![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 4660 to 4684 of 10407. Go back in thread:
Posted by zinya on July 21, 2003, at 12:15:41
In reply to Re: to Suzy, personal, re local referral » Susy, posted by mercedes on July 20, 2003, at 1:57:58
hi Mercedes,
i feel a bit of time warp, a sort of mini-Rip van Winkle... Seems like the site has been suddenly as busy as ever and i didn't keep up at all over the weekend...
Thanks so much for all this info. I'd never heard of Mobbing either... Reading the description brings to mind a couple of personal situations of my own that this resonated with ... I think your advice to Susy is very well taken.
My sense is that you, Susy, like so many of us (and i do think women more than men) are socialized to adopt what is also called a "co-dependent" kind of pattern where we tend first and foremost to think relationship maintenance is our responsibility and we can often much too readily bend ourselves to try to suit others' needs in ways that wind up being very counterproductive. Learning to know our own boundaries and to listen to those inner voices in us which start gnashing when we feel in our gut that we're being exploited or harrassed or disrespected, and to draw lines in the sand -- by just speaking out ... without feeling a need to explain ourselves so much (Paula, my bereavement counselor, in fact is very very helpful at reminding me how much i need to realize still that it's okay and sometimes better to NOT add explanations to why something is not okay with us, cuz then people pick those explanations apart, or try to, and just open us to more stress and sense of vulnerability.) It's a lifelong task, i think, to sort out such things for all of us. I do think children need to hear explanations for why they are allowed or not allowed to do things. But in our dealings with adults, like Susy's situation now with the Mean Manager (MM), your suggestions seem very wise. Sometimes the most effective thing we can do is just say the equivalent of "I don't like that." Period. No ands, if, buts, explanations, just stating without counterattack or self-defense either, just "I don't like that." I confess that's a VERY hard thing for me to do. I'm chronically feeling a need to explain myself.
again, thanks so much for sharing this info
hoping you're feeling gradually better and better in recovering from that last attack,
hugs and love,
zinya
Posted by zinya on July 21, 2003, at 12:26:12
In reply to Re: Hey Zinya..it's Willie, posted by willie on July 20, 2003, at 15:54:06
hi Willie,
i'm still not sure if Effexor is for me. I have one more night at 100 and then i'm going to make the leap, i guess, to 150 starting tomorrow night. Given the reasons my md. prescribed it for me, i think it's getting to the 150 level that will finally tell me just how much this is the "remedy" my body needs. For me, it's my completely depleted adrenal system even more (and compounding) the depression and anxiety which is why i'm on this drug, and just hoping very much that it works. That's why i've gone twice as slow on it as everyone else cuz i so much don't want to have bad side effects which force me to quit as has happened with every other a-d i've ever tried.
I have easily bruised all my life (it apparently has to do with platelet counts and mine tend to be on the low side but not so low that it's ever been critical), so i haven't noticed anything more than usual for me.
how are you doing?
zinya
Posted by zinya on July 21, 2003, at 12:37:14
In reply to Re: re: dividing granules,Rx to Dr. Bob and/or » zinya, posted by noa on July 20, 2003, at 17:22:39
hi noa,
thanks for responding again... I recognized your moniker but from quite a while ago, not recently, and i wasn't sure if maybe you were a monitor... I much appreciate your input and i guess it's finalizes my decision to try a big leap after i take my last 100 mg dose i'd already divvied up before getting your previous post, which will be tonight. So tomorrow night i'll gulp :) and take the leap to 150.
I've never before advanced at even a 37.5 level. Because i'd had such bad side effects on all previous a-d's I'd tried, I had read here before i started that somebody said you could divide up the granules, so i'd confirmed that with the pharmacist and so i started with HALF of a 37.5 (19mg) and even then, and on a full stomach, etc., the next morning i awoke with nausea and other side effects, so i was glad i hadn't taken a full 37.5 even. The side effects were mild enough that i could manage them, so i stayed at each level at least a week and sometimes more, waiting at least until any side effects subsided (except that i now have such chronic excess sweating that it is the one side effect which never really goes away). (Plus it must have lowered my metabolism cuz i'm sure i'm not eating as much but my weight is staying constant.)
I started at 19 at the end of May, then went up to 37.5, then to 56, then 75, and now 100 for the past week.
What level are you on? How long have you been taking Effexor and what effects pro and con have you been getting?
thanks again for your very helpful input.
zinya
> Z-
>
> No, I'm not a monitor here. And, actually, I have not had my observation confirmed by anyone "in the know". It is simply an observation I made. I probably should have qualified my comments to that effect.
>
> I don't know about what dose kicks in the norepinephrine action. But there are lots of folks here who know about the chemical actions of the medications. Try starting a new thread asking that specific question. Maybe address it to SLS or Larry Hoover or St. James, to name a few of the people who seem to have a lot of knowledge.
>
> What dose are you on now? Does increasing by increments of 37.5 affect you too strongly?
Posted by zinya on July 21, 2003, at 12:48:08
In reply to Re: re: dividing granules,Rx to Dr. Bob and/or » zinya, posted by noa on July 20, 2003, at 17:22:39
Greetings to any or all of you,
noa suggested i write a post to your attention to ask any of you what you could tell me about when and how Effexor supposedly begins to affect norepinephrine (adrenal system) levels.
When I first started reading here a few months ago, at least one poster on the board here said that it's only at 150 mg that the second-system effects begin, on the norepinephrine / adrenal system.
I wrote a post once to Dr. Bob for confirmation but a monitor answered saying I'd have to get the answers in "the monograph" allegedly somewhere on the site but I couldn't find a monograph. I wrote back asking for a site address and never got an answer. Do you know where this monograph is? Or could you say more about when and how the adrenal system effects "kick in"?
If I understand from the PDI which I finally got yesterday from the pharmacy, 92% of each dosage goes toward serotonin and only 8% toward norepinephrine. So would that mean that it takes getting up to 150 mg before that 8% becomes a sizeable enough amount to start showing a major effect? And, from what it also says, it's sounds like there's some metabolizing catalyst factor (called CYP2D6) (!?!?) that varies in each of us which could impact somewhat (?) how much each of us might need to take in order to reach that same degree of effectiveness for the norepinephrine 8% ?? Would that be an accurate conclusion to draw?
The impression I'm getting is that perhaps, like everything else with these drugs, the effect probably varies by person and it wouldn't necessarily be at 150mg for each person that the norep. levels would start feeling significant effect.
Anyway, that's my set of questions. Could you offer any knowledge you have about this?
thanks very much,
zinya
Posted by Susy on July 21, 2003, at 12:55:43
In reply to Re: to Susy, personal, re local referral » Susy, posted by zinya on July 21, 2003, at 11:52:29
Hi, Zinya, sorry about the "you know everything"
please try to understand that my words in English are very few and I use only the ones I know.
Maybe also the translation doesn't help.
I am very greatful with all you guys for all the support I have received here. So please, be patient with my english mistakes, and let me learn and share more with you.
Mercedes, thanks again, yes, this Dr. told me that there is a lot of people suffering of Post Traumatic Disorder and it is not easy to get rid of it due to the Mobbing they have to cope with.
At least it is good to know where everything comes from. I do have a lot of mental issues to deal with, I told you guys before my mother suffered Maniac-Depression episodes.
I was a full alcoholic for more than 2 years also and I cut it out myself, believe me; it was very hard to do it.
I also have this fobia towards meds due to one thing that happen to me like 12 years ago when I went out with this guy who put an LSD in my drink.
So,I don't feel like taking new medicines or drinking things that I don't open, because I am affraid to feel the same thing again. I always fear to loose control like it happened that night.
It would have help me to have love and security around. But instead I have this neurotic boyfriend, and this neighbor full of hate.
Well, when I started having this panic attacks I had them just twice a year and I could control them. Sadly, not anymore. And they are more frequent now.
Anyways, I have been very sad, nervous and with a
general lack of energy. But I promise I will do my best to feel everyday better.
Thanks again for your understanding and support.
Love, Susy
Posted by zinya on July 21, 2003, at 13:21:02
In reply to Re: speaking of tuna, posted by Susy on July 20, 2003, at 23:10:42
hola Susy, and anyone else,
gosh, it sounds wonderful that you had a night that even included dancing! I can imagine -- with my own kind of nostalgia -- what that meant to you.
I'm wondering if you and others here too have found that this kind of depression causes you to actually avoid music? I am someone who loves, loves, loves music... For more often than not in my life, my place is filled with music, and I have loved to dance all my life, I even samba-ed in Carnaval when i lived in Brazil... I would love nothing more than to put Brazilian samba on the stereo to accompany me as i would prepare meals for guests of the kind that involve starting hours in advance...
But when i get depressed, and this means for the past year solidly, I don't even turn music on on the radio. I tend to find it almost "oppressive" for some reason. I listen to talk radio like NPR in the car, i have TV on at home but i don't even listen to my stereo. If I occasionally try it, i just don't feel what i associate feeling with music. And perhaps it's to keep myself from being reminded of what's "missing" that i just avoid it.
I did go out with friends to dinner last night and driving home there was nothing but music on any of the radio stations and found myself thinking about this as i tried to find "talk" instead, and thought how odd this was given how much i LOVE music. And I thought of it being summer and how much i always would go to the Hollywood Bowl or some such concert at least once every summer, but i can't imagine doing so now. It would feel like going through the motions and i would just feel the lack of enthusiasm that i wouldn't spontaneously have.
Has anyone else experienced this with their depression? I crave the day that i will thirst for music again. It will be such a sign to me that i'm "over the hill"... Does anyone else know what i'm talking about or had such feelings?
Susy, as to your "missing" your "ex," I guess what i would encourage you to do is ask yourself if your nostalgia is based on yearning to be in love and feel loved rather than for your "ex" per se. Given how he treated you so disrespectfully, I think it's soooo important for your recovery of self-confidence to remind yourself when such "missing" moments come back that when he was there, you also were "missing" -- missing yourself, your internal peace of mind and heart...
A dear dear friend who was like a second father to me once told me something i wished i'd heard when i was first starting to date. He had told his daughters at that age that, as they began to date, what he hoped for them was that when they came home from a date or when they were alone again, they would ask themselves NOT the classic romantic questions of pop music like "Will he love me?" etc. but instead to ask them to think about how they felt about themselves after being with him, whether they came away feeling happy to be who they are as they are, not wanting to change something to try to please the guy but feeling very happy with being themselves and being appreciated for who they already are.
I think that advice is golden for everyone, male and female, as a way of perceiving whether we are in a good relationship or not -- same with friends as with romantic relationships. (Same with parents and children too actually -- and that's where i think the pattern begins. If we grow up feeling not so good about ourselves because of things our parents say to us, then we start to associate love with not feeling good about ourselves or trying to please others, and then we get so easily confused and wind up confusing a need to please another person with a notion that that is "love").
well, those are my 2c for the day. I get too exhausted after reading and rsponding to a few posts so i'm going to exit for a while and try to catch up more later...
love and hugs,
zinya
Posted by willie on July 21, 2003, at 13:26:07
In reply to Re: Hey Zinya..it's Willie » willie, posted by zinya on July 21, 2003, at 12:26:12
Hi Zinya...I'm doing pretty well. I pick up my prescription refill this week. I think I'll see how I do the next month before contacting my doctor about the possibility of dosage increase.
Like you sometimes I can go down a few pounds but it always comes back up. This of course makes me frustrated and I'll eat junk food because I can't lose the weight eating healthy. I know it's not the answer but if I'm going to weigh like those are my regular eating habits I might as well enjoy the food from time to time.
I'm not sure of the dosage of effexor you started off at. There are sooooo many postings on this site that one can only go back so far to read someone else's story. Did you begin at 37.5? If so, what was it like to go to 75? Do you have these vivid dreams that I read about in other people's postings?
You state that 150mg is the defining factor to see whether or not this drug will be effective for you. Have you noticed any improvement since you've started? May I ask how your adrenal system became depleted? Due to physical illness or emotional stress? Please forgive me if I'm being too personal...you need not answer that question if you don't want to.
Both you and Mercedes share so much with the people who post on this site. It's so nice to speak with others who can relate to what you're saying.
Well...I wish you the best of luck with the transitional period from 100 to 150mg. I hope this dosage is what you need. I'll be most anxious (no pun intended) to see how you respond to the new dosage. My thoughts will be with you...Willie
Posted by mercedes on July 21, 2003, at 13:30:51
In reply to Re: to Susy, personal, re local referral » Susy, posted by zinya on July 21, 2003, at 11:52:29
Zinya, regarding the "know about everything" comment Susy made. Take the compliment and run with it girl. One thing that I learned about co-depependents, is that it's hard for us to take compliments because we haven't thought about ourselves in such a long time.
Susy, I heard what you meant. Zinya has helped you so much with her knowledge and you were complimenting her. Zinya went the extra mile to help you with the counselor. That's why I included you, Z, in my original post to Susy.
Zinya, you don't come accross as a "know it all". The information you provide may be helpful to some and maybe not to others. We have a choice to read it or not to. I happen to read all the posts.....I'm addicted to this site, he he.
I personally want to reach into this computer and give you both a big hug. Losing your mom, having to deal with the house, I've been there and I still have boxes to unpack which are still in the garage. I moved last Sept. It's going to be a year and you know what, I'll get to it when I "feel" like it or when I'm "mentally healthy" enough. That's my attitude. Life is too short to waste being critical of ourselves. We've had a lifetime of people criticizing us. At least I have. NO MAS !
((((Hugs)))
Mercedes
Posted by CherC68 on July 21, 2003, at 13:45:35
In reply to Re: speaking of tuna, posted by Susy on July 20, 2003, at 23:10:42
Susy, you are probably right.
I'm not on any medication anymore but an occasional xanax and its been almost 3 years since the last time I tried to commit suicide.
I came to Babble because I was on Effexor and wanted to learn about it. I have had anxiety attacks and depression since I was four years old - and no matter what is going on in my life I'm not happy anyway, so I just try to deal with it.
It's been almost 20 years since I was raped by the two guys and I only have one panic attack a day instead of 4 or 5.
Its already been 7 years since I was married and used to get an occasional beating by my ex-husband.
I've had almost 4 years to get over having uteran cancer.
I've had 26 years since my best friend, my cousin Dale was killed in a car accident and 33 years since my two little best friends died in the fire next door to my house and my house caught on fire
BUT....I can't seem to get over these things, on top of the pain in my hands.
Thursday my town had something a micro burst tornados, etc. and its been declared a disaster area - but...we will get no help by insurance company or the governmen. WE lost a lot of material things, which is no biggie, but it was hard work.
My husband and son are gone until Wed and last night we had a storm and the water in my basement is up to my knees. I had power at least and my dog here for company but our sump pump broke and now i'm flooded and have nobody right now to help, so I'm tired and thought i'd catch up on posts in between bailing out the water.
Sorry about complaining when I know so many other people on here are having a worse time and worse things going on in there life, so the reason I was on here was because I thought I found some people that understood things I was going through.
The thoughts I have are way too crazy for Babble, its to the point I need to probably check in, having a house and husband and child even though they love you, doesn't always help.
I hope you do well Susy and everyone thanks for listening again.
Hugs, Cher
Posted by melley on July 21, 2003, at 13:59:11
In reply to Effexor to Lexapro? » bookgurl99, posted by KimberlyDi on July 21, 2003, at 10:04:21
> I was going to switch to Lexapro until I started tapering off the Effexor. I immediately missed the relief from anxiety and decided to stick with Effexor, which apparently is working for me. I wasn't willing to leave a good thing for a month-long ordeal to wait for Lexapro to kick in, if it even would work for me.
>
> But that's my individual experience.
>I have heard a few other things about lexapro. I am now completely off everything but will have to decide in a month what to go on. Lexapro sounds like it could be more side effect free.
mel
> Keep us posted on what you do. KDi in Texas
>
> > > Are you planning on staying with 37.5mg, is this what your doctor prescribed? I'm curious because my doctor prescribed me a low dose, 37.5mg for mild anxiety. I've been taking it for about 3 weeks now and the sleepy dizzy feeling went away for me in about 2 weeks. The reason I'm so curious is because 37.5mg is usually what you start with for 5 days and then go to 75mg. I would like to know what input you got from your doctor about taking just 37.5mg for anxiety.
> >
> > Theo,
> >
> > My dr. is planning to bump me up to 70 mgs after I get used to the 37.5 mgs. I'm tempted to quit it for Lexapro, though.
> >
> > books
>
>
Posted by mercedes on July 21, 2003, at 14:05:04
In reply to more on BAM » mercedes, posted by bookgurl99 on July 20, 2003, at 14:23:58
Books, I didn't mean to sound like you should go off effexor. Hope you spoke to your doc first. Anyway, how you doing on Lexapro. Reason I ask is that I have a sample packet my pdoc prescribed for me and haven't taken it yet, scared to mix. Actually I did take half of a 10 mg. tablet on two nights. This is when my head was hurting so much after my attack that I felt like it increased my headache. I see my pdoc today and will confess that I didn't follow up on taking lex.
Most important I want to ask him about BAM, see if he's heard about it. I've printed out some info from the site you gave me. I will let you know.
I wish we could talk more about BAM thru email as it is not necessarily related to effexor. Also, I can't seem to grasp posting to the Forum 2000 site yet. Maybe you have some tips. My email address is [email protected]. I also relate to feelings of not being as smart as I used to be. I think this is BAM related, not anx. PTSD or Dep.
pls write,
mercedes> Hi Mercedes,
>
> Thanks for cluing me in. I stopped taking the Effexor today. I am feeling a little better. It's fascinating; it stopped my daily optical migraines cold but seemed to have allowed or provoked BAMS -- or maybe the stress I'm having over it would have overridden anything. But, I'm better off the Effexor.
>
> Oh, well.
>
> I'm going to try Lexapro. My dr. wants me to try Depakote, but I am freaked out about Depakote and feeling drugged. I will give Lex a good two weeks before throwing in the towel.
>
> I'm also going to ask if I can try an oxygen condenser to prevent damage during the attacks. (The dr. said he would not call it 'damage,' but it feels like damage, no?)
>
> The good thing is, I'm seeing a sleep clinic dr. for possible sleep apnea in August. So, if I get dx'd with that, I may be able to get insurance to pay for an oxygen condenser for apnea, and then use it during the migraine attacks.
>
> Right now I feel like my big challenge is not getting so stressed out that I make myself sick. I'm trying to change my life, but my anxiety level is so high I'm almost paralyzed to act.
>
Posted by willie on July 21, 2003, at 14:05:34
In reply to Re: Babble » Susy, posted by CherC68 on July 21, 2003, at 13:45:35
Hi Cher..I just read your posting. I'm sorry to hear everything you've been through. Sometimes you must wonder if God is testing you to see how strong you can be.
How long have you been on Effexor? What dosage are you on? Are you getting councelling?You said sometimes the love of your husband and son are not enough. It may be because you don't love yourself so you feel that no one could possibly love you. Something I picked up in my councelling.
My heart goes out to you Cher. We are all here for you (although I bet you'd rather we were all there for you with a few extra buckets....I hope that made you smile a bit). If we could be there a lot of us would be.
I'll be watching for your postings to see how you are..
My thoughts are with you...Willie
Posted by CherC68 on July 21, 2003, at 14:26:19
In reply to Re: Hey Cher, posted by willie on July 21, 2003, at 14:05:34
Thanks Willie, If I could stop crying long enough to take some xanax i would. I am not on effexor xr any longer - I couldn't handle the side effects.
The sun was out - my basement water is down to my ankles and another storm is coming in and its lightening out right now - it took 10 minutes to roll in - I'm so hating Illinois right now.
By the time my husband and son come back the water will be up to the next floor if it rains too much anymore.
Must go - we have no sump pump and no money for one so I am have to bucket out into the street.
Thanks for your kind words.
Hugs, Cher
Posted by mercedes on July 21, 2003, at 14:37:14
In reply to Re: Babble » Susy, posted by CherC68 on July 21, 2003, at 13:45:35
Cher, I can't imagine what you are going through. I just managed to vacume yesterday and that was a chore in itself. I too wish I had my bucket there to help you too, like Willie.
I'm glad you shared a little about yourself. I've been wanting to ask you, but didn't know how to ask you. I know it's painful to bring all those memories out but as for me, it's helping to share with all the babbler's here. And the responses are so helpful.
I want you to continue to write as long as it's not too painful on your hands. You are my inspiration to keep on going and eventually off med's altogether, which is where you are now. If I ever get off meds., I'd like to continue helping others that are going through what I went through/going through.
I remember my first therapist saying to me "You'll get through it but you probably won't ever get over it". I thought then, "then why am I here?" But I have found it to be true. That's why we are survivors.
I still can't imagine you there alone, being flooded and how you're coping. Keep us updated ok. Guess I shouldn't complain about the dry heat here....over 100 degrees these past couple weeks.
Take care,
mercedes
Posted by JME on July 21, 2003, at 14:41:49
In reply to Re: Effexor to Lexapro? » KimberlyDi, posted by melley on July 21, 2003, at 13:59:11
I'm a 39 year old male who doesn't remember a life without being depressed. After years of dealing with my problem through isolation, I finally sought help after my depression became so bad while dealing with the break up of a long term relationship.I started out with Lexipro in Febuary and saw some improvement. However I had horrible sexual side effects, it was almost impossible to ejaculate, and then after a minimal relief the Lexipro became less and less effective. My doctor then put me on Wellbutrin SR, and began to wean me off of the Lexipro. After about 4 weeks I stopped the Lexipro and went up to a dose of 300mg of the Wellbutrin. Within two weeks I became severly depressed and began entertaining thoughts of suicide. I went this morning and my doctor gave me a start up pack of Effexor XR. I'm starting with the small dose while continuing the Wellbutrin at a smaller dose, 150mg once a day. I only hope and pray that Effexor gives me the relief I so badly seek.
Posted by willie on July 21, 2003, at 14:58:41
In reply to Re: Starting Effexor , posted by JME on July 21, 2003, at 14:41:49
Hey JME...just wanted to let you know that I experienced some sexual disfunction when I first began taking effexor. Don't get too frustrated okay? It took about 4 weeks for me to have sexual sensation and even then it took a long time to experience an orgasm. It was probably around 6 weeks before I was back to where I was in that respect.Give it some time as I'm sure it differs for everyone and pending on the dosage you're on. Keep talking to us all...we'll do what we can to help you through it.
Take care...Willie
Posted by mercedes on July 21, 2003, at 15:01:45
In reply to Re: speaking of tuna, posted by Susy on July 20, 2003, at 23:10:42
Cher....yea, when I read the comment, I too thought it was odd. As S has said before, her english is not too good. I beleive what she meant was that after all the things you are going through, flood, bailing water, pain in your hands, she couldn't believe how you had the energy or should I say, "caring" enough to still try helping others on pbabble.
I'm bilingual english/spanish and know how easily one can say one thing but mean another. My first language was spanish. Didn't start english till kindergarten yet was born in the USA.
I'm glad for one thing though, it made you talk about yourself and what you have gone through which as I said in previous note, I was afraid to ask you. So keep on babbling!!!! Our ears/eyes are waiting.
Luv & support to all!
mercedes
Posted by zinya on July 21, 2003, at 15:27:47
In reply to Re: to Zinya Susy » zinya, posted by mercedes on July 21, 2003, at 13:30:51
Hi Mercedes and Susy,
thanks for your responses. I didn't want to assume one way or the other but just wanted to make sure that i hadn't come across wrong, and i'm grateful to hear you don't hear me that way. It's not just a potentially ambiguous comment like that but it can sometimes just be something inside me (like if/when no one responds to a post, say) which sometimes makes me a bit paranoid, worried that i've come across too strong or offensive. That 'voice' in me isn't dominant but it *is* there and especially if i'm in a down phase, it can rear its head and make me wonder. I didn't really think Susy meant that -- because heavens you've been so gracious, Susy -- but just wanted to make sure.
Mercedes is right in that sense that i can not be sure or comfortable with how others are perceiving me until much much time has passed. I have a handful of friends who are so precious they are like soulmate sisters (and at times in my life, soulmate brothers too) with whom i have no such qualms, we understand each other implicitly and fully. But i've had many times in my life of being so misunderstood or misrepresented that there is a kernel that lingers of uncertainty.
I totally agree with everything you say, mercedes, and i try to apply that but it is often an 'easier said than done' kind of thing.
Anyway, not wanting to belabor this more than is warranted, but thanking you for your reassurances, both of you. I know that when i write, i tend to write rather "fully" what's in my mind/heart and it makes for posts that i'm sure are too long for some, which is okay, as you say.
{{{{{{hugs back to you both}}}}}}}
> Zinya, regarding the "know about everything" comment Susy made. Take the compliment and run with it girl. One thing that I learned about co-depependents, is that it's hard for us to take compliments because we haven't thought about ourselves in such a long time.
>
> Susy, I heard what you meant. Zinya has helped you so much with her knowledge and you were complimenting her. Zinya went the extra mile to help you with the counselor. That's why I included you, Z, in my original post to Susy.
>
> Zinya, you don't come accross as a "know it all". The information you provide may be helpful to some and maybe not to others. We have a choice to read it or not to. I happen to read all the posts.....I'm addicted to this site, he he.
>
> I personally want to reach into this computer and give you both a big hug. Losing your mom, having to deal with the house, I've been there and I still have boxes to unpack which are still in the garage. I moved last Sept. It's going to be a year and you know what, I'll get to it when I "feel" like it or when I'm "mentally healthy" enough. That's my attitude. Life is too short to waste being critical of ourselves. We've had a lifetime of people criticizing us. At least I have. NO MAS !
>
> ((((Hugs)))
> Mercedes
>
Posted by KimberlyDi on July 21, 2003, at 15:31:50
In reply to Re: PLEASE GIVE ADVICE, posted by Susy on July 21, 2003, at 9:58:55
It almost makes me laugh when someone refers to me as strong. Me? I was hospitalized the summer of 2002, and hospitalized twice before that. My road to recovery has been a long one. I feel that my entire 20's and early 30's were wasted. If I were to have a AD political platform of sorts, it would be simple. 2 things: 1) depression is a life-threatening disease, hit it with everything you can. AD's, doctors, therapy, support groups, psycho-babble and family/friends. 2) be pro-active in your treatment. All great journey's begin with a single step. Be it a single to-do item on a list, or a mental determination that "making my bed this morning" is my first step to taking back my life. This worked for me, when I was jobless, homeless, and about to lose custody of my son. I've been there. Suicidal and overwhelmed, feeling like I was worth less than dogpoop.
I made the most achievement during 13 years of failures in the past few months. Thanks to Effexor. So I'm not strong. I'm just extremely lucky to be alive and content. So please forgive me if I get overzealous in my posts. Some of those posts make me cry. I want to rip off those "depression blinders" and point to the top of the hill. I made it to the top, you can too. It may just be a rest stop, before another climb begins, but it will get better.
However long their battle takes, I wish EVERYONE the best.
KDi in Texas
> Hi KDI in Texas, I was reading your post, and I think that you are very healthy. I mean, if you do want to get out of your house and work or do a lot of other things is because you feel you have the strenght to do them! For most of us, it is the opposite, I don't know if you understand this, but when you feel depressed and you have to deal with anxiety everyday you start having a lack of energy and litle by litle the only one thing you feel comfortable with is staying home.
> I am still trying to find out how did I do before to take care of my kids,clean my home, cook, and still work, because that is what I did for 18 years. Now, living with this anxiety; sometimes it is a big deal even to go to the beach with them.
> If you have everything you need to make it, go ahead and make it! Hire a babysitter, and find a job you like, or volunteer in programs, maybe that is exactly what you need to feel yourself again. Hugs, Susy
Posted by zinya on July 21, 2003, at 15:41:41
In reply to Re: Babble » Susy, posted by CherC68 on July 21, 2003, at 13:45:35
Ohhhhhh, Cher!!
NOOO. You BELONG here each and every time you can rally your hands and your spirits to write. I only miss not hearing from you more, but I know you have to monitor how much and how often you write, and I don't want you hurting yourself on our behalf. But please know how much we want to hear from you when you can.
I think Susy just meant she couldn't imagine how you have the energy you *do* manage somehow to conjure up with all that you are coping with... And now to learn these horrible consequences of tornadoes and storms to boot. Cher, my heart goes out to you. Dear Cher... My gosh... You are incredibly brave.
But I know (i think, or i have a sense) that you must be feeling TOTALLY overwhelmed and probably not feeling brave at all. If I were you, I'd not only be wanting to just sit down and cry (if it didn't mean being soaked to my waist!)...
Cher, please know that i'm here anytime you want to talk as well... There are no words really for wanting to convey to you just how much my thoughts and feelings are with you, how important you are to us here, and how much i'm hugging you through cyberspace...
love and {{{{bear hugs}}}}
zinya
Posted by catwomen on July 21, 2003, at 15:53:27
In reply to Re: Babble » CherC68, posted by zinya on July 21, 2003, at 15:41:41
I am considering going off my effexor xr because me and my husband want to have a baby. I am scared to death of the withdrawl. I tried one time and could not take the anxiety.
Posted by KimberlyDi on July 21, 2003, at 16:03:20
In reply to Are we all Pleasers w/men who are Controllers?, posted by Yankeegirl on July 21, 2003, at 11:05:37
YankeeGirl,
You seem remarkably self-aware of what's bothering you for someone that hasn't been to counseling yet. That's a plus. I am with a Controlling man. We work together, carpool together, live together, sleep together. I insist on taking my baths alone. My husband was the main force driving me to treatment. Fear. The weaker I am, the more abusive he gets. I had to get my act together to protect myself. He's not sure what to think about the new me.
KDi in Texas> I've been on Effexor for about 4 weeks, but haven't had any counseling from the physchiatrist yet, and I go over the phych testing tomorrow, so I haven't had a chance to talk about my issues yet. When my child graduated high school in 2000 I thought "now I'll have more time to..." and I could not remember for the life of me what it was I used to like to do. Last month my baby graduated and I think my reaction was "I spent 24 years raising them, did a great job in spite of how stressful and overwhelming it was, and now can collapse. One afternoon, I was distraught and agonizing and crying over the thought of having to make dinner. When I added that to the realization that I had no identity anymore, that I had gradually given up pieces of myself to make my husband happy, who critized everything I ever did, that is when I realized I needed help. I've been reading a book by Dr. Kevin Leman called "The Pleasers - Women Who Can't Say No - And the Men Who Control Them (sorry Dr. Bob I don't know how to do that highlighting thing). This post is long enough without going into more details. I'm wondering ---- how many of you see yourselves in this same situation with a controlling man????? Yankeegirl
Posted by KimberlyDi on July 21, 2003, at 16:21:33
In reply to Re: Hey Willie...thanks for sharing » willie, posted by mercedes on July 21, 2003, at 12:04:30
Co-dependents anonymous is a wonderful group (when you can find them). Except my husband doesn't like me to go because he's afraid they are teaching me to "not need him". It's about defining yourself, without being a chameleon to your significant other. Setting boundaries, to know you have the right to say "no" when you are uncomfortable. Teaching you how to express your needs and wants instead of suffering in silence. I've heard that Al-Anon is very close to the same. Alot of us are caregivers to others without ever taking care of ourselves.
Sorry for rambling! I'm a posting fool today.
KDi in Texas
Posted by Susy on July 21, 2003, at 17:27:42
In reply to Re: Babble » Susy, posted by CherC68 on July 21, 2003, at 13:45:35
Oh God, I don't know where to begin.....it is not just to know the words in english but how to put them together hu?
I will ask you all to plese be patient with me, I am very happy at he babble, but I see I am causing some misunderstandings for the way I explain the things.....I am so sorry for that.
Zinya, for us, in my language, when we ask somebody for something we don't have any clue about...we say, oh, tell me, you know everything about this, or that,....meaning and I don't, so please help me understand......another mistake I make it is that sometimes I am in a hurry and that day I was very excited about my new findings with the Dr., and believe me Zinya you were the first person who came to my mind to tell the news.
Cher, once again, trying to make it short when I wrote what I was trying to say it was that right now I can not do not even the half of what you do;
it was a kind of a compliment for your courage, your words have always helped me since I am on the Babble.
So once again, sorry for the misunderstandings.
I am going to try to be more clear even if I have to write more =)
I love you girlsSusy (Yeaph, from Spain, like Antonio Banderas )
Posted by Dr. Bob on July 21, 2003, at 17:38:51
In reply to Are we all Pleasers w/men who are Controllers?, posted by Yankeegirl on July 21, 2003, at 11:05:37
> I've been reading a book by Dr. Kevin Leman called "The Pleasers - Women Who Can't Say No - And the Men Who Control Them (sorry Dr. Bob I don't know how to do that highlighting thing).
How to do the highlighting thing:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#amazon
Thanks! :-)
Bob
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