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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by zinya on July 14, 2003, at 17:16:20
In reply to Re: To Suzy re: xanex....Zinya can u also help?, posted by Susy on July 14, 2003, at 15:48:04
Hola again Suzy,
As you share more elements of what you are dealing with -- and I think you mentioned in an earlier post that you have children here as well, isn't that right? -- I have the sense now from you've said that the loss of your mother just 4 months ago? - must surely be having an added enormous component in your sense of depression. As I've mentioned, i too lost my mom this past year, and the grief has been profound. My heart goes out to you, especially in having to be so far from your roots and not there to mourn her with family.
And it leads me to think of another idea of a path you might pursue, however. There are bereavement groups here run by hospice groups, with meetings for those going through grief like yours. It might be a helpful starting point if you found a hospice near you with such service. I have the sense that you don't have to have used that particular hospice service in order to avail of their bereavement support groups. I know of one through Cedars Sinai, if that is anywhere near you. (I wrote you once when you first started posting here asking if you lived near UCLA, where you might find some information on getting medical help. I don't think I ever got a response to that post, so i'm not sure where in LA you are.) And through such a support group, the leaders could also give you ideas about people to see in terms of finding a pdoc etc. as well. I'm guessing they have a network of names of people and would know about those who are more reasonable and take those without health insurance.
Just an idea that might sound helpful to you...
wishing you well and sending abrazos,
zinya
Posted by Tiger's Dad on July 14, 2003, at 18:28:10
In reply to Re: *sigh* » Tiger's Dad, posted by mercedes on July 14, 2003, at 13:48:10
> Questions?
> What time of day do you take your effexor? If you're still up at 4:30 am, do you feel sleepy and groggy during the day? Is that when you sleep? If you're taking it at nightime, that could be the reason, based on my own experience.
> Merc
> ***************************
> > Day 6 at 225mg Effexor XR. I'm still up at 4:30am :( Hope I see some _positive_ effects soon.
>
>Sorry, I was mostly blowing off steam. I was starting to go a little crazy. I take my meds first thing in the morning but I've been ramping up my dosage since the beginning of June so I haven't had much chance for the side-effects to settle out. As with every time I've upped my dosage, I've been very sleepy during the day and am up hourly at night. After five days of this I decided it was time to try coffee again. I don't think it worked out too well :P I'm desperate to find a dosage that'll work for me.
I've been chronically depressed for as long as I can remember. I also suffer from social anxiety disorder. I just turned 40 a couple of weeks ago.
I started seeing therapists when I was around 13, but after years of talk and trying several tricyclics, benzodiazapines, l-tryptophan, and Zoloft with no effect, I pretty much gave up on ever finding anything that would work for me by the time I was in my twenties.I've felt that my condition has crippled me and left me mostly non-functional during my entire working life, but I've received regular, healthy raises and bonuses... at least until I lost my job in February 2002 (two weeks after I bought my new house yet and a month after my beloved 10yo cat Ed died). Here I am 16 months later, still an unemployed software engineer living off what's left of my savings. I've come to the realization that a significant part of the difficulty I've had finding a new job stems from my fear of being unable to perform and this has been my primary motivation in seeking help again. I have very little confidence in therapy without first finding a drug which will deal with the plethora of somatic effects I suffer from my depression and my social anxiety. I've been on Effexor XR six weeks as of today. As bad as the side-effects have been, they're nothing compared to what I've been suffering with most of my life.
Posted by bookgurl99 on July 14, 2003, at 20:34:39
In reply to Had terrible attack. Any 1 have these symtoms?, posted by mercedes on July 11, 2003, at 3:26:16
Mercedes,
I've experienced this. It sounds like you should see your dr., and possibly a neurologist. It sounds like you could be having complicated migraines or basilar artery migraines. These are both potentially serious, though treatable.
There's a link on these at http://s-2000.com/bam/ .
I have this and it is a pisser.
books
Posted by bookgurl99 on July 14, 2003, at 20:36:49
In reply to Had terrible attack. Any 1 have these symtoms?, posted by mercedes on July 11, 2003, at 3:26:16
Mercedes,
btw, these migraines do not need to be accompanied with a headache. or, sometimes, the headache happens _after_ all the other symptoms.
good luck getting treated. :D
Posted by worrier on July 14, 2003, at 21:21:17
In reply to Re: Had terrible attack. Any 1 have these symtoms? » worrier, posted by mercedes on July 13, 2003, at 2:04:01
> Dear Worrier,
> You are the second person that has mentioned "migranes". This never occurred to me because I hardly ever have headaches. My head hurts alot after my attacks, but not before. If I have ever had a headache, the strongest thing I take is Tylenol because I fear mixing over the counter drugs with my prescibed drugs.
>
> I'll mention it to my pdoc and then pursue it with my neurologist. Does your brother-n-law take daily medication for these migranes? My son used to get migranes at the age of 6 & 7. He was very sensitive to bright light or sun. Now that I think about it, I had worked in my yard outside in the sun, the day before.
> Thanks for your input,
> Mercedes> Mercedes, my brother-in-law takes a beta-blocker daily as a preventive med. but it hasn't been that effective. You mentioned that you get headaches after your "attacks".That fits his pattern exactly. The weird sensory stuff happens first, followed by the headache. Definitely sounds worth looking into. Good luck to you, Worrier.
Posted by Susy on July 14, 2003, at 21:49:46
In reply to Re: To Suzy re: xanex....Zinya can u also help? » Susy, posted by zinya on July 14, 2003, at 17:16:20
> Hola again Suzy,
>
> As you share more elements of what you are dealing with -- and I think you mentioned in an earlier post that you have children here as well, isn't that right? -- I have the sense now from you've said that the loss of your mother just 4 months ago? - must surely be having an added enormous component in your sense of depression. As I've mentioned, i too lost my mom this past year, and the grief has been profound. My heart goes out to you, especially in having to be so far from your roots and not there to mourn her with family.
>
> And it leads me to think of another idea of a path you might pursue, however. There are bereavement groups here run by hospice groups, with meetings for those going through grief like yours. It might be a helpful starting point if you found a hospice near you with such service. I have the sense that you don't have to have used that particular hospice service in order to avail of their bereavement support groups. I know of one through Cedars Sinai, if that is anywhere near you. (I wrote you once when you first started posting here asking if you lived near UCLA, where you might find some information on getting medical help. I don't think I ever got a response to that post, so i'm not sure where in LA you are.) And through such a support group, the leaders could also give you ideas about people to see in terms of finding a pdoc etc. as well. I'm guessing they have a network of names of people and would know about those who are more reasonable and take those without health insurance.
>
> Just an idea that might sound helpful to you...
>
> wishing you well and sending abrazos,
> zinyaHi Zinya, yes, I do remember once somebody mention about the UCLA, sorry I didn't response
I didn't know it was you but now I won't forget. The thing is I don't even know where UCLA is I think is next to Beverly Hills isn't? I live in the San Fernando Valley Area, I will ask and find out, hopefully they still have this services. Where should I find a Hospice?
Any idea you can give me would help a lot, right now all I have is you guys here in Babble.
About my mother, yes, is a pain I don't think it will ever go away.I do love to drive, but lately I catch myself in the freeway crying like crazy remembering old times when she was still alive.
And a lot of another ideas come to mind, the other day when I went to this county hospital they didn't give me medical attention because it wasn't an emergency, so this girl seated next asked me, and I explain how I felt, she told me,well tell them that you feel like killing yourself. No, I told her, I don't want to kill myself, I do want to live. I just want to feel better and deal with my life with more peace and energy.
Obviously, I do have some death thoughts
specially being a person who suffers Panic Attacks that is mostly the fear I have when I
suffer them, and imagine now, yes, I do have children (3) 19, 14 and 8. And I can see how they are going to suffer when the same happens to me.
Well, I am kind of sad right now. I better write back next time.
Hugs for you Zinya, Cher and dear Mercedes.
Thanks for everything.
Posted by zinya on July 15, 2003, at 13:58:24
In reply to Re: To Suzy re: xanex....Zinya can u also help?, posted by Susy on July 14, 2003, at 21:49:46
hola Suzy,
gosh, i feel so much for you and what it adds to not having health insurance. I don't have it now either so I empathize. For me it has been largely a catch-22 that the depression itself has just daunted me and tasks like seeking info and deciding on health insurance just still hasn't risen to the level of things i can cope with tackling. Kind of stupid, but that's where I'm at.If you could give me a more specific idea of where in San Fernando Valley you are (which city), since it's such a huge area, I could try to find a name of a hospice program that would be near you. I myself am about 40 min. away from the one I go to for the bereavement group and some nights I just can't muster the energy to drive that far, and especially as you have kids, i would think it would be good to find a place as close to you as possible.
Do all of your kids live with you or is the oldest one on her own now? How many years have you lived here (meaning how long ago did you come from Spain?) I think you mentioned that early on but I've forgotten.
sending you mas abrazos bien grandes!
zinya> Hi Zinya, yes, I do remember once somebody mention about the UCLA, sorry I didn't response
> I didn't know it was you but now I won't forget. The thing is I don't even know where UCLA is I think is next to Beverly Hills isn't? I live in the San Fernando Valley Area, I will ask and find out, hopefully they still have this services. Where should I find a Hospice?
> Any idea you can give me would help a lot, right now all I have is you guys here in Babble.
> About my mother, yes, is a pain I don't think it will ever go away.I do love to drive, but lately I catch myself in the freeway crying like crazy remembering old times when she was still alive.
> And a lot of another ideas come to mind, the other day when I went to this county hospital they didn't give me medical attention because it wasn't an emergency, so this girl seated next asked me, and I explain how I felt, she told me,well tell them that you feel like killing yourself. No, I told her, I don't want to kill myself, I do want to live. I just want to feel better and deal with my life with more peace and energy.
> Obviously, I do have some death thoughts
> specially being a person who suffers Panic Attacks that is mostly the fear I have when I
> suffer them, and imagine now, yes, I do have children (3) 19, 14 and 8. And I can see how they are going to suffer when the same happens to me.
> Well, I am kind of sad right now. I better write back next time.
> Hugs for you Zinya, Cher and dear Mercedes.
> Thanks for everything.
Posted by zinya on July 15, 2003, at 14:15:04
In reply to Re: *sigh* » mercedes, posted by Tiger's Dad on July 14, 2003, at 18:28:10
hi Tiger's Dad,
Did you ever try taking your Effexor at night? As we've all discovered here, it affects each of us so uniquely. If your daytimes are sleepy, and you're taking it in the early morning and then can't sleep at night, i'm wondering if maybe you're reacting to it more like I am than some others. I take mine at night, originally cuz i eat my biggest meal at dinner and wanting to take it on the fullest stomach possible to avoid nausea. But i find it works for me sleep-wise as well. I get very sleepy at night and am sleeping as soundly as i can recall through the night. I do have coffee first thing in the a.m. as per my usual routine my whole adulthood and i have found myself gradually creeping up to having actually a 3rd coffee in late afternoon lately (i never let myself have coffee more often than every 4 hours as i've learned it just causes a compounding effect that winds up making a person have more of a sudden 'caffeine withdrawal').
I started about the same time you did but i'm taking it much slower building up just cuz i'd had so many bad side effects with other ad's and wanted to give this the best shot possible, so I'm only at 100 mg in the same amount of time you (and most people) are (or would be) at 225. And last night was only my 2nd dose at 100 (i went from 19 to 37.5 to 56 to 75 and now 100). I find again that my 2nd day on a new dose level (days 2 through about 5) tend to be the most side-effect ridden and i indeed felt pretty "out of it" when i woke up this morning - in an unusual way - not groggy but kind of spacey - but after coffee it passed okay - My biggest ongoing problem is inordinate sweating but i too am able to live with it.
But you might try working your way toward nighttime if you haven't tried it then. And maybe if you're waking up during the night anyway, the shortest route to shifting your dosage toward nighttime might be to try taking it when you are awake in the middle of the night and then move to taking it before bedtime, and see if that works better for you.
??
Just an idea.
and good wishes,
zinya
Posted by Tiger's Dad on July 15, 2003, at 14:36:36
In reply to Re: sleepiness etc. and dosage times » Tiger's Dad, posted by zinya on July 15, 2003, at 14:15:04
I've considered doing just that, but I'd have to shift my dosage times by about three hours a day. I'm just too wrung out right now to coordinate that sort of thing over a period of four or five days.
Posted by bookgurl99 on July 15, 2003, at 14:53:26
In reply to Re: sleepiness etc. and dosage times » zinya, posted by Tiger's Dad on July 15, 2003, at 14:36:36
Starting effexor xr 37.5 mgs today for migraine prevention. Watching this thread.
Posted by Dasart1 on July 15, 2003, at 16:02:02
In reply to starting effexor, posted by bookgurl99 on July 15, 2003, at 14:53:26
Hi kids,
I recently started Effexor XR @ 150 mg per day about two weeks ago. As of today I am up to 300 mg. Id’ like to say to those of you of which whom have been started at a much lower dose than this and that is not to worry too much. Beginning at such a low dose probably indicates a milder form of depression and the good news is that your depression is probably curable. As where mine is chronic and clinical and is not curable. I will always (for the rest of my life) need to be medicated for this (as well as many other) problems. I’d like to know if any one has hit the 400-mg dose yet. As I understand this drug...the highest dose recommended is at 425 mg. I fear that my dose will indeed be increased again in a week or so. As I am severely depressed and have been so for many, many years...If not my entire life (it’s a long story). So is any one up around 300 mg or 400 mg? I’d really like to know if some one is at this range and has previously been on a different antidepressant if they have noticed a difference between them. I am switching over from Paxil to Effexor XR and am rather curious to say the least.
Sincerely, Das
Posted by mercedes on July 15, 2003, at 16:26:35
In reply to Re: Had terrible attack. Any 1 have these symtoms?, posted by bookgurl99 on July 14, 2003, at 20:34:39
Dear Books, I got so excited to hear someone elso has symtoms like me, that when I went to click on the site, my mouse flew off my desk! I've checked it out a little (they are presently revising site)and the comments from some people are what I have experienced. At least I have a name, this Basilar Artery Migraine or BAM that I will do more research on. Thank you so very very much. I'll keep you posted. I see my MD tomorrow and my pdoc this coming monday. I've had several neurologist perform all kinds of test with no results and they just say, ie., nope, you don't have seizures...bye ! So irritating! What have you been prescribed if I may ask? How do you cope?
Mercedes
*******************************************> Mercedes,
>
> I've experienced this. It sounds like you should see your dr., and possibly a neurologist. It sounds like you could be having complicated migraines or basilar artery migraines. These are both potentially serious, though treatable.
>
> There's a link on these at http://s-2000.com/bam/ .
>
> I have this and it is a pisser.
>
> books
Posted by Nissy on July 15, 2003, at 17:08:10
In reply to Re: starting effexor @ 150 mg and climbing » bookgurl99, posted by Dasart1 on July 15, 2003, at 16:02:02
Hello,
I am on 450 mg of Effexor xr. And my P Doc said I can go as high as 600 mg.
Nissy
Posted by mercedes on July 15, 2003, at 17:21:17
In reply to Re: *sigh* » mercedes, posted by Tiger's Dad on July 14, 2003, at 18:28:10
Hi again. I've included part of your comment only because I have the same problem but not as long as you have. I'm an unemployed accountant and when I read my resume', it sounds impressive however I doubt that I can do the things I used to do., ie financial analysis, budget preparation (the other day I couln't even balance my own check book, took me 3 days - HA!)
I've been in the accounting field for 30 years and feel very inadeqate, stupid mostly. Is it the medications that have made my brain worthless or is it all those attacks I've been having? I ask myself this all the time.I'd like to think positive though. I am going to get better. I have to beleive that. I was smart and will be smart again. Being out of work and with social anxiety keeps us from communicating with our peers. When I talk with some of my ex co-worker freinds I feel my intellegence comes back when we talk about our work, what we used to do. It's funny that I CAN remember supplier's names, a yr we had 17 million in profits,etc. when we talk, yet I can't memeber what I did yesterday or even this morning.....sound familiar? Keep on trucking okay. It will get better for all of us soon.
MercedesExerpt... posted by Tigersdad:
I've felt that my condition has crippled me and left me mostly non-functional during my entire working life, but I've received regular, healthy raises and bonuses... at least until I lost my job in February 2002 (two weeks after I bought my new house yet and a month after my beloved 10yo cat Ed died). Here I am 16 months later, still an unemployed software engineer living off what's left of my savings. I've come to the realization that a significant part of the difficulty I've had finding a new job stems from my fear of being unable to perform and this has been my primary motivation in seeking help again.
Posted by KimberlyDi on July 15, 2003, at 17:59:19
In reply to Re: starting effexor @ 150 mg and climbing » bookgurl99, posted by Dasart1 on July 15, 2003, at 16:02:02
Hello Das,
I've been on Zoloft, Paxil, Prozac, Wellbutrin, and now Effexor. Effexor has been the most powerful anti-anxiety AD that I've ever been on. I'm not sure how well it works on depression. My overall mood has lifted over the past 2 months (how long I've been taking Effexor). It also has the most noticable Side Effects of any AD that I've taken. Basic advice, Give it 4-6 weeks at least and if you decide not to take it anymore, taper off it slowly. Keep posting to Psycho-Babble. You'll get lots of information.
Good Luck!
KDi from Texas> Hi kids,
> I recently started Effexor XR @ 150 mg per day about two weeks ago. As of today I am up to 300 mg. Id’ like to say to those of you of which whom have been started at a much lower dose than this and that is not to worry too much. Beginning at such a low dose probably indicates a milder form of depression and the good news is that your depression is probably curable. As where mine is chronic and clinical and is not curable. I will always (for the rest of my life) need to be medicated for this (as well as many other) problems. I’d like to know if any one has hit the 400-mg dose yet. As I understand this drug...the highest dose recommended is at 425 mg. I fear that my dose will indeed be increased again in a week or so. As I am severely depressed and have been so for many, many years...If not my entire life (it’s a long story). So is any one up around 300 mg or 400 mg? I’d really like to know if some one is at this range and has previously been on a different antidepressant if they have noticed a difference between them. I am switching over from Paxil to Effexor XR and am rather curious to say the least.
> Sincerely, Das
>
Posted by mercedes on July 15, 2003, at 18:31:26
In reply to Re: To Suzy re: xanex....Zinya can u also help?, posted by Susy on July 14, 2003, at 15:48:04
Susy...you'd better hang in there okay? Don't give up, Susy. I think we all have been or still are..feeling like you. Most people when they are severly depressed, can't do anything. At least you are still reaching out through this site. That means that you want to get help and are not giving up. You have a lot to live for even though it may seem like you don't. There are positive things in your life. Maybe you couldn't go to your mother's funeral. Do you think she is mad at you for that? Her body is in Spain but her spirit is closer to you now, more than ever. I too lost my mother 3 years ago on valentines day. I was in my deepest depression and having so many anxiety attacks that I couln't drive. I still had to work with all this sickness. I cried for her alot. Now I talk to her in my mind. I also go through her cause she is closer to God, and ask for her to ask God to help me get well, and she is. My mother, who is in heaven now, know's all the secrets I kept from her (especially the rape) and I know she understands. For a short time, I was going to rape survivors meetings and I lied to mom and told her I was taking a class. I felt so guilty lying to her. She knows the truth now and is probably saying, pobre mija.
I wish I could kick that neighbor of your's. She cannot have you kicked out you know. If the landlord even wanted you out, you can live there free for three months, did you know that? As for your male freind, his humiliating you is not good for you at all. It only belittles you and makes you more vulnerable to getting depressed and anxious. Tell him you won't take his verbal abuse anymore if he wants to continue seeing you. You need positive in your life now. Not negative stuff. Okay.
Hugs and prayers,
Mercedes
************************************
> Mercedes, Thanks a lot for your interest and specially for all the help you are giving me, you are right I don't have a Health Insurance, I do have Medical but it is for emergencies only.
I think I am going to buy a health plan once I am able to work again. But meanwhile, thanks for the idea, I can make an appoinment with a psiquiatrist to see if he wants to continue touching bases with my case at least once per month. I will tell you that I think I am also a little bit depressed, my mother passed away last March 20 and I wasn't able to fly to Spain, because, crazy thing, I am affraid to fly, can you believe it? I came by plane to USA 20 years ago and now I can't take another one. All this because of the same, what if I have an attack in the middle of the fly....etc. Now, I don't even know if I want to go back again, because she won't be there waiting for me as I always dreamed.
Then, I live in a beautiful rented house but there is this neighbor who always puts a lot of pressure on me to the point of harrassment, I never met such an insensitive and selfish human been;and I lived affraid one day she is going to get the owners to kick us out and the rents these days are very expensive here in L.A.
Besides, I had this relation with this guy for around 7 years and he doesn't want to let me go. I do feel something for him. But it is just that he is continuosly humillating me, I think he is neurotic but he will never admit it, all the times something went wrong it was because of his bad temper and then he blamed everything on me.
I feel bad not to see him, but the last times I saw him I came back home thinking I was about to pass out, and praying God to please let me wake up alive next morning.
So, as you can see, there is nothing positive in my life at this moment, I have to deal with this anxiety, lack of energy and panic attacks and I think that make me even more depressed and anxious because I wish I could quit Xanax and feel like I used to be at least 2 yrs ago. Sometimes I don't even know if one day I will have my strenght back to continue and planning for the future....or just give up and see what happens.
Please keep on writing Mercedes, and say Hi to Cher if you see her.Hugs, Susy
Posted by mercedes on July 15, 2003, at 18:47:38
In reply to Re: starting effexor @ 150 mg and climbing » bookgurl99, posted by Dasart1 on July 15, 2003, at 16:02:02
Hi kid...I like that
Anyway, I have been on 300 mgs now for about 5 months (started slow of course). I take it for depression and take Xanex for anxiety. being on 300 mgs has helped my mood alot. Really "feel" happy for the first time in years. Have some down days sometimes but I think that's normal. Keep us posted.
Mercedes
Posted by mercedes on July 15, 2003, at 19:23:34
In reply to Re: Has anyone experienced nightmares on Effexor XR?, posted by Susy on July 11, 2003, at 9:24:13
Susy, I remember you saying you had these zig zag lines in you vision or with eyes closed. Well, while looking up info from someone trying to help me out, I found this site. I am researching more on my illness, have been on the net all day but wanted you to know that maybe we have this 'basilar migrain' thing. Sorry I couldn't do a connection to the site but you can copy and paste.
Mercedeshttp://www.neurologychannel.com/migraine/#basilar
Migraine with aura is characterized by a neurological phenomenon (aura) that is experienced 10 to 30 minutes before the headache. Most auras are visual and are described as bright shimmering lights around objects or at the edges of the field of vision (called scintillating scotomas) or zigzag lines, wavy images, or hallucinations. Others experience temporary vision loss.
Nonvisual auras include motor weakness, speech or language abnormalities, dizziness, vertigo, and tingling or numbness (parasthesia) of the face, tongue, or extremities.
Posted by Susy on July 15, 2003, at 19:25:25
In reply to Re: To Suzy re: xanex....Zinya can u also help? » Susy, posted by zinya on July 15, 2003, at 13:58:24
Hi, Zinya, this is Susy again =)
I live in the city of North Hollywood, next to Universal Studios; I called a place in this city called MacDonald Carry but they say they just take more severe symptoms, meaning they don't deal with anxiety or panic attacks.
I can go during the evenings when my oldest son is here and he can help me taking care of the youngests. Lately I have been feeling very tired though,hopefully I can have some energy to go and don't feel too nervous about it. I know I do need help. Maybe is also the weather. But still my heart pounding fast.=(
I came from Spain to U.S.A. in 1981. But I went back in 1986 and my brother stayed here.
Then I came back here again in 1992 the last time.
And my brother went back to Spain in 1999 when m our mother started to be sick. I noticed in 1992 that everything changed a lot in California specially for aliens, like me.
But, as I was writing to Mercedes I wasn't able to go and see my mother last year because of this fear to fly; fear I didn't have years ago =(. But again I don't want to have an attack in the middle of the flight.
I will also like to know more about you Zinya, I see that you are always giving support to everybody but don't say much about yourself.
Right now I have to go to pick my son up from a program he goes with the Police.
I'll write back later on tonight.Hugs, Susy
Posted by Susy on July 15, 2003, at 19:51:49
In reply to Re: Anxiety, lack of energy, panic attcks, depr. » Susy, posted by mercedes on July 15, 2003, at 18:31:26
> Susy...you'd better hang in there okay? Don't give up, Susy. I think we all have been or still are..feeling like you. Most people when they are severly depressed, can't do anything. At least you are still reaching out through this site. That means that you want to get help and are not giving up. You have a lot to live for even though it may seem like you don't. There are positive things in your life. Maybe you couldn't go to your mother's funeral. Do you think she is mad at you for that? Her body is in Spain but her spirit is closer to you now, more than ever. I too lost my mother 3 years ago on valentines day. I was in my deepest depression and having so many anxiety attacks that I couln't drive. I still had to work with all this sickness. I cried for her alot. Now I talk to her in my mind. I also go through her cause she is closer to God, and ask for her to ask God to help me get well, and she is. My mother, who is in heaven now, know's all the secrets I kept from her (especially the rape) and I know she understands. For a short time, I was going to rape survivors meetings and I lied to mom and told her I was taking a class. I felt so guilty lying to her. She knows the truth now and is probably saying, pobre mija.
>
> I wish I could kick that neighbor of your's. She cannot have you kicked out you know. If the landlord even wanted you out, you can live there free for three months, did you know that? As for your male freind, his humiliating you is not good for you at all. It only belittles you and makes you more vulnerable to getting depressed and anxious. Tell him you won't take his verbal abuse anymore if he wants to continue seeing you. You need positive in your life now. Not negative stuff. Okay.
> Hugs and prayers,
> Mercedes
> ************************************
> > Sweet Mercedes, reading your post almost brought tears to my eyes. I am so sensitive lately. That I thank God for finding you guys and for understand me. I do try to understand about my mother, it is just now I do have more questions in my mind about death and all those things. I think you did ok by not telling your mother about your rape. She would be suffering for you, I have a daughter so is easy for me to understand that your mother had have feel very sad for you and with impotence of not being able to do anything to the people that made her hijita go through such suffering.
About my neighbor it is a long story, but It hurt me a lot because I was the Manager here and at the beginning she pretended to be my friend and came to my home, once she knew all about us then she went ahead and stabbed me in the back. That never happen to me before. And I swear to God that I didn't make anything bad to her. Then the owner believed all her complaints and now she is the Manager and she yells at my children everytime she wants and that hurt me even more.
I think she doesn't like us because we are a family and she lives alone, but, I offered to her my house, my friends, my familiy and she rejected me. I know she writes me letters and do all this because she wants us to move out, but Thanks God that is not official yet, I haven't received any 3 or 30 days notice.But I lived always affraid that will happen sooner or later.I know what you say thay we can stay here for 3 more months but then I would have an eviction in my credit.
Besides rents are very expensive. And why do we have to move only because she doesn't like us?
We haven't done anything to her. But I live with this fear one day I will receive this 3 or 30 days notice and she will be laughing happy while I will have to see where I can go with my children specially now that I am not working.
About this guy, I gave him a lot of opportunities I allways told him I needed somebody to treat me with love and respect and he did exactly the opposite, to be honest, I don't want to see him anymore. He really makes me feel very confused, he is always looking for something to fight and he is able to be arguing for neverending hours and then blame everything on me and said that I said what he did say, if I continue like this I am going to really get crazy. I feel very sad because I realized love is not the perfect feeling I thought it was. But now, I don't even think about love anymore, all I want is to feel better again, and work, and think about the future, maybe somewhere far from here. But also, I have lost trust in people and that is not me again, I always loved to have lots of friends. But yet, I don't want to suffer more.
I make it long again eh?
If you don't get tired I'll keep on telling you in the next one.Big Hugs for you Mercedes
Susy
Posted by redman on July 15, 2003, at 20:08:56
In reply to Anyone had success on Effexor XR? , posted by jp on October 24, 1999, at 14:59:14
Whats everyonr paying for effexor XR . I'm paying $174.00 for 60 37.5 ..Is that to much?
Posted by bookgurl99 on July 15, 2003, at 22:02:57
In reply to Re: Had terrible attack. Any 1 have these symtoms? » bookgurl99, posted by mercedes on July 15, 2003, at 16:26:35
Mercedes,
interesting that you ask how i cope, as i just went to the doctor _and_ therapist today. the dr. confirmed that my last attack is not evocative of seizure disorder (something my pdoc was concerned about), and said that the treatment _is_ prevention. Good prevention prevents more attacks, accumulation of damage, and allows you to heal.
This is . . hard to deal with emotionally. I just had a serious attack 2 weeks ago that left me with slower thinking, some word-finding difficulties, and some blurred left-eye vision. My dr. basically said the damage has been done; hopefully things will heal with time.
(btw, my dr. called this 'familial hemiplegic migraine,' which may be in the BAM class)
This is really tough for me, as I was always a 'brain,' and have developed most of my identity around my intelligence. I find it hard to find myself lovable when I need extra help. Plus, I am really frightened about being able to meet my career goals.
I guess I have faith in healing, as in the past, I had a much worse BAM attack (trouble recognizing faces, even), and recovered within a few months once I began preventative treatment.
Right now, I take a calcium-channel blocker that is used to lower blood pressure. it's verapamil, 80 mgs, 3 times a day. I think you will be surprised to see how effective it can be once you get over the initial dizziness caused by it.
I am starting on effexor to see if it helps. I have had the worst attacks when I have _not_ been on a med. I have also had my worst attacks prior to menstruation, and after consuming a lot of coffee.
My dr. has suggested depakote to me, but I am wary of trying it. The side effects seem so powerful.
I would say, basically, avoid doing anything that would also encourage stroke -- quit smoking, quit coffee, and work to find a preventative med. If your dr. does not believe you on this dx, then you need to find one who does.
Keep me posted,
books
Posted by mercedes on July 16, 2003, at 3:16:19
In reply to Re: BAM/familial hemiplegic migraine, posted by bookgurl99 on July 15, 2003, at 22:02:57
Books, fhm is in the BAM family. I looked it up. I feel for you because I can also relate to the loss of words after an attack. The more attacks I have the worse I get. I too considered myself very intelligent, being in the acctg field my entire career, getting promotions regularly until 7 years ago. Really feel sorta dumb now. I have trouble comprehending/short term memory loss. I think I mentioned this before, can't remember.
I was on Depakote (prescribed by a neurologist) about a year ago. Took it for about two years. I still had the attacks and it made me very sleepy and lathargic but, I was also on xanex which could have contributed to the SE. For me, the depakote didn't do a thing for the attacks. I stopped the depakote when I started taking effexor. Effexor has not stopped the attacks altogether but they are less now.
Again thank you for leading me in the right direction re: BAM. I have to do more research on it but will surely mention it to my Dr.
Have faith okay? I do. I used to have the attacks monthly, even weekly. Now it's just sporadic. Something will eventually work, I know it will.
Mercedes
Posted by mercedes on July 16, 2003, at 3:39:44
In reply to Re: Anxiety, lack of energy, panic attcks, depr., posted by Susy on July 15, 2003, at 19:51:49
Susy, you can make it as long as you want. I will keep listening. Your pain is felt by others that have experienced the same as you and in case you don't know it, YOU are helping others on this thread, just by being you. I'm glad you wrote back. You already sound a little stronger than your previous note. We will all try to help each other. Thank you for your kind words about my mother and me not telling her. You are right, she would have not been able to help me and would have suffered more for me. She was in her 80's and very frail.
Hugs and Prayers,
Mercedes
*************
I make it long again eh?
If you don't get tired I'll keep on telling you in the next one.Big Hugs for you Mercedes
Susy
Posted by KimberlyDi on July 16, 2003, at 8:02:08
In reply to Re: starting effexor @ 150 mg and climbing » Dasart1, posted by KimberlyDi on July 15, 2003, at 17:59:19
Sorry, I meant to post that I'm now at 200mg daily and think she'll have to bump me to 300mg or prescribed another AD to work in tandem with the Effexor. Effexor has raised my blood pressure somewhat and we have to keep an eye on that.
Good Luck
Kim> Hello Das,
> I've been on Zoloft, Paxil, Prozac, Wellbutrin, and now Effexor. Effexor has been the most powerful anti-anxiety AD that I've ever been on. I'm not sure how well it works on depression. My overall mood has lifted over the past 2 months (how long I've been taking Effexor). It also has the most noticable Side Effects of any AD that I've taken. Basic advice, Give it 4-6 weeks at least and if you decide not to take it anymore, taper off it slowly. Keep posting to Psycho-Babble. You'll get lots of information.
> Good Luck!
> KDi from Texas
>
> > Hi kids,
> > I recently started Effexor XR @ 150 mg per day about two weeks ago. As of today I am up to 300 mg. Id’ like to say to those of you of which whom have been started at a much lower dose than this and that is not to worry too much. Beginning at such a low dose probably indicates a milder form of depression and the good news is that your depression is probably curable. As where mine is chronic and clinical and is not curable. I will always (for the rest of my life) need to be medicated for this (as well as many other) problems. I’d like to know if any one has hit the 400-mg dose yet. As I understand this drug...the highest dose recommended is at 425 mg. I fear that my dose will indeed be increased again in a week or so. As I am severely depressed and have been so for many, many years...If not my entire life (it’s a long story). So is any one up around 300 mg or 400 mg? I’d really like to know if some one is at this range and has previously been on a different antidepressant if they have noticed a difference between them. I am switching over from Paxil to Effexor XR and am rather curious to say the least.
> > Sincerely, Das
> >
>
>
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