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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 39 to 63 of 121. Go back in thread:
Posted by Pluto on May 17, 2008, at 11:44:56
In reply to Re: Very Much into Suicide.. If anyone can help, posted by bulldog2 on May 17, 2008, at 9:17:55
Friends,It is my life and you people are not supposed to shed tears. What the hell is going on? My problem is bloody serious and you guys will not understand it. Those who can give me their e-mail I will open my heart to them. Not to all, some people are very much into me. You guys... what is it with you...? Helping me will endanger you, and it is damn serious. Do you wanna help me then? You guys are living your life. I want to end this business. Only approach me with caution. anything can happen, because I am for death and you guys are for life.
Contact me on your own risk. OR what is babble mail? How to do it?
Posted by Pluto on May 17, 2008, at 11:49:39
In reply to Found my thread.. friends I am alive but, posted by Pluto on May 17, 2008, at 11:44:56
Friends,
I took more Lyrica and slept more. Consider 14 hours of sleep. Gee.. what happened? I don't care but I have to speak something to Phillippa , SLS and many of those who were seemed to be worrying of me. (what for? it is my life)
And one more question if allowed. How to babble mail? I would have given my mail id here, but how can I make sure those contacting me are babblers? Anybody can do it and I don't damn care those preachers.
There is a change I notice now. I took 900mg Lyrica overnight, and today I find my desktop pic Natalie Portman kinda beautiful. What a surprise.. I surfed some more galleries and those whom I used to see as black and white kinda boring pics are colorful now...! This kinda move will not be good. I will fall into depression again. My depression is unique. During depression, I am afraid of death. But now it is a child's play for me.
Anyway, How to do babble mail?
Posted by Phillipa on May 17, 2008, at 12:09:31
In reply to story so far..., posted by Pluto on May 17, 2008, at 11:49:39
Pluto hi I will tell you how to babblemail and please babblemail me as I can relate I think. Okay. When you read a post from me do you see my name in blue? If so click on my name and a screen will appear. On that screen you can write me or anyone in blue a private message and then below the message a place that says send babblemail click on that and it will go to only the person who's name you chose. Not all people have babblemail on and like you their name is in black. So if you babblemail me you can give me your e-mail and I can in turn give you mine. And we can talk. I'm not afraid of your story. BTW I did read the archieves last night and looked up a lot of Plutos posts and hence how I found your name. Please click my name in blue and send me an e-mail on babblemail. Love Phillipa. I will be waiting.
Posted by Phillipa on May 17, 2008, at 12:15:31
In reply to Re: story so far... » Pluto, posted by Phillipa on May 17, 2008, at 12:09:31
Pluto if you wish to turn your own babblemail on so others can contact you go to registration there is a place that says babblemail yes or no click yes and then others can e-mail you by babblemail too. It is safe so do not fear just be civil is the rule. Love Phillipa
Posted by SLS on May 17, 2008, at 12:18:26
In reply to Found my thread.. friends I am alive but, posted by Pluto on May 17, 2008, at 11:44:56
> Friends,
It is nice that you should consider some of us to be that.
> It is my life and you people are not supposed to shed tears.
"not supposed to" is not one of the immutable laws of the Universe.
It is my life, too. I can choose whom I care about. You are anonymous to me. I don't know much about you. However, I am sad when I see depression end up in suicide. I hate depression. It is the beast.
Anyway, what is it that you want us to understand? The answer to this question will help clear up any misunderstandings. You might get what you want.
- Scott
Posted by Pluto on May 17, 2008, at 12:26:15
In reply to Re: story so far... » Pluto, posted by Phillipa on May 17, 2008, at 12:09:31
Phillippa your babble mail is off. why?
Posted by Pluto on May 17, 2008, at 12:42:22
In reply to Re: Found my thread.. friends I am alive but, posted by SLS on May 17, 2008, at 12:18:26
> > Friends,
>
> It is nice that you should consider some of us to be that.
>
> > It is my life and you people are not supposed to shed tears.
>
> "not supposed to" is not one of the immutable laws of the Universe.
>
> It is my life, too. I can choose whom I care about. You are anonymous to me. I don't know much about you. However, I am sad when I see depression end up in suicide. I hate depression. It is the beast.
>
> Anyway, what is it that you want us to understand? The answer to this question will help clear up any misunderstandings. You might get what you want.
>
>
> - Scott
>
>Scott,
I can't say it in this public forum. Let me check your posts in other sections to know the person. Will you accept babble mail?
Posted by Phillipa on May 17, 2008, at 12:53:51
In reply to Phillippa your babble mail is off., posted by Pluto on May 17, 2008, at 12:26:15
Pluto you just babblemailed me so it's on. Phillipa
Posted by Phillipa on May 17, 2008, at 12:59:46
In reply to Re: Phillippa your babble mail is off. » Pluto, posted by Phillipa on May 17, 2008, at 12:53:51
Pluto did you just turn yours on as I thought it was off last night or I would have babblemailed you. Phillipa
Posted by okydoky on May 17, 2008, at 13:07:54
In reply to Very Much into Suicide.. If anyone can help, posted by Pluto on May 16, 2008, at 10:07:50
Pluto,
I did not notice yesterday that you were taking LYRICA. I get extremely despondent and suicidal on it. It takes a couple weeks after I stop it for the complete devastation it causes me to dissipate.
I recently had neurological testing and mentioned this reaction to the neurologist. She replied that a lot of people have similar problems with it. I also read some other posts about people having the same reaction and a warniing to get in touch with your doctor immediatly if you have this response. I never thought I would get out of "it" (how the LYRICA made me feel). It just kind of reminds me of how you are posting now.
I've had bad reactions to lots of meds in the past but nothing compared to the negative effect it had on my mood, affect and life outlook.
How long have you been on it? What do you take it for?
Hope this helps.
oky
Posted by SLS on May 17, 2008, at 13:13:51
In reply to Re: Found my thread.. friends I am alive but, posted by Pluto on May 17, 2008, at 12:42:22
I would like to point out that you are experiencing a true biological mood-lift as a result of the Lyrica. It might not last that long, but it proves that your brain is capable of operating in a healthier manner. You probably are not treatment-refractory (resistant to initial treatments, yes). There are no guarantees, but I see this as a good sign that you are treatable. For what it is worth, Lyrica and Neurontin share the ability to bind to the alpha2delta subunit of the calcium channel. I wouldn't be surprised if Neurontin did something positive. Lyrica is probably a better choice, though.
You may need something to slow your thoughts down and keep them positive. When someone is in a genuinely suicidal state, as you are, I recommend taking a look at Zyprexa. It will clear up thinking and give you new perspectives on how your world operates. I believe that there is a neurobiological substrate for suicide. Zyprexa can reorganize brain circuits so that you don't feel such an urgency. I use Abilify for this, but Zyprexa works better and can work within a few hours to a few days.
Regarding e-mail, I am a private person and set limits as to how close I let people get to me. I'm sure you can respect that. Having boundaries is very important to me. It keeps me healthy.
- Scott
Posted by SLS on May 17, 2008, at 13:17:10
In reply to Re: Very Much into Suicide.. If anyone can help » Pluto, posted by okydoky on May 17, 2008, at 13:07:54
> I get extremely despondent and suicidal on it. It takes a couple weeks after I stop it for the complete devastation it causes me to dissipate.Me too. Exactly. You might need to steer clear of Neurontin. Both drugs screw me up for weeks after discontinuing them. Interestingly, both drugs actually made me feel better during the first week.
- Scott
Posted by okydoky on May 17, 2008, at 13:35:38
In reply to Re: Very Much into Suicide.. If anyone can help, posted by SLS on May 17, 2008, at 13:17:10
>
> > I get extremely despondent and suicidal on it. It takes a couple weeks after I stop it for the complete devastation it causes me to dissipate.
>
> Me too. Exactly. You might need to steer clear of Neurontin. Both drugs screw me up for weeks after discontinuing them. Interestingly, both drugs actually made me feel better during the first week.
>
>
> - Scott
>
>Scott,
Not meaning to hijack this thread but thanks. I did try Neurontin in the hope that I would get help with the pain like lyrica but not the negative depression. It was different I had more affect by crying and it did not help the pain. I also initially had a positive response to the Lyrica. Was never sure if it was the extreme pain relief or actually some relief from the depression itself for me.
I just saw the pest to Pluto about Lyrica from you. I did not mean to imply he was having this negative reaction. Hello Pluto! But that it could be possible and might be worth seeing how he responds to not being on it for a while. What do you think? I would always defer to you about knowledge on these topics.
oky
Posted by SLS on May 17, 2008, at 16:09:07
In reply to Re: Very Much into Suicide.. If anyone can help » SLS, posted by okydoky on May 17, 2008, at 13:35:38
> >
> > > I get extremely despondent and suicidal on it. It takes a couple weeks after I stop it for the complete devastation it causes me to dissipate.
> >
> > Me too. Exactly. You might need to steer clear of Neurontin. Both drugs screw me up for weeks after discontinuing them. Interestingly, both drugs actually made me feel better during the first week.
> >
> >
> > - Scott
> >
> >
>
> Scott,
>
> Not meaning to hijack this thread but thanks. I did try Neurontin in the hope that I would get help with the pain like lyrica but not the negative depression. It was different I had more affect by crying and it did not help the pain. I also initially had a positive response to the Lyrica. Was never sure if it was the extreme pain relief or actually some relief from the depression itself for me.
>
> I just saw the pest to Pluto about Lyrica from you. I did not mean to imply he was having this negative reaction. Hello Pluto! But that it could be possible and might be worth seeing how he responds to not being on it for a while. What do you think?You might very well be right. I think Pluto needs to take a good look at that.
> I would always defer to you about knowledge on these topics.
I've got you fooled too.
;-)
- Scott
Posted by okydoky on May 17, 2008, at 17:36:54
In reply to Re: Very Much into Suicide.. If anyone can help » okydoky, posted by SLS on May 17, 2008, at 16:09:07
Posted by F00TBALL on May 17, 2008, at 22:33:44
In reply to Very Much into Suicide.. If anyone can help, posted by Pluto on May 16, 2008, at 10:07:50
Why so many drugs if you're suffering from neither depression or anxiety?
Take a week or two vacation from Provigil. It will be effective again.
Google "Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy" I think you should look into it.
Posted by Phillipa on May 17, 2008, at 23:54:34
In reply to Re: Found my thread.. friends I am alive but, posted by Pluto on May 17, 2008, at 12:42:22
Pluto by the way how are the kids and your wife as you said I am your Mom which makes the kids my grandkids and I miss them dearly. Would it be possible for you to come visit and bring them? And you I miss terribly. I do think you may possibly be on too many meds maybe we can work on them together here with the help of all the lovely people I have met here. Can we try? Miss my boy. Love Mom Phillipa
Posted by Fivefires on May 18, 2008, at 0:23:36
In reply to Very Much into Suicide.. If anyone can help, posted by Pluto on May 16, 2008, at 10:07:50
Provigil helps me Pluto. A lot.
I can't believe you're so highly cognitively aware w/ all on ur med list. RU sure you're not in a black hole? I think you are not. I believe you.
I know I've been very cognitively aware of these same thoughts and it 'would be a rational choice', not like times I was 'in a black hole and couldn't see there may be good times ahead'.
Thing is, there is beauty here in this painful life. Things are bad now. I mean, hospitals are full, I think this is the 4th to 5th largest city in US, and we're full!
Called astrologist friend; things are AFU out there around us. It's pounding on me. Some more than others will feel it.
I want you here. It's like a ship here. We all need each other. Please keep sharing.
All I have to offer besides my 'small talk' ...
Hold your hands out relaxed w/ your palms up and there is some good energy coming your way ...
Stretch them to the max first, and then lie down and open your hands w/ palms up, relaxed. If you/they tense up or start to curl up, stretch and strain them again, push your fingers back w/ the other hand, shake 'em out, and lay 'em out there again. Try (but don't try so hard it makes you tense) and hold them open and up in an open-minded way, a bit humbly. (I don't care for 'humble' much myself, but hey no one's watching.)
There is something good and you can get it through the palms of your hands and if you would like, let it travel to your heart.
It's here to be accessed in 'life'. I will not ask if you are sure of another. Curiousity is good, but I'll bet you've had some real bad backlash, huh?
This curiosity ... I'd be so thankful if you'd just stay and talk about it.
So,
(((((((((Pluto)))))))))
18 hugs 4 u,
and now, after I hit confirm, gonna lie down and send energy your way. I'll stay and keep sending. Just began new med so will be up a while; lieing here w/ music playing and receiving and sending.
5f
Posted by Fivefires on May 18, 2008, at 0:49:07
In reply to Re: Very Much into Suicide.. If anyone can help, posted by Fivefires on May 18, 2008, at 0:23:36
I had to get up because I started to cry ....
If you have a child, do you?
It's knowing your here that's keeping someone alive and able to get up every day.
I'm so sad ... please don't go. I wish you feel what I feel, not the sadness, but the beauty ... I feel it so I know it's here for you to access.
I want to die too because so many bad things have happened around me and I've never been so sick, but some gone before me want to see me again and wouldn't know where to greet me if I choose the time, and some here, for reasons I can't see, think I freakin' walk on water ...
Being alive helps others live, so I'm trying to live for them.
Your being alive is helping me live tonight.
I'll be here and back
l o v e
5f
Posted by Phillipa on May 18, 2008, at 11:57:59
In reply to Re: Very Much into Suicide.. If anyone can help, posted by Fivefires on May 18, 2008, at 0:49:07
Pluto are you there? If so please answer so worried about you. Phillipa
Posted by Pluto on May 18, 2008, at 13:06:25
In reply to Re: Pluto Are You There??????, posted by Phillipa on May 18, 2008, at 11:57:59
> Pluto are you there? If so please answer so worried about you. Phillipa
So many people, phillipa my mom too worried. I don't get this really friends. I am vegetated now, you can't get a coherent reply from me. I checked my stock and gladly found klonopin 2 mg is more there. I took four tabs today, one Ativan 2mg one Xanax 1mg and provigil too. I am half awake while typig. Rigght now my friend came offered me 500 dollars as help, but I refused. I can't pay him back.How do you think you guys can help me? Money? that nevver bothered me. I am on the way to secure my kids life. Loan seems difficult but not impossible. After that, please understand my location and situation. This is a part where one is not going to get any help but will end up in sanatorium for thinking of suicide. At least I am not in Sanatorium so I can do something. I checked many websites. Damn... some offer good ideas but administrator thwarts them from going on. I am not educated. All I acquired is through reading and studying myself. NO certificates to provve I am qualified to do anything. Or else I would have been there in your civilized world where human beings are recognized as human beings.
See friends, I am 35 now. lived my life so far in abject poverty only to raise a family. I am partially successful to get them a house and a small means of living, but within this struggle I lost what I wished most. what is lost is lost. I need a new affair but I am a prisoner. Either I have to live a prisoner of life or I can end this penurious life. which should I prefer? Of course latter. Getting into an affair can wipe out all those meds for sure, because the root of my depression is there. but then what about my wife? kids? who will raise them up? It gets complicated.
Let the klonopin work better, I will write again. What solution you guys offer to this man? I wasn't born depressed, but I acquired it. None loved me in my life. Even my mom who could only scold me whenever she got a chance. NOt her fault, because she was abused by my highly dominant father. I suffered huge traumma after finishing schools. I was a very brilliant student, but father was working for pittance and both couldn't offer anything to go for higher studies. Something broken inside me at that time. I was very much fond of studies. Instead I had to work, worked 14 to 16 hours and without sleeping, I started to read books to get educated myself. This is my story. All these continue but not any more. Books are there untouched. Now in my thirties I am a filthy bastard to look for an affair when my kids are waiting for me. And you guys are sympathetic... strange is this world.
Will you care for a deranged man whose only remedy lays in jeopardizing his family to have an affair? And where is that affair? that too should be found out. All are getting mixed up. adding more confusion. I don't worth your time friends. please... I have given 13 good years to my wife, though she couldn't do it. not her fault because she was not attracted to me from the very beginning. It was a force of circumstance that led me to her, still I gave her my time and if it can be called love yes love too. This is enough. My kids will grow up and I have saved money for that. what more I can do for them?
How can I escape to a p lace where I would be cared? who will accept a layman without anything to prove at least he is educated.? NO friends. please don't waist your time over this man. I have done the mandates of fate. Now naked, alone I am about to knock the uttermost gate to get into a night where there is no tomorrow.
It is not you people kept me alive so far. It was for adjusting a loan. Application is given, and it would soon get sanctioned. Or may be rejected. Either way, I will wait for that too. Couple of days more, then I will get into that night, night without a morrow.
What you good friend will think of me once I disappear? These words of Keats?
"Thou wast not born for death immortal bird"
Posted by Jeroen on May 18, 2008, at 14:34:43
In reply to Re: Pluto Are You There?????? » Phillipa, posted by Pluto on May 18, 2008, at 13:06:25
im in deep sh*t too ... doctors fault, not mine
bad meds making me psychotic and stuff, i understand you, but you have a lot more at stake here like kids and stuff, i think you should reconsider
Posted by Fivefires on May 18, 2008, at 15:47:59
In reply to Re: Pluto Are You There?????? » Phillipa, posted by Pluto on May 18, 2008, at 13:06:25
Prozac down, and off or increase Provigil. Accept friend's $ or use 'college money' see can get diff' doc or meds u need somehow.
I don't think now you are cognitively aware of what you're doing, so you'll probably just screw it up.
Men think all they are here for is money ... or is this just what I'm getting from you?
Where's your heart? Did your mother leave no room in it for your children?
I had a father who didn't care so much about how much $ he made or how much $ it looked like he made ...
He cared about .. WHO HE WAS .. THE KIND OF PERSON HE WAS.
'They' say, ummm, ... a perfect soul is both male and female.
I would give up an arm (I'd give up more!) to have my father back! My mother and I don't understand each other. After he passed away, well I kinda' was completely freakin' IGNORED! Some pp here know 'my heart is broken' and 'well it had been broken a few times before', and I was thinkin' .. I wonder if I have any room left in my heart for anyone or anything anymore.
I think living in the moment is good. I feel my emotional pain is helped by my ... oh well sh*t you don't wanna' hear about me.
I sort of apologize but you are pissin' me off.
Yeah ... my Dad stayed as long as he could. He smoked. I give him that; he enjoyed it.
I wanted him happy. He was 67-y/o four years ago. I miss him so much ... you'd think he were a husband I suppose.
Why did you post here? I'm so glad I'm not you.
5f
Posted by Sigismund on May 18, 2008, at 16:00:52
In reply to Re: Pluto Are You There?????? » Phillipa, posted by Pluto on May 18, 2008, at 13:06:25
They must still teach English where you come from.
I quite like this.......
Fade far away, dissolve, and quite forget
What thou among the leaves hast never known,
The weariness, the fever, and the fret
Here, where men sit and hear each other groan;
Where palsy shakes a few, sad, last grey hairs,
Where youth grows pale, and spectre-thin, and dies;
Where but to think is to be full of sorrow
And leaden-eyed despairs;
Where beauty cannot keep her lustrous eyes,
Or new Love pine at them beyond to-morrow.
Posted by okydoky on May 18, 2008, at 16:13:15
In reply to Re: Pluto Are You There?????? » Pluto, posted by Sigismund on May 18, 2008, at 16:00:52
Beautiful
On a more positive note:
I would not exchange the laughter of my heart
for the fortunes of the multitudes;
nor world I be content with converting my tears,invited by my agonized self, into calm.
It is my fervent hope that my whole life on thisearth will ever be tears and laughter.
Kahlil Gibran
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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]
Script revised: February 4, 2008
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