![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 32 to 56 of 86. Go back in thread:
Posted by pegasus on December 18, 2003, at 14:15:24
In reply to Therapy gripe, posted by Karen_kay on December 17, 2003, at 15:08:39
Sometimes when I go into apology overdrive, he gets a little exasperated and stops telling me that it's ok. He's supposed to keep telling me that forever! Once he joked about what would happen if he agreed with me. If he said something like, "Yeah, well you better be sorry!" Yikes!
Posted by Karen_kay on December 18, 2003, at 15:15:21
In reply to Re: You are TOO much!, posted by LostGirl on December 18, 2003, at 13:20:22
You mean my therapist uses the restroom? (and I'm only half joking here...) I try not to see him as human. He's super human. He's not like any man I've met before. Ok, so I'll say he does go #1 but most certainly not # 2... No no no...
(Not that I wouldn't mind picturing him holding his...)As for the tatoo... I'd said "Wow, nice ink. I wouldn't think YOU would have a tatoo." Ha ha.. See what she says. But, I'm bad about calling people on things. And he calls me on things too. So I guess that makes us even? But he's the therapist, he's supposed to know better.
Posted by Karen_kay on December 18, 2003, at 15:30:08
In reply to Re: Therapy gripe » Karen_kay, posted by Penny on December 18, 2003, at 13:22:38
Ok, I see now....I would NOT want to spend an entire hour with my pdoc. Sometimes the 15 minutes I have with him is too much to take. I enjoy the nurses in his office. They are a hoot! But it is sweet you have such a great relationship with him. Do you ever ask for a bite of his sandwhich? If it were my pdoc or therapist and they kept me waiting that long I'd be like "Hey, you kept me waiting so long, I'm famished. Do you mind sliding some of that my way?" I guess that's why I'm not very popular with my doctors, only the staff? The staff member seem to like me a lot, but they don't know me that well >)
My therapist doesn't seem to respond well to phone calls. If I call him, he calls back, but gets bent out of shape. (I can just hear it in his voice, maybe I'm just paranoid) Sort of like "Why are you calling me?" And I don't call often. I've been seeing him almost a year and I've called him maybe 7 times, 5 of which were to check appointment times or to schedule. So, I've only called twice "to talk"... Yeah, maybe he's a jerk. And he bites his fingernails sometimes. But, when he does I just kind of grunt and look away. I figure that is my way of showing my disapproval (like he cares?)
So, when they are picking their teeth, and noses, and nails.. does this mean we are boring them? Or that they can't stay focused? Or they just have poor manners? (Of course mine has the best manners.. he doesn't pick his teeth and eat it ROFL.....
It could be dangerous leaving someone in the waiting room for such an extended period of time, especially if they are waiting for their drugs.
Posted by Dinah on December 18, 2003, at 20:13:48
In reply to Re: You are TOO much!, posted by LostGirl on December 18, 2003, at 13:20:22
I think "I'll be right in" would have been sufficient, without telling you why. :)
I hate it when he leaves me in his office though. I always want to sneak a peek at my file.
Posted by Karen_kay on December 18, 2003, at 20:32:30
In reply to Re: You are TOO much! » LostGirl, posted by Dinah on December 18, 2003, at 20:13:48
Sneak a peek at your file? I wouldn't dare! I might, but I have a big mouth. He always leaves me in his office. As soon as I walk in to get something to drink, and after we are finished so he can get my receipt. I guess I could look at my file, but I would spend quite a while yelling at him about what he wrote. Maybe next session I'll ask what's in my file. And ask to have a peek. If he argues or tries to protest, then I have reason for concern. If he doesn't then I won't waste my time. But, I'm going to try the agenda thing, and the list of compliments. The agenda is purely to see his reaction. The list of compliments is so he will stop offending me with his lame ones.
One other thing that made me mad. He waited until the last two minutes and casually said "And in two weeks we can continue talking about such and such...." What was that??? Kinda made me mad. He could have at least told me earlier.
Posted by Dinah on December 18, 2003, at 20:46:16
In reply to Bad girl! » Dinah, posted by Karen_kay on December 18, 2003, at 20:32:30
I've never actually done it. I just hate being left with the urge.
I had the vacation/out of town talk with my therapist several times. He now knows to bring those things up at the beginning of the session as soon as he knows, rather than the end of session right before hand. I think that's only fair of him. I had to threaten to make session appointments a couple of months in advance, so that he would realize he needed to cancel, but he got the point and is pretty good about it now.
Posted by Karen_kay on December 18, 2003, at 21:12:20
In reply to Re: Not so bad girl. » Karen_kay, posted by Dinah on December 18, 2003, at 20:46:16
Every time I go in to my session I have the urge to ask him "Are you planning a vacation any time soon?" But, I almost don't want to know the answer to that. It may give him ideas. Maybe he doesn't think about a vacation. And I certainly wouldn't want to suggest one for him. Besides, I wouldn't see someone else, even if he suggested someone. It would just be a waste of my time and money. And I hate wasting money (yeah right).
Posted by Bell_75 on December 19, 2003, at 0:52:49
In reply to Re: Therapy gripe, posted by Miss Honeychurch on December 17, 2003, at 15:30:48
> My therapist seems to think that if we talk about something rationally for 15 minutes that my way of thinking will be "fixed." Last week we were discussing some of the guilt I was experiencing as a result of something which happened with my father. So I was telling him my seemingly irrational thought on the matter and he replaced it with more rational thinking. So after I said "yes, that makes sense." he said "Ok, then, that's taken care of," and then we'll move on! Little does he know I like to discuss things AT LENGTH and that my irrational thinking is not going to stop simply because he spent 15 minutes on the topic and declared it closed for the day!!!
>
> Another gripe is that we spend the first 5 minutes with small talk. Weather, current events, etc. I think this is such a waste of time and money! I have tried to go in there and immediately start addressing a particular subject, but it never really seems to work.
>
> And I know this was addressed earlier, but last week, for the first time ever, he picked his teeth in front of me! I was absolutely horrified. I'm sure he didn't even realize that he did it.
>
>LOL Ack the opening small talk! I feel your pain!
in today's session with sir shrink he was overtime with the person before me so i got in there half an hour after my booked time then he gave me a whole big spin on why he's late, how he's sorry if he seems abit on edge in my sessions cause theyre the last of a busy day and we talked about a few irrelevant borderline things that werent really the reason why I was there and all I could think was "we've already lost 1/2 an hour of our session why dont we skip the small talk this week".
Also, the very first words are often difficult to find because I walk in sit down, he does same then he looks at me as though "so what did you come for?" I don't know how to start the session.
He used to ask "so how was your week?" but now that's gone out the window I just sort of initiate convo on how my week was starting with the first thing that made that week not a good one lol
And also i related to how you mentioned how shrinks are under the impression that 15 minutes of rational thought solves a lifetime's problems.
My therapist once said to me "I don't even think you'd meet the criteria for depression now" just because I mentioned I'd been feeling good lately with how things are. (i still do think i have depression criteria or not, its not like I want to say I do but its just a matter-of-fact for now).
Bah! I love this group. So many people experiences similar stuff to me.
*hugs everyone in the group*
Posted by Bell_75 on December 19, 2003, at 1:02:34
In reply to my goat......., posted by justyourlaugh on December 17, 2003, at 16:01:02
> how about the silence...
> i answer the questions to the best of my ability and yet he waits...and waits..for me to say more...ive got nothing..
> should i make stuff up?
> he asked why i rarely looked at him...
> i said making eye contact with him would allow him to read my mind..i ment it to be funny..he didnt looked amused..
> i think i am going to wrap things up with him next time and move on with it...
> i feel so indifferent and drugged today
> j
*hugs*I also feel annoyed by the way sometimes your own answer (as un psych-lingo as it may be) is not enough. Or that if he asks a question and I dont have an answer off the top of my head there's this silence and he looks at me so I scramble around inside my head and spit anything out of my mouth just to satisfy him. I hate those psychological games they play like "i know you have the answer you just dont want to say it so I'll wait until you do"
Somedays I dont feel so quick on my feet yet he pushes for the answer he wants to hear.
I almost feel like giving an answer that is shocking or irrelevant just to get a reaction out of him. Or to hear him say just one..more...time.."So how does that make you feel?"
Posted by Bell_75 on December 19, 2003, at 1:32:56
In reply to Re: You are TOO much!, posted by LostGirl on December 18, 2003, at 13:20:22
>I hated when my former one occasionally let me in and said he's going to the bathroom and would be right back. I think he had me go in to his office first, rather than continue to wait in the waiting room because I would have heard him peeing in the little bathroom off the waiting room. I definitely would not have wanted that! It was bad enough picturing that he was actually in the bathroom, holding his.......
lmao I had a similar situation.
Usually I have my cell phone put on silent mode before I go in therapy but this time I had forgot.
We had gone overtime and my ride called to see if I was still there. Anyway, when my phone rang I looked at his bag then mine and thought "no i dont think he would have 'Crazy In Love' as his ringtone" . He quickly jumped out of his seat and said "you answer that and I'll be back in a minute"
This puzzled me abit but anywho he got back as I was ending the call and to surprise he sat looking quite relieved and I could hear the toilet flushing down the end of the hall lol
so I'm thinking "he was busting to go to the toilet and ceazed the moment?" lol otherwise he would've waited till we had finished the session.
He apologized for leaving and I'm still left thinking "did he just run off to the toilet?"
And yeah..it gave him the human aspect I never really wanted to think about.
He sips from a bottle of water occasionally while I'm talking but thats it. Oh and onetime he was running late with a client before me then i went straight back to his room as he was walking to her to the waiting room then we got back to his office, he paused nervously then said "can you hold on for a sec" I said yes then he rushed out of the room and came back relieved again I pressume.Its just a quirk that sort of makes me giggle. To think that I'm sitting there blabbering on about my life and he was busting to go to the toilet so much that he jumped up when my phone rang and left the room.
I wasnt even going to answer it but I guess you cant keep a man in agony :P Also the thought of him just having seconds earlier been holding his you-know-what sort of puzzled me abit too.
All I could think was 'I hope he washed those hands"
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on December 19, 2003, at 8:32:56
In reply to Re: You are TOO much!, posted by Bell_75 on December 19, 2003, at 1:32:56
That is hysterical!
My therapist's bathroom for some reason is not in the actual suite where he has his office, but in the hallway. This bathroom is adjacent to the office and you can hear every flush. Anyway, many times he sees me in the waiting room and he comes out and says "I'm just going to get some water, I'll be right back." And like clockworkwork, 2 minutes later, I hear the flush and he comes right back in. And I ALWAYS think about the handwashing thing since I always shake his hand before the session.
Posted by Karen_kay on December 19, 2003, at 8:53:14
In reply to Re: You are TOO much! » Bell_75, posted by Miss Honeychurch on December 19, 2003, at 8:32:56
One time my therapist had me bring in my boyfriend. And he shook his hand. It made me so angry because he has never shook my hand. Not even the first time we met. Then, about 2 months ago I got up to leave and out of nowhere he held out his hand for me to shake it. I must have looked puzzled, and I said, "Why are you offering your hand now?" He obviously didn't notice that he hadn't offered it before. He mentioned that his friends used to tease him about becoming a politician, because he always shakes hands. It still bothers me. And he still hasn't offered his hand since that day. Maybe from now on, I'll start sticking my hand out to shake. But, he does touch my shoulder as I leave now. That's better than the stupid hand shake anyday :)
I just HATE seeing his other clients as I am leaving... I feel like they are competition. I've mentioned one before, who I felt was prettier than I was. He told me I "had nothing to worry about" (what does that mean anyway?? is she not a regular? does he dislike her?) I have thought about asking him not to get other clients until after I leave, but I don't want to be TOO demanding...
Posted by LostGirl on December 19, 2003, at 9:11:16
In reply to Shaking hands.. » Miss Honeychurch, posted by Karen_kay on December 19, 2003, at 8:53:14
My husband and I saw the same therapist for couples therapy, then during part of then and beyond I was seeing him alone. When the couples part ended he said good things about the work we had done and shook my husband's hand, but not mine. I thought either it's a guy thing, or more likely, it's because he's still continuing to see me alone and therefore he feels he shouldn't touch me - it wasn't an ending with me, though it was an ending of couples work with me. Then when we really did end individually, I didn't get the handshake either. We didn't end on the greatest terms, because I was so mad that he forgot to tell me in advance about his vacation, and when he got back it wasn't sufficiently resolved so I quit. But I still think I spent a lot of agonizing time on the quitting part, and it was intense and great when it was working, so I felt I should have gotten that handshake in the end. Stupid and petty, I know, but for all I went through there, I should have gotten the handshake in the end.
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on December 19, 2003, at 10:08:36
In reply to Shaking hands.. » Miss Honeychurch, posted by Karen_kay on December 19, 2003, at 8:53:14
I would take a shoulder touch ANYDAY over a handshake. You lucky girl! My T (who works with children as well) says that he only shakes hands, no hugs, no nothing. Even with 6 year olds who come in and have a hard session or something, he just shakes their hands!!
As for his other clients, there is a separate exit from the entrance so I never see any of his other clients. However, as I was getting on the elevator yesterday after my appointment (we laughed hysterically over the new "agenda" I brought in (yours, Karen with the times etc)), another woman got off the elevator on that floor and went into the office. He shares the suite of offices with 4 child neurologists so I assumed she was going to be his next appointment. I haven't stopped thinking about her since. I do think I was prettier than she, but not by much. O well...
Posted by Karen_kay on December 19, 2003, at 11:17:34
In reply to Re: Shaking hands.., posted by LostGirl on December 19, 2003, at 9:11:16
You would think that since he is a therapist he would be politically correct and shake your hand, even if you are a girl. Sheesh! I said something the first time he shook my hand. Did you ever mention it? I don't think it's petty, but I tend to focus a lot on "little" things like that. I often return to sessions with the phrase "Something's been bothering me from the last session" and he'll start in on the hard stuff, which should bother me. But, I just glare at him, stop him midsentence (because he'll go on forever, assuming he's right), and say, "No, you haven't called me beautiful" or "You didn't shake my hand" or "You forgot to offer me water" or something stupid like that... I guess it's my way of avoiding issues. Or criticising him. Or trying to find a reason not to trust him (BINGO!)...
I was upset at the joint session because I tried to "coach" my boyfriend. I told him what he could and couldn't talk about. He refused to listen to me. Then, during the session, I felt like my therapist was attacking me. I decided from that point on I was not going to share him again! Forget that. At least not while I was in the room!
It's strange though, because now I get the feeling my therapist wants me to drop my boyfriend. He says he doesn't have a particular view either way (yeah, right!) but the things he says tells a different story. And I always call him on it. I frequently ask him if it annoys him when I call him on things (and argue with him) and he says he enjoys it. That's almost enough to make me want to stop doing it. Hmmmm... I guess that means I'm testing him?
Posted by Karen_kay on December 19, 2003, at 11:33:12
In reply to Re: Shaking hands.. » Karen_kay, posted by Miss Honeychurch on December 19, 2003, at 10:08:36
My therapist also works with children. And I ask him ALL the time if I'm his favorite client. I'm sure he finds this fairly annoying by now. He says that the children are (but I'm not at all jealous of them, just the pretty clients.. but I'm sure there are only a few prettier than I am. That doesn't make me sound very nice, does it?). I can't believe your therapist shakes their hands. That's just stupid! My therapist told me at first that he would have no physical contact. And he stuck to it. Then one day he touched my shoulder on the way out. It is a good thing I wasn't facing him or he would never do it again! I was grinning ear to ear :) And another time I was wearing sandals with extremely large heels and he was making fun of me for it and he touched my foot (that kind of repulsed me as I haven't had a pedicure in a while and I'm weird about feet).
And you should be happy to have seen his next appointment. Every Thursday he's thinking, "I'm glad I have sweet little Miss Honey to look at for an hour before that sour puss comes in spilling her same old pile of sh**. Miss Honey even wrote out times on her agenda this week. How very considerate of her to try and keep us on course! And she even has a great sense of humor. I wish Miss Honey and I could hook up. Wouldn't that be grand. Instead, I have to sit here for an hour and look at Miss Sour Puss for 50 minutes. My life sucks. Oh well. Hmm, I think I have something stuck in my teeth. (digging) Mmmm roast beef."
I think this is the typical thought process of your therapist every Thursday after you leave you session. And I'm sure you were much prettier than his other client. We tend to be a lot harder on ourselves (especially our appearances) than others are.
Posted by Penny on December 19, 2003, at 12:02:22
In reply to Re: Shaking hands and feet » Miss Honeychurch, posted by Karen_kay on December 19, 2003, at 11:33:12
Karen Kay, you are terrible! :-D That was TOO funny!!!
My therapist is a woman, so I don't think the physical contact thing is as big of a deal, though I've never touched her (can't remember if we shook hands when we first met or not, though I doubt it. I dunno). But I hugged my former T (also a woman) a few times, including at the end of our last visit.
But I've never hugged my pdoc - have shaken his hand, and I know he's touched my shoulder before - but I always want to hug him, but would never do that b/c I'm sure it's against the rules. Of course, my feelings for him are very much like he's a parent, not anything even *remotely* romantic or sexual, though he is cute!
Anyway - you crack me up!!!
P
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on December 19, 2003, at 12:17:58
In reply to Re: Shaking hands and feet » Miss Honeychurch, posted by Karen_kay on December 19, 2003, at 11:33:12
Karen, I'm absolutely positive that those are his thoughts exactly. Especially the "hooking up" part ROFL!!
I had tears in my eyes from laughing so much before I even handed him the new agenda. We didn't get much done on Thursday, I was in just too silly of a mood.
You are absolutely hysterical :)
Posted by Miss Honeychurch on December 19, 2003, at 12:20:12
In reply to Re: Shaking hands and PC » LostGirl, posted by Karen_kay on December 19, 2003, at 11:17:34
My therapist has suggested bringing in my husband, but there is no way I'm going to do this. I know I would feel in direct competition with my husband and feel very hurt if I felt I was being slighted in the least way. No way, he is MINE!
Posted by Karen_kay on December 19, 2003, at 12:27:10
In reply to Re: Shaking hands and feet » Karen_kay, posted by Penny on December 19, 2003, at 12:02:22
Yeah, let me tell you about my Pdoc.... I'd post his name but I'm a little paranoid. My therapist warned me about him. He said, "Now Dr. Dick (you get the picture!!) is very straightforward. You may feel like he is interrogating you. Just answer his questions and try to get out of there ASAP." This caused me some concern. So, I went to my first few appointments and I was fine. Well, the good doc put me on Geodon. (I have Bipolar Disorder) I thought I was having a manic episode. All of the symptoms were there except I was sleeping fine. Even when I went to my therapy session, my T thought for sure I was manic. I couldn't stop talking, and I would lose track of what I was saying. I was pacing in his office. I was a wreck. I had to call the office crisis line on 3 occassions. It was awful. (And, to make matters worse, I was out of town during this episode). So, when I arrived home, I made an appointment and he yelled at me. He said that I neeed to get my facts straight before I coerce my therapist into beleiving I'm manic. I was like "Huh? I'm the patient here. You are the doctors. You are supposed to know the signs. How is it that I could coerce my therapist into believing I'm manic?" But, I didn't say anything (can you believe that? I can't!) I just cried! And then he yelled at me for going over the allotted time. It turns out that I had akethesia from the Geodon. How was I suppossed to know that? Sheesh! But, I still like him. We get along great now. But, I make sure to dress up for appointments and research any drugs I'm taking. Actually, I'm the one who suggested the drug I'm on now and it works wonderfully!
So, I'm glad you have a wonderful relationship with your Pdoc. As for mine, other than that horrific run-in we get along great. :) But,I don't shake his hand and I'd never hug him. I did send him a thank you card once.
Posted by Karen_kay on December 19, 2003, at 12:36:36
In reply to Re: Shaking hands and PC » Karen_kay, posted by Miss Honeychurch on December 19, 2003, at 12:20:12
Competition...That is precisely it. Who's side do you take? And when my boyfriend came in he knew I had a crush on my therapist. So, I felt like maybe there wasn't enough estrogen in the room and maybe too much testosterone. And my therapist knew that my boyfriend knew, which made matters worse. I explained to my therapist that my boyfriend overheard a telephone conversation where I was making some remarks. My T was like "Maybe you shouldn't make those remarks when he is around." Well, no crap Sherlock! I hate it when he tells me things I already know. But, I have a big mouth. And in my defense, he WAS in the shower at the time. I just didn't hear the water turn off.
But, oddly enough, when my boyfriend was there, I felt more like I was being judged. Judged on my choice of a mate. (I made him dress nice).. Judged on his vocabulary. I tried to make it seem like my boyfriend was A-OK. It is all about appearances with me. I still can't get over that. I guess maybe that's why I felt I was being attacked.
Posted by Penny on December 19, 2003, at 12:58:00
In reply to The good ole Pdoc.. Penny, posted by Karen_kay on December 19, 2003, at 12:27:10
Well, my pdoc is one of four I've seen. The first two were terrible - the second one had narcolepsy, which, I understand, is not his fault, but he didn't tell me and then he would fall asleep in our sessions and I didn't know whether he was listening or not, and I don't think he heard half of what I said. Then I found the wonderful doc I have now, and I refuse to let him go. But I had to see another one when I was in the hospital and he was sorely lacking in bedside manner. Of the four, the ONLY one I trust is the one I see right now. He's fabulous...
Of course, he's not for everybody. He can be a little unorthodox at times, and I think someone who is a stickler for the rules (normal office hours, etc.) would be turned off by him. But, hey, doesn't bother me! Works better with my schedule!
Sigh...I feel so fortunate.
Glad to hear that things improved after that episode with your pdoc...oh my! I don't know that I would have gone back to him!
P
Posted by Bell_75 on December 19, 2003, at 16:56:59
In reply to Re: Shaking hands.. » Karen_kay, posted by Miss Honeychurch on December 19, 2003, at 10:08:36
When I first got introduced to my therapist (the woman I was seeing was leaving the clinic so I was being changed to him) we shook hands. But ever since there has been no physical contact and I think he has made it that way because we've discussed that I have trust issues with males and how I feel uncomfortable with males I dont know touching me.
Although onetime I handed him a piece of paper and..as lame as this sounds..our fingers brushed against each others and it surprised me. I think I liked the fact that I actually touched someone I've been seeing for months and told my most intimate thoughts to.
I think he takes in consideration that I'm sensitive on the issue of males touching me because onetime he asked to look at my arm where I used to cut myself and he went to reach out and grab it to look closer but he stopped himself and just leant over closer. I felt like abit of a fruitcake! It wouldn't bother me if he touched my arm to look at it but oh well.
I do like the fact that he's always a complete gentleman in that he lets me walk through the door first and he opens any door for me and holds it open.
*he shaved off his goatee yesturday which made him look like a pre-puberty teenager and all the studness of him went down the drain with his facial hair lol I'm crazy*
Posted by Karen_kay on December 19, 2003, at 18:30:51
In reply to Re: Shaking hands..physical contact etc, posted by Bell_75 on December 19, 2003, at 16:56:59
Ok, so does your therapist ever say anything that offends you? I just remembered a comment he made to me during the last session and it now angers me.... To the hundreth degree...
He was talking about my father and how little girls want to marry someone similar to their fathers. I said, "I wouldn't want to marry anyone like my father," and he was like "Of course not, your father liked little girls." I was appauled. Why would he say something so insulting? That was just a crappy thing to say. What's the stupidest thing your therapist has ever said? I think that's got to be the worst for him. It just had no point. BTW, I meant I wouldn't marry anyone who looked similar to my father. I didn't mean what he said. (JERK!)
Posted by pegasus on December 19, 2003, at 23:16:11
In reply to Re: Shaking hands.., posted by LostGirl on December 19, 2003, at 9:11:16
Once my T and I were talking about physical contact, and when he commented that we had never touched, I said that we probably shook hands when we first met (I couldn't remember). He said that we probably hadn't because he was raised in the south and was taught that a man never offers his hand to a woman. Men and women only shake hands if the woman offers first, which most women don't. So, maybe all of y'alls therapists were also raised in the south? At least the men?
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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