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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
[email protected]Shown: posts 178 to 202 of 948. Go back in thread:
Posted by jaye on June 23, 2003, at 16:43:02
In reply to Re: rapid cycling and mind noise, posted by ELENI4 on June 23, 2003, at 15:42:48
I try to think of mind noise the way I think about my tintinitus (sp?), that is, the constant ringing in my ears.
When I'm busy with a project or with people or reading or listening to good music (focused) I don't notice it as much. Somehow it just doesn't drive me crazy any more.
Of course, sometimes I answer "THAT makes sense" or "SHUT UP!" or "That's BS". I've had a year of zen style therapy and learned to use meditation instead of medication, so maybe that's where my new found tolerance has come from.
Posted by jaye on June 23, 2003, at 16:50:13
In reply to Re: Cyclothymia mood stabilizers » Jaye, posted by SeaShell on April 28, 2003, at 9:13:03
>
> Thanks Jaye,
> It's nice to hear. I sometimes feel my only hope is she'll get better as she gets older. It all started with her very young but peaked between 10 - 12. I'd be happy to hear from you and also have someone to ask for advice from when needed. Thanks again, Shelley
>
> Shelley, I don't visit this site often and just saw your response. Hope all's well or as well as can be expected and you and your daughter are experiencing relief from time to time.Jaye
Posted by Craig Allen on June 24, 2003, at 19:43:04
In reply to Re: rapid cycling and mind noise, posted by ELENI4 on June 23, 2003, at 15:42:48
that thing about you hearing music in your head, often with lyrics, i have that too. i've never given it any thought but maybe it is related to my brain problems. just to clarify - i don't ever really think that i'm hearing music. i know it's internal, same for you? but i have to say, it is playing in my head probably 80% of the time when i'm awake.
Posted by cleo on July 3, 2003, at 19:21:20
In reply to Re: rapid cycling and mind noise, posted by Ritch on September 26, 2002, at 10:34:05
> What kind of meds are you on? Antidepressants can trigger a lot of the stuff you are talking about in bipolar folks. The "mind noise" I get are fragments of intrusive music that loop and play over and over and drive me nuts. Also, any thinking processes that were going on while I was working seem to stay in there and continue working on problems trying to solve them somehow. It is like my short-term memory buffer is expanded way too much and doesn't get cleaned out. It is this "continuing to consider" type of thing. Sometimes I have to shut off the TV and not play any music CD's all day to let my mind "quiet out". All of this stuff only happens when I am having hypomanic symptoms. I was checking an epilepsy web-site and they mentioned avoiding excessive exposure to music to prevent seizures (I thought that was odd). There are some other things too.. lately I have been getting these "flashes" of an intrusive image of a car wreck I was in a long time ago. Another analogy of what it feels like is a walkie-talkie where the "squelch" control is altered and you start picking up all sorts of extraneous stuff that you don't want to consider or hear. Yet another analogy I thought of is staring into a pool of water at your reflection while it is raining. If it gets to raining too much all the wavelets from the rain breakup the image so much you can hardly recognize it.
I agree so much about the mind trying to solve different problems all the time.My mind never stops doing that. It's like I'm having a coversation with myself. Is that what you mean? Does anyone experience that? My lips even move to what is being said. I also feel things. While I was asleep, I felt a hard thump on my chest that woke me up. I looked around and of course, no one was there. I thought it was a ghost or something. I am so preoccupied with what is going on in my mind that I can hardly listen to what others are saying or read one sentence. The words make NO sense to me.
Posted by jaye on July 3, 2003, at 19:49:09
In reply to Re: rapid cycling and mind noise » Ritch, posted by cleo on July 3, 2003, at 19:21:20
yeah, I have that too, but what to do? sugar and coffee make it worse. Sometimes I hear someone calling my name or tapping me on the shoulder and other stuff.I have "something" that sits or stands behind me and looks over my right shoulder. ghost? guide? or Just Plain Nuts! ya gotta say oh well... I mean by paying attention to this phenomenon you make it worse. Just consider yourself neuotic or a person with a complex and go on with your life.
or just think of yourself as special in a good way, not like the boring "macdonalds" crowd. you're a creative person in touch with reality in a shaministic way. go forth in joy! (or something like that : )
Posted by Barbara Cat on July 4, 2003, at 11:08:46
In reply to Re: rapid cycling and mind noise, posted by ELENI4 on June 23, 2003, at 15:42:48
I take lithium and occasionally have metal mouth. It's accompanied by unquenchible thirst. My mouth feels sticky and my breath comes out sharp and hot ('Ugh! Hon, do you know your breath is bad?', as my husband keeps reminding me). It's not all the time. The thing is, I used to get this occasionally even before I went on lithium, usually when I was out of my mind with panic attacks and severe agitated depression. Someone once told me that this could be due to mercury amalgam fillings. I don't know.
What to do about it? I drink 8 oz hot water with 1/2 lemon squeezed into it (gotta be fresh lemon) in the morning, sometimes with fresh ginger water as well (simmer fresh peeled chopped ginger for 20 min.). This seems to balance the chemistry. Then I chew xylitol gum I get from my natural foods market. This keeps the saliva going and neutralizes the metal taste. I guess regular gum would help too as long as it's not full of crap. Xylitol however is getting good marks for preventing tooth and gum problems among other good things. Somthing else to do is to chew well and swallow fresh parsley or drink parsley tea. Parsley has alot of cholophyll which neutralizes bad breath and bad stomach, and it's a great nerve tonic as well. - BCat
>I took Lithium briefly to stabilize my moods, but developed "metal mouth" and decided the metallic taste was too bothersome to continue. I guess that's another question. If someone out there has taken Lithium and also developed metal mouth, does it go away? I was only on a very low dose of 300mg and the taste came on after only three to five days.
>
>
>
Posted by Barbara Cat on July 4, 2003, at 11:32:28
In reply to Re: rapid cycling and mind noise, posted by jaye on July 3, 2003, at 19:49:09
All this is fascinating. I've heard incredible celestial music like I was wearing head phones. I've had a woman in my left ear and a man in my right keeping up a constant patter to each other, and to me. Sometimes almost indistinct but other times as clear as a bell. They were very friendly and I enjoyed their company. They would sometimes tell me things that were going to happen, and they did, but mostly it was just a pleasant conversation about this and that. Some might dismiss it with 'Oh yeah, a schizoid moment', but there's more to it than that. It was all very coherant.
There were other times when I felt someone in back of me, to the right, whispering my name. Sometimes I could feel his breath on my neck. This was not a nice visitation. It scared the living daylights out of me. There was also other paranormal stuff happening that I can't explain. I was going through a very discordant agitated state and like poltergeist phenomena, I believe that my intense electric field was projecting and attracting very weird energies.
Someone also mentioned intrusive looping thoughts of a car accident. This sounds alot like PTSD. It's classic, in fact, and referred to as PTSD flashbacks, where the violent scene keeps looping through your head or unexpectantly intruding. It wants to be resolved. I went through a series of EMDR sessions which really helped clean out some (not all) of the violence I was reliving over and over from my childhood abuse. That stuff doesn't usually come up until something in you is ready to deal with it. - Barbara
Posted by Barbara Cat on July 4, 2003, at 11:45:45
In reply to Re: rapid cycling and mind noise » Ritch, posted by cleo on July 3, 2003, at 19:21:20
For anyone who has had this mind noise stuff, did you have a head injury before it started? Maybe fell on your head as a child, or hit hard on the face or head? A woman I know is a very powerful psychic, used by the police and the FBI. She said her psychic abilities started in her 30s when she fell off a horse and sustained head injuries and concussion. They started with voices in her head and progressed to the point where she decided to go through formal training to channel these strange occurances. This head scrambling has been documented in many other psychic's lives - not only head injuries, but a massive scrambling of brain functions accompanied by chaotic mood disorders. When it reordered itself, they had a new sensitivity, able to pick up 'other channels' on their neural TV set. There's even some very interesting research done on this by a physicist, last name Prigogine, on chaos and new level of reordering. Something to think about.
Posted by alylene on July 5, 2003, at 23:06:46
In reply to Re: Cyclothymia mood stabilizers » Jaye, posted by SeaShell on April 28, 2003, at 9:13:03
I am just wondering if anyone has little kids? I was not diagnosed until the birth of my second child, just over two years ago, and the stress of child rearing has nearly killed me. All the books say, change your lifestyle, switch jobs if you need to...whatever it takes to cut down on the stress that can trigger you episodes. Well, obviously, I can't cut out my kids, but that is without a doubt, the biggest stress in my life. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my kids....but motherhood is another story.
Any words of wisdom or encouragement would help. I know it will get easier, but I have a four year old and a two year old. I can't work full time, so full time day care is out of the question. I do have them in a two day a week pre-school (which is out for the summer). And, I have a wonderful husband who helps a lot...but with my head issues, it is never enough.Help!!!
Posted by KimberlyDi on July 7, 2003, at 9:21:12
In reply to mind noise - any head traumas?, posted by Barbara Cat on July 4, 2003, at 11:45:45
When I was a little girl I was bounced on the bed by my dad. He would flip me over and let me fall on the bed. Only one time, I bounced across the bed and landed on my head on the floor. I was also bucked off a horse during my childhood and lost consciousness. Came to with the horse pawing me gently and nuzzling me with his nose. I must have been out for awhile for him to get curious about why I wasn't moving. I don't get psychic impressions from objects or know where dead bodies are buried. I'm just very intuitive and have strong pattern recognition. I can usually tell when someone's lying because I have this mental radar. It *pings* back to me when something is off or just doesn't make sense.
Kim
Wires crossed because of head injury or just plain crazy? Who knows.
> For anyone who has had this mind noise stuff, did you have a head injury before it started? Maybe fell on your head as a child, or hit hard on the face or head? A woman I know is a very powerful psychic, used by the police and the FBI. She said her psychic abilities started in her 30s when she fell off a horse and sustained head injuries and concussion. They started with voices in her head and progressed to the point where she decided to go through formal training to channel these strange occurances. This head scrambling has been documented in many other psychic's lives - not only head injuries, but a massive scrambling of brain functions accompanied by chaotic mood disorders. When it reordered itself, they had a new sensitivity, able to pick up 'other channels' on their neural TV set. There's even some very interesting research done on this by a physicist, last name Prigogine, on chaos and new level of reordering. Something to think about.
Posted by KimberlyDi on July 7, 2003, at 9:32:05
In reply to Kids!!!, posted by alylene on July 5, 2003, at 23:06:46
Be a tag team with your husband. Switch off and on with some child-raising responsibilities. Make sure you know that you have some free time, quiet time or fun time, for you to look forward too when you are getting stressed. Then make sure you make time for just you and your husband. Even if it means getting a babysitter once a month to enable you & hubby to go on a date, together! Get a therapist to talk to about homelife stress. Little things will begin to add up to make a more enjoyable life.
Good luck!
Kim
p.s. ooops, no meds in this discussion, am i going to get my first redirect?> I am just wondering if anyone has little kids? I was not diagnosed until the birth of my second child, just over two years ago, and the stress of child rearing has nearly killed me. All the books say, change your lifestyle, switch jobs if you need to...whatever it takes to cut down on the stress that can trigger you episodes. Well, obviously, I can't cut out my kids, but that is without a doubt, the biggest stress in my life. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my kids....but motherhood is another story.
> Any words of wisdom or encouragement would help. I know it will get easier, but I have a four year old and a two year old. I can't work full time, so full time day care is out of the question. I do have them in a two day a week pre-school (which is out for the summer). And, I have a wonderful husband who helps a lot...but with my head issues, it is never enough.
>
> Help!!!
>
Posted by Barbara Cat on July 7, 2003, at 11:56:08
In reply to Re: mind noise - any head traumas? » Barbara Cat, posted by KimberlyDi on July 7, 2003, at 9:21:12
> Wires crossed because of head injury or just plain crazy? Who knows.
>
No, no, not crazy. Ultra sensitives have a hard time dealing with life because of being so attuned and vulnerable to everything. It's wearing, heartbreaking, circuits get blown out and then stressed-out biochemistry takes over. Also, having a strong bullsh*t meter doesn't win any points when no one else seems to notice and you can't just sit there, smile, and say nothing.I'd like to think that meds give us a break from the twanging antennas so that we can (hopefully) learn to tune out the static and use this sensitivity skilfully. As you said, doesn't have to be psychic at all, but very strong intuition has got to be a gift - why not? Anyway, that's my opinion.
Posted by KimberlyDi on July 8, 2003, at 8:10:45
In reply to Re: mind noise - any head traumas? » KimberlyDi, posted by Barbara Cat on July 7, 2003, at 11:56:08
>
> > Wires crossed because of head injury or just plain crazy? Who knows.
> >
> No, no, not crazy. Ultra sensitives have a hard time dealing with life because of being so attuned and vulnerable to everything. It's wearing, heartbreaking, circuits get blown out and then stressed-out biochemistry takes over. Also, having a strong bullsh*t meter doesn't win any points when no one else seems to notice and you can't just sit there, smile, and say nothing.
>
> I'd like to think that meds give us a break from the twanging antennas so that we can (hopefully) learn to tune out the static and use this sensitivity skilfully. As you said, doesn't have to be psychic at all, but very strong intuition has got to be a gift - why not? Anyway, that's my opinion.
>Hey, I like your opinion. I've known for a LONG time that I was different from other people in many ways. *twanging antennas* <~ i like that. :)
Kim
Posted by Jennifer N. on July 9, 2003, at 14:16:06
In reply to Re: Cyclothymia and Lamictal, posted by Psydoc on April 22, 2002, at 4:37:03
I have been taking Lamictal for 3 weeks. I have BD with major depressive disorder. My psychiatrist started me out at 25mg/day, increasing by 25mg/week until reaching 100mg/day. When I began Lamictal, I was on 200mg/day of Tegretol, and have been decreasing by 100mg/week until I reach zero. Today is my last dose of the Tegretol. I want to know how long the Lamictal should take to kick in. I am having increased manic and "racing thought" episodes. My doctor also gave me Seroquel, which has only helped some. Will I notice more of a difference after the Tegretol has been discontinued?
Posted by Barbara Cat on July 10, 2003, at 1:08:15
In reply to Re: Lamictal, posted by Jennifer N. on July 9, 2003, at 14:16:06
Lamictal started working within the first week for me. I noticed a definite brightening energetic effect which lasted about 2 months and then declined. During this time, I went through some extreme stress and so am not sure if my circumstances caused the decline or if it just pooped out. Lamictal was not strong enough to handle the severe depression that was engulfing me and I could not increase it past 100mg without anxiety. I went on nortriptyline, which definitely helped, but am now getting off because of the side effects.
I have BP-II with major depressive mixed states and basically, I'm determined to stabilize using lithium and lamictal only. I think lamictal is a worthwhile med and will titrate up slowly to see if it handles things.
I know nothing about tegretol but if you're not using a decent mood stabiliser concurrently, it's doubtful you'll have a smooth ride from lamictal alone. It seems to need something else to complete it's transmission. In my experience, lithium is the perfect partner - one potentiates the other. Together they become very effective in combatting the hell of an agitated depression. At least at first. Time will tell if this combo is more than just a tease.
> I have been taking Lamictal for 3 weeks. I have BD with major depressive disorder. My psychiatrist started me out at 25mg/day, increasing by 25mg/week until reaching 100mg/day. When I began Lamictal, I was on 200mg/day of Tegretol, and have been decreasing by 100mg/week until I reach zero. Today is my last dose of the Tegretol. I want to know how long the Lamictal should take to kick in. I am having increased manic and "racing thought" episodes. My doctor also gave me Seroquel, which has only helped some. Will I notice more of a difference after the Tegretol has been discontinued?
Posted by lmblec on July 10, 2003, at 2:28:18
In reply to Re: Lamictal, posted by Jennifer N. on July 9, 2003, at 14:16:06
about three weeks to kick in.I GET VERY DIZZY FROM JUST 50MG AND HATE THE DRUG
Posted by jaye on July 10, 2003, at 7:08:19
In reply to Re: Lamictal, posted by lmblec on July 10, 2003, at 2:28:18
> about three weeks to kick in.I GET VERY DIZZY FROM JUST 50MG AND HATE THE DRUG
I know my post may make people angry, but I keep asking----if we are sane enough to be writing on this website---and I do realize some folks simply cannot exist without meds---why can't some of us live with the pain, annoyance, terror by using coping techniques instead of drugs?
I have depression, mind chatter, images of horrible things coming up all day, but have been drug free for about six months. I have been trained to accept all this and use mediTation, exercise, etc. Like yesterday when I woke up and felt very upset to find myself in my waking reality again. I was freaking out, then finally put some sad music on and sobbed for 10 minutes and then was able to meditate for 10 minutes and became "healed" enough to do my work. Every day is a struggle. I call it "riding the dragon". The dragon goes up, he goes down, he is all over the place, and I stay on by living in the moment. Then I forget and I fall off. ouch!major mental emergency! then I scramble around tying to figure out what in the hell happened, then just let go and let all the bad stuff just flow through me. Not get attached to what is happening to me, then amazinging I am "on the dragon" again. We are all here for the experience, whether good or bad and I beleive we have to chose if we want to go through our time on earth asleep (medicated).
Posted by starlight on July 10, 2003, at 11:52:06
In reply to Re: Lamictal » Jennifer N., posted by Barbara Cat on July 10, 2003, at 1:08:15
Kimberly Di,
With that combo have you noticed weight gain? I take 1800 of trileptal and 200 of lamictal. And while it's been helpful, really helpful, I still notice that I seem to swing a lot. I have underlying depression that has gotten better, but will still have wide swings and sometimes wonder if maybe a different combo or an uppage of lamictal would be more benificial.It's doubly difficult, because, I have this part of me that would frankly loved to be numb - what's the Pink Floyd song, Comfortably Numb? My addictive nature - yep that's me. Just drug me up so I can't feel the pain that seems to linger all the time. That's the part of me that I think would like to see me destroyed. The whole thing is a bit strange eh?
starlight.
Posted by starlight on July 10, 2003, at 12:20:43
In reply to Re: Andrew & Cynthia, posted by Sean on August 8, 1999, at 17:43:52
I actually noticed my depressions early, early on. 3rd grade was when it started and by 11th or 12th grade I was cycling even higher. Although I can remember as early as 10 and 11 years old staying up all night long reading Nancy Drew books with a flashlight under my sheets. I had some severe depressions in my childhood, but the impact on my energy level wasn't that bad - it would be painful, and I wouldn't feel like doing anything, but I would push through it.
I cycle fast, swing fast, probably kindled by a couple of years on wellbutrin. When I got my new pDoc, my speech was so fast that I think I overwhelmed him. He diagnosed me as Bipolar II pretty quickly, although I think he thinks I'm closer to Bipolar I at this point.
In the military I definitely was on a high, for a long time. Mix that with an eating disorder and I was a mess. The military doc tried putting me on an antidepressant, I have no idea which one, only knew that I wouldn't stick with it.
Sean - I too am a singer songwriter, with a band and am a highly creative person. This runs in my family and hopefully I will be able to gain a better hold on my future. We'll see.
Starlight
Posted by starlight on July 10, 2003, at 12:22:37
In reply to Re: rapid cycling and mind noise, posted by Barbara Cat on July 4, 2003, at 11:32:28
Barbara,
I've had very similar and profound experiences. Loved them - mine have always been positive. Wish I had more, quite frankly. They make life more interesting.
starlight
Posted by Barbara Cat on July 10, 2003, at 12:27:36
In reply to Re: Lamictal, posted by jaye on July 10, 2003, at 7:08:19
Jaye,
I agree with what you're saying with some considerations. First of all, I practice Shi-ne meditation, which is about embracing all emotions as the path to awakening. It's wonderfully suited for simply being with whatever comes up and is a very powerful path for me. However, I can get into really bad places anyway and when this happens I have no access to my higher mind, higher self, clarity. It's very hard on my psyche and body and very self defeating. It then becomes like climbing on that dragon's tail when you can barely crawl. I think that most of us here on this board would love to know how to do life without these meds, but we don't have that information available to us yet.Living life skillfully and consciously takes determination, discipline and good instruction. Perhaps not everyone is willing to work that hard but are grateful that taking a pill at least helps them function. I know that I am committed to waking up, have been on a spiritual path for over 30 years. I give it as much as I'm able, but it's still not enough to fully heal my very tweaky nervous system. I've tried going solo many many times, relying on my training and inner wisdom, and every time I come whimpering back to meds. It's very clear I don't know how to do this yet and no matter how much I meditate, eat pristinely, get exercise, I still have alot more learning to do. It's like trying to land an airplane without first knowing how to do it. I may be crazy but I'm not stupid and climbing on that dragon's tail in a raw and frenzied state is just plain foolish.
You mention coping as a way of dealing with our moods. Perhaps you haven't had the kind of mood disorder whereby all your coping skills, lessons learned from experience, putting two thoughts together, fly out the window and the center isn't available. In this case, coping may be accepting help from whatever quarter until our own coping skills are honed and finally anchored. Hopefully we'll get there. Maybe the biggest gift for me from these meds is that they allow me to entertain hope that I'll eventually learn what it is that I need to know. Barbara
> I know my post may make people angry, but I keep asking----if we are sane enough to be writing on this website---and I do realize some folks simply cannot exist without meds---why can't some of us live with the pain, annoyance, terror by using coping techniques instead of drugs?
> I have depression, mind chatter, images of horrible things coming up all day, but have been drug free for about six months. I have been trained to accept all this and use mediTation, exercise, etc. Like yesterday when I woke up and felt very upset to find myself in my waking reality again. I was freaking out, then finally put some sad music on and sobbed for 10 minutes and then was able to meditate for 10 minutes and became "healed" enough to do my work. Every day is a struggle. I call it "riding the dragon". The dragon goes up, he goes down, he is all over the place, and I stay on by living in the moment. Then I forget and I fall off. ouch!major mental emergency! then I scramble around tying to figure out what in the hell happened, then just let go and let all the bad stuff just flow through me. Not get attached to what is happening to me, then amazinging I am "on the dragon" again. We are all here for the experience, whether good or bad and I beleive we have to chose if we want to go through our time on earth asleep (medicated).
>
Posted by starlight on July 10, 2003, at 12:48:56
In reply to Re: Lamictal, posted by jaye on July 10, 2003, at 7:08:19
Jaye,
You can choose to live that way if you like. I practice yoga, work my creativity, journal every day and choose to not live in pain if I don't have to. I would love to be medication free. But when I don't have meds, I just self medicate any way be it alcohol, pot, exercise, food, you name it. So while you're having fun riding the dragon, I'm using well researched approaches and trying to stabilize my life with God given gifts to medicine. Would you tell a diabetic to cure himself using meditation?
starlight
Posted by Jack Smith on July 10, 2003, at 13:24:58
In reply to Re: Lamictal, posted by jaye on July 10, 2003, at 7:07:37
> I keep asking----if we are sane enough to be writing on this website---
I am depressed, not insane. Ask Ernest Hemingway the same question. He was "sane enough" to write some of the greatest novels of all time in the midst of horrible depressions. Then he blew his brains out.
> I do realize some folks simply cannot exist without meds---why can't some of us live with the pain, annoyance, terror by using coping techniques instead of drugs?
Some people do, i.e. you. Some of us don't. Some of us use both.
> I have depression, mind chatter, images of horrible things coming up all day, but have been drug free for about six months.
Congratulations. I do not know what your point is. Are you saying you are stronger than we? Are you saying that if you could do it we could? Who knows, had you never used meds, you may not be able to live without them now. Ever think about that?
> I have been trained to accept all this and use mediTation, exercise, etc. Like yesterday when I woke up and felt very upset to find myself in my waking reality again. I was freaking out, then finally put some sad music on and sobbed for 10 minutes and then was able to meditate for 10 minutes and became "healed" enough to do my work.
That's great that you were able to get well enough to work. But what's your point?
> We are all here for the experience, whether good or bad and I beleive we have to chose if we want to go through our time on earth asleep (medicated).
Medication = sleep? OK, for me, that's wrong. When I am in the midst of a severe depression, I feel much more asleep than when I am medicated. Frankly, I come here to this website for support regarding meds. I would prefer not to be preached to about how I should not be on them. I honestly feel good for you that you seem to be able to cope without them, however. Good luck and God Bless.
JACK
Posted by KimberlyDi on July 10, 2003, at 16:38:02
In reply to Re: Lamictal, posted by starlight on July 10, 2003, at 11:52:06
starlight, i'm confused at which thread you are replying to. I don't take trileptal or lamictal. I'm just stumbling around with Effexor. :) Comfortably Numb was one of my FAVORITE songs in the 80's & 90's. "Hello <echo> hello hello, is there anybody in there?"
> Kimberly Di,
> With that combo have you noticed weight gain? I take 1800 of trileptal and 200 of lamictal. And while it's been helpful, really helpful, I still notice that I seem to swing a lot. I have underlying depression that has gotten better, but will still have wide swings and sometimes wonder if maybe a different combo or an uppage of lamictal would be more benificial.
>
> It's doubly difficult, because, I have this part of me that would frankly loved to be numb - what's the Pink Floyd song, Comfortably Numb? My addictive nature - yep that's me. Just drug me up so I can't feel the pain that seems to linger all the time. That's the part of me that I think would like to see me destroyed. The whole thing is a bit strange eh?
> starlight.
Posted by KimberlyDi on July 10, 2003, at 16:56:56
In reply to Re: Lamictal - Taming the Dragon, posted by starlight on July 10, 2003, at 12:48:56
Starlight, we are so much alike.
A note to Jaye (and no, i didn't take offense at your post). I'm very happy for you that you have been successful in your med-free life.
Another factor in the "to use or not to use AD's". I am a better person to my co-workers and to my family when I have AD's to subdue my inner demons. If I were single and not a mother, I might try to live life without the AD's. I have a responsibility to my family NOT to ride the frantic emotional roller coaster ride. The highs were followed by crashes. I've already put my son through too much worry, my WHOLE family too much worry.
If you think people are responding defensively to you posts, remember... nothing annoys a smoker more than a non-smoker. <grin>
Good luck, Kim
> Jaye,
> You can choose to live that way if you like. I practice yoga, work my creativity, journal every day and choose to not live in pain if I don't have to. I would love to be medication free. But when I don't have meds, I just self medicate any way be it alcohol, pot, exercise, food, you name it. So while you're having fun riding the dragon, I'm using well researched approaches and trying to stabilize my life with God given gifts to medicine. Would you tell a diabetic to cure himself using meditation?
> starlight
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