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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 210 to 234 of 241. Go back in thread:
Posted by pinkeye on April 6, 2005, at 13:07:45
In reply to Re: so confused, posted by Jadah on April 5, 2005, at 19:54:31
Well Jadah, I have always been one to support your relationship with your T. I have always said do what you have to do - even if it means continuing the relationship with your T.
But now I am thinking it is not good for you anymore to continue this. It is time to let go and move on. I think you have gone through a full cycle - attracted, and got involved, and healed, and stopped the sexual relationship and started dating other people. Maybe it is just time to let go of this T and fully move on.
Posted by bird in the sky on August 15, 2005, at 20:51:30
In reply to Re: so confused, posted by Jadah on April 5, 2005, at 19:54:31
I am a very late comer, as i just put "in love with my therapist" in a search engine and found this place recently. It has been helpful to me to read some of you guys' experiences on being in love with your therapist. I am at this point in love with mine for about 14 months and wishing i could have an affair. What is this thing love? isnt there another word for it? I dont want to have him instead of my husband but yet i think about him all the time or feel he is with me somehow, in my breath. I have a lot of good things in my life but i look forward to my sessions more than anything. i know you guys will probably think, oh no not again. Didn't she learn from reading Jadah's heartaches? i guess not... sorry
Posted by jadah on August 16, 2005, at 17:46:35
In reply to Re: so confused » Jadah, posted by bird in the sky on August 15, 2005, at 20:51:30
boy, does your post bring back memories. your infatuation is normal and it is possible to love or "be in love" with more than one person at a time. I know the heartache of always wondering and wanting more from your T. My case is unusual. My affair did relieve much of my yearning and wondering but it also left me unsatisfied. The more he gave the more I wanted. I still hurt. He still takes up most of my thoughts and most of my heart. I hate thinking of him with his wife and kids, b/c i wish it was me. It kills me. It is interfering with my life and my relationship with my boyfriend. I often wonder if I will ever be able to give myself fully to another man in the same way that I have with my T. There are many times when I wish I could go back and still idolize him, still fantasize, still wonder.... Now its just like a game, only I know that in the end I will be the one to lose. I hate him sometimes for crossing the line, for giving me more only to take it away in the end. When it all comes down to it, he is just another man who will hurt and abandon me. This cant go on forever, he will never leave his wife for me. It sucks feeling second best. Get what needs you can get met from your T. Take it, learn from it then apply it (to your well being and your relationship with your husband). My goal is to be able to walk away from this relationship knowing that Im worthy of being loved, that loving someone else is worthwhile and rewarding, that I can overcome my past abuse issues- not all men will hurt me nor do I have to crawl out of my skin every time i am touched, intimacy if fabulous and meant to be shared, that i could stay present and enjoy the moment.... and so on. I say these things b/c everything that I once thought bad or unclean has been purified by my experience with my T. Not saying you should seek this out, but that whatever you are given by this mesmerizing T, run with it, tuck it away, and when youre able, use it all to tear down your walls and add to your fire. Although you want to merge with this T, you are your own person, just as you were before you met him. You can stand on your own aside from this person. Obsessing about your T will only make you feel worse. Instead of focusing on what you want from this person, focus on what can realistically be given to you. Some things are meant to remain unkown. Think about why he makes you feel so special and seek that out in your relationships. Hes just a person like you and I, you must try to see him in this way and take him off the pedestal. Dont know if I am making any sense. Here is something I wrote to anyone who feels the way you do. I understand your wanting MORE from your T but trust me, along with the good comes the bad. You really see the humanness in them. Taking them off of the pedistal that you have thim on.... it can be disappointing to see their flaws, bad habits, their mood swings, their anger.... it really changes your view of them to realize that they are not perfect like you imagined. The more I learn about his personal life, the more I wish I wouldnt have asked. I kinda miss that "perfect" person, the one who could do no wrong. Sexually, he is everything I thought he would be. Personally.... what can I say... hes no different than anyone else I know thats human :0 I am facing much hurt. I dont regret anything but the pain, I think will be alot worse than if I had just stuck to my fantasies and always wondered and only ached to find out. Their are alot of negatives attached to this. One day, friends or not, I will lose him. I hope I dont lose myself in the process.
Posted by bird in the sky on August 18, 2005, at 10:43:28
In reply to Re: bird in the sky, posted by jadah on August 16, 2005, at 17:46:35
I sure do appreciate you sharing with me all you have learned, jadah. i have read over what you have said many times and will continue to. Each sentence has something to consider, esp coming from 1 who has been there and with so much feeling. A few times i have been overcome with emotion and love i have tried to hug him, but his expression changes from happy and sweet to kinda mad. I know he really likes me too but i guess he is real serious when it comes to the rules. He is much older than i and i am not unattractive so it seems like he at least would like a hug. i would give anything to be able to feel his body against mine, even thru clothes. Now since i did this, it seems like he is punishing me. closing off hismself a bit and saying 2 weeks is soon enough to see him. I want to see him a lot more, but when i do i get too worked up for about a week, then it tapers off a bit. It's not just a sexual horniness, i come often enough to satisfy that. It's a lot more. and it hurts but feels so good. thanks for your support.
Posted by Susan47 on August 20, 2005, at 11:10:00
In reply to Re: bird in the sky, posted by jadah on August 16, 2005, at 17:46:35
I hope you don't lose yourself in the process either, Jadah. It's harder than anything I can imagine to fall in love with someone you can't have.. then to be intimate and still not have him ... but you could if he really wanted to.. you know you don't really want to, I think, maybe because his wife and children will never really go away, they'll always be there even if he were with you. I think maybe there's a lot to be said for faithful marriage partnerships that last for decades. It avoids an incredible amount of pain and suffering.. for the person who's outside that relationship.. it isn't fair for him to have had an affair with you .. I hurt for you so much, the same as I hurt for any person going through this ... at least you see his flaws, his tempers, and you have an opportunity to dislike those things, that is a good thing. You need to see yourself as whole, apart from him, a whole woman with everything to offer to herself, to life, to a deserving other.
I hope your health will improve. Try to think good, positive thoughts. We're here for you albeit far away in distance, not in heart.
Posted by bird in the sky on August 23, 2005, at 18:42:42
In reply to Re: bird in the sky, posted by jadah on August 16, 2005, at 17:46:35
It's so hard to leave. It's so hard to know it will be a week or 2 or 3 before seeing him again. It's so hard to think that my loved ones think i should be "wrapping this up" and ending my therapy. It's so hard to face the fact how dependant i have become. I feel like my thrapist and i are hardly seperate, yet have to be, except for that one hour. i feel when we are apart he is here with me in my breath, coming inside me like the lover i know he will never be. it seems as if i could put my chest against his he would understand. Our breath and hearts could be closer in reality like i actually feel them to be. When i leave and he shuts the door it feels as if i am disolving, and well i should. So that i could become the air that he breathes, going into every cell of his body as he has in mine. It takes days to bring myself back together more into reality, more able to spend more of each waking hour not fantasizing or just feeling these strong feelings. Feelings i call Love. I wish there was another word. I do realize our hearts are seperate and our breath is not the same, i'm not crazy! But that's not how it feels...
Posted by Susan47 on August 24, 2005, at 0:49:46
In reply to Re:my love for T. » jadah, posted by bird in the sky on August 23, 2005, at 18:42:42
I know and yet I don't know. Because I've felt the same way about this ex-T, I do feel that way still, at times ... but I don't see the difference between what you're feeling and what I'm feeling.. yet you've been physical with yours .. and I'm wondering whether you really did get emotionally close, or whether this is all part of a fantasy, a fantasy of loving your own self and seeing it projected in him .. the loved one. The Love Object .. that's what my therapist has been .. and a subject, also, of my worst fears and feelings about the male gender .. but incredibly, too, I held out hope. That was lovely.
I don't know if I'll ever feel that way again.
I hope, if it ever happens, it's reciprocated.
Because having been here, I never want to do this again.
And I never, ever will.
No matter what.
Posted by Susan47 on August 24, 2005, at 1:57:03
In reply to Re:my love for T. » jadah, posted by bird in the sky on August 23, 2005, at 18:42:42
I was wrong you weren't physical.. but I'm thinking the feeling you have, and I had, at one time too, is about transference but I'm not sure if that's right.. because it seems to be more about attaching ourselves to someone we've made a love object out of. It's more about our own insecure boundaries, about wanting this person so much because maybe what we're actually wanting is someone to help us be complete.
It's as if, for me, something is missing of myself, some part of me always feels vulnerable and alone, and very tortured too.. and this man felt so safe and warm and wonderful, and I was so attracted to him on so many levels, that I just didn't even have to try to love him, it just naturally occurred .. and my boundaries are so open that I psychotically attached somehow. I don't know, that kind of feels like how it was. Strangely enough, though, I have to say that I LOVED the feeling of loving attachment, yet it caused me a great deal of pain as well, as I knew it was only I who felt that way, it was a symptom of my poor emotional condition and nothing more, really it was all in my head, the reality was mine but it could be shattered at any time.. and it often was, but I made it happen for myself again and again and again, because I absolutely felt so unbelievably low, so sick inside, if I didn't have the feeling that he was in my life and he would stay in it because.. I wanted him to love me, which I knew was stupid and I wasn't up to snuff in any case.. I just wasn't developed properly in too many ways.
That was a bad, bad feeling.
And I still get it sometimes, and I know I'm not loved back, because it wouldn't be healthy to feel that way about someone like me ... and that's okay, I just can't make it so that I feel any less of a person.
I loved loving him. I still do. And I love to look at him, and part of me is missing on the days I don't see him... which are all of them. One day, I hope this feeling of loss is no longer with me. The worst times are the hours near dusk; maybe I'm realizing that another day has been lived without him, I don't know what it is but I miss him so much at that time of day I could just die from the feeling. I want him near me, I want him touching me, I want him looking into my eyes and smiling, and wanting more of me as I want more of him.. I want not to be afraid of him. I want to be me, the real me, the me he'll never see. God, it hurts.
Posted by bird in the sky on September 17, 2005, at 23:14:16
In reply to Re:my love for T. » bird in the sky, posted by Susan47 on August 24, 2005, at 1:57:03
i love him too much... If there was something else to call this intense feeling, believe me, i would! I have never been one to be hot for somebody, except my husband. I don't mean to sound like a goody goody, but that's the way i see it. I used to get physically ill from sex or touching and then seemed to get over that pretty much when i was turned on to sex with a young woman around my age at the time. I had some physical sensations when noticing other people, which may have been sexual, but i didn't realize it at the time. Now, since i am finally realizing and understanding my sexuality (with the help of my therapist in talk sessions) i have become oversexed towards my therapist. It happened before i started understanding my sexuality and i called it love. I still do, but i am also so horny for him i can't get over it. Nothing seems to satisfy me. I usually always masturbate before i go to see him, or else i would be a nervous fool. Even so, i get real excited and i hardly get over it. Even right after great sex or coming on my own, if i think of him my heart speeds up and, well, you know the rest. Now i know what Mick Jagger was talkin' abuot. (no satisfaction!) whattammi gonnadooooo?
Posted by Susan47 on September 18, 2005, at 13:07:12
In reply to Re:my love for T., posted by bird in the sky on September 17, 2005, at 23:14:16
Good question. Ride it out (sorry for the pun, it wasn't orginally intended but it's funny how the brain works faster than the consciousness grasps, a lot of the time.. what we think is coincidental, probably isn't.. our brains get used the right way but we have to learn the art and science of retrieval.. o man, Susan, you'll do anything to forget this guy, won't you... including being stoned every waking minute that you're not asleep or at work ... because you just can't live without him there, the ability to conjure this beautiful man C up in your mind is so much greater when stoned ... this has completely brought out your addiction to feeling good, feeling fabulous, feeling Loved.. and if his cold-seeming little wife isn't taking advantage of what this man is capable of, it's a Sin, like living in the garden of eden and sitting on a rock (did it have rocks??) in the dark corner the whole time ...)
Yes, Ride It Out, Lovey, it's the only thing to do. Rent porn, even, get yourself to a point where you can come in five minutes just by watching or thinking about sex, but OH I don't envy you hon', because the fact is if you're anything like me just even seeing him at a distance, even just that will be intensely exciting and lovely and addictive and no way, I have no WAY to satisfy that addiction, none at all, he's completely out, OUT and it is really a bit depressing, that ... but you, oh you lucky, LUCKY girl, you get to see this man for therapy, he's still sitting there looking at you and listening and talking to you and laughing, maybe, and shaking your hand even, at the end.. real, warm skin to remember, you have that ...
I have no good advice for your condition.
Posted by Tamar on September 19, 2005, at 10:49:37
In reply to Re:my love for T., posted by bird in the sky on September 17, 2005, at 23:14:16
Ahhh, it’s hard, isn’t it? I remember the feeling very well. In fact, I still feel it sometimes, and I haven’t seen my therapist in six months. I suppose one thing you can do is enjoy the horniness! But it can be so frustrating as well…
Have you talked to him about it? I discovered that some of the fantasies I had about my therapist were closely connected to the problems we were working on. When I realised the connections it made the fantasies more bearable.
From what I’ve heard, talking about it therapy does help to get it in perspective (though I have to admit I never talked about it directly; I just dropped enormous hints and hoped he would pick up on it).
If you’ve told him, I think the best thing is to keep talking about it.
If you haven’t told him… do you think you can?
One other thing… I was wondering whether your masturbating before a session might actually increase your desire for him rather than taking the edge off it. If it were me, I think I would be in a worse state if I went in there all post-orgasmic. But that’s just my perspective; you know yourself best!
Tamar
Posted by bird in the sky on September 19, 2005, at 13:20:36
In reply to Re:my love for T. » bird in the sky, posted by Tamar on September 19, 2005, at 10:49:37
I have this bad habit. I wonder if anyone else does. Probably not. I sometimes feel real horny and desirous of some connection. That's the best way i can explain it now. I masturbate and then when almost to come i call someone up (hopefully a recording) and let them hear me come. Sometimes i do it crying instead of coming. It's a bad habit i know, and i'm trying to break it. I have already told 2 people that i am the one that had been calling because it really seemed to bother them that they didn't know who i was. Luckily they didn't have me arrested or tell my husband. Now that i am seemingly oversexed i have this desire all the time and am hardly able to control it. I know i am going to get responses from you guys like "you had better control it! " or something along those lines, but what i really want to know, is whether anyone else has ever done this? bird
Posted by Tamar on September 19, 2005, at 17:23:50
In reply to Re:my love for T., posted by bird in the sky on September 19, 2005, at 13:20:36
> I have this bad habit. I wonder if anyone else does. Probably not. I sometimes feel real horny and desirous of some connection. That's the best way i can explain it now. I masturbate and then when almost to come i call someone up (hopefully a recording) and let them hear me come. Sometimes i do it crying instead of coming. It's a bad habit i know, and i'm trying to break it. I have already told 2 people that i am the one that had been calling because it really seemed to bother them that they didn't know who i was. Luckily they didn't have me arrested or tell my husband. Now that i am seemingly oversexed i have this desire all the time and am hardly able to control it. I know i am going to get responses from you guys like "you had better control it! " or something along those lines, but what i really want to know, is whether anyone else has ever done this? bird
I haven’t done the thing you describe, though I have done plenty of sexual things I’m not very proud of!
It does sound like it’s become a habit, and maybe one you might think about dealing with, because one day someone might tell your husband… I can imagine that people would be a bit freaked out by it. It wouldn’t bother me if one of my friends did it to me, but if I didn’t know who was calling that would freak me out. I guess I would assume someone was stalking me or something.
I don’t know a lot about breaking sexual habits, but a technique that might work is to focus on a new and different fantasy that doesn’t involve phoning someone just before you come. It could be anything you like (possibly involving a picture of your therapist, if you have a picture), but ideally do it in a room without a phone and leave your cell phone in another room. You might need to plan it because otherwise you might be tempted to revert to your bad habit. And I would suggest you do it fairly regularly until the new fantasy replaces the old one.
I know the feeling of being overcome with desire; I went through that about a year ago. It’s a bit frightening sometimes; you don’t always feel in control. I talked a bit about it to my therapist in fairly general terms and he was very helpful. It was quite a relief to talk about it; he didn’t run screaming from the room and he didn’t act as if I was a pervert. After a while it settled down: I don’t feel constantly horny any more, and when I do feel horny I feel much more comfortable about it.
Good luck.
Tamar
Posted by Susan47 on September 20, 2005, at 19:20:46
In reply to Re:my love for T. » bird in the sky, posted by Tamar on September 19, 2005, at 10:49:37
Going in there with a glow on in addition to my usual feelings about my therapist, would've made for some very interesting sessions indeed :-))
Posted by Susan47 on September 20, 2005, at 19:34:29
In reply to Re:my love for T., posted by bird in the sky on September 19, 2005, at 13:20:36
Wow. I've called my T's machine crying, but never in that state, that seems really asking for emotional trouble, I mean, not that feeling this way about a therapist isn't emotional trouble all on its own, it's just that it seems like right off the bat that would be addictive, sex is one of those things I think we have to be so careful about, because it feels so good and learning to relate it to doing something like that, might carry a strong possibility of creating an embarrassing and unfulfillable addiction ... ouch
And it's so personal, the sounds you make when you're having an orgasm it just feels like they shouldn't be shared over the phone, or with someone without their consent and knowledge, but then I guess one might say the same thing about crying, about sobbing, or leaving your deepest, most personal thoughts in that position ... alone, to be heard by whoever, at the mercy of their ears at whatever time they want to conjure that, to be at the mercy of someone who isn't in the moment.
Kind of like being drunk when everybody else is sober.
It's embarrassing.
Only, you're not drunk. You're in your "normal" state.
I mean, at this time in your life, what you're doing is You, right?I hope you find someone real to replace the machine.. and me, too :)
Posted by bird in the sky on September 20, 2005, at 21:21:44
In reply to Re:my love for T. » bird in the sky, posted by Susan47 on September 20, 2005, at 19:34:29
I don't call my therapist in this state. It has been a couple professional people that hardly know me. One i had been thinking about for years, but our relationship was 99% fantasy on my part. The feeling o had of why i was doing it was kinda like when your lover goes out on you, you go do it with someone else, just to get it out of your system. My lover, i guess was my therapist, in my mind only... bird
Posted by lostinfeelings on October 17, 2005, at 18:42:09
In reply to Re: I'm in love with my therapist, posted by karen_kay on October 27, 2003, at 14:39:12
hello,
I anm writing in regards to this post. I have something to say here I have been in therapy for over a year now and i fell ofr my therapist. I just came out not long ago and told her that I am having feelings for her and she is ok with it, Nothing has ever beomce of it nor will it ever. I like it this way. Because of my feelings for her i am beging to see my life different as i have been dealing with my past. I do love her very much and yes I do think asbout her all the time but it keeps me going in my healing process from my childhood. right now she is in another state but will be back on the 7th, I am also in the process of telling my other half that it is over with because I know that it is better for me this way. my therapist has made me feel so much better about my life today. It is mainly because of her that I have come as far as I have. I just want her to hold me and never let go when we hug after therapy sessions but it is not anything sexually,... I do not know what to do anymore this is tearing me apart because my love for her is so strong. I know that it is transference but hey its ok as she said. please help me i want her close beside me all the time
Posted by Susan47 on October 17, 2005, at 21:50:45
In reply to help, posted by lostinfeelings on October 17, 2005, at 18:42:09
Thank God your therapist is okay with the transference feelings. Keep a probe on how she's doing with that, as you don't want to be suddenly let go, dropped from her roster of clients, that can be terrible and terribly demeaning and hurtful. It got me completely stuck unable to move forward, for a long, long time. But then so did the inability to lavish my "love" on my therapist, it was a double-edged sword. It was horrible. I wish you all the best in your journey, and if the therapist becomes a hurtful burden, please don't hesitate to seek others. Because you can move forward without the dependency, honestly, and the pain. IMO.
Posted by bird in the sky on October 17, 2005, at 23:34:04
In reply to help, posted by lostinfeelings on October 17, 2005, at 18:42:09
You are sooo lucky to be able to hug her. Oh man,what i would give to hug my therapist. I think about it so much and yes i do love him. i have never even shook his hand. I want so much to hug him i cry for it. When i see other men hugging girls or women i get upset, jealous maybe. I always think about coaches hugging their atheletes they have trained. Remember in the olympics? If this is ok, why is it not ok for him to hug me? I believe it's ok. I think he is too hung up or scared of what i don't know. bird
Posted by lostinfeelings on October 18, 2005, at 18:48:40
In reply to Re: help, posted by bird in the sky on October 17, 2005, at 23:34:04
The amazing thing is I did not have ot ask for a hug she gives it to me and it makes me feel better when i leave her office. I have never asked for a hug ever. there are times where i wished that she would hold me long enough for me to let all the pain and hurt out. I just told her this recently so hopefully she will aloow it. who knows.Bird sometimes when it comes to a hug maybe we need to learn to ask for it. it is no harm in asking for a hug. The worst thing that you could do is just do it without asking know what i mean> I know that therapist has to have boundries but hugging does not cause any harm
> You are sooo lucky to be able to hug her. Oh man,what i would give to hug my therapist. I think about it so much and yes i do love him. i have never even shook his hand. I want so much to hug him i cry for it. When i see other men hugging girls or women i get upset, jealous maybe. I always think about coaches hugging their atheletes they have trained. Remember in the olympics? If this is ok, why is it not ok for him to hug me? I believe it's ok. I think he is too hung up or scared of what i don't know. bird
Posted by Susan47 on October 18, 2005, at 18:50:24
In reply to Re: help, posted by bird in the sky on October 17, 2005, at 23:34:04
I work with a lot of men, but I'm not friends with any of them outside of work. Now, it's okay for women to hug each other at work, but it's never okay for men and women to do that.
Why? Because we're all hung up about sex. It's the same with male/female therapists, I'm convinced of it, and there's no point in wishing to touch anyone if there's any possibility of sex ever happening, which is sick, sick sick Sick, because then what happens is we isolate, and that's even worse.
Posted by Susan47 on October 18, 2005, at 19:13:52
In reply to Re: help, posted by lostinfeelings on October 18, 2005, at 18:48:40
That's really nice, that you needed this and the therapist offered it to you without you even having to ask. I love it that this therapist's in touch with your feelings. Isn't that great? Keep telling us how things happen, because there's a lot of interest on Babble about therapies and the therapist/client relationship. I'm presently seeing a therapist who's doing EMDR with me; at the end of the last session she opened her arms slightly in some welcoming way as she said good-bye, huge huge warm smile and all, and I thought, that's nice that she's willing to do that but it's the last thing I really want, from her! The EMDR we're doing together is just all I need from her. I still don't really like her completely, she's another one of those "doctor"s with a big head. Perhaps when you're constantly helping people get better, and you think that's the most important thing you could be doing, your head just swells naturally. 'Cause that's what I've seen in all therapists, psychiatrists, and MD's. Sometimes their real personality is good enough to overcome a lot of the ugliness of their constantly-proven assertion that they're attractive, wanted, and needed, and helpful. That assertion can look just really ugly and closed-off.
My last T had it, I think, but towards the end, when I believe I wore him down to a bit more honesty, I think his real self managed to whittle its way a bit out of the hard bark he'd covered himself in.
I think a lot of what happens in therapy, maybe even most of it, has to do with the relationship between the two people. But the client has to also learn not to feel bound to take the responsibility for what happens in that relationship. Which is what seems to be happening in almost all of these client/therapist relationships that're suddenly terminated on the part of the therapist.
There's a reason we associate the word "terminate", with death. Not just the end of something, but the end of self.
Posted by Susan47 on October 18, 2005, at 19:20:34
In reply to Re: help » lostinfeelings, posted by Susan47 on October 18, 2005, at 19:13:52
I believe Dr. Bob sometimes has that look. It's what gives him that slightly maniacally nice, helpful, I'm-so-sexy-aren't-I look ... that look always gets him a lot of posts. But maybe not as many as his travelling pics, the little attention-seekers.
Posted by bird in the sky on October 18, 2005, at 20:52:23
In reply to Re: help, posted by Susan47 on October 18, 2005, at 18:50:24
I have talked with my T a bit about this. Why he won't give me a hug. (yes, i have asked, pleaded, gestured etc) Our talk was before he knew i am in love with him. Maybe even before i knew... I think it mostly has to do with he thinks the boundaries should be this way as far as the T/client relationship. He mentioned that a client could claim improper touching and he could lose his liscence. I tried to convince him otherwise and even threatened to stop seeing him cause it sounded like he didn't trust me. I gave in first and continued to see him. I don't know why it's so important to me, he says it has to do with the love i didn't receive from my mom. but that doesn't help my desire and longing...
Posted by lostinfeelings on October 19, 2005, at 17:29:58
In reply to Re: help » lostinfeelings, posted by Susan47 on October 17, 2005, at 21:50:45
>yes she is ok with it and i do not think that it is her intention of ever hurting me,she has already told me that she would not drop me because of my feelings for her.Because of my feelings for her it motivsates me to work on me because I fel like i am someone and she respects me like i respect her
Thank God your therapist is okay with the transference feelings. Keep a probe on how she's doing with that, as you don't want to be suddenly let go, dropped from her roster of clients, that can be terrible and terribly demeaning and hurtful. It got me completely stuck unable to move forward, for a long, long time. But then so did the inability to lavish my "love" on my therapist, it was a double-edged sword. It was horrible. I wish you all the best in your journey, and if the therapist becomes a hurtful burden, please don't hesitate to seek others. Because you can move forward without the dependency, honestly, and the pain. IMO.
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