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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by daisym on December 21, 2004, at 19:22:34
In reply to Re: What are you thinking about? » Dinah, posted by gardenergirl on December 21, 2004, at 18:25:09
GG,
At least you don't just sit there until the client starts. I would hate that! My therapist usually asks, "how are things?" Or "How are you?" if I don't launch into something.
The worse was once he said, "I think your pre-session anxiety followed you in here. I feel it." I worried the whole session about making him anxious. I finally said "I want to say I'm sorry for making you anxious today..." He looked confused and then said, "no, I meant I could see it all over you." *sigh*
The other "standard phrase" is when he ends a phone message. I like, "I'll talk with you soon." But once he said, "OK, be well." and hung up. If I was "well" I wouldn't have called!! urg
Posted by cubic_me on December 22, 2004, at 11:06:51
In reply to Re: What are you thinking about? » Dinah, posted by gardenergirl on December 21, 2004, at 18:25:09
Mine just sat there until I said something.I *hated* that with a passion - what are you meant to say? Even when I had thought of what I was going to say at that first silence, when it came, my mind went blank.
Posted by gardenergirl on December 22, 2004, at 11:17:42
In reply to Re: What are you thinking about? GG and Daisy, posted by cubic_me on December 22, 2004, at 11:06:51
Now that I think about it, I don't think mine says anything. But I never have trouble getting started. I'm a talker. I should be quiet just to see what he would do. ;)
gg
Posted by pegasus on December 22, 2004, at 13:11:03
In reply to Re: What are you thinking about? GG and Daisy, posted by cubic_me on December 22, 2004, at 11:06:51
Yeah, I dumped a therapist once for doing this. Well . . . and other things. But just sitting there looking at me goofily at the beginning of the session made me feel so inadequate somehow. I needed the little social niceties time, or some type of intro into the session to get going.
pegasus
Posted by Annierose on December 22, 2004, at 13:45:59
In reply to Re: What are you thinking about? GG and Daisy, posted by pegasus on December 22, 2004, at 13:11:03
My T says "hello" and that kind of thing, and then will usually wait for me to start. Now if she knew something specific I was doing the previous day (Thanksgiving dinner for example) she might ask "So how did it go?" That type of thing, or after I went on vacation, "How was your trip?" But normally, after our hellos, I lie down, and try to breathe slowly and try to start. If I struggle, she will then ask, "so, what are you thinking about?" or "What's on your mind today?" ... I don't think there is an easy way to start. I guess I wish she would ask a more directed question, example, "Last time when we talked, you mentioned xyz, let's explore that some more."
Posted by Dinah on December 22, 2004, at 18:45:43
In reply to Re: What are you thinking about? GG and Daisy » pegasus, posted by Annierose on December 22, 2004, at 13:45:59
Well, now that I've got him trained, he'll ask "How are you?" or "How was your weekend?", something like that. Although usually he doesn't get the chance. I'm conditioned to start speaking as soon as he sits down.
And gg, it may just be me that finds that question intimidating. What do you want to talk about makes whatever I have to say seem so optional...
Posted by annierose on December 22, 2004, at 19:49:36
In reply to Re: What are you thinking about? GG and Daisy, posted by Dinah on December 22, 2004, at 18:45:43
Dinah - When you mentioned the word "optional" it reminded me of a conversation I had with my T some time over the summer. I was struggling to talk, and she said, "this is your time, we can talk about anything you want" Well, that irritated me. I'm not there to talk about the weather, "Desperate Housewives" or the sale at the mall ... idle chit-chat. I wished she didn't say that. I did respond to something to that affect. I do find it harder to begin when we left off at something difficult the previous session. It's hard to get back to that spot. That's where I think she could help me go.
Posted by littleone on December 22, 2004, at 19:56:11
In reply to Re: What are you thinking about? GG and Daisy, posted by Dinah on December 22, 2004, at 18:45:43
> And gg, it may just be me that finds that question intimidating. What do you want to talk about makes whatever I have to say seem so optional...
Sorry gg, but I would never respond to that one either. Nothing I have to say feels important enough. But then, I don't actually respond to many prompts.
I think my T would get more frustrated with my standard phrases than what I do with his.
Fine.
Nothing.
I don't know.I really need to broaden my vocabulary.
Posted by Daisym on December 22, 2004, at 23:15:19
In reply to Re: What are you thinking about? GG and Daisy » Dinah, posted by annierose on December 22, 2004, at 19:49:36
I think you are over looking the possibility that discussing some of these other things paints a more complete picture of who you are for your therapist. I've talked with mine about weird things, like Star Trek, or boooks we've both read, or even shopping. (We were trying to figure out why grocery shopping made me sad.)
And talking about the weather -- once I said, "can't we just talk about the weather?!" He said, "sure. It has been cold. Do you think it will rain?" We persisted in this for a few minutes and I finally made a face at him and said, "fine! Uncle! Avoiding it is worse..."
Urg, Evil sometimes. :)
Posted by annierose on December 23, 2004, at 6:07:20
In reply to Small Talk » annierose, posted by Daisym on December 22, 2004, at 23:15:19
I suppose you are right. And we have talked about some of those more mundane things, and is has lead to some interesting conversations sometimes and sometimes not. I always have a book with me to read while I'm waiting and we have discussed that and I don't mind book talk.
This morning I woke up to at least 8 - 10 inches of snow and if she doesn't cancel our session (due to driving conditions...it keeps coming) I'll guess I will mention the weather today. I really want to go today.
Posted by gardenergirl on December 23, 2004, at 6:41:17
In reply to Re: Small Talk » Daisym, posted by annierose on December 23, 2004, at 6:07:20
annierose,
I wonder if we are close to each other? We've been hit with a ton of snow, too. Midwest?gg
Posted by Aphrodite on December 23, 2004, at 8:36:29
In reply to Re: Small Talk, posted by gardenergirl on December 23, 2004, at 6:41:17
Blizzard here. He said he'd call for a phone check-in, though. I'm disappointed b/c I had a little holiday gift for him.
Posted by gardenergirl on December 23, 2004, at 9:08:32
In reply to no therapy for me today :( » gardenergirl, posted by Aphrodite on December 23, 2004, at 8:36:29
Bummer. We have a blizzard here, too, although it's finally stopped for the moment. Hubby is out shovelling (again).
If I had an appointment as usual yesterday, I'd have had to cancel it due to snow. But he's off this week. sniff sniff.
I did work on that workbook some more though, in place of therapy this week.
Do something nice for yourself, and you can always give the gift next time. It's understandable.
gg
Posted by annierose on December 23, 2004, at 9:38:58
In reply to Re: no therapy for me today :( » Aphrodite, posted by gardenergirl on December 23, 2004, at 9:08:32
Yeppers - Midwest - I'm in Michigan, so I think some states got hit worse. We're already at 8 or 9, expecting up to 12. Good news though, I have a therapy appoitment today and she did NOT cancel, nor did my babysitter! I already got out today, and the driving is bad, but no one is on the roads, so it's not too bad (does that make sense?). I, too, have a holiday present to give my T and stuff I wanted to talk about, so I'm glad she is working. Wrote her a long letter as part of my gift, and it will be uncomfortable to have her read it while I sit there, but oh well, I'll get through it.
Posted by annierose on December 23, 2004, at 9:42:17
In reply to Re: Snowed in » gardenergirl, posted by annierose on December 23, 2004, at 9:38:58
Hope you stay nice and cozy today with your workbook. I am going to start a fire, and I got the makings for s'mores for the kids, once they come inside from their snow fun. Is your T working next week? My T took off the week of Thanksgiving, and I assumed she would take off this week too (has children) so I am so thrilled she is working. I was involved in a court case that FINALLY settled this Tuesday, so I have lots to share with her.
Posted by Aphrodite on December 23, 2004, at 9:46:41
In reply to Re: no therapy for me today :( » Aphrodite, posted by gardenergirl on December 23, 2004, at 9:08:32
How did you like it? It ripped my heart out sometimes; I did a lot of crying. Overall, though, I learned a lot about myself.
Posted by daisym on December 23, 2004, at 12:32:20
In reply to workbook » gardenergirl, posted by Aphrodite on December 23, 2004, at 9:46:41
No white Christmas for us. But at least the fog is gone.
My kids have shorts on.
:)
Posted by Aphrodite on December 23, 2004, at 14:19:14
In reply to It is sunny and highs expected of 67 degrees, posted by daisym on December 23, 2004, at 12:32:20
Wind chill 0. 20 inches of snow. I can't seem to warm up. Wanna visit?
Posted by annierose on December 23, 2004, at 17:23:24
In reply to It is sunny and highs expected of 67 degrees, posted by daisym on December 23, 2004, at 12:32:20
You California girls have all the luck! Enjoy the sunshine!!
Since I do live in a cold weather state, I am glad it did snow before Christmas. Our neighborhood organizes this luminary candle light walk on Christmas Eve and it is so much more beautiful with snow.
Hey Daisy, did your T like your gift? I gave my T her gift today. Of course, it's always hard to really know, but mine was simple enough. It was a sterling silver circle pendant (necklace) on a black cord. I like the symbolism of the circle, that our therapy has come full circle, that life is a circular journey, etc. etc. It was a nice session before Christmas.
Posted by gardenergirl on December 23, 2004, at 21:35:15
In reply to Re: Snowed in » gardenergirl, posted by annierose on December 23, 2004, at 9:38:58
Oh goodie, snow where we are headed next week! I've got family in Detroit, and we are heading up there for a couple days just before New Year's Eve. Hopefully no more storms between now and then.
Happy holidays!
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on December 23, 2004, at 21:37:13
In reply to Re: Snowed in/GG, posted by annierose on December 23, 2004, at 9:42:17
My T is working next week, so I will see him then. I'm glad. Last year I went to Florida for the holidays, and missed three weeks in a row. That was not good. One is enough, thank you very much.
Mmmmmm, smores. Love those!
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on December 23, 2004, at 21:39:13
In reply to workbook » gardenergirl, posted by Aphrodite on December 23, 2004, at 9:46:41
I haven't got very far in it yet. It's kind of hard to "find" her at times. But I'm working on it. Thanks for asking!
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on December 23, 2004, at 21:40:51
In reply to It is sunny and highs expected of 67 degrees, posted by daisym on December 23, 2004, at 12:32:20
Except I may not get to have my family here if the roads don't get better and the airport doesn't improve. :(
gg
Posted by dawnfawn on December 24, 2004, at 10:09:58
In reply to I hear what you're saying., posted by Dinah on December 17, 2004, at 16:06:24
Depending on your relationship with this T a witty reply may be "I hope so, otherwise maybe I could help you get a hearing aid". I suspect that is a trifle snappy. I would have replied that I didn't think prosaic sayings would assist us in our mutual work together and I was surprised to hear such a comment from you.
Posted by Dinah on December 24, 2004, at 19:46:20
In reply to Re: I hear what you're saying., posted by dawnfawn on December 24, 2004, at 10:09:58
Well, it *was* one statement in the context of an entire relationship. I tend to cut people I care about a fair amount of slack if the overall relationship is a good and valuable one. We're all allowed to be idiots from time to time, and he doesn't call me on each and every foolish thing I say. :)
I did mention it to him, in a teasing manner, and he replied with humor. But he obviously didn't really remember saying it. I really think he just said the wrong thing, possibly because he was concentrating on trying to figure out what I was saying rather than on what he was saying. I've reminded him that I prefer him to just ask when he doesn't understand, and I'm sure he'll remember for a reasonable period of time.
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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