Posted by rskontos on December 3, 2008, at 9:27:19
In reply to Re: One little sentence - long, posted by workinprogress on December 3, 2008, at 1:37:22
Daisym,
Something SoSlided said made me remember something my T told me about myself that I really never knew but made so much sense. I severely dissociated my childhood. I have inklings about what went on, and some has been confirmed but much of what it I just "feel" in my body and soul what has been done and I am just not ready to feel it full-scaled.
But what my t said to me, is this, "He rsk you invented in your mind a mother that you wanted, and needed." I never realized this. It made sense as to why the few memories I had were not right when my middle sister told me what really happened. (Not pretty, no wonder I invented what I wished happened).
I wanted a mother like the ones I saw at school and friends homes. So I made one up, one to interact with in my head. The real one was way too scary. And harmful.
I too wished I had another family. Not to take away from my sisters, I would take them too. And I wish I had the life they took away from me. My parents.
While I watched Obama and his acceptance speech I cried. I cried because watching him with his family, his little girls, I wanted him to be my dad. I watched him take his little girls to school the next day after he was elected, and I thought, wow to have a dad like that! I wanted that for me, and for all the children right now with parents that are hurting them, or ignoring them. I hurt for myself and all those that have crappy, abusive, neglectful parents. I went in to therapy and cried like a baby to my T. For me and for all those other children that might grow up to be in therapy one day like me. It just hurts now and will probably always no matter how well I am doing.
So go ahead, wish for whatever and whomever. You deserve it!
Take of you and little DAisym, you both deserve some peace and comfort.
rsk
poster:rskontos
thread:866338
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20081120/msgs/866418.html