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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 4408 to 4432 of 10407. Go back in thread:
Posted by racergurl74 on June 26, 2003, at 22:39:54
In reply to Re: effexor withdrawal IS FINE, posted by jtc on June 25, 2003, at 22:53:05
Hi,
Your situation sounds alot like mine. I was only on effexor for 7 days and now have been off for 7 days. I do notice that I am alot more agitated with the children.(I have one 15, then 10 & 8 ) I have been "going off" on my teenager for simple things. Giving her loud, long, speeches with lots of anger over small details. I don't like feeling so angry. With prozac and effexor I NEVER got angry about ANYTHING. But then again, is that what I want from life anyway. I have justified stopping my meds by saying, "considering all the side effects I guess I can live with some temper tanrums."(long enough to see if it fades)I've never really had major depression and it seems ridiculous to take medication to keep from feeling normal emotions about certain life situations. Not to mean that alot of people don't actually need AD's, I think they are a wonderful thing. I just hope that it doesn't mean I need them for the rest of my life. How long should it take to be absolutely back to normal and drug free?
Posted by racergurl74 on June 26, 2003, at 22:51:43
In reply to Re: do effexor side effects lessen a lot w/ time?, posted by bikermiker on June 26, 2003, at 16:59:59
How much do you feel that diet and exercise play a role in treatment. I am a food-a-holic and would like to change. I know all the benefits of nutrition. I just wonder if it's actually all the it's cracked up to be.
Posted by Roxanne on June 27, 2003, at 10:40:57
In reply to Re: Withdrawal From Effexor, posted by pregnant on September 19, 2002, at 0:59:37
I am currently 7 weeks pregnant, and just found out about my pregnancy last week. My doctor is weaning me off of effexor and I am going through hell. I can't tell what is morning sickness and what are my withdrawal symptoms from the effexor. I feel as though I am going crazy and I am so scared. I was on 225, and today I took my last dose of 75. She had me wean down to 150, then 75, then 75 every other day. I am so sick, dizzy, nauseous.
What can I do to feel better???
Posted by Anton on June 27, 2003, at 12:07:14
In reply to Re: Withdrawal From Effexor, posted by Roxanne on June 27, 2003, at 10:40:57
> I am currently 7 weeks pregnant, and just found out about my pregnancy last week. My doctor is weaning me off of effexor and I am going through hell. I can't tell what is morning sickness and what are my withdrawal symptoms from the effexor. I feel as though I am going crazy and I am so scared. I was on 225, and today I took my last dose of 75. She had me wean down to 150, then 75, then 75 every other day. I am so sick, dizzy, nauseous.
> What can I do to feel better???
chill.. dont worry about the effexor, think about the child, i think personally you should just keep taking plenty vitamins and nutrients, etc plenty of healty stuff
Posted by KimberlyDi on June 27, 2003, at 12:32:20
In reply to Re: effexor withdrawal IS FINE, posted by jtc on June 25, 2003, at 22:53:05
Why did you go off Effexor? It sounds like you do still need AD's. You might need to try a different one. My Therapist talks highly of Lexapro. Keep up the exercise. I wish I had your dedication to it.
Good Luck!
Kim> Hi, I am happy to hear about both of your experiences. I have been off of Effexor for about 3 months now and I have been feeling okay. But now I am starting to get depressed, angry and agitated at my kids. It is not their fault but unfortunately they are home with me all day since school is out and they get the brunt of the anger and irritability and it is not fair to them. I am also starting to have more anxiety to the point of mild panic attacks and very nervous feelings. I wonder if I should be back on an antidepressant. I have been trying to exercise for almost two months now by running and walking and I think it is helping but I still cannot control my temper at my children or my husband (my husband deserves the temper tantrums directed at him because he treats me like a child, I think that is the reason for my problems). I am still taking Klonopin .5 mg a day. What do you all think? Thanks in advance for your advice and continued success to you both...jtc
>
> > Hi, It's so great to hear about your experience. I wish you continued success. How long have you been med free? Do you feel the anxiety is worse than before{pre-meds}? Have you had any problems with anger or temper tantrums? Continuing my story, the nauseau I had for two days is gone, but I'm not so sure it was a side effect because other relatives that I had been with alot had nauseau too and even some vomitting. I did take half of my dose on Sunday but decided not to on Monday and today because I felt sleepy all day on Sunday. Monday and today so far, have been fine only a little temper with my children that is unusual. I'm so hopeful after reading your story, please keep us updated. > Hi, I just wanted to say that if done properly, effexor withdrawal is problem free, if supervised correctly..... Here's my story - I've been on effexor 75mg for half a year and before that, prozac for another half year. This summer I had decided that if there was at all a time to be myself again and come off the meds, then now is it. First of all, my doc lowered me onto 37mg a day for (get this) a month, followed by another month of 37mg on alternate days. Toward the end of this month I begin to feel as if enough was enough and actually just quit. The first week med-free the only withdrawal symptons I got were a weird 'whoosey' sensation if I turned my head too fast, and that has since long gone. I'm posting this as a reassurance to people out there who are scared of withdrawing, that its fine done in a controlled (by the doc) and tapered way....and also for people who are scared to go on the drug because of the withdrawal effects. Perhaps its a bit different in England where I live, because we have free healthcare, so its no expense at all having these long withdrawal periods. And I guess that everyone is different, so perhaps I was just fortunate. Good luck to anyone coming off, no matter how easy or difficult they find it. Now I have to cope with the anxiety I had before instead, but I want to give it a go using natural methods (exercise, diet) rather than meds.
> >
> >
>
>
Posted by countess on June 27, 2003, at 13:10:38
In reply to Re: side effects lessen over time, posted by scoot7 on June 26, 2003, at 21:40:43
i am taking effexor for anxiety too and i had simular symptoms to scoot7. thanks for the words. it makes me feel better to not be alone with these symptoms. i was on 37.5 xr for two weeks, then 75 xr for two weeks. i think it helps to take the increase in amt. slowly. anyhow. strange how this med. calms down and how your body adjusts to it. my doctor said to hang in there that my body just needs to adjust to the med. i was a bit skeptical but he seems to be right so far. i feel more normal now. take care everyone!
Posted by melley on June 27, 2003, at 16:02:36
In reply to Re: Withdrawal From Effexor, posted by Roxanne on June 27, 2003, at 10:40:57
> I am currently 7 weeks pregnant, and just found out about my pregnancy last week. My doctor is weaning me off of effexor and I am going through hell. I can't tell what is morning sickness and what are my withdrawal symptoms from the effexor. I feel as though I am going crazy and I am so scared. I was on 225, and today I took my last dose of 75. She had me wean down to 150, then 75, then 75 every other day. I am so sick, dizzy, nauseous.
Will she then have you do 37.5mg? It seems like a leap to go from 75 to nothing. She must be trying to get you off quickly. I am just through the process; dramamine helped me (25mg) but oops I guess that's not an option with you being pregnant. What about natural options for motion sickness: ginger (tea? candied?), motion sickness bands. I felt like I had motion sickness; don't know how it is for you. And it is difficult to say what's the pregancy and what's the withdrawal. Poor you. No fun at all. I would ask about going to 37.5mg. Otherwise, it helps to realize it does end. I thought it would go on forever but now I am fine. Good luck with your baby!
Posted by ltleangel20 on June 27, 2003, at 17:45:51
In reply to Re: effexor withdrawal IS FINE » jtc, posted by KimberlyDi on June 27, 2003, at 12:32:20
Hello, well here's the story. I was on 75mg of Effexor for about 2 and a half years. About a month ago, my doctor started tapering me off of it and for the last 2 weeks, put me on 20mg of Prozac to help with the withdrawal feelings. Does this sound familiar to anyone? After being on the Prozac a month, my depression was getting worse so my doctor added Zoloft 25mg (which I was on a while ago for about 3 years). I took the Prozac and Zoloft for 3 days and then stopped the Prozac. Now I am on 25 mg on Zoloft per day and I have been feeling dizzy, not dizzy where I can't see straight, just unbalanced, like I want to close my eyes. This is my only complaint and I would just like to know what anyone thinks it is from? I really feel like I'm going crazy and I would like to know that I'm not the only one with this symptoms. Do you think it's withdrawal from Effexor (even though I've been off of it for 3 and a half weeks), withdrawal from Prozac, or a side effect of Zoloft? Please write back with any helpful info to put my mind at ease. Thanks so much!
Posted by CherC68 on June 27, 2003, at 19:19:34
In reply to Re: Withdrawal From Effexor, posted by Roxanne on June 27, 2003, at 10:40:57
Roxanne, Congratulations on the Baby! I feel for you and hope that you know that we are here for you. I would ask your doctor if you could wean off the medicine a little bit slower. You are probably have a lot of withdrawals from the medicine. I had withdrawals and I was only on effexor xr 37.5 for 6 days! Please just keep the baby in mind, and realize you are not going crazy! You are probably nauseous because of the pregnancy and that WILL go away! You probably are also having withdrawals and unfortunately,its so very hard, but its WILL also get better soon.
Good Luck to you and Good Luck with the Baby!Hugs, Cher
Posted by CherC68 on June 27, 2003, at 19:24:20
In reply to Effexor, Prozac, Zoloft...HELP!, posted by ltleangel20 on June 27, 2003, at 17:45:51
Dear ltleangel,
Well, My thoughts are that it is a little of both. Zoloft made me very nauseous and very very light headed and dizzy, I threw up with it - I was only on it for 4 days. When I stopped taking it I ended up with stomach issues (diarrea for over a week. I was on Effexor after that for 6 days and my constant head zaps, throbbing in my head and my total feeling of crazy/everything is fine/i'm crazy/who cares/i'm crazy/my head is weird/who cares/crazy was non-stop. \When I stopped taking it I felt dizzy, emotional etc. Now, my anxiety attacks are really strong and I too have some major anger issues. I snap at everything now and feel so anxious, sad, angry, disgusted with myself for having a chemical imbalance.
Please just try to remember YOU are not going nuts, the medicine has done lots to your brain and its adjusting from one med to another and off one med to another - its all of the above, withdrawals and getting used to another medicine. Good Luck to you, and please keep posting. Things do get better, (in some ways like the side effects) but the original reason I was on the med is back in full fury, and I'm running out of options.
Hugs,
Cher
Posted by jasonr on June 29, 2003, at 19:48:59
In reply to Re: Effexor XR for KimberlyDi » KimberlyDi, posted by NThompson on June 25, 2003, at 1:33:44
Hi there!
Well, I am a guy so my experience may be a little different.
I could not orgasm for 3 or 4 weeks when I started 75mg.
Another 2 weeks when I went to 150.
I just went to 225 a few days ago and am experiencing the same problems, which I hope will go away in a few weeks.
Best of luck to you!
-Jason
> Hey there Kim,
>
> I have seen a few people talking about not being able to have orgasms when on Effexor XR, that is what I am on. I only started on the 13th of this month. When did you notice that you couldn't have them anymore? I am really scared about this. My husband and I have a great sex life and I like that I get an orgasm be fore he does. He makes sure of that. We even have sex 3-4 times a week, except for the week I'm on my monthly. I really like my orgasms, how do I keep them? Please help me with this one. The bedroom has been the only place in my life for the past few years that I feel that I have control over! When we are together, I don't think about anything but us. Making love and being in love. I can control anything there.
> Thanks for listening,
> NThompson
Posted by jtc on June 29, 2003, at 23:42:06
In reply to Re: Effexor, Prozac, Zoloft...HELP! » ltleangel20, posted by CherC68 on June 27, 2003, at 19:24:20
> Dear ltleangel,
> Well, My thoughts are that it is a little of both. Zoloft made me very nauseous and very very light headed and dizzy, I threw up with it - I was only on it for 4 days. When I stopped taking it I ended up with stomach issues (diarrea for over a week. I was on Effexor after that for 6 days and my constant head zaps, throbbing in my head and my total feeling of crazy/everything is fine/i'm crazy/who cares/i'm crazy/my head is weird/who cares/crazy was non-stop. \
>
> When I stopped taking it I felt dizzy, emotional etc. Now, my anxiety attacks are really strong and I too have some major anger issues. I snap at everything now and feel so anxious, sad, angry, disgusted with myself for having a chemical imbalance.
>
> Please just try to remember YOU are not going nuts, the medicine has done lots to your brain and its adjusting from one med to another and off one med to another - its all of the above, withdrawals and getting used to another medicine. Good Luck to you, and please keep posting. Things do get better, (in some ways like the side effects) but the original reason I was on the med is back in full fury, and I'm running out of options.
>
> Hugs,
> CherHi Cher,
I am having the same problem as you in being that the original reason I was on Effexor and all other meds I have been on is back now also in full fury. I am depressed, anxious, having mild panic attacks, and angry and irritable most of the time. I cannot sleep at night, it is usually 12:30 when I go to sleep and I get up at 6:00 a.m. I also have crying spells. My anger is mostly with my husband of 18 years (a few years too many, ha ha) but unfortunately my anger is sometimes taken out on my two beautiful daughters, ages 9 and 4. They don't understand what has happened to their mother because I used to be a kind loving person and sometimes I still am but I find myself yelling at them very loudly and I have a very short fuse with them. My 9 year old is so upset that she thinks I don't love her dad anymore and that we are going to get a divorce. She is on Zoloft, about 2 cc a day, because of her anxiety. I have so much anger at my husband because of the way he does things and the way he treats me as if I am a child. He says things to me that are demeaning but he thinks that he has not done anything wrong. There are too many things to go into but I am 38 years old and I am getting tired of it. I don't mean to blame him but I have been on medications since I was about 22 (two years after our marriage). Things will get a little better between us but then he starts in on me and I have to go on medication to be able to deal with him. I take everything he says to me very seriously and I think it is because he is the only person in my life whom I have depended on all these years. I am a stay at home mom with a small job doing medical transcription at home so he is in control of most of our finances and that is not making matters any better. I cannot leave him because my parents were divorced when I was four years old and I just cannot do that to my daughters because I hardly know my father. He is a good father and he is crazy about our girls. I just don't think he is crazy about me anymore, even though he says he is. What I don't understand is how someone can be in love with you and just put you down all the time. He is getting more and more selfish, thinking of himself more than anyone else. Anyway, I used to take Effexor for about 10 months but I went off it about 3 months ago and I am still taking Klonopin 1 mg a day. My psychiatrist has just increased my Klonopin to see if this helps me but I don't know if it will help with the anger and irritability. I took Luvox for about 3-4 years for OCD symptoms because I worry and ruminate about a lot of things I cannot do anything about. I am wondering if I should try to go back on an antidepressant or just try the klonopin for a while and see how I do. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I am sorry this is such a lonnggg story. Thanks, jtc
>
>
Posted by Sam61 on June 30, 2003, at 6:44:50
In reply to Re: Effexor, Prozac, Zoloft...HELP!, posted by jtc on June 29, 2003, at 23:42:06
Hi ltleangel & Cher.
About a year and a half ago I developed anxiety/panic attacks/depression. Prior to that I do admit I really couldn't understand others who had this disorder so now I'm not that crushed if family/friends just don't get it.I was originally perscribed 20 mg Paxil/day and that was hell adjusting to that but anything felt better than the emotional trauma. Paxil worked great for about six months but I felt so dam tired all the time. It was really effecting my ability to do my job (concentrate etc). I then switched to Zoloft (100 mg/day). Started taking Zoloft the very next day. It seemed to work as far as not feeling so tired all the time but I had to keep uping the dosage. Eventually after about four months the Zoloft was doing absolutely nothing (even at 200 mg/day). I started back on the Paxil (at 10 mg/day)the next day. My MD thought my being tired may have been the anxiety and not the Paxil so we thought we'd give it another try. Eventually at 30 mg/day Paxil it wasn't working at all anymore. I started weening off Paxil this week. So I'll go for 7 days at 20 mg/day. Then a week of 10mg Paxil plus 37.5 mg/day of Effexor XR. Then 75 mg/day of just the Effexor XR. I'm praying this med works. I'll keep you posted on my progress.
Sam
> > Dear ltleangel,
> > Well, My thoughts are that it is a little of both. Zoloft made me very nauseous and very very light headed and dizzy, I threw up with it - I was only on it for 4 days. When I stopped taking it I ended up with stomach issues (diarrea for over a week. I was on Effexor after that for 6 days and my constant head zaps, throbbing in my head and my total feeling of crazy/everything is fine/i'm crazy/who cares/i'm crazy/my head is weird/who cares/crazy was non-stop. \
> >
> > When I stopped taking it I felt dizzy, emotional etc. Now, my anxiety attacks are really strong and I too have some major anger issues. I snap at everything now and feel so anxious, sad, angry, disgusted with myself for having a chemical imbalance.
> >
> > Please just try to remember YOU are not going nuts, the medicine has done lots to your brain and its adjusting from one med to another and off one med to another - its all of the above, withdrawals and getting used to another medicine. Good Luck to you, and please keep posting. Things do get better, (in some ways like the side effects) but the original reason I was on the med is back in full fury, and I'm running out of options.
> >
> > Hugs,
> > Cher
>
> Hi Cher,
> I am having the same problem as you in being that the original reason I was on Effexor and all other meds I have been on is back now also in full fury. I am depressed, anxious, having mild panic attacks, and angry and irritable most of the time. I cannot sleep at night, it is usually 12:30 when I go to sleep and I get up at 6:00 a.m. I also have crying spells. My anger is mostly with my husband of 18 years (a few years too many, ha ha) but unfortunately my anger is sometimes taken out on my two beautiful daughters, ages 9 and 4. They don't understand what has happened to their mother because I used to be a kind loving person and sometimes I still am but I find myself yelling at them very loudly and I have a very short fuse with them. My 9 year old is so upset that she thinks I don't love her dad anymore and that we are going to get a divorce. She is on Zoloft, about 2 cc a day, because of her anxiety. I have so much anger at my husband because of the way he does things and the way he treats me as if I am a child. He says things to me that are demeaning but he thinks that he has not done anything wrong. There are too many things to go into but I am 38 years old and I am getting tired of it. I don't mean to blame him but I have been on medications since I was about 22 (two years after our marriage). Things will get a little better between us but then he starts in on me and I have to go on medication to be able to deal with him. I take everything he says to me very seriously and I think it is because he is the only person in my life whom I have depended on all these years. I am a stay at home mom with a small job doing medical transcription at home so he is in control of most of our finances and that is not making matters any better. I cannot leave him because my parents were divorced when I was four years old and I just cannot do that to my daughters because I hardly know my father. He is a good father and he is crazy about our girls. I just don't think he is crazy about me anymore, even though he says he is. What I don't understand is how someone can be in love with you and just put you down all the time. He is getting more and more selfish, thinking of himself more than anyone else. Anyway, I used to take Effexor for about 10 months but I went off it about 3 months ago and I am still taking Klonopin 1 mg a day. My psychiatrist has just increased my Klonopin to see if this helps me but I don't know if it will help with the anger and irritability. I took Luvox for about 3-4 years for OCD symptoms because I worry and ruminate about a lot of things I cannot do anything about. I am wondering if I should try to go back on an antidepressant or just try the klonopin for a while and see how I do. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I am sorry this is such a lonnggg story. Thanks, jtc
> >
> >
>
>
Posted by CherC68 on June 30, 2003, at 11:10:13
In reply to Re: Effexor, Prozac, Zoloft...HELP!, posted by jtc on June 29, 2003, at 23:42:06
Dear JTC,
I'm so sorry JTC that you are having it so rough. My anger is mostly directed at myself, and I blow up in front of my husband & child, but make sure they know its me and not them.
I'm going to be 40 in August, and I found that exercising is the greatest therapy for anger issues. Whether it is a speed bag, kick boxing, yoga, weight lifting, swimming, or whatever. I know as an at-home mom its very hard to find the time. Some people would think, hell she doesn't work she has plenty of time. I work only 12-14 hours a week locally. I used to work full-time downtown Chicago - 2 hours of travel a day, etc., and I found the time to exercise. Since the depression and anxiety came back full throttle this year, I stopped exercising and starting eating! I exercised more working downtown.
Find the time to exercise. Doesn't matter if its going for a walk by yourself. Do it! I have gained over 100 pounds and my self-esteem and everything has gotten worse because of the depression. When I look back on my life, knowing I've had depression problems since the age of 4, the times I've had the least depression was the years I exercised. Being busy is not exercising. Doing everyday things is not exercising. Everytime I've exercised, it has helped me better than any medicine.
The problem is, when you have depression, exercise is the last thing you want to do. Start out slow, walking, or whatever else you can think of. That is what I have started to do, and my anger is diminishing. My crying jags are slowing down too!
As far as your husband is concerned, let him know immediately when he puts you down, that you don't appreciate it. Smile when you say it. Try to make sure the kids don't see you blow up. Especially if your one child has anxiety issues. If you are going to stay in the marriage, things have to change. Instead of yelling at your husband, smile and tell him, I would appreciate if you wouldn't put me down. It sure doesn't make you any better of a person, by putting me down. Smile when you say it. Eventually, he'll get the drift. Sometimes a smile and a soft voice goes way above yelling. Look him directly in the eye. Make sure he never puts you down in front of the kids. Tell him, if he has something negative to say, be mature, and do it in private. This way I can privately tell you to go to h***. LOL. (Sorry, I have a wicked sense of humor sometimes). I was married to a verbally abusive man, and sometimes physically abusive man. My son was almost 5 when we divorced. I exercised so much and changed my physical appearance, that my husband was too afraid to say boo to me, and of course, stopped pushing, smacking and verbally abusing me. I was too afraid to divorce him, but....exercising changed my appearance, gave me confidence and I got out of that abusive situation.
But, chemical imbalances suck and they always seem to creep back up. Diet & exercise are the key for those who cannot take medicine. I really truly believe it and am trying to push myself out of this fog now by exercise.
Take Care and if you want you can write to me at [email protected]
Posted by CherC68 on June 30, 2003, at 11:53:45
In reply to Re: Effexor, Prozac, Zoloft...HELP!, posted by Sam61 on June 30, 2003, at 6:44:50
Dear Sam,
I know what it is like to have your family not understand. My parents and my brothers don't seem to understand, but they all have OCD and borderline personality disturbances. My brothers use recreational things, drinking, pot, etc. and blame everything on everyone else. My parents think they are normal, but its obvious to others my mom is manic and my dad has OCD and anger issues, but they act like it is normal!
So, when I have depression and anxiety, they don't seem to understand, when I was four years old I started having panic attacks and extreme racing in my head and my heart. I tried for years to explain this to my parents. Four years old and telling my mom i'm dying inside and I feel like i'm going nuts. I received no help!
My husband does understand though because his mom is bi-polar/manic and takes medicine.
I've explained to my son that I am sorry that I get depressed and have anxiety, borderline personality and ocd, and he understands. I explained how old I was when it started. So far, I'm lucky, my son doesn't exhibit any signs of depression problems or OCD. I told him if he ever feels anxiety or stress to let me know immediately. I told him its in my brain chemistry and I just have to try to find ways to deal with it and that I appreciate him accepting me for me.
I'm sorry your family doesn't understand, but there are plenty of people out there that do. Maybe your family doesn't understand because inside they realize they have issues, and sometimes parents (especially parents) don't want to think they handed down something to you. That's the deal with my Mother, espcially. She feels guilt that I'm not "perfect", but even my father realizes he has problems and he knows my mom does too, but he thinks, that's just the way it is, deal with it!
Good luck to you, and keep me posted.
Hugs, Cher
Posted by melley on June 30, 2003, at 13:06:42
In reply to Re: Effexor, Prozac, Zoloft...HELP!, posted by Sam61 on June 30, 2003, at 6:44:50
Has anyone tried Sam-e? I am in a state of despair at the moment. Off effexor and on Wellbutrin. However, I am having joint pain and it might be a side effect of well. I am thinking of trying Sam-e, although I am sure my psychiatrist will have a cow when I suggest it. I feel badly about husbands being insensitive. Unfortunately, I think it is an all-too-common tale. Just being married can produce complacency in and of itself. But there is also this Mars/Venus thing which does have some truth.
> Hi ltleangel & Cher.
> About a year and a half ago I developed anxiety/panic attacks/depression. Prior to that I do admit I really couldn't understand others who had this disorder so now I'm not that crushed if family/friends just don't get it.
>
> I was originally perscribed 20 mg Paxil/day and that was hell adjusting to that but anything felt better than the emotional trauma. Paxil worked great for about six months but I felt so dam tired all the time. It was really effecting my ability to do my job (concentrate etc). I then switched to Zoloft (100 mg/day). Started taking Zoloft the very next day. It seemed to work as far as not feeling so tired all the time but I had to keep uping the dosage. Eventually after about four months the Zoloft was doing absolutely nothing (even at 200 mg/day). I started back on the Paxil (at 10 mg/day)the next day. My MD thought my being tired may have been the anxiety and not the Paxil so we thought we'd give it another try. Eventually at 30 mg/day Paxil it wasn't working at all anymore. I started weening off Paxil this week. So I'll go for 7 days at 20 mg/day. Then a week of 10mg Paxil plus 37.5 mg/day of Effexor XR. Then 75 mg/day of just the Effexor XR. I'm praying this med works. I'll keep you posted on my progress.
>
> Sam
> > > Dear ltleangel,
> > > Well, My thoughts are that it is a little of both. Zoloft made me very nauseous and very very light headed and dizzy, I threw up with it - I was only on it for 4 days. When I stopped taking it I ended up with stomach issues (diarrea for over a week. I was on Effexor after that for 6 days and my constant head zaps, throbbing in my head and my total feeling of crazy/everything is fine/i'm crazy/who cares/i'm crazy/my head is weird/who cares/crazy was non-stop. \
> > >
> > > When I stopped taking it I felt dizzy, emotional etc. Now, my anxiety attacks are really strong and I too have some major anger issues. I snap at everything now and feel so anxious, sad, angry, disgusted with myself for having a chemical imbalance.
> > >
> > > Please just try to remember YOU are not going nuts, the medicine has done lots to your brain and its adjusting from one med to another and off one med to another - its all of the above, withdrawals and getting used to another medicine. Good Luck to you, and please keep posting. Things do get better, (in some ways like the side effects) but the original reason I was on the med is back in full fury, and I'm running out of options.
> > >
> > > Hugs,
> > > Cher
> >
> > Hi Cher,
> > I am having the same problem as you in being that the original reason I was on Effexor and all other meds I have been on is back now also in full fury. I am depressed, anxious, having mild panic attacks, and angry and irritable most of the time. I cannot sleep at night, it is usually 12:30 when I go to sleep and I get up at 6:00 a.m. I also have crying spells. My anger is mostly with my husband of 18 years (a few years too many, ha ha) but unfortunately my anger is sometimes taken out on my two beautiful daughters, ages 9 and 4. They don't understand what has happened to their mother because I used to be a kind loving person and sometimes I still am but I find myself yelling at them very loudly and I have a very short fuse with them. My 9 year old is so upset that she thinks I don't love her dad anymore and that we are going to get a divorce. She is on Zoloft, about 2 cc a day, because of her anxiety. I have so much anger at my husband because of the way he does things and the way he treats me as if I am a child. He says things to me that are demeaning but he thinks that he has not done anything wrong. There are too many things to go into but I am 38 years old and I am getting tired of it. I don't mean to blame him but I have been on medications since I was about 22 (two years after our marriage). Things will get a little better between us but then he starts in on me and I have to go on medication to be able to deal with him. I take everything he says to me very seriously and I think it is because he is the only person in my life whom I have depended on all these years. I am a stay at home mom with a small job doing medical transcription at home so he is in control of most of our finances and that is not making matters any better. I cannot leave him because my parents were divorced when I was four years old and I just cannot do that to my daughters because I hardly know my father. He is a good father and he is crazy about our girls. I just don't think he is crazy about me anymore, even though he says he is. What I don't understand is how someone can be in love with you and just put you down all the time. He is getting more and more selfish, thinking of himself more than anyone else. Anyway, I used to take Effexor for about 10 months but I went off it about 3 months ago and I am still taking Klonopin 1 mg a day. My psychiatrist has just increased my Klonopin to see if this helps me but I don't know if it will help with the anger and irritability. I took Luvox for about 3-4 years for OCD symptoms because I worry and ruminate about a lot of things I cannot do anything about. I am wondering if I should try to go back on an antidepressant or just try the klonopin for a while and see how I do. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I am sorry this is such a lonnggg story. Thanks, jtc
> > >
> > >
> >
> >
>
>
Posted by Susy on June 30, 2003, at 14:23:27
In reply to Re: Effexor, Prozac, Zoloft...HELP!, posted by jtc on June 29, 2003, at 23:42:06
Hi JTC, it is really sad when we have to live feeling this way, it seems that nobody understand, but it is still worst when the person who is next to you instead of giving support and love makes you feel even worst.
My situation is desperate because I am from Spain and been living in Los Angeles for 14 yrs already.
I don't even have a pschiatric doctor. And I don't know where to go! Like three yrs ago I went with this dr who said I was not dying but suffering panic attacks, he gave me Xanax, that I
have been taking for more than2 yrs already, but lately I have been feeling so terrible, I am not even working right now, because the attacks appear at any time in any place. So I went to this other Dr.and she said that I have to go to a Mental Health place, but she helped me out giving me a box of Paxil Cr 25 mg. I try it, but God, I couldn't stand it! I just try them once I am so affraid to try again, I don't want to experience again that symptons like magnifying my panic attack 100 times more.
Rigth now I don't even want to see my boyfriend anymore, even though I do love him he tells me all the time That I always feel sick, and blame me for everything until the point where I feel very humiliated.
Everytime I have a fight with him I think I am going to die because he let me feeling at the border of a heart attack or something similar, so I decided, even if it hurts a lot,I don't need a
person like him in my life, he just makes me feel worse.
About the Drs and meds I will really appreciate if some of you can tell me where can I go to follow my treatment. Lately I have been feeling that Xanax is not helping anymore.
I am not even eating, I dón't feel hungry, and I've been with diarrhea for about a month, a lot of headaches and panic attacks almost everyday.
It is very hard to live this way. I will love to go and work everyday like any normal person.Susy
Posted by racergurl74 on June 30, 2003, at 15:59:22
In reply to Re: Effexor, Prozac, Zoloft...HELP!, posted by melley on June 30, 2003, at 13:06:42
I agree with the Mars/Venus story. I read the book and it changed my outlook 100%. Dr. Phil also helps women understand men and their differences. I haven't read his book but I know he has one. I watch his show and he helps me. Men ARE different than women and sometimes the way we (women) react to them controls how they treat us.
Posted by zinya on June 30, 2003, at 21:48:14
In reply to Re: Effexor, Prozac, Zoloft...HELP!, posted by jtc on June 29, 2003, at 23:42:06
hi JTC,
gosh, i'm just back to our line here and i can't believe so much time has lapsed since i last wrote and wonder what that itself says about where i'm at with this drug that i was so unaware of how many days had gone without touching bases here. Hm
more on that in a bit or another post.
I'm so moved by your situation, jtc. I was in a very emotionally and occasionally physically abusive marriage myself, eons ago now, but it is etched enough that i can't help projecting and feeling the trauma of your angst. But i also don't want to presume anything given that of course every situation is unique. (e.g., I had migraines the whole last 5 years of my marriage; they stopped about a month after i left. But i don't say this in any way to encourage separation; as you'll see in a minute i root for trying other things.)
I saw that Cher had responded to you so I've also read her post first before writing and I quite agree with what she said, and will say a bit more in responding to her...
But a few other reactions: Do you ever get more than the 5-1/2 hrs sleep a night you referred to? Over time, it seems that that could be a deficit that is making you never feel truly "fresh" -- and i realize, believe me, that even if you think that might be a factor, it doesn't mean there's a solution. Some people are truly great and fine on 5 hrs a night -- and i myself used to be for long stretches at least -- but i also know that some can convince themselves they're okay but in fact that just isn't enough sleep to not be taking a toll that might not be obvious but is there...
Second, and if you've read me before i realize i might start sounding like a chamber of commerce for counselors or something cuz i keep making this pitch, but I sure hope you're seeing a marriage counselor that maybe you didn't mention ??? Your situation cries out for at least giving that a try -- and if your shrink hasn't even suggested that, i'd think less of your shrink if i were you (excuse the gratuitous "extra" :)) ... My husband refused to see a shrink until it was too late and i'd reached the point that i just left. Then he was not only willing but begging to try therapy and i did but it really was too late (although actually i think we simply were never a good pairing to begin with so it really didn't matter). But i would understand if that was your situation - i have married friends and know just generally too that it's almost always a man's reaction to drag his heels about thinking counseling/therapy would provide any answers. But i'd say it's a must, if i dare to speak so boldly without knowing you or your situation. Your kids need for you both to do it, and it's clearly a need for both, not just one of you, to undertake. My own preference would always be for a therapy situation where you occasionally meet the therapist together but also meet individually as well -- and it's important that you both at least respect if not outright like the counselor. I urge you to consider this if you haven't already.
And part of it is that i get the sense that you are (as many women do) taking this all on as your problem that drugs alone will deal with when you have real communication traumas here on a daily basis that need urgent attention, it seems to me. And without shame or blame. NONE of us get marital communication training. Everyone (or almost) goes into marriage with expectations that are mostly unrealizable. And the result is old tapes of one's own childhood instincts about what spouses do, based largely on one's own parents' patterns -- which are always totally different than your spouse's parents' patterns were and thus lead to mismatched old tapes each of you operate on, largely unconsciously. And i think we all need and can benefit from outside guidance and perspective in order to try to figure out when half the time a husband is yelling at a wife, half of what he's angry about is old stuff from his own chldhood surfacing and turning "normal" disagreement into the over-the-top kind of stuff. And same for wives with husbands. Actually, my view is that in almost any relationship, when someone really Loses it, flies off the handle, "overreacts" to situations with excess anger or rage or disrespectful response (or "treating the other like a child"), that it's almost always cuz of something in their own childhood that is getting tapped. And that half the battle is taking the time and with guidance from a therapist to at least recognize those flash points as being largely about old stuff... and how it can sabotage a current dynamic that doesn't merit and won't survive such strain. (The ole 6 people enter a marriage bed "joke")
I hope i'm not overreacting here myself to your situation, but this is what I hear and offer as my instinctive response to what you've written.
Wishing you well, sending big hugs of warm support, and hoping I have overstepped,
zinya
p.s. One other suggestion: I think it is underestimated how important it is to LISTEN to one's children. If you haven't done this already -- or even if you have, doing it often is good too, I would encourage you to ask your 9 yr old to tell you her anxieties, what exactly she fears might happen, how she reacts when she hears the discord or sees you upset. Let her talk for as long as she can and wants without interrupting her or explaining or defending until she "runs out of things to say" and then first tell her back what you hear her saying, to acknowledge that you HEAR her so she feels heard -- that, imo, is almost as important as anything -- and THEN, only THEN, respond to her concerns and give her your explanations and tell her YOUR feelings (about what she has said), etc. I think this is an almost guaranteed way of helping kids know that they can tell you their fears without getting 'cut off' or shot shrift, etc. and kids need it -- to feel heard -- SO much more than adults ever realize or make time for. It's not something to feel guilty about, but to try to improve as soon and much as possible.
(more 2 cents' worth from yours truly :))
z
Posted by zinya on June 30, 2003, at 22:01:30
In reply to Re: Effexor, Prozac, Zoloft...HELP!, posted by jtc on June 29, 2003, at 23:42:06
p.s. JTC:
Obviously, the "technique" for listening that i suggested to try with your 9-year-old would be something to do in modified form with your 4-year-old too as she's already at an age that she can start having anxieties she might not be voicing, and it would be good for her to learn already it's truly okay for her to talk about them to you...
And the "technique" is originally one for use with couples, so if you follow Cher's advice and encourage having the conflicts with your husband happen when you two are alone, you could also add trying this technique to the suggestions Cher already made. Model it by asking him first to be the talker, ask him to lay out what's bothering him, listen to him without interrupting, and then tell him back what you hear him saying, let him "correct" anything he realizes by hearing back from you might sound different than he intended, and then respond to his "complaints" -- by telling him now it's his turn to listen until you finish and then he can tell you what he heard you saying, etc. THEN if you have your own extra issues with him that didn't already emerge in responding to what he brought up, you can repeat the whole cycle by starting with your turn to tell him what's bothering you about him (some of which may already have come up so don't rehash again in same setting).
I do think your marital situation needs outside counseling from what i hear, but this is a strategy often employed and imo the single best 'technique' any duo can learn to apply -- in either "set-aside time" in a kind of formal way following all the "rules" or as needed, in an adapted way that gradually teaches people to listen more fully without interruption before responding and to first say back what you heard bfore rebutting or countering...
well, i guess that's more 4 cents' worth :)
z
Posted by zinya on June 30, 2003, at 22:40:45
In reply to Re: Effexor, Prozac, Zoloft...HELP! JTC, posted by CherC68 on June 30, 2003, at 11:10:13
hi Cher,
gosh, i'm learning new things about people here today by the bushel... I just wrote back JTC directly and added a few things to your encouragements here, which i wholly support too.
But i also wanting to comment to you directly on hearing what you've said about the weight issue in particular. I've also "been there" and empathize with what it does to one's psyche and how it alone can cause depression but i do also think it can be a symptom and effect of depression as much as a cause. And in addition to the vital importance of exercise, i totally agree, the first other thing i thought of as I read your words here was to wonder if you've ever read about what some doctors in published books have called "yeast syndrome" -- not yeast infection but yeast SYNDROME (or Candida).... Have you heard of it?
If you've had yeast infections it could be an additional sign of the broader syndrome -- the first yeast infection of my life at age 42 after 11 days on the wrong antibiotic for a bronchial thing led me to discover the whole broader syndrome and a doctor who totally believed in it and getting and reading a couple of books on it. And while traditionalist doctors probably still are clueless about it, I think there's some credence to it. AND the theory of it accounts for some propensities toward depression, etc. as well.
But it's a much broader thing than yeast infection and men can have the yeast syndrome too. Basically it manifests in a craving for certain foods which are yeast-producing in the body -- which doesn't mean the prodcuts themselves have yeast in them but they are converted in the body into yeast and in the intestinal tract can trigger an insatiable self-perpetuating appetite for that which "feeds it" ... It's a complete imbalance in the system based largely on sugars and also fungal things like mushrooms or bacon or also fermented things like vinegar. To this day, i still avoid mushrooms, vinegar and the third no-no food which escapes me now :)) BAck in '89 when i fell upon this, i pretty rigidly adhered to the diet (which isn't really that hard - it's eliminating selective things but it's a little tricky ... but IF it could be a factor, it could be worth factoring in awareness of this syndrome in choosing what you eat and don't eat as yet another component of dealing with body imbalances. I do think that is another one. I did after a couple years resume some of the things that i'd given up for that year or two but i think (knock on wood, 13 years later) i did break the worst of that cycle, as i've never had the same kind of craving cycles ever again. It made quite a difference in my life.
So, for what it's worth... I'm afraid my copy of the book is packed away .. OH, but wait, I just remembered there's a technique here - if I put it in double quotes, the post will locate it in amazon.com, so what the hell :)) ... I think the one I liked the best was "The Yeast Connection" by Crook (I see he has several books now and the one I read is probably outdated -- I checked one at random but you could glance through them all on amazon and see if any interested you -- or whoever's reading this and interested too) and the other was called "The Yeast Syndrome"
many hugs and more later,
z
Posted by RealTim on July 1, 2003, at 0:03:36
In reply to Anyone had success on Effexor XR? , posted by jp on October 24, 1999, at 14:59:14
I just wanted to share in case someone else has similar symptoms and wants to quit.
First, I started on Effexor for job-related anxiety. I had been feeling better for 4-6 months when I noticed that even being late for a dose would result in severe withdrawls symptoms. Flu-like in terms of nausea, light headed, dizzy, no appetite. The worst was the sleeplessness, and when sleep did come it was disturbed by vivid nightmares.
It took missing 2 doses to realize there was a pattern, and it was the missed dose. I just figured I had a 24 hour flu bug the first time.
I also had experienced weight gain (180lbs to 200), digestive problems (gas mostly) and sleep problems (not enough of it).
I tried quitting cold turkey when I did my homework on this, but by the 3rd day nausea was so severe I chickened out and swallowed a pill.
Since then, I have gradually decreased my dose from 150mg to 37.5mg. When I went from 150mg to 100mg there was no side effects. Same with 100 to 75. But when I cut down to 37.5 I was feeling intermittent withdrawal symptoms, but nowhere near on the same scale as before.
I did 37.5 for about 4 weeks and then stopped. That was a week ago. At first the withdrawal came pretty strong, but only half as bad as before. Dizzy
After three days it got modestly better, and each day the symptoms would be a little less. The best part, sleep was never that bad. A little rough the first night, but nothing like when I missed that 150mg dose.
So based on another posting this means I am one of 5% of Euro descent who is a "fast metabolizer"?
I'll post again once the symptoms are totally gone.
Posted by zinya on July 1, 2003, at 2:39:09
In reply to Re: Effexor, Prozac, Zoloft...HELP!, posted by Susy on June 30, 2003, at 14:23:27
Gosh, Susy, lo siento mucho!
(Be careful, my Spanish is limited :)
Do you have insurance here? Could you go to a place like UCLA for treatment where a larger range of doctors might be of some help?
I had a gynecologist there once who was quite good and a good basis for referral then elsewhere if you need to see other specialists.
What most alarms me is your saying you've had diarrhea for a MONTH! Wow. That sounds potentially serious. And if you've told that to a doctor and nothing has been tested, then I think that is a doctor who isn't treating you seriously. I would think your goal should be to find either an endocrinologist or a psychiatrist ... and have someone check this diarrhea situation and probably the headaches too. It sounds like they've persisted way too long.
If you're anywhere near UCLA and you could be covered to go there, and you were interested, I could look up the name again of my gynecologist there -- I haven't seen her in over 10 years and i'm not sure she's still there but she might be, and I do have her name somewhere.
If I've said anything you don't understand, ask me. I can try to resay it in Spanish (I speak Portuguese and sometimes I can wing it -- improvise -- in Spanish).
con abrazos!
zinya
Posted by jtc on July 1, 2003, at 7:52:58
In reply to Re: Effexor, Prozac, Zoloft...HELP! » jtc, posted by zinya on June 30, 2003, at 21:48:14
> hi JTC,
>
> gosh, i'm just back to our line here and i can't believe so much time has lapsed since i last wrote and wonder what that itself says about where i'm at with this drug that i was so unaware of how many days had gone without touching bases here. Hm
>
> more on that in a bit or another post.
>
> I'm so moved by your situation, jtc. I was in a very emotionally and occasionally physically abusive marriage myself, eons ago now, but it is etched enough that i can't help projecting and feeling the trauma of your angst. But i also don't want to presume anything given that of course every situation is unique. (e.g., I had migraines the whole last 5 years of my marriage; they stopped about a month after i left. But i don't say this in any way to encourage separation; as you'll see in a minute i root for trying other things.)
>
> I saw that Cher had responded to you so I've also read her post first before writing and I quite agree with what she said, and will say a bit more in responding to her...
>
> But a few other reactions: Do you ever get more than the 5-1/2 hrs sleep a night you referred to? Over time, it seems that that could be a deficit that is making you never feel truly "fresh" -- and i realize, believe me, that even if you think that might be a factor, it doesn't mean there's a solution. Some people are truly great and fine on 5 hrs a night -- and i myself used to be for long stretches at least -- but i also know that some can convince themselves they're okay but in fact that just isn't enough sleep to not be taking a toll that might not be obvious but is there...
>
> Second, and if you've read me before i realize i might start sounding like a chamber of commerce for counselors or something cuz i keep making this pitch, but I sure hope you're seeing a marriage counselor that maybe you didn't mention ??? Your situation cries out for at least giving that a try -- and if your shrink hasn't even suggested that, i'd think less of your shrink if i were you (excuse the gratuitous "extra" :)) ... My husband refused to see a shrink until it was too late and i'd reached the point that i just left. Then he was not only willing but begging to try therapy and i did but it really was too late (although actually i think we simply were never a good pairing to begin with so it really didn't matter). But i would understand if that was your situation - i have married friends and know just generally too that it's almost always a man's reaction to drag his heels about thinking counseling/therapy would provide any answers. But i'd say it's a must, if i dare to speak so boldly without knowing you or your situation. Your kids need for you both to do it, and it's clearly a need for both, not just one of you, to undertake. My own preference would always be for a therapy situation where you occasionally meet the therapist together but also meet individually as well -- and it's important that you both at least respect if not outright like the counselor. I urge you to consider this if you haven't already.
>
> And part of it is that i get the sense that you are (as many women do) taking this all on as your problem that drugs alone will deal with when you have real communication traumas here on a daily basis that need urgent attention, it seems to me. And without shame or blame. NONE of us get marital communication training. Everyone (or almost) goes into marriage with expectations that are mostly unrealizable. And the result is old tapes of one's own childhood instincts about what spouses do, based largely on one's own parents' patterns -- which are always totally different than your spouse's parents' patterns were and thus lead to mismatched old tapes each of you operate on, largely unconsciously. And i think we all need and can benefit from outside guidance and perspective in order to try to figure out when half the time a husband is yelling at a wife, half of what he's angry about is old stuff from his own chldhood surfacing and turning "normal" disagreement into the over-the-top kind of stuff. And same for wives with husbands. Actually, my view is that in almost any relationship, when someone really Loses it, flies off the handle, "overreacts" to situations with excess anger or rage or disrespectful response (or "treating the other like a child"), that it's almost always cuz of something in their own childhood that is getting tapped. And that half the battle is taking the time and with guidance from a therapist to at least recognize those flash points as being largely about old stuff... and how it can sabotage a current dynamic that doesn't merit and won't survive such strain. (The ole 6 people enter a marriage bed "joke")
>
> I hope i'm not overreacting here myself to your situation, but this is what I hear and offer as my instinctive response to what you've written.
>
> Wishing you well, sending big hugs of warm support, and hoping I have overstepped,
>
> zinya
>
> p.s. One other suggestion: I think it is underestimated how important it is to LISTEN to one's children. If you haven't done this already -- or even if you have, doing it often is good too, I would encourage you to ask your 9 yr old to tell you her anxieties, what exactly she fears might happen, how she reacts when she hears the discord or sees you upset. Let her talk for as long as she can and wants without interrupting her or explaining or defending until she "runs out of things to say" and then first tell her back what you hear her saying, to acknowledge that you HEAR her so she feels heard -- that, imo, is almost as important as anything -- and THEN, only THEN, respond to her concerns and give her your explanations and tell her YOUR feelings (about what she has said), etc. I think this is an almost guaranteed way of helping kids know that they can tell you their fears without getting 'cut off' or shot shrift, etc. and kids need it -- to feel heard -- SO much more than adults ever realize or make time for. It's not something to feel guilty about, but to try to improve as soon and much as possible.
>
> (more 2 cents' worth from yours truly :))
> zHi Zinya,
I truly appreciate your input. I have suggested counseling for my husband and I but he thinks I am the one who needs to go to counseling and not him so I in turn get depressed and feel stuck in the situation and then have to start taking meds again. I am on klonopin right now, 1 mg a day. My psychiatrist suggested to just take the klonopin for a while rather than going back on antidepressant. I just stopped effexor about 3 months ago. Anyway my husband says that he has always "babied" me and he is just not going to do it anymore. He says that I need to stand up to him about things. It is almost as if he wants to make me mad but then he says he loves me and our girls very much. He just thinks there is nothing wrong with what he is doing. When his parents used to be married his father used to treat his mother the same way he is treating me, teasing her, etc. He is a lot like his mother and his father both. I have known them all a very long time, about 25 years. He is my only boyfriend, the only person I have ever been with or dated. We have too much of a history together to let it end. I am just going to have to try to ignore some things he says to me. That is what my psychiatrist has told me also, that I let things people say or do bother me too much. As for my daughter, I always talk to her at length about her feelings which is the opposite of what my husband does. He thinks I should not go on and on with her about things. He just pushes under the rug for later, and we all know what can happen later on if things are not dealt with. So I do not listen to him when he is trying to tell me how to talk to our daughter. I just use my best judgment which may not be the best thing but it is all that I know to do. I think my husband is dealing with a lot of childhood stuff, as I am also, but he will sit and tell me that his childhood has nothing to do with it. His parents were married for 35 years and then split up. My husband is 39 soon to be 40 and he just will not talk to me about anything that his mother or father are doing (such as their lives) because he thinks I am going to tell everyone and talk about them. We do not even live near them. They are in Florida and we are in North Carolina. He just does not trust me and I do not trust him either sometimes. I think we do need to go counseling. I am going to suggest that again to him but I am almost sure of what he will say, that I need to go and not him. It really is a money thing with him where he thinks it is just a waste of money and that the counselor is just trying to get you to keep coming back to get your money. Perhaps I will go when I can afford it. I think our real problem is money. We are in a house that we cannot really afford. He says we can afford it but we don't have finances to do anything else. He says he is happy to be in a nice house and I do like our neighborhood but it is getting to the point that I do not like the house anymore because of the money problems. I really don't like to say this about my husband but he is selfish. We were going to go the Florida Keys for a family vacation but he decided it was too expensive to stay there, we were only going for two nights and visiting family in Palm Beach, but the next week he bought a bought a 600.00 racing bike because he has gotten interested in triathlons which is great but if I had purchased something that was 600.00 it would have been a BIG problem. He said he would enjoy his bike so much more than spending 300.00 on a two night in the Florida Keys. If that does not sound selfish then I don't know what does. I better go before I get any more angrier. But anyway, sorry to keep rambling on and on. Thanks so much for your advice and I will think about it. I wish the best for you and keep me posted...
jtcp.s. I think I am going to try to go back to school because if I had a better job then I would not have to ask him for money. He thinks I just spend money like crazy but it is all for my girls (clothes, books, etc..) I also thinks he likes having control over me with the money situation.
Also to Cher, Thanks so much for your advice. It helps me so much to read your postings and I wish the best for you also. Keep up the exercise, I have been running about 5-7 miles a week because I think I am going to try to do a 5K run in September in Wilmington, NC. Anyway take care and keep me posted, jtc
Posted by jtc on July 1, 2003, at 7:57:29
In reply to Re: Effexor, Prozac, Zoloft...HELP! p.s. to » jtc, posted by zinya on June 30, 2003, at 22:01:30
> p.s. JTC:
>
> Obviously, the "technique" for listening that i suggested to try with your 9-year-old would be something to do in modified form with your 4-year-old too as she's already at an age that she can start having anxieties she might not be voicing, and it would be good for her to learn already it's truly okay for her to talk about them to you...
>
> And the "technique" is originally one for use with couples, so if you follow Cher's advice and encourage having the conflicts with your husband happen when you two are alone, you could also add trying this technique to the suggestions Cher already made. Model it by asking him first to be the talker, ask him to lay out what's bothering him, listen to him without interrupting, and then tell him back what you hear him saying, let him "correct" anything he realizes by hearing back from you might sound different than he intended, and then respond to his "complaints" -- by telling him now it's his turn to listen until you finish and then he can tell you what he heard you saying, etc. THEN if you have your own extra issues with him that didn't already emerge in responding to what he brought up, you can repeat the whole cycle by starting with your turn to tell him what's bothering you about him (some of which may already have come up so don't rehash again in same setting).
>
> I do think your marital situation needs outside counseling from what i hear, but this is a strategy often employed and imo the single best 'technique' any duo can learn to apply -- in either "set-aside time" in a kind of formal way following all the "rules" or as needed, in an adapted way that gradually teaches people to listen more fully without interruption before responding and to first say back what you heard bfore rebutting or countering...
>
> well, i guess that's more 4 cents' worth :)
> zZ,
Thanks for the advice. I will try it. I really appreciate it. Thanks again and God Bless...
jtc
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