Posted by muffled on December 29, 2007, at 18:36:36
In reply to . i've had enough. how long can i go on like this, posted by star008 on December 26, 2007, at 19:29:00
Well you've had alot of whammys...
-isolation
-physical illness
-nasty holiday
-winter blahs
-?
So I suppose its reasonable enuf you feeling especially down :-(
You been w/same T 10 yrs.....
Any chance you trying a new T? Something different? Just at least its not physically invasive to try new T.
One day my T said to me, well, she kinda muttered it to herself aloud, and she said, 'I wish i could just make you mad', or something like that. I think she gets tired of my always being so emotionally controlled.
But she don't do it. She kinda skirted round it a time or two, but EP comes and calmly tells her to back off if she got any brains....
And she got brains, so she backs off.
But I wonder sometimes.......
What if she DID get me to break free?
I honestly don't think I would ever physically harm her. Not unless she came after me, which I can't know why she ever would.
So I dunno star, but I wonder. Mebbe a new T, or mebbe can you 'shake up' this old T, and say "HEY", and mix it up a bit? Say, 'this is it!', we gotta change stuff, we goto try something new....
Just some thots...
I been thinking this bout my T!
Everyonce in awhile we do get crazy, and its usu a good thing.
But I completely understand why my T is careful, cuz one of these times I could die, or even just seriously injure myself, and I guess, understandably, she don't want feel like she precipitated me going that way.
But what she proly don't get, is that I gonna end up doing it ANYWAYS eventually. Cuz I GOTO stop this damn sh*t in my head. So mebbe I get crazy, whether I triggered by T, or just by my own buildup of headshit. I *WILL* get crazy, one way or another. Sometimes I just have to do something to make it STOP.
I dunno.
I just write this cuz mebbe it'll give you some ideas.
Take care you.
M
poster:muffled
thread:802790
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20071215/msgs/803174.html