Posted by 4WD on February 3, 2006, at 21:28:34
In reply to Re: is there a time to give up?, posted by reese7194 on February 3, 2006, at 18:49:48
> i never said i am looking for medication for an answer. but looking for anything is looking for something. it doesn't matter if you find your answer in the arms of another or in the arms of a book or in anything.
>
> in the end if you can't live in your own skin you are somewhat screwed. no how you go about living in your own skin is a whole other business.
>
> and i do believe that everyone is different. just like in boxing some people have better chins than others. same goes with emotions and how some react and cause and effect and all that.
>
> but it is hard for me not to say that at a point in time, something turns to a degree where there isn't a reply, an answer, a change, a hope that can help one find there way back to what or where they used to be.
>
> i don't feel that is a pessimistic or negative view. i just think that it is. i don't blame others. i don't blame anyone. except the one who is viewing. which is me.
Reese,I understand what you are saying. But I truly believe that clinical depression is controlling your beliefs at the moment. Obviously it controls our feelings, our emotions. We can't help feeling desperate and hopeless when we are so deeply depressed. And I know that it can be impossible to separate your beliefs from your feelings when you are so deeply depressed.
But they *are* different. If you found an antidepressant that worked for you, I believe that you would no longer believe that things were hopeless. I know this is a paradoxical statement. Obviously, if you felt better, you'd feel better, right? I know that when I am that deeply depressed, I cannot believe or feel that things will ever be better or different. But I am being taught in therapy and elsewhere that my beliefs don't have to echo my feelings. I can *feel* hopeless and desperate and still not *believe* that things are hopeless. That's what my therapist says anyway. I am just beginning to get to where I can view it that way. And still when I am at a low point, I can't make myself believe that I will ever feel better.
I guess I'm asking you to try and separate your feelings from your beliefs. Do you truly believe things will never get better? Do you truly believe things are hopeless? Not do you *feel* that way but do you *believe* it?
Another way to put this is instead of thinking about why you should go ahead and give up, ask yourself why you haven't given up already. You must believe there is some chance of things getting better or you would already have given up.
Are there any days where you feel relatively okay? Less depressed? Even parts of days? Put them on a calendar. Keep track. Then, when you are in the pit, you can look at it and remember that there were days when things weren't as bad. It helps me to see in black and white that I was suicidal two weeks ago and okay a week after that and suicidal again a couple of days later but I am okay today. It gives me hope that there will be good days to come.
Marsha
poster:4WD
thread:606086
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20060203/msgs/606104.html