Posted by Lini on February 27, 2002, at 9:00:29
In reply to The bipolar artist, posted by Gracie2 on February 27, 2002, at 0:14:38
I wonder too about the personality price. While the base boards are clean and I have extra toothbrushes, I miss the "crazy girl" that drives around at 4 a.m. trying to escape the moon.
There is the me that gets poetic and dark alone on the kitchen floor with a bottle of Merlot, wishing I could just disapear and in love with the idea of investigators going through my things. Then there is the me at work, lip glossed and focused, thinking through business strategy and client needs, planning the perfect 401(k) plan and applying to grad school. I can't decide who I love more, who deserves to be the "me" that struggles through my life?
The one thing that keeps me reaching for the pills is I can't get it out of my mind that if I don't have my shit together, I will never be able to have children. Not that this is a prerequisite or anything, (just ask my parents) but it would be nice if my children never had to worry why mommy hadn't combed her hair in two weeks.
I don't know - I think I could contribute alot to the world, on my meds or off, they would just be two completely different ways of being alive. I guess the thing I have to decide between is what is the most important thing I want to contribute?
poster:Lini
thread:18957
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/social/20020223/msgs/18975.html