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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by alexandra_k on January 10, 2005, at 20:55:36
In reply to Re: What about PB pushes your buttons?, posted by alexandra_k on January 9, 2005, at 14:47:45
I guess it is good to know what people do find triggering...
Posted by annierose on January 10, 2005, at 22:20:09
In reply to Re: What about PB pushes your buttons? » Miss Honeychurch, posted by crushedout on January 10, 2005, at 13:09:57
Hi Crushed -
Yes, I have expressed concerned for the poster, but I don't hold their choices against them. The poster we are talking about is nothing but supportive to most of the people who post on this and the other boards. She is very nice (just lives a little on the edge). And that's okay with me!!
Posted by judy1 on January 10, 2005, at 23:20:35
In reply to What about PB pushes your buttons?, posted by mair on January 9, 2005, at 7:38:39
ah triggering posts. mostly I think it's some people who deliberately inflame, kind of hit and run. it's why I just tend to read posts that are written by people I know (like you :-), and don't even open ones written by people I don't recognize. which is probably unfair, but having been burned several times and reacting in a self-harming fashion, I finally have learned. we've talked before how some of us are 'exquisitely' sensitive- I know I certainly fit that category.
take care, judy
Posted by TofuEmmy on January 10, 2005, at 23:32:53
In reply to Re: What about PB pushes your buttons? » crushedout, posted by annierose on January 10, 2005, at 22:20:09
I guess this is the problem with a post about touchy subjects...things get touchy.
Perhaps if we step back and remember that it's not a single poster we are talking about. I can easily think of 3 in the last few months who have posted on this topic. And I'd imagine there are others who post here who were not able to admit T relationships became physical. And yet others with these relationships who are lurkers.
So, it isn't just that one poster who I assume people are talking about, right? It's the general topic of therapists who sleep with their patients. That is a difficult topic for a lot of us, for different reasons.
emmy
Posted by crushedout on January 11, 2005, at 8:30:24
In reply to What about PB pushes your buttons? T's and px's, posted by TofuEmmy on January 10, 2005, at 23:32:53
Yes, I wasn't talking about a single poster. I could think of more than one.
Posted by Joslynn on January 11, 2005, at 9:50:23
In reply to What about PB pushes your buttons? T's and px's, posted by TofuEmmy on January 10, 2005, at 23:32:53
Yes to answer your question, the cases of violations I remember were not just one individual. And I do not want to gang up on the client, it's the Ts who I want to "gang up" on, if that makes sense.
Now that I think about it, it may not have been just this board, maybe it was another one??? Social? I don't even remember all the names involved.
It is the T's behavior that pushes my buttons, not the clients. And it is the congratulations of other posts that pushed my buttons too. I thought it would give the wrong idea to lurkers or newbies and let the Ts "off the hook," so to speak. I think what the Ts are doing is a form of abuse.
But let me make one thing clear, I totally understand why a person would want to get physically intimate with a T! Completely. But it horrifies me that some Ts take advantage of this. If I didn't understand that temptation, the posts wouldn't upset me so much. It's like, there but for the grace of God go I, except that I was lucky enough to have someome professional who didn't take advantage of me and add a new problem to my existing ones.
I don''t blame the clients, I blame the Ts. And as someone who believes it's wrong (along with all the professional organizations who monitor these things) I feel like I should speak up and say it's wrong, the Ts are acting out terribly.
Posted by judy1 on January 11, 2005, at 17:56:11
In reply to Re: What about PB pushes your buttons?, posted by Joslynn on January 10, 2005, at 11:41:03
I've been away from the board for a while and haven't read about recent boundary crossings between therps and clients. as a former victim that took years to recover, I can't imagine that anyone actually thinks that this is acceptable behavior on the part of a pdoc or therp. perhaps I didn't understand your post?
thanks, judy
Posted by Dinah on January 11, 2005, at 19:16:43
In reply to Did that actually happen? » Joslynn, posted by judy1 on January 11, 2005, at 17:56:11
Posted by LG04 on January 11, 2005, at 23:28:11
In reply to What about PB pushes your buttons?, posted by mair on January 9, 2005, at 7:38:39
My buttons get pushed when I start a thread and only get a few answers. It makes me feel sort of rejected or something like that, or like others belong here and i don't. Or "unpopular," i.e. no one likes me *sniffle sniffle.* (how childish is that?!)
Posted by Fallen4MyT on January 12, 2005, at 1:19:35
In reply to Re: What about PB pushes your buttons?, posted by LG04 on January 11, 2005, at 23:28:11
> My buttons get pushed when I start a thread and only get a few answers. It makes me feel sort of rejected or something like that, or like others belong here and i don't. Or "unpopular," i.e. no one likes me *sniffle sniffle.* (how childish is that?!)
LG, sometimes these are true cases <if you babble cliques you will see it goes way back> but in your case its not true you are well liked on here and I listen to you..sometimes on a subject I do not have an answer or its way out of my area so i just read and pass on..and no it is not childish its very human
Posted by Dinah on January 12, 2005, at 5:22:39
In reply to Re: What about PB pushes your buttons?, posted by LG04 on January 11, 2005, at 23:28:11
Chuckle. Well, in your case I can provide an answer about myself if no one else. :)
The topic of losing your therapist is such a button pusher to me that I have to be in a really really stable mood to tackle it in more than a general commiserating short reply. And I usually think my comments would be more unhelpful than helpful.
That's usually the reason for my responses or lack thereof. I've got a big mouth and find the topic of therapy fascinating. So if I don't reply it's usually because a) I'm in a bad place (in which case I usually catch up eventually and reply late) b) By the time I get there, others have replied comprehensively and I don't feel I could add anything c) It's not a topic that I can really relate to or d) It's a topic that I can relate to a bit too well.
:)
I can't think of a single PB Psychology poster that I choose not to reply to based on who they are. No, not a single one. I can, however, think of a few that no matter how bad I'm feeling, I try to read because they've been such a steady and constant source of support in my life.
Posted by mair on January 12, 2005, at 7:01:13
In reply to Re: What about PB pushes your buttons?, posted by LG04 on January 11, 2005, at 23:28:11
I don't think it's childish at all and probably more typical than you might think. I sometimes think that the best way for a thread to end is for me to post on it.
And I don't think that those of us who have insecurities about fitting in, park those at the door when we come to this site.
Mair
Posted by cubic_me on January 12, 2005, at 8:01:11
In reply to Re: What about PB pushes your buttons?, posted by LG04 on January 11, 2005, at 23:28:11
> My buttons get pushed when I start a thread and only get a few answers. It makes me feel sort of rejected or something like that, or like others belong here and i don't. Or "unpopular," i.e. no one likes me *sniffle sniffle.
Me too, even though intellectually I know it's not true.
Posted by LG04 on January 12, 2005, at 22:48:51
In reply to Re: What about PB pushes your buttons? » LG04, posted by cubic_me on January 12, 2005, at 8:01:11
everyone's responses were very sweet and reassuring. i'm glad i posted what i did. thank you.
Posted by Joslynn on January 16, 2005, at 17:21:36
In reply to Did that actually happen? » Joslynn, posted by judy1 on January 11, 2005, at 17:56:11
Yes there have been cases on this board and I believe social about Ts getting sexually involved with clients. And I do remember some congratulatory posts. However, I realize now that it probably isn't fair or helpful for me to bring this up now, after the fact, about posts I don't really remember well.
In my own past sitch I felt like some boundaries were crossed by a professional--some compliments and inappropriate self-disclosure--so I am probably projecting my anger at him onto the other Ts here who made much worse errors. Of course what I should do is focus on my OWN sitch and feelings.
I still think that it's wrong for Ts to have sex with clients, but I think I should stay out of this in the future and focus on myself.
Posted by gardenergirl on January 16, 2005, at 21:10:43
In reply to Re: What about PB pushes your buttons?, posted by LG04 on January 12, 2005, at 22:48:51
I don't like it when it starts to feel like Jr. High or High school. Did that once. Don't want to go there again.
gg
Posted by mair on January 17, 2005, at 9:41:40
In reply to Re: What about PB pushes your buttons?, posted by gardenergirl on January 16, 2005, at 21:10:43
GG - are you sort of thinking of the occasional admin board disputes, or did you have something else in mind?
Mair
Posted by TofuEmmy on January 17, 2005, at 10:25:51
In reply to Re: What about PB pushes your buttons? » gardenergirl, posted by mair on January 17, 2005, at 9:41:40
I'm SURE she's talking about me. See, I passed this note to AllDone about meeting me after school, and Dr. Bob caught me! And now he knows I have this HUGE crush on KK, and I'm afraid he's gunna tell like EVERYONE!! Egads!!!
I'm WAY embarrassed....
Emmy
Posted by Dinah on January 17, 2005, at 10:36:23
In reply to Re: What about PB pushes your buttons? » mair, posted by TofuEmmy on January 17, 2005, at 10:25:51
:-)
Gollly, I miss those days. And I wasn't even popular!
Posted by Joslynn on January 17, 2005, at 10:50:01
In reply to Re: Did that actually happen? » judy1, posted by Joslynn on January 16, 2005, at 17:21:36
By the way, I don't think that a compliment is a boundary crossing, but if it's from a T or pdoc man to a woman client about her being pretty, nice eye color, etc., and repeated a lot, combined with self-disclosure about problems from that professional's own personal life, it can feel somewhat romantic to the younger single woman. This creates an illusion and intrigue, for me anyway, which can end up being quite painful.
(I don't think that a compliment like, you are a very strong/smart/funny etc person is wrong, just the types of compliments above combined with other things.)
I do like a compliment!
Posted by gardenergirl on January 17, 2005, at 10:58:03
In reply to Re: What about PB pushes your buttons? » gardenergirl, posted by mair on January 17, 2005, at 9:41:40
Mair,
I'm not sure I'm thinking of anything in particular, although the admin board disputes can be annoying. I guess I'm thinking of things that affect me personally that remind me of high school dynamics, but I don't really have a good example to share.gg
Although ha ha on tofuemmy for getting busted! ;)
Posted by mair on January 17, 2005, at 11:21:15
In reply to Re: What about PB pushes your buttons? » mair, posted by gardenergirl on January 17, 2005, at 10:58:03
I have a soon-to-be 17 year old daughter, so I'm not sure I can distinguish between high school dynamics and normal life since I'm exposed to those high school dynamics on a daily basis.
What I have noticed is that PB can generate for me a lot of the same sorts of feelings I recall from middle and high school - feeling invisible or not a part of a group, or wanting someone else's approval too much, or perceiving a slight where none was intended. I'm pretty sure these arise totally independently of anything anyone else is posting here so I think of them as my issues and not the result of high school type dynamics. And really those feelings probably pre-date those wonderful middle school years anyway.
Mair
Posted by gardenergirl on January 17, 2005, at 13:46:02
In reply to High School Dynamics, posted by mair on January 17, 2005, at 11:21:15
That's a good description of what I meant. And yeah, it's definitely my own issue, but sometimes Babbler behavior triggers it. So I guess for the most part, it's not something that will change, but I can change my reaction to it. Or at least recognize what I'm feeling and where it might be coming from.
gg
Posted by Gabbix2 on January 17, 2005, at 14:52:58
In reply to Re: What about PB pushes your buttons?, posted by gardenergirl on January 16, 2005, at 21:10:43
> I don't like it when it starts to feel like Jr. High or High school. Did that once. Don't want to go there again.
Yeah that's mine too I think, passive agressive comments, and barely hidden shots at other posters between posters. I'm also with Joslynn in that I hate info mercial type spiels that pop up every now and again on how "my cure" is good for everyone, it's so presumtuous, I mean how do they even know I want to BE like them-- maybe I don't even think they're better.. : )
Posted by Gabbix2 on January 17, 2005, at 14:54:36
In reply to Re: What about PB pushes your buttons? » gardenergirl, posted by Gabbix2 on January 17, 2005, at 14:52:58
Although I have to say, I think sometimes the strictness of the civilty rules sometimes encourages passive agressiveness.
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]
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