I'm interested in discussing what role (for those of you who feel you may be addicted) your doctors/medical community may have played in your addiction. I want to understand what my ex is going thru and how best to help him and improve the quality of his relationship with our daughter. Please e-mail me confidentially if you prefer.
> Thanks.Hi Melinda,
tough question. I really don't know what makes someone so vunerable to addiction. I know people with ADD generally have poor impulse control and people with mental illnesses desperately want to feel good. I imagine for each individual, there are many other less significant factors at work too.
I don't think the medical community are to blame in my case. I'm willing to be addicted to feel good, but I just need some good monitoring checks in place (generally speaking I'm pretty vigilant with myself). If anything I worry about not being able to get my medications (some doctors in the past wouldn't give them to me).
Maybe if your husband was treated for his ADD, he wouldn't accidentally overdose on Xanax and Lortab. He very well could be quite desperate to feel normal or good. No one wants to die, sometimes we just can't bare the pain and don't know how to ask for help. Many people, who are in this much pain, are very willing to talk about it if someone will listen without judging.
I feel for you. Good luck
Cynthia
Posted by anna on July 17, 1999, at 21:58:02
In reply to Re: add, & addiction, posted by Cynthia on July 13, 1999, at 22:40:23
> > Addiction is caused by the basic need to feel normal. but the guilt of addiction is a contributing factor to depression so it becomes a vicious cycle. Doctors are not to blame as they can only work on what they are told and their primary aim is to relieve suffering. Also addiction need not be a bad thing if it helps normalise a persons life and their relationships around them. The problem is often guilt caused by other health professionals who immediately label you as addicted and then dont treat the real cause of the problem (illness, add or depression). It will be very helpful for your husband if you are supportive and non judgemental. My marriage was rocky because my husband hated me for my addictions but now he has come to realise that it cant be helped and is better then a wife who is in constant pain and unable to lead a normal life. He basically leaves my health to me but is willing to talk about it IF i want to. Suicide occurs because we want to run away from our problems and can see no end to them. We may feel that our families will be better off without us, so it is important for you to let your husband know that you are their to help when needed and also step back when he needs to switch off from the problem. By that i mean dont let the problem be the primary focus in your lives. I hope this helps a little bit. It helps me writing and hopefully helping you so please respond with questions etc and i'll try to give my viewpoint on it all.
anna
,
> Hi Melinda,
>
> tough question. I really don't know what makes someone so vunerable to addiction. I know people with ADD generally have poor impulse control and people with mental illnesses desperately want to feel good. I imagine for each individual, there are many other less significant factors at work too.
>
> I don't think the medical community are to blame in my case. I'm willing to be addicted to feel good, but I just need some good monitoring checks in place (generally speaking I'm pretty vigilant with myself). If anything I worry about not being able to get my medications (some doctors in the past wouldn't give them to me).
>
> Maybe if your husband was treated for his ADD, he wouldn't accidentally overdose on Xanax and Lortab. He very well could be quite desperate to feel normal or good. No one wants to die, sometimes we just can't bare the pain and don't know how to ask for help. Many people, who are in this much pain, are very willing to talk about it if someone will listen without judging.
>
> I feel for you. Good luck
>
> Cynthia
Posted by MelindaJ on July 20, 1999, at 14:29:58
In reply to Re: add, & addiction, posted by anna on July 17, 1999, at 21:58:02
Thanks for responding, I really appreciate your input.
What I need to clarify, is that I'm referring to my EX-husband. I was an extremely supportive (to the point of enabling) wife but it seems his addictions have gotten out of control since we separated. I attained access to his medical records because he took me to court to modify our divorce decree. In his petition, he claimed to be medically disabled and asked to have his child support reduced to zero. He also petitioned for additional visitation with our daughter. Now, in his younger years, he used to smoke marijuana as a way to manage his anxiety and impulsive behavior. Since employer random drug testing became prevalent (and especially because he worked as a nurse). He turned to prescription drugs. From reading his records, he was allowed to self-medicate to a large extent. He'd call up a doctor, ask for a script and rotate pharmacies. Because he was being treated by multiple doctors, he played the system quite handily. In his case, the medical community allowed this manipulation and did contribute to the problem. When he overdosed in March it was with a stockpile of drugs which ranged from anti-hypertensives, benzodiazapines, stimulants and narcotics. None of this came out at our modification hearing. I had an incompetent atty. who didn't request the medical records prior to our court date. The records also listed occasions when his former girl friend called asking for advice because he was "stumbling into things and incoherent." There were also notations of large bruising and other evidence of serious falls. Obviously, if his doctors didn't catch on that maybe he had a "problem," they definately contributed to it. My concern now is that he get some kind of help. I understand that he's in pain. But, he also has a duty to treat he health with awareness and act with responsibility. Since the judge graciously granted him the additional visitation, I now have the hell of worrying about my daughter when she's in his care.
Posted by anna on July 22, 1999, at 10:35:38
In reply to Re: add, & addiction, posted by MelindaJ on July 20, 1999, at 14:29:58
> It sounds like you are going through a nightmare. It seems obvious that he needs to get help and quit the meds. if drugs impact badly on the people around you then there is definitely a problem, I guess its complicated by the add too. In my case the drugs just allow me to be normal, but I have to be wary of my tolerance to them increasing so that i need more and more. I am trying to lower my doses now so that its kept under control. Can you inform his doctors that hes getting extra scripts? Would he go to counselling or a rehabilitation hospital so that he can get off them.
I sympathise with your worries about your daughter spending time with him- you wonder if the courts really consider all the problems, dont you. Can you ask for his access to be supervised?
I doubt any of this will really help you but maybe just talking about it will so feel free to write back.
Posted by Melinda on July 22, 1999, at 13:40:43
In reply to Re: add, & addiction, posted by anna on July 22, 1999, at 10:35:38
Thanks, Anna. I didn't know about his drug problem at the time of our hearing because my attorney was too lazy to go through "discovery" and get copies of his medical records (submitted to the court a full month before our hearing) prior to our court date. So, this wasn't brought up at the hearing. He attributed his hospitalization and other physical and mental problems to the drug treatment he's been undergoing for Hepatitis C (HCV). However, according to his records, he had already completed his treatment regimen at the time of his overdose. The subject of supervised visitation was raised by my attorney but was rejected by the judge. I don't know what difference it would make; the only person available to supervise visitation would be his mother and he was in her care at the time of the incident. While the records I have access to are sketchy, it does appear that his current doctors are giving him only 20 pills of each drug at a time. In reviewing some of the medications he's been on, my sister (a pharmacist) noted that some of these should not be prescribed for patients with known liver disfunction. It seems that the medical community is willing to allow a certain level of addiction for those patients with chronic health problems. I just don't trust them to keep him in check. I'm waiting to get the final modification papers and then I'll consult a DIFFERENT attorney. I may not be able to get a better outcome even if information of his drug use comes out. Sigh - I vascilate between wanting to help him and wanting to hurt him. If possible, I'll do my best to help him because helping him = benefiting my daughter (who loves him dearly). Regardless, I'll do what it takes (legally) to protect my child. Thanks so much for listening - I've been very impressed with the caring souls who visit this board.
Posted by anna on July 23, 1999, at 8:30:39
In reply to Re: add, & addiction, posted by Melinda on July 22, 1999, at 13:40:43
> Thanks, Anna. I didn't know about his drug problem at the time of our hearing because my attorney was too lazy to go through "discovery" and get copies of his medical records (submitted to the court a full month before our hearing) prior to our court date. So, this wasn't brought up at the hearing. He attributed his hospitalization and other physical and mental problems to the drug treatment he's been undergoing for Hepatitis C (HCV). However, according to his records, he had already completed his treatment regimen at the time of his overdose. The subject of supervised visitation was raised by my attorney but was rejected by the judge. I don't know what difference it would make; the only person available to supervise visitation would be his mother and he was in her care at the time of the incident. While the records I have access to are sketchy, it does appear that his current doctors are giving him only 20 pills of each drug at a time. In reviewing some of the medications he's been on, my sister (a pharmacist) noted that some of these should not be prescribed for patients with known liver disfunction. It seems that the medical community is willing to allow a certain level of addiction for those patients with chronic health problems. I just don't trust them to keep him in check. I'm waiting to get the final modification papers and then I'll consult a DIFFERENT attorney. I may not be able to get a better outcome even if information of his drug use comes out. Sigh - I vascilate between wanting to help him and wanting to hurt him. If possible, I'll do my best to help him because helping him = benefiting my daughter (who loves him dearly). Regardless, I'll do what it takes (legally) to protect my child. Thanks so much for listening - I've been very impressed with the caring souls who visit this board.
Good Luck and all the best for the future.
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