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Posted by Hunk20 on June 14, 2010, at 2:32:30
In reply to Re: what to do? » Hunk20, posted by Phillipa on June 13, 2010, at 19:15:48
im feeling worse than ever.. this is a crap situation.
Im not my true self anymore. And these f***heads just dont get what i even mean. I just want back to the states.
Somehow now it feels like the states where a dream or something like that. Like i was becoming some kind of god.
This is killing me what was going on and why is it going away
Posted by Hunk20 on June 14, 2010, at 4:26:55
In reply to NARDIL (Phenelzine) 4 weeks in, posted by Hunk20 on May 8, 2010, at 22:54:57
is this true/false self thing something like the inner child therapy?
im looking to find a therapist as fast as possible.
My true self is really angry because it isnt accepted in the mental hospital. The therapists dont know anything about it and give me funny looks when i explain. Its annoying.
Posted by Phillipa on June 14, 2010, at 19:31:23
In reply to true self=inner child?, posted by Hunk20 on June 14, 2010, at 4:26:55
Hunk I'm sorry still in the hospital? Phillipa
Posted by Hunk20 on June 15, 2010, at 4:02:53
In reply to Re: true self=inner child? » Hunk20, posted by Phillipa on June 14, 2010, at 19:31:23
Yeah.. im going back to the states. My father allowed me and said its ok. Got to pay from my money though but thats fine.
Posted by SLS on June 15, 2010, at 5:16:49
In reply to Re: true self=inner child?, posted by Hunk20 on June 15, 2010, at 4:02:53
> Yeah.. im going back to the states. My father allowed me and said its ok. Got to pay from my money though but thats fine.
You don't sound as manic right now.
I wish you the best. It sounds like you are doing the right thing. I wish to reiterate my concerns that you might experience a manic reaction to Nardil at 60mg, which appears to be the minimum dosage that you need to treat your depression.
Good luck.
- Scott
Posted by Hunk20 on June 15, 2010, at 8:28:43
In reply to Re: true self=inner child? » Hunk20, posted by SLS on June 15, 2010, at 5:16:49
45mg are enough for me believe me.
I was thinking to add a mini lithium dosage in the beginning for safety. The therapy is mentally painful...
Posted by europerep on June 15, 2010, at 13:30:52
In reply to switch me from nardil to parnate, posted by Hunk20 on June 13, 2010, at 6:54:42
> Because im running out of nardil and they dont have supply. Just hope its going to be just as good.
hmm yeah that's true, germany only has parnate (it's called jatrosom or something).. what are you doing in germany anyway though? belgium has phenelzine if at any point you desperately need it..
Posted by Hunk20 on June 15, 2010, at 21:46:03
In reply to Re: switch me from nardil to parnate, posted by europerep on June 15, 2010, at 13:30:52
I will go back to the states..
But i have to find ways to do this more safely..
Was thinking about adding low dose lithium to the nardil. That way i hope to keep the epiphanic effect of nardil but calm thoughts down and i heard something about anti suicidal.
Anyways first i have to get outta the hospital and take care of a visa etc.
Just trying to not spin things outta control more than necessary.
Posted by violette on June 15, 2010, at 21:59:27
In reply to Safety, posted by Hunk20 on June 15, 2010, at 21:46:03
Hey-relax, take it easy...one thing at a time. Focus on daily activities and stability for now..I would imagine its boring where you are out, and when you get out-you can exercise, spend time with friends, feel the sunlight, do some sight seeing. Take a relaxing trip to Trittenheimer or Trier. Have some fun. Save thoughts for your therapist :)
Posted by Phillipa on June 15, 2010, at 22:06:54
In reply to Re: Safety, posted by violette on June 15, 2010, at 21:59:27
Hunk take it slow. It will work out you'll see. Phillipa
Posted by Hunk20 on June 18, 2010, at 14:00:30
In reply to Re: Safety, posted by Phillipa on June 15, 2010, at 22:06:54
yeah i will just chill out here and let my psyche work things out.
will keep u updated
Posted by Phillipa on June 18, 2010, at 20:30:38
In reply to Re: Safety, posted by Hunk20 on June 18, 2010, at 14:00:30
Hunk sounds like you made a great decision. Phillipa
Posted by Hunk20 on June 23, 2010, at 12:53:14
In reply to Re: Safety, posted by Hunk20 on June 18, 2010, at 14:00:30
So now i will talk to my father to let me go.. let me live the live that i have chosen for myself.
Life in america.. therapy with that therapist and an simple JOB.
Good friends and a cute girlfriend.It sounds easy but in germany its not possible for me.. im kind of turning back to the old person.. the false person. Maybe i have to start pretending again and hold the pain in order to go back. One last time in my life pretending everything is ok.
I assume that "false self" state is the prevalent state in germany. No freedom at all. Just look at WW2. Angst, hatred, authority, lack of emotions...
both symptom and cause of HORRIBLE parenthood.
Wish me luck that i get outta here.
Posted by Dr. Bob on June 25, 2010, at 14:51:14
In reply to america, posted by Hunk20 on June 23, 2010, at 12:53:14
> So now i will talk to my father to let me go.. let me live the live that i have chosen for myself.
>
> Life in america.. therapy with that therapist and an simple JOB.
> Good friends and a cute girlfriend.Sorry to interrupt, but I'd like to redirect follow-ups regarding america to Psycho-Babble Social. Here's a link:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20100528/msgs/952161.html
Please do feel free to continue this discussion there, and in general to explore the other boards here.
That will be considered a new thread, however, so if you'd like to be notified by email of follow-ups to it, you'll need to request that there. Thanks,
Bob
Posted by Hunk20 on July 14, 2010, at 10:08:50
In reply to NARDIL (Phenelzine) 4 weeks in, posted by Hunk20 on May 8, 2010, at 22:54:57
Ok i talked to the psychologist and they help me to get back to america.
Im nervous about it honestly;)
I can always rebuild my authentic self right?
Posted by Phillipa on July 14, 2010, at 20:00:23
In reply to Hunk is back, posted by Hunk20 on July 14, 2010, at 10:08:50
Hi Hunk I sure hope so go easy on the meds. No mania please. Phillipa
Posted by Hunk20 on July 19, 2010, at 16:49:41
In reply to NARDIL (Phenelzine) 4 weeks in, posted by Hunk20 on May 8, 2010, at 22:54:57
Okay im chilling here and actually kinda enjoy it. Like holiday for the soul. Im doing some concentration training, excercise and bought a guitar. Will take guitar lessons here. Just relax and gather strength like you said. Propably some more weeks.
For a while i was almost a prisoner of the past again but now i feel like i am my authentic self... I really miss my therapist and the people who where part of my awakening. I will defenitly return.
Also i will defenitly go with low dose nardil again when im back.
Does anyone now a good lecture on boundaries? I need to fight of some stuff from my family.
Posted by Hunk20 on September 5, 2010, at 20:51:22
In reply to Re: NARDIL (Phenelzine) 4 weeks in » Hunk20, posted by jedi on May 11, 2010, at 18:53:44
Hey everyone,
i just wanted to say thank you for your guidance and help.
Im doing alright and it all makes sense now to me. im back in america like i wanted and feel like im heading in the right direction.
A few books i wanted to put out there that really helped me:
People of the Lie, The road less travelled both by Scott Peck,
Boundaries and Safe People, by cloud and townsend.Im not on nardil anymore but all i can say is if you feel like you need a big gun against depression.. consider nardil.. it works!!
Wish you all the best. Love and Light:) Hunk
Posted by Phillipa on September 5, 2010, at 21:18:41
In reply to Thank You!, posted by Hunk20 on September 5, 2010, at 20:51:22
Hi Hunk the first book I read was Scott Pecks years ago great author. So you on any meds now? What caused you to stop nardil? Phillipa
Posted by violette on September 6, 2010, at 0:56:14
In reply to Thank You!, posted by Hunk20 on September 5, 2010, at 20:51:22
Hey-nice to hear from you!! i'm so glad you got back to the states where you felt it was more supportive. Good idea to read books to better understand...You've got lots of courage...thanks for letting us know how you're doing! :)
ps hope you're not feeling too guilty about your relationship with your family i haven't spoken to my mother in a while now-it's necessary for me to heal...rather than immerse myself in unhealthy drama..sometimes you gotta take care of yourself first...
Posted by SLS on September 6, 2010, at 6:31:38
In reply to Thank You!, posted by Hunk20 on September 5, 2010, at 20:51:22
> Hey everyone,
>
> i just wanted to say thank you for your guidance and help.I'm glad that things are working out for you. I wish you luck in your ongoing process of self-discovery.
I like what Violette said.
- Scott
Posted by Hunk20 on September 6, 2010, at 15:01:01
In reply to Re: Thank You!, posted by violette on September 6, 2010, at 0:56:14
Thanks alot..
violette: i dont feel too guilty.. a good thing is i "infected" my mother.. she is on her way too.
Phillipa: They weined me off of nardil in the hospital.. 1. because nardil is not available in germany and i was going psychotic and was unstable as you maybe can remember..
Nardil is no toy :)
I currently am on 300mg Venlafaxine wich works a little.. ontop of that i take omega 3, lithium orothate and a bit of methylfolate(metanx).Self discovery is fun. Starting things i really love to do.. finally im not a fake anymore:)
Hunk
Posted by Phillipa on September 6, 2010, at 20:33:02
In reply to Re: Thank You!, posted by Hunk20 on September 6, 2010, at 15:01:01
Hunk I sure do remember. Was so concerned got in touch with a babbler on nardil and asked him to read your posts. So glad you entered the hospital and now you are on a med that is working for you. Now keep us updated please? Phillipa
Posted by Hunk20 on September 7, 2010, at 20:56:08
In reply to Re: Thank You! » Hunk20, posted by Phillipa on September 6, 2010, at 20:33:02
Thanks man.. youre a great guy!
It actually progressed to a mini psychosis but fortunately the police saw whats up and did the right thing- putting me in a hospital immediately.
Im starting a couple of new hobbies now.. so far its running and accoustic guitar :) Quit alot of destructive patterns.. and trying to get to know my first real friends. For the first time in my life i am picky:)
Jobwise i am looking closer into psychology because i think it can be really satisfying to help and see people grow.
love Hunk;)
Posted by Phillipa on September 7, 2010, at 21:18:49
In reply to Phillipa, posted by Hunk20 on September 7, 2010, at 20:56:08
Hunk that sounds great. So glad you got into the hospital when you needed to be there. I must say I was really worried about you. Love Phillipa. Babblemail me when you have time
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