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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by katia on December 11, 2003, at 15:54:06
In reply to Re: Lamictal weight gain?, posted by jerseydevil on December 11, 2003, at 14:59:52
yes, I agree. I think the culprit is rather pecan pie!
Posted by calicomist on December 11, 2003, at 23:34:55
In reply to Re: Lamictal weight gain? » jerseydevil, posted by katia on December 11, 2003, at 15:54:06
Hi-
I'm so glad I found this board. I am so paranoid about taking any new medicines because of experiences I had in the early 1980's when psychiatrists prescribed drug cocktails...anyone remember those? I had Haldol, Cogentin, Sinequan, Tofranil, Valium, etc. all in one night.
Anyway, I took Dilantin for 20 years. About two years ago, my doc switched me to Depakote. I've had terrible night leg cramps with Depabloat, my hands (arms) start terribly - I can't carry a glass of water across the room without it sloshing completely out of the glass. I can't eat soup, and I'm too self-conscious to eat in public.
I take 1500 mg. of Depakote and my neurologist just started me on 25 mg. of Topamax, to wean me off Depakote and go to Topamax completely in about three months. I have psychomotor seizures and am bipolar, too. I have gained over 100 pounds with Depakote, and have pre-diabetes, so there is a weight concern.
Again, glad to find the page! The postings here have given me the courage to go ahead and take the Topamax dose for tonight.-from calicomist
> yes, I agree. I think the culprit is rather pecan pie!
Posted by jtevers on December 12, 2003, at 15:08:17
In reply to weight gain, Lamictal, Lithium Orotate? » jtevers, posted by katia on December 11, 2003, at 15:06:53
katia, et. al.,
i too have struggled with weight and sleep issues for a couple of years as i harden my determination to get my life back on track after a diagnosis of bipolar and consequencial medication treatment since 2000.
i have been on seroquel, indeed a very sedating antipsychotic, and neurontin, a "mood stabilizer", since my initial treatment and have gained 60 lbs and, like you katia, sleep nearly ll hours per night...both of these side effects to my treatment are unacceptable to a former marathon runner, professional, and student.
i have researched diligently both my condition and its treatment and , although not a doctor, have been , with my doctor, experimenting with different options and look forward to a future where both my weight and sleep time will be normalized ...
i am currently titrating topamax into my med. regimen very slowly. i have read about the harrowing side effects i may experience (the tingling, hair loss, and stupification), but also the weight loss?!? i have read to take a complex vitamin B for the tingling and biotin, selenium and zinc for your hair ... any experience?
i have been on the Atkins Diet for 6 months now and while an initial 30 lbs melted away, despite remaining on "induction" the last 60 lbs to my original weight don't respond at all to diet or exercise ... this neuroleptic-associated weight gain has spurred my topamax trial and research into variable, newer, antipsychotics with less propensity to cause weight gain ... perhaps abilify (i have already tried ziprasidone/geodon).
i know the abilify may cause agitation/akithisia and this can be combatted with amantadine or propanolol ... will i also experience insomnia? help?NOTE: i also understand and would like to bring it too katia's and everyone's attention that i have learned remaining on a high protein diet while taking topamax may exacerbate the formation of kidney stones and drinking a lot of water or, perhaps, postponing the diet are essential.
additionally, i may, in the future, attempt a switch from neurontin to gabatril, a mood stabilizer / anti-anxiety agent with less propensity to cause weight gain...i still suspect that neurontin may be to blame for some of my weight gain despite a lot of evidence to the contrary.
finally, i foresee adding lamictal to my cocktail to achieve the mood-enhancement that doctors once falsely believed would be provided by neurontin.
any advice or insight is GREATLY appreciated.
Posted by bridgey1128 on December 13, 2003, at 21:17:46
In reply to Re: topomax, posted by KLCH on December 8, 2003, at 15:10:11
I am curious. I have been diagnosed as bipolar recently. I SELF diagnosed myself as bipolar II and not just plain manic depressive because I don't fit that category of it. I am a redhead, and if any of you know anyone who is one..you know we have different rules for some odd reason. We feel pain more intensely, we bleed easier and we need more anesthesia. Every single antidepressant I have tried has failed which made me go back to my Dr and tell him.."Look, something ain't right" Then he said.."Hmm well then you might be bipolar" and 2 trips to the psych and here I am Bipolar II. I started on Zyprexa 3 days ago and I have gained 5lbs ALREADY!!!! My Dr said if I had any weight gain to immediately stop and we would try the Topomax. Are there any redheads out there who have experienced this kind of failure with meds? I am just at wits end and I have a husband and 2 kids to take care of. I hate being so angry and irritable all the time and then cry the rest. The only time I have some relief is when I go "manic" when I am around my friends. Then I am happy. Otherwise, it is all I can do to function! The Zyprexa has not worked at ALL. IT has made me MORE depressed and anxious..on top of me gaining a lot of weight rapidly. HELP! Anyone else having weight loss success with Topomax and bipolar II? REDHEADS PLEASE!!
Posted by blondegirl47 on December 14, 2003, at 13:06:08
In reply to neuroleptics... weight sleep and mood?, posted by jtevers on December 12, 2003, at 15:08:17
I too have had a slowing of weight loss on the atkins diet...I have found that I have to watch how much cream cheese and also how much low carb candy I eat. Although I can eat more calories and lose on Atkins, I still have to be watch the amount of calories I take in, especially if I am not exercising. Hope things get better for you. I don't have any experience with the medication you are taking, but I thought I would put my two cents in on the Atkins thing :) Hope it helps
Blondegirl
Posted by katia on December 14, 2003, at 15:29:19
In reply to neuroleptics... weight sleep and mood?, posted by jtevers on December 12, 2003, at 15:08:17
anyone out there on Lamictal get very dizzy and nauseous at 200mg?
I'm so dizzy like an inner ear thing is going on -also my stomach is not feeling well. Everything going right through me in the liquid form...
A queazy nervousness in my stomach...I'm also on 11ish g. of fish oil.
I also started the ATkins Diet four days ago - however I was feeling this before then. It's awful. I constantly feel as if I could throw up. AND NO I'M NOT PREGNANT. A sex life - what's that?
So it could be from one of the above or something else. But it's awful. And I don't think it's a cold or the flu b/c it's been going on for a week now, esp.in the last three days...Atkin's?
How would eliminating carbs do this to me?JTEVERS-- I know you've done the diet. What were the first few days like? Did you experience this sort of thing? For me it's gotten worse since I started the diet, but I was feeling a bit of this last Monday (I was hungover - pre Atkin's Diet - now no more alcohol). I've also found on Lamictal, that hangovers are NO FUN. It's awful. I don't think I'll over indulge again simply from that. It's like someone takes my brain and hides it from me and i develop disassociation feelings and anxiety. Anyone else have a tough time drinking on Lamicta? (I know I shouldn't be drinking at all, but I have to be honest about my experiences).
Anyone have insights, comments???
thanks.
Katia
Posted by headachequeen on December 14, 2003, at 19:20:20
In reply to Re: topomax, posted by bridgey1128 on December 13, 2003, at 21:17:46
> I am curious. I have been diagnosed as bipolar recently. I SELF diagnosed myself as bipolar II and not just plain manic depressive because I don't fit that category of it. I am a redhead, and if any of you know anyone who is one..you know we have different rules for some odd reason. We feel pain more intensely, we bleed easier and we need more anesthesia. Every single antidepressant I have tried has failed which made me go back to my Dr and tell him.."Look, something ain't right" Then he said.."Hmm well then you might be bipolar" and 2 trips to the psych and here I am Bipolar II. I started on Zyprexa 3 days ago and I have gained 5lbs ALREADY!!!! My Dr said if I had any weight gain to immediately stop and we would try the Topomax. Are there any redheads out there who have experienced this kind of failure with meds? I am just at wits end and I have a husband and 2 kids to take care of. I hate being so angry and irritable all the time and then cry the rest. The only time I have some relief is when I go "manic" when I am around my friends. Then I am happy. Otherwise, it is all I can do to function! The Zyprexa has not worked at ALL. IT has made me MORE depressed and anxious..on top of me gaining a lot of weight rapidly. HELP! Anyone else having weight loss success with Topomax and bipolar II? REDHEADS PLEASE!!
first, although I am a redhead, I have to confess that I am not sure what the difference is between bipolar and bipokar II... I was diagnosed as being depressed and the doctor who so diagnosed me began to think I was bipolar because being a creative type when things go really well with my work...either the writing or music, the training, or the photography or whatever, I achieve these incredible CREATED highs... and when things don't go well I reach these incredible CREATED lows... he thought that my seasonal affective disorder was actually bipolar...
as my depression thing grew out of proportion he referred me to a psychiatrist... he had been going to put me on lithium but I had just been diagnosed as being epileptic and apparently lithium and epilepsy do not go well together... thank heaven...
the admitting psychiatrist informed that lithium would have simply eliminated my personality as I was not at all bipolar. She told me I had another sort of disorder, a form of depression and that she suffered with it too, the sort of thing that creative types like myself have to deal with... the so-called artistic temperament.
Apparently I presented a really bizarre and interesting set of symptoms so the head of the service took me on his case load when she admitted me and then told me I was not depressed but was hypo bipolar or something of that sort.... and referred me to a psychologist because of the personality disorder that needed treatment while leaving me on antidepressants...question: if I am not depressed, then why do I need antidepressants??? (zyprexa, effexor, and immovane)
At the time I was on Tegretol about 150 mg a day... and the side effects to that stuff are wild and woolly....
a few months after I was released from hospital I was put on Topomax and worked up to 400 mg a day along with 200 mg of Tegretol....
that is the medication history... oh yeah, I decided one day to stop taking the antidepressants.. if I am not depressed, then why take them, so I threw them away...
I am a redhead... flaming red hair... freckles... fair fair skin with a great tendency to sunburn even in winter... oh yes I am a redhead.... pale blue eyes too (what they call sun-bleached blue...darker on the outside)
redheads have the wildest quirks as you have mentioned....
pain??? we experience with far greater intensity than others... I guess that is in payment for the hair colour????? sigh...
and the lack of a clotting agent in our blood is a real pain in the neck.... the simplest cuts and scratches take forever to stop bleeding....
there is a shortage of calcium too...which contributes to the bleeding factor... my son and I can donate blood in less than a quarter of the time other people can... in fact they have a hard time turning off the supply when the container is filled... we take liquid calcium supplements to try and thicken the blood ...
during teenage years nosebleeds were a way of life... it was nothing unusual to wake up in a lake of blood and have to go to the hospital to get it stopped... a diet of milk shakes for a day or two after that.... cold liquids were always recommended and I always forgot that I was allergic to milk... love chocolate malts LOL.another fringe benefit of being a redhead is the immunity problem... we are born with severely compromised immune systems... most surgeons will tell you that they are warned in residency never to turn their backs on redheads... I have taken as much as eleven months to heal from post-op infections that should never have occurred; mosquito bites turn to cellulitis... it is common to have IV pumps attached to me because I need IV antibiotics for a cut or mosquito bite.. no joke and no hyperbole...
in one case a puncture wound went to cellulitis in 24 hours and to gangrene in 72 hours... I was lucky to have a skilled surgeon available and he saved my hand, possibly my arm, not to mention my finger...
incredible physio therapist was determined that there would be three surgeries and no more and she managed to save the use of my fingers.. I have 85% use of my right hand thanks to her...
being a ref head has its advantages
anonymity is not one of them...
nor is an immune system... or clotting factor... or pain control... I keep ibuprofen in business!!!I can no longer take Tylenol because of the risk to the liver... oh yeah, celtic types with redhair, blue eyes and fair skin are prone to haemachromatosis an over abundance of iron in the blood... the nosebleeds and the inclination of the blood not to clot helps but I really could do without it...
but the topomax is a blessing as one of the side effects is that it helps control migraine... not a migraine since January....I gained weight on Zyprexa... I also gained weight on Tegretol...and had already gained weight because of the depression or whatever... when I am in a down curve I love to eat... it is the comfort food syndrome.. I may not be hungry or even taste what I am eating but I eat anyway...
I have lost sixty pounds or thereabouts...
and while I have had side effects from the topomax and learned here how to cope with them I have had fewer problems with it than with the tegretol... far fewer....
at this point I am not sure what it is but the depression thing is rearing its head... and when I say depression "thing" it is because I am still in the dark...
one psychiatrist says I am depressed with some form that I cannot remember... the other says no I am not depressed I have a personality disorder because of childhood trauma and need psychotherapy... then says I am hypo (I think that was the term it was a year and a half ago) bipolar...
so I guess I am not depressed... I am just feeling moody???? sigh...But topomax is one med that seems to be helping me and doesn't seem to have any of the usual oh you are a redhead results for me... if anything, given the fewer side effects, maybe the redhead thing is working but this time it is a reverse spin?>???
good luck anyway...
kat
Posted by bridgey1128 on December 14, 2003, at 22:17:23
In reply to Lamictal and dizziness? Atkins Diet?, posted by katia on December 14, 2003, at 15:29:19
When I did the Atkins after my son was born I lost 90lbs. My body is addicted to carbs so what happens when you try to break an addiction? You go through withdrawl. For the first 2 weeks when I was on it, I was a total bee-otch. Then it became easier and easier as my body wasn't addicted. I lost 90lbs and it has been the ONLY diet that has EVER worked for me. The normal amount of carbs for "normal" people(what's normal anyway!?) is too much for me. I gain weight. And being a redhead...well...the rules are just different. To Kat, I actually heal really well. I have had 2 c-sections and barely have a scar. But we DO bleed easier. My mom is a dental hygienist and she knows this for a fact. I bleed but I heal well. Maybe because I have hazel eyes instead of blue. ;) My daughter is 2 and has the red hair and blue eyes. She does bleed easier than me and it takes longer to clot.Maybe it's the difference in blue eyes and hazel. I quit taking the Zyprexa and lost a pound overnight. Sheesh!! They need to do a study on redheads and bipolar. Oh and I am not 100% sure, but hypo bipolar I think is the same thing as bipolar II. You get creative and hyper around friends? and depressed alone...too much time to think about negative things!! I am allergic to lots of things too, medically. Zyprexa is for bipolar. I don't think it's used for just depression but I could be wrong. Look up bipolar spectrum on yahoo and I am sure you will find lots of info on it. What we have isn't just "manic depression". There is a whole RANGE of ups and downs in the bipolar spectrum. Just a thought! Thanks for your input too! Give Atkins a chance too. It really works if you can stick with it!
Posted by katia on December 15, 2003, at 1:58:24
In reply to Re: Lamictal and dizziness? Atkins Diet?, posted by bridgey1128 on December 14, 2003, at 22:17:23
Maybe that's what I'm experiencing. w/drawals. Not that I ate that much carbs or sugar anyway.... My diet was almost in line with Atkins. But the diarrhea? (sorry)
I am totally lethargic and depressed too. Who knows what else I have to deal with....
One quick question - After two weeks on Atkins it will be xmas eve and xmas - I plan on splurging and eating whatever and drinking wine. Will this blow the whole thing? (not necessarily weight wise). I need to have a bit of fun too. :-( and wine right now is my best antidepressant.BTW Kat - It does sound like bipolar II.
katia
Posted by bridgey1128 on December 15, 2003, at 8:40:48
In reply to Re: Lamictal and dizziness? » bridgey1128, posted by katia on December 15, 2003, at 1:58:24
You shouldn't have diarrhea with the Atkins that I know of. Are you taking anything else? BTW Alcohol is a DEPRESSANT. You should avoid it, especially if you are on any kind of antidepressant or bipolar med.
Shell
Posted by katia on December 15, 2003, at 14:28:55
In reply to Re: Lamictal and dizziness?, posted by bridgey1128 on December 15, 2003, at 8:40:48
> You shouldn't have diarrhea with the Atkins that I know of. Are you taking anything else? BTW Alcohol is a DEPRESSANT. You should avoid it, especially if you are on any kind of antidepressant or bipolar med.
**OH. IS that sooo? Gee I didn't realize it was an depressant....Yeah I kinda know all this... It's a bit of a trickier web to unweave than just intellectual knowledge of these things. besides for all the years that I didn't know what was wrong with me and not on medication, in a way alcohol saved my life.
Posted by bridgey1128 on December 15, 2003, at 14:39:29
In reply to Re: Lamictal and dizziness? » bridgey1128, posted by katia on December 15, 2003, at 14:28:55
hmmm..I don't know how alcohol could save ones life unless used as an antibiotic for cuts.:P I guess it gave you something to do. But yes, it is a depressant. Alcoholism runs in my family so I don't normally touch the stuff. Rarely do I drink and not more than one or two mixed drinks. I am not on meds right now because I am waiting for my Dr to call my prescription in. I told him up front that I didn't think the Zyprexa would work for me. Sometimes I think Dr's need to listen to what a patient knows about themselves. He DID say he would put me on the Topamax if the Zyprexa made me gain weight or didn't work period. Hmm...guess I was right again!! Maybe I should have been a Dr! Anyhoo, if anyone has yahoo mail my screen name is bridgey1128 so feel free to msg if you would like to talk!
Posted by suji on December 15, 2003, at 15:02:36
In reply to Lamictal and dizziness? Atkins Diet?, posted by katia on December 14, 2003, at 15:29:19
This may seem off the point of the meds discussion--but I was struck by the fact that you mention having had diarrhea for a while...for the past couple of weeks I and the person I live with have been experiencing the "liquid" thing... We aren't taking any of the same meds (and we're not on the Atkin's diet) and we can't figure out WHAT's going...this isn't the sort of thing you generally discuss with people you meet on a daily basis (at work or whatever), so I'm wondering if there's something going around...do you live in the NYC area?? Are other people experiencing this?
suji
Posted by jerseydevil on December 15, 2003, at 15:08:18
In reply to Re: Lamictal and dizziness? Atkins Diet?, posted by suji on December 15, 2003, at 15:02:36
I just seem to have gotten over "the liquid thing" which lasted for a month or so. I mentioned it to my pdoc last vist (a week ago) thinking it was a side effect of my meds. He said try pepto.
Posted by katia on December 15, 2003, at 15:10:28
In reply to Re: Lamictal and dizziness?, posted by bridgey1128 on December 15, 2003, at 14:39:29
Alcohol was my medication. A lot of people have similar experiences. If you haven't had a substance abuse co-morbid disorder then of course you wouldn't understand. About 75% of bipolars have substance abuse disorders. People selfmedicate out of hell however they can. It's not a logical thing. But I'm not really here to make you understand just to offer my experiences.
Posted by katia on December 15, 2003, at 15:12:15
In reply to Re: Lamictal and dizziness? Atkins Diet?, posted by suji on December 15, 2003, at 15:02:36
Hi,
I live in California. And it can't be a "touch of the flu" because you either HAVE it or you don't. Not sure what's going on.....Could be a variety of different things.
good luck in your quest.
Katia
Posted by boonie on December 15, 2003, at 16:11:41
In reply to Re: Lamictal and dizziness? » bridgey1128, posted by katia on December 15, 2003, at 15:10:28
> Alcohol was my medication. A lot of people have similar experiences. If you haven't had a substance abuse co-morbid disorder then of course you wouldn't understand. About 75% of bipolars have substance abuse disorders. People selfmedicate out of hell however they can. It's not a logical thing. But I'm not really here to make you understand just to offer my experiences.
>How come you're jumping all over the poor girl for sharing her stuff, when you're sharing yours? I don't get it. She's just sharing her knowledge cuz not everyone knows alcohol is a depressant. If it makes you feel good, how can it be a depressant????? I get it, but there are lots who don't. Thanks bridgey!!!! :-)
Posted by bridgey1128 on December 15, 2003, at 16:39:10
In reply to Re: Lamictal and dizziness?, posted by boonie on December 15, 2003, at 16:11:41
I wasn't. I was just informing her that it was a depressant so she would avoid it. It may make you feel good while you are drinking, but it's when you sober up that's the problem. I wasn't jumping on her. Sorry if I gave you that impression!
Posted by headachequeen on December 15, 2003, at 17:24:15
In reply to Re: Lamictal and dizziness?, posted by bridgey1128 on December 15, 2003, at 16:39:10
> I wasn't. I was just informing her that it was a depressant so she would avoid it. It may make you feel good while you are drinking, but it's when you sober up that's the problem. I wasn't jumping on her. Sorry if I gave you that impression!
I don't think it was you to whom she is referring but the reply to your post ...
just my impression...
actually, I hadn't considered the fact that alcohol is a depressant, although somewhere in the recesses of my mind I knew that...needed the reminder...
and another of those funny quirks, had a session with my shrink today.. forgot to mention the topomax and tegretol questions I had for him sigh...still doing the compartmentalising thing...
we did talk about that though LOLas we talked, he mentioned that he was surprised that I had not turned to alcohol in an attempt to deal with the issues that led me to need psycotherapy... I assume this means I did something right..
at this point he is suggesting that I return to low doses of antidepressants and see if that helps... perhaps it will need increased dosages along with the psycotherapy to get through this... here we go again... and at some point I will again have to quit taking the stuff...
I asked him what hypo manicdepressive meant if I am not depressed ... still no solid answers...
why on earth does this thing not go away....I am running as fast as I can to keep ahead of it... and he informs there is no use running because it is myself I am running from...
just what I needed to hear...and of course if the meds chosen include zyprexa there goes more weight gain... that and tegretol will make a great Christmas gift...weight I do not want... and I will be really really depressed...
Does anyone else feel like a cat chasing its own tail???
kat
and please someone explain this bipolar II to me... or is that the hypomanicdepressive bit???
and if it is... then someone explain that so it makes sense please....
and does topomax help with that????
Just when I think I am out of the woods, the trees start to get thicker again...
Posted by boonie on December 15, 2003, at 17:30:55
In reply to Re: Lamictal and dizziness?, posted by bridgey1128 on December 15, 2003, at 16:39:10
> I wasn't. I was just informing her that it was a depressant so she would avoid it. It may make you feel good while you are drinking, but it's when you sober up that's the problem. I wasn't jumping on her. Sorry if I gave you that impression!
Not you bridgey. You were the jumpee, not the jumper!! You were giving good info. I, for one, appreciated reading it on here! :-)
Posted by bridgey1128 on December 15, 2003, at 17:51:07
In reply to Re: Lamictal and dizziness? » bridgey1128, posted by headachequeen on December 15, 2003, at 17:24:15
If he has no solid answers for you...You might want to think about switching Dr's. You need a Dr who will be sensitive to unwanted weight gain and a willingness to dig a little and see what combination would work to keep you from gaining. Some Drs add Topamax to other drugs to battle the weight gain. Zyprexa made me gain 5lbs in 3 days! I immediately stopped taking it. I hate to tell you, but if you are bipolar it won't just "go away". It's a disease, just like depression and alcoholism. I wish it just went away. It would make life a whole lot easier!! ;) Easier said than done but just watch the heck out of what you eat if he puts you on those. The weight issue is an uphill battle. Just know that you aren't alone!! It may take a while but you will find a medicine that helps. I will look for a link for bipolarII to maybe help explain a bit and I will post it later.
Posted by katia on December 15, 2003, at 18:02:32
In reply to Re: Lamictal and dizziness?, posted by boonie on December 15, 2003, at 17:30:55
Sorry if I overreacted. Everything feels antagonistic to me today :-( so I probably took it the wrong way - it's my mood today....an agitated horrible mixed state - you know that mood where everything feels cruel and no one understands....and you jump at everything and everything distorted!
Katia
Posted by katia on December 15, 2003, at 18:06:31
In reply to Re: Lamictal and dizziness? » bridgey1128, posted by headachequeen on December 15, 2003, at 17:24:15
Hi kat,
I'm bipolar II/mixed (what I"m experiencing today - a combo of depression and mania at the same time!!! GRRRRR!). It's the worst kind.
You might want to start at www.psycheducation.com to get more info on BPII.
Katia
Posted by bridgey1128 on December 15, 2003, at 21:45:24
In reply to Re: Lamictal and dizziness?, posted by katia on December 15, 2003, at 18:02:32
Don't stress it chick. No harm done. I understand completely. I found a definition for hypomania.
Hypomania (hypomanic episode) is a milder form of mania with less severe symptoms and less overall impairment. For example, the individual may have an elevated mood, feel better than usual, and be more productive. During these episodes patients often feel good--so good, in fact, that they may stop taking their medication.
If you have had severe depression that doesn't sound like hypomania. I would consider another Dr really. Weight affects your physical health as well as we ALL know your mental health. You take antidepressants because you are upset about weight or other things and in turn you gain weight so you will never be undepressed!!! Its a Catch 22 sometimes. Sorry you are going through this and sorry Katia that you are having a hard time. I know what it's like to be constantly pissed off and want to cry at any and everything!
Posted by katia on December 16, 2003, at 5:12:16
In reply to Re: Lamictal and dizziness?, posted by bridgey1128 on December 15, 2003, at 21:45:24
> Don't stress it chick. No harm done. I understand completely. I found a definition for hypomania.
>> Sorry you are going through this and sorry Katia that you are having a hard time. I know what it's like to be constantly pissed off and want to cry at any and everything!
HI Bridgey-
You have no idea how much this means to me now. I've had one of those days where everyone was mean to me! And it just got worse from when I reacted to you. AFter that I went to my therapist and cried, ranted and RAVED for 50mins. She even wanted to have me call my pdoc to put me on Lithium or somethiing! I worked tonight and it's just been one thing after another. And I so appreciated your support here. I can't explain what is happening to me....I'm losing it completely and spiraling out of reality. At one point tonight I thought - ok, well nothing left but suicide. And then I thought - "chuck the ATkins diet and have a glass of wine if it means something that will save you from yourself". And the combo with the resignation that I would end it and then the fact that I had something else (the glass of wine)(and I'm not even a big drinker) or not even that glass of wine. just the thought and plan (but no action ) of suicide helps me to actually live more? does that make sense to anyone? Once I decide I'd had enough and started planning a suicide, then suddenly things got lighter....it's odd. Mixed states are when suicides happen the most. it's awful. it's like you're in that backwash of water going back out to sea. you have no idea where to take stand - I feel like a wild animal has gotten loose and is banging up against the insides of my mind - I feel out of control with emotion and I'm scared.
I don't know what to do. And all I know for this board is I"m glad no one else was mean to me today. all I seek is support.
katia
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