Posted by wishingstar on June 19, 2007, at 9:02:22
In reply to Re: How do you balance it? » Dinah, posted by twinleaf on June 19, 2007, at 8:55:34
Oh Dinah, I know what you mean!!
I've felt this way many times.. with my current T and past T. My current T refers to it as "creating a crisis" and I guess that's what it really is. Do something extreme to get her attention. I recently actually told her that I was feeling like hurting myself to get her attention. Nothing really improved and shes still missing the boat entirely.
I think, at least for me, the reason really is pretty simple. I have a huge need for validation and "feeling heard" over everything else, and it's easy for Ts to slip into problem solving mode where theyre totally focused on insight, connections, behavioral changes, etc. For me, I start feeling like theyre missing the point. I tend to make the behavioral changes on my own when I feel sufficiently heard and supported. Validation really is so important, especially given the homes many of us grew up in where our every feeling was ignored or wrong or punished. I need to be constantly reminded that she hears me, and gets it because then I know shes accepting my feelings as well.. not just missing them. Who knows.
poster:wishingstar
thread:764138
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070612/msgs/764147.html