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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 1 to 6 of 6. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by saintjames on June 28, 1999, at 19:56:45
Someone mentioned me "treating" people and I wanted to correct any misconceptions on my qualifications. I am a lay person who works for New Vistas, a non-profit in Santa Fe. I am a peer counsler, a position were disabled persons who are very functional and able are trained and paired (usually I see clients at their home) with other disabled persons who ask for help. The big thrust is independent living skills but we work on whatever the client wants to work on. I do a whole lot of listening. New Vistas keeps me in touch with area resources so I provide lots of referals and networking. I print out tons of info from the net to share with my consumers.
As I said I am a lay person, not a mental health professional, but I can spot unhealthy behaviors and provide info on how to get better. If a consumer has a disibility like mine I talk about what has worked for me. Since Peer Counslers tend to go to people's homes and are viewed more as a peer it is common that we are the first ones to witness unhealthy behaviors. many times consumers will not tell their doc's what is really going on (as in the case of the person who was self mulilating) After this person showed me what was going on, and I did not freak out, he/she still did not feel there was any way they could every admit this to any doc. I related a story about a friend who did this and got better. This person did not realize others do this too. Together we worked out that I would go along to the doc as moral support and with proper meds and support (This person signed a contract with me so they call me anytime they feel like hurting themselves) the mulitation has stopped.
james
Posted by Cass on June 28, 1999, at 23:10:21
In reply to My work with the disabled, posted by saintjames on June 28, 1999, at 19:56:45
> Someone mentioned me "treating" people and I wanted to correct any misconceptions on my qualifications. I am a lay person who works for New Vistas, a non-profit in Santa Fe. I am a peer counsler, a position were disabled persons who are very functional and able are trained and paired (usually I see clients at their home) with other disabled persons who ask for help. The big thrust is independent living skills but we work on whatever the client wants to work on. I do a whole lot of listening. New Vistas keeps me in touch with area resources so I provide lots of referals and networking. I print out tons of info from the net to share with my consumers.
>
> As I said I am a lay person, not a mental health professional, but I can spot unhealthy behaviors and provide info on how to get better. If a consumer has a disibility like mine I talk about what has worked for me. Since Peer Counslers tend to go to people's homes and are viewed more as a peer it is common that we are the first ones to witness unhealthy behaviors. many times consumers will not tell their doc's what is really going on (as in the case of the person who was self mulilating) After this person showed me what was going on, and I did not freak out, he/she still did not feel there was any way they could every admit this to any doc. I related a story about a friend who did this and got better. This person did not realize others do this too. Together we worked out that I would go along to the doc as moral support and with proper meds and support (This person signed a contract with me so they call me anytime they feel like hurting themselves) the mulitation has stopped.
>
> jamesHi Saint James,
I really admire your work with people who are hurting. But, you mentioned "contracts." Do people, from your experience, follow through on these contracts? I must admit, when I was seeing a psychologist, he used to beg me to have a contract of non-self harm. I used to agree just to make him feel better. I had no intention of complying. I no longer make false promises like that. But, I can't help but wonder how many people comply with "contracts." If it helps, all for the better. It just didn't work with me. Good luck with everything.
Cass
Posted by saintjames on June 29, 1999, at 0:39:31
In reply to Re: My work with the disabled, posted by Cass on June 28, 1999, at 23:10:21
> Hi Saint James,
>
> I really admire your work with people who are hurting. But, you mentioned "contracts." Do people, from your experience, follow through on these contracts? I must admit, when I was seeing a psychologist, he used to beg me to have a contract of non-self harm. I used to agree just to make him feel better. I had no intention of complying. I no longer make false promises like that. But, I can't help but wonder how many people comply with "contracts." If it helps, all for the better. It just didn't work with me. Good luck with everything.
>
> CassJames here....
Mixed results is what I understand, this is the only contract I have done and it was sucessful, but no one thing made it stop. When you are on the other side of this issue you will do anything to get a person not to hurt or kill themselves. In this case the person did not feel comfortable calling me at anytime (I work in a rural area and the person was very isolated) so the contract was proof that
I cared and REALLY could be called at any time. We put things in the contract like " If I tell james I have been hurting myself again he will not get mad at me, hate me ot think less of me." This seemed to be a real fear of this person, despite me assuring this person till I was blue in the face ! It is common for someone to disclose abuse and then the next time you see them, everything is OK...no problems. I used a contract to bridge this period.It all really comes down to the person and if they really mean what they say in a contract, like you say.
This person was first put on AD's, which helped but did not totally stop the self abuse. Naltrexone did the trick plus I was able to find a MSW to see this person weekly (that took medicade and worked with this issue often)
Cass, what worked for you and how are you doing now ?
james
Posted by Cass on June 29, 1999, at 13:58:09
In reply to Re: My work with the disabled, posted by saintjames on June 29, 1999, at 0:39:31
> > Hi Saint James,
> >
> > I really admire your work with people who are hurting. But, you mentioned "contracts." Do people, from your experience, follow through on these contracts? I must admit, when I was seeing a psychologist, he used to beg me to have a contract of non-self harm. I used to agree just to make him feel better. I had no intention of complying. I no longer make false promises like that. But, I can't help but wonder how many people comply with "contracts." If it helps, all for the better. It just didn't work with me. Good luck with everything.
> >
> > Cass
>
> James here....
>
> Mixed results is what I understand, this is the only contract I have done and it was sucessful, but no one thing made it stop. When you are on the other side of this issue you will do anything to get a person not to hurt or kill themselves. In this case the person did not feel comfortable calling me at anytime (I work in a rural area and the person was very isolated) so the contract was proof that
> I cared and REALLY could be called at any time. We put things in the contract like " If I tell james I have been hurting myself again he will not get mad at me, hate me ot think less of me." This seemed to be a real fear of this person, despite me assuring this person till I was blue in the face ! It is common for someone to disclose abuse and then the next time you see them, everything is OK...no problems. I used a contract to bridge this period.
>
> It all really comes down to the person and if they really mean what they say in a contract, like you say.
>
> This person was first put on AD's, which helped but did not totally stop the self abuse. Naltrexone did the trick plus I was able to find a MSW to see this person weekly (that took medicade and worked with this issue often)
>
> Cass, what worked for you and how are you doing now ?
>
> jamesJames,
Lack of stress is the only thing that helps. Consequently, I feel I have little control over self-destructive urges. Who can totally avoid stress? Of all things, I just got word from a family member that we may have trouble with the i.r.s. That's enough to set anyone back.
Cass
Posted by saintjames on July 1, 1999, at 8:33:23
In reply to Re: My work with the disabled, posted by Cass on June 29, 1999, at 13:58:09
Stress...here is what works for me...learned in thearpy
I used to spend a lot of time worring so my shrink asked me what was worth worring about...to me it was everything. He introduced a totally new idea to me.....only worry about thoses things that will kill you or stop basic needs being met (housing, food, water, heat) the rest can be delt with. I test reality every time to worries start to see if ZI am going to die, and if not I take a load off my mind. I'm no saying that "poof" the worry goes away, but now I can put it into perspective.I also have "worry behaviors" I do...like cleaching my jaw or tenseing my left sholder that i I have learned to check from time to time and if I find myself doing them I stop and massage the tention out, work the mantra and visulize my "happy, peaceful place".
This is what works for me re: stress. It got me thru 7 yrs of retail management, plus some Atavin as needed.
The IRS got knocked down several pegs as of late and are it the most helpful mood they have ever been. They let me pay off a big debt from several years back in $25 installments. I would guess that if you were not doing some funny bookkeeping and just made honest mistakes you will come out OK
james
Posted by Cass on July 1, 1999, at 15:02:34
In reply to Re: My work with the disabled, posted by saintjames on July 1, 1999, at 8:33:23
>
> Stress...here is what works for me...learned in thearpy
>
>
> I used to spend a lot of time worring so my shrink asked me what was worth worring about...to me it was everything. He introduced a totally new idea to me.....only worry about thoses things that will kill you or stop basic needs being met (housing, food, water, heat) the rest can be delt with. I test reality every time to worries start to see if ZI am going to die, and if not I take a load off my mind. I'm no saying that "poof" the worry goes away, but now I can put it into perspective.
>
> I also have "worry behaviors" I do...like cleaching my jaw or tenseing my left sholder that i I have learned to check from time to time and if I find myself doing them I stop and massage the tention out, work the mantra and visulize my "happy, peaceful place".
>
> This is what works for me re: stress. It got me thru 7 yrs of retail management, plus some Atavin as needed.
>
> The IRS got knocked down several pegs as of late and are it the most helpful mood they have ever been. They let me pay off a big debt from several years back in $25 installments. I would guess that if you were not doing some funny bookkeeping and just made honest mistakes you will come out OK
>
> james
James,Although I have an active and vivid imagination, I tend to have a hard time with visualization. Forcing myself to visualize tends to create unpleasant images. Force is the issue, I think. I try too hard and that creates stress. I'm not sure. Visualization just never seems to bring about harmonious results for me. Affirmations or mantras are a little more effective, and I think that putting things into a life/death and/or basic needs perspective is a good way of judging what is or isn't important to worry about. Thank-you so much for all your reassurance and advice. In the meantime, I've discovered that the irs issue is apparently nothing serious. Best wishes.
Cass
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