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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by JenStar on August 31, 2005, at 9:28:01
In reply to I wish I were dead, posted by Dinah on August 31, 2005, at 2:36:16
oh Dinah,
I'm so sorry. That's horrible, awful! I had no idea that you were in the flooded areas. I am dumbfounded and want to cry when I see it on TV. I am so sorry for you and your family. And I'm extremely sorry about your T. I know you were all set for therapy for life, and now this.My gosh, I'm sorry. I wish I could help. But please, please don't wish you were dead. Please don't. Nobody here wishes that. I know I don't know you in real life, but still I like you and consider you a friend. I worry about you and wish I could help in some way.
Are you all in a safe place?
Maybe you'll all be allowed in sooner and your T/family will decide to stay. I hope that will be the case. Is he out of state right now?
Dinah, again I'm so very sorry.
JenStar
Posted by LauraBeane on August 31, 2005, at 9:57:11
In reply to I wish I were dead, posted by Dinah on August 31, 2005, at 2:36:16
Hi Dinah,
I'm still new here so I don't know what's what. Are you in the New Orleans area? I am going to assume that you're talking about Katrina. The devastation I am seeing on TV is so overwhelming. So my first reaction is, thank goodness you and your family are safe.
Please do NOT make any decisions based on the distorted now. Steel yourself against despair. Things are not as they were, but neither are they as they will be. Things are going to get much, much better than they are at this moment.
Your therapist like everyone there is stunned. Give him a chance to work things out. I know you are important to him and he would never just abandon you. There has GOT to be a way.
What can we do? Is there anything you need in terms of supplies, etc?
Do you remember a wall poster from a long time ago that showed a kitten hanging on to the edge of a counter or a door or something and it said, Hang on baby, Friday's coming. I wish I could send you that poster.
Hang tight, Dinah.
LauraB
Posted by Dinah on August 31, 2005, at 10:20:49
In reply to I wish I were dead, posted by Dinah on August 31, 2005, at 2:36:16
I'm in email contact with him, limited of course. But I've offered to commute the four hours to where he is, if he can find a way to see clients. And I've also told him that if he relocates within six or so hours, I'd like to continue commuting as well. I haven't heard back.
It's more than possible that we've lost most of our personal property. Even a low level of water left for the month or two until we can come home will pretty much wipe out our belongings. I had converted some of my photos to disc, forgot my home videos, and hauled as many of my son's photos as I can. I'm sick about my home videos. From what I can discover, our area is most likely to have received between inches and feet inside, but not up to the roof or anything. There is a very small possibility that we got no water in the house. That would be best case.
I'm worried about money, of course. And if I don't get a certain number of hours in by hte end of the year, I'll lose my medical coverage.
I can't reach my employers. Not yet anyway.
I have no source of income for at least a month. Maybe longer.
But all of that I can handle. I can't handle losing my therapist. Not now, and not ever. He didn't say he wasn't planning to move back to the area devastated by the storm, he said he didn't know. I guess I appreciate that he didn't lie.
No, I don't.
It's hard not to hurt myself, although in these closed quarters it won't be easy.
Don't worry if I don't post much, especially on this thread. My husband is six inches from me nearly always, and I can't let him know how I feel. Or that I gave away my location.
Posted by daisym on August 31, 2005, at 10:55:03
In reply to Re: I wish I were dead, posted by Dinah on August 31, 2005, at 10:20:49
(((Dinah)))
My therapist said to me very recently, "you must hold on because you don't know how you will feel in a year, or two years, or 4 years. Your son needs you."
I'm passing this on to you. Now, in this crisis, your son really needs you. Don't forget you have us, and I know you have a faith in God. Who knows why these things happen? This is the time where you do what you can and simply trust that the rest will be worked out later. Take each day as it comes.
You've been through a lot with your therapist. I have to believe that the two of you will find a way to work together again. Don't grieve a loss that hasn't happened yet.
I hope you find a way to get back to work soon and I pray that your belongings are spared. I'm so, so sorry for what you are going through. It's so unfair.
(((Dinah)))
Posted by Sonya on August 31, 2005, at 10:59:25
In reply to Re: I wish I were dead, posted by Dinah on August 31, 2005, at 10:20:49
Oh, dear Dinah. I feel so bad for you. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE do not harm yourself. You must tell yourself things will improve. If you really feel you might self-harm, you SHOULD tell your husband or someone so they can help you. Do you have any meds you can take to get you through this crisis?
Please try to post so we all know you're okay. I'm so worried about you.
Love,
Sonya
Posted by All Done on August 31, 2005, at 11:07:45
In reply to Re: I wish I were dead, posted by Dinah on August 31, 2005, at 10:20:49
Oh, (((Dinah))). This isn't what I hoped for. I don't even know what to say other than my heart is aching for you. I know you must be terrified, but Daisy's right when she says try not to mourn a loss that hasn't happened.
Not that long ago, I had a lot of Babblers praying and sending good thoughts to me and I really believe they helped. I know you're in the minds, heart, and prayers of many here. And lots of us are holding out hope that you can work something out with your T and that the damage to your home is a little as possible. If you can even find a tiny bit of comfort in that, please do.
I'm so very sorry you're going through all of this.
I understand if you won't be posting much, but please don't stop at the expense of your well-being. We are here to support you.
And please stay safe.
Laurie
Posted by Shortelise on August 31, 2005, at 11:25:15
In reply to I wish I were dead, posted by Dinah on August 31, 2005, at 2:36:16
Dinah, I am so sorry.
I wish I could help.
You aren't dead and hope doesn't have to be dead either.
I am with you in spirit, I expect that many of us here are. Think of us holding your hands, and our arms around your shoulders, supporting you through every moment of every day.
Much love,
ShortE
Posted by LittleGirlLost on August 31, 2005, at 11:47:14
In reply to I wish I were dead, posted by Dinah on August 31, 2005, at 2:36:16
(((Dinah))) I can only imagine what you are going through. Pictures I've seen are absolutely devastating. You need to take things one day at a time though and hopefully things have a way of working themselves out. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
LGL
Posted by Sonya on August 31, 2005, at 11:48:06
In reply to You're not dead » Dinah, posted by Shortelise on August 31, 2005, at 11:25:15
"Think of us holding your hands, and our arms around your shoulders, supporting you through every moment of every day."
Posted by Angela2 on August 31, 2005, at 12:27:49
In reply to I wish I were dead, posted by Dinah on August 31, 2005, at 2:36:16
Dinah, I am so sorry you may be losing your therapist. It is hard not knowing what is going to happen. We care about you here at babble, post if it makes you feel better. Thinking of you.
-Ang
Posted by JenStar on August 31, 2005, at 12:27:54
In reply to Re: I wish I were dead, posted by Dinah on August 31, 2005, at 10:20:49
hi Dinah,
I'm so sorry you're hurting. Don't worry about telling us your location. I don't think it reveals who you are...and even if it did, I'm sure anyone would be proud to know you! :)I'm soooo sorry you and your family are struggling. I truly hope your home is OK, but more importantly, that YOU will be OK in the coming days and weeks.
DO you need anything? Can we help in any way? I'm glad you can post here at least a little bit. Someone else asked if you need supplies - is there anything at all you need? Are you staying in a safe place? I'm guessing from the fact that you used a computer that you must be somewhere SORT of comfortable...at least I hope so!
Take care. We're thinking of you and wishing you the best. I'm not much of a prayer-ful person, but I will say a prayer anyway in the hopes it will help.
take care!
JenStar
Posted by gardenergirl on August 31, 2005, at 12:44:21
In reply to Dinah, hang in there!!! You wonderful person, you! » Dinah, posted by JenStar on August 31, 2005, at 12:27:54
Dinah,
I don't know what else to say beyond what I said in my email reply.
I hope you can feel the love and support we all have for you. You deserve all of that and more. Please allow us to hold you.
And all the what-if's and potential changes....all you can do is tackle them one at a time. I'm sure it's all very overwhelming. Just one moment at a time is all you are required to do.
((((dinah))))
Please let us know how we can help. And I believe your privacy is still very safe. It's a big area out there.
gg
Posted by fairywings on August 31, 2005, at 12:46:51
In reply to I wish I were dead, posted by Dinah on August 31, 2005, at 2:36:16
I'm so so sorry Dinah. I will be thinking of you and you will be on my heart. If there's anything that I can do, please let me know. I'd do anything if I could. I will keep a good thought that you won't lose your T.
((((((((((hugs))))))))))
fw
Posted by rainbowbrite on August 31, 2005, at 12:58:08
In reply to I wish I were dead, posted by Dinah on August 31, 2005, at 2:36:16
awww Dinah,
Im so sorry. Hang in there, the phone option sounds good if he will do it.
Im thinking of yourain
Posted by javableue on August 31, 2005, at 15:51:03
In reply to I wish I were dead, posted by Dinah on August 31, 2005, at 2:36:16
Dinah, I'm so sorry this has happened. I hope things get worked out soon enough. You're in my thoughts. Please stay safe.
Posted by happyflower on August 31, 2005, at 15:54:10
In reply to Re: I wish I were dead » Dinah, posted by javableue on August 31, 2005, at 15:51:03
Please be careful, keep safe, and don't give up hope. You will be okay. I am sure your T is just freaked out about everything. (((((Dinah))))
Posted by Emily Elizabeth on August 31, 2005, at 16:03:36
In reply to Re: I wish I were dead » Dinah, posted by rainbowbrite on August 31, 2005, at 12:58:08
Posted by Damos on August 31, 2005, at 16:59:39
In reply to I wish I were dead, posted by Dinah on August 31, 2005, at 2:36:16
(((((Dinah & Family)))))
I can only echo the thoughts of everyone else Dinah. I'm so glad you and your family are okay. Just know you're in my thoughts and if there is anything, anything at all I can do just let me know.
Posted by 10derHeart on August 31, 2005, at 17:43:05
In reply to I wish I were dead, posted by Dinah on August 31, 2005, at 2:36:16
Okay, these people in this dumb coffee shop (free wireless I-net) are seeing me cry, but, f___ them, they are safe and warm and dry up here in the heartland.
You're worth buckets of tears to your precious son and husband and your T. and all of US!!!!!
Dinah, like I think happyflower said, don't forget your T. is probably as freaked out or more than you are....doesn't his wife have some medical issues? That may be also making him nuts....
You've NOT lost him. He's alive and he cares about you. Try to slow down the panic just a tiny, tiny bit if you can. (I know, I know what the h*ll do I know...I'm not there..)
What can we do? Is there anythng? You are so strong....you've been through so much already in the past year, it must seem unbearable, but I believe in you. I really do.
You telling us it's hard not to hurt yourself is already better than just doing it. I hope somehow you can gain strength from us all.
I wish I could think of something else even a little brilliant to say, but that won't happen. Besides, it's time to give some more dirty looks to these folks who think I can't sniffle and tear up repeatedly in public!!
I'm praying. I have friends in Biloxi, and I can't find out a freakin' thing for sure yet. But it'll be better, it WILL be better.
Hug that boy, hard and often! (((Dinah)))
Posted by Tamar on August 31, 2005, at 18:50:15
In reply to I wish I were dead, posted by Dinah on August 31, 2005, at 2:36:16
(((((Dinah)))))
I’m so, so sorry.
This is awful: for you; for everyone.
I think I understand your fears. I haven’t walked in your shoes, but if your therapist isn’t sure he’s returning, I can imagine you’re feeling devastated.
You haven’t lost him yet. Hang in there.
If there’s anything at all I can do, just say the word.
Big hugs,
Tamar
Posted by littleone on August 31, 2005, at 21:29:37
In reply to I wish I were dead, posted by Dinah on August 31, 2005, at 2:36:16
It sounds like your T has been very shaken up by what you've all been through. Which is totally okay. He's human too.
But he *will* find his feet again soon.
And he *won't* leave you.
He knows how important he is to you. He knows how devastating it would be for you to lose him.
He *won't* let that happen.
Remember when he was looking at that other job - he wasn't going to leave you then. He was going to *make* time for you.
He'll *make* time for you now too.
You're not going to lose your most valuable stool leg.
Posted by sleepygirl on August 31, 2005, at 22:17:08
In reply to I wish I were dead, posted by Dinah on August 31, 2005, at 2:36:16
Oh sweetheart, I am so sorry, and I wish you great comfort right now. I am so glad you're alive. Please hang in there, you are so loved here. I am so sorry. Please keep talking to us!
Posted by Dinah on August 31, 2005, at 22:41:10
In reply to Re: I wish I were dead, posted by sunny10 on August 31, 2005, at 9:25:11
But today has been horrible and continues to grow worse.
My therapist sent me a relatively upbeat email four hours ago that had me a bit unsure of some of the terminology he used, but relatively sure he wanted to see me. He asked how I wanted to go about it. But he just now sent me a much less optimistic email that had me replying to him that I cared about him, and that if he didn't need the extra stress right now, I didn't in any way want to add to that. And that I didn't mind not seeing him short term.
I want to die.
Posted by zenhussy on August 31, 2005, at 23:01:27
In reply to I wish i could reply to each of you, posted by Dinah on August 31, 2005, at 22:41:10
completely lacking words. stunned.
((Dinah))
believing in you.
__zh
Posted by JenStar on August 31, 2005, at 23:03:31
In reply to I wish i could reply to each of you, posted by Dinah on August 31, 2005, at 22:41:10
hi Dinah,
It will get better. This shall pass. It WILL get better.Your husband, your son need you whole and in one piece! And we all here at Babble care about you very much and want you to be OK.
Please, please stay strong in yourself and fight any urges you have to hurt yourself. You're a strong wonderful person and you WILL survive this.
How are the animals? Were you able to take you dogs with you to safety? Can you see a doctor in an emergency basis and get some stronger meds to help you through this panic and depression?
Take care.
JenStar
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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