Posted by Honore on August 19, 2007, at 12:31:36
In reply to Processing Stuff - Trigger, posted by DAisym on August 16, 2007, at 19:30:42
Hi, Daisy.
One thing about the dream, is that you don't have to tell him anything. Eventually, the situation will change, in the dream, as it changes in life-- that is, as you work it through in your feelings.
At least that's what happened for me. I dreamed about my father every night for almost a year and a half; then the dream stopped. The dreams started again about six months later, and then they gradually began to change in content. In the dream (which I might have written about a little before), my father was dying or had died of a horrible disease. It was quite specific in the dream, although the exact manifestation was different each night-- but they were all the same, in effect. It seemed that it was my fault; or I had been the one who made it so bad that he was dying, or sometimes he would die as we sat together, because of things I said or did. Sometimes I tried to save him, but sometimes there wasn't time, or way.
In the later dreams, the disease was treatable; and although the treatments weren't reliable and could always fail, they had some success, even though the remission was fragile. I was always afraid something I did or said would end the remission and he would be dying, or in a prolonged empty state of deathliness.
What was amazing was that over time, the remissions were more complete, and more stable; and the disease even somewhat disappeared and became like a chronic tendency. I would almost forget that he could relapse in many of the later dreams.
What I mean to say is, that I never was able to make him better in the dreams; but he got better as I got better. I don't know why or how this happened, but it was so very clear over a long time of dreaming that dream.
Maybe that's what will happen for you-- the dream may not change now, but as you feel more whole, more safe, more yourself, you'll be able to change in the dream, or the things in the dream will somehow change-- and you'll be safer, or your abuser will be less able to hurt you.
If I hadn't had the experience myself, I would think it was mystical, but having gone through it, I know it can happen. It doesn't seem like a coincidence or fluke; it's a mirror of something that's real in your deeper sense of yourself and the world, which you're working on and which will be what makes the difference over time.
Honore
poster:Honore
thread:776688
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070807/msgs/777082.html