Posted by trouble on March 5, 2002, at 4:47:24
In reply to parents - the eternal battle, posted by ELA on March 4, 2002, at 11:35:50
Well ELA you certainly summed it up in your post, the eternal battle, it doesn't end, not even after they die.
Can I ask a few questions, just to get a conceptual framework for your situation?
What are you studying at the university?
Do you plan to return?
Are your parents paying for school?
When you say you "had" to come back home, was there a crises or something going on in the family, or were you just playing fast and loose w/ your grammar?I think your group has a handle on your circumstances when they advise you to get out. People who are judgemental and who live in fear of social stigma make it impossible to be yourself around, the eggshell effect of living in that kind of environment can undo thousands of dollars worth of therapy, the work we do to accept who we are is just wiped out when our parents are running that kind of script on us. I know you feel responsible, b/c you can see what they need, but IMHO nothing you can do will help them to relax, they don't feel safe, and as you say, nothing anyone does can penetrate their armor.
Last question:
> Am feeling a bit better today, just very tired all the time. I'm just sick and tired of them expecting me to just get over this thing quickly.
Who do you mean by "them"? Your parents or your therapeutic community? I ask this b/c if the latter I hope I don't come across as pressuring you similarly w/ my pointed inquiries. My mom has been dead for over a decade and I'm still launching plans to help her heal her life. No it's not something a daughter gets over, much less quickly.
You have a right to develop at your own pace (this is a favorite mantra w/ me, though easier to apply to others than my own impatient and slothful self).
keep in touch,
trouble
poster:trouble
thread:19221
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020305/msgs/19304.html